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February 05, 2010


A heartfelt apology.


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are there actually people out there who cannot detect sarcasm??? i fart in their general direction.
great column dave.
for my part, i believe that miami may be fictional entirely.... but then, i'm always in a new york state of mind......

We Connecticutters assume that Dave and his sense of humor represent the majority of Miamians and count as an attractive Miami asset.

Also maybe, the kilt bar.

Thanks for clearing that up, Dave!

And Siouxie informs me that she keeps her machete to use only as a cheese spreader.

Dave, your humor makes you definitely makes you an asset to Miami.

Dave, did the chamber of commerce leave another pythgon head in your bed?

And that gunfire you hear is the Miami Visitor's Bureau accepting your apology.

Does this mean you now have to go back on NPR to air your applogy to the radio world? I am sure that All Things Considered got TONS of letters about what a poop head you are.

Booger to all crabby Miamites (ians?) who don't appreciate Dave's humor!

*pets fivver's pythgon*

To make the Super Bowl perfectly safe, they should just play it in a random city that is kept a secret to everyone (including the teams) until the morning of the game. Then allow no spectators, just TV cameras and cheerleaders.
For the TV audience, they should play all the commercials at one time before the game starts, since that's what many people really want to see anyway, and then we can go back to watching the Puppy Bowl in peace.

Miami. We use kinder, gentler bullets. Our knives are cuddly, too.

(Oh, looked up and the snowstorm of the century has started.)

Most excellent, Dave!

BFF, so true. And it's not really all that sharp.

Dave, I loved both articles and left a comment saying so. Let's face it without you, Hemmingway, and Carl Hiaasen, Miami would just be another big city with problems. I also managed to plug your book in my comment.

I hereby retract my bitching about all the re-run columns. It could be worse, though. Donald Trump and Gene Simmons aren't there.

If I'm not mistaken, at the end of the column the Blogmeister retracted his retraction.

I can't wait until tomorrow when he retracts the retraction of his retraction. Humbly.

pad..shhh! I noticed that too. Maybe the humorless idiots won't figure it out.

Yes, I've used this before, but it bears repeating: Sarchasm -- the gulf between sarcastic wit and those who don't get it.

We love you Dave. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Dave will be entering the Pine Hill Center for Satire Addiction Rehabilitation immediately following the Super Bowl.

Obviously, the Humor Impaired are a powerful lobby. With bad furnishings and a musty odor about them.

So Dave, regarding these Miami whiners: Just how many payments do they have left on their personalities?

Being a humor columnist in Miami should mean never having to say you're sorry. Either that or starting each column with a HUMOR ALERT warning for the slower readers.

The big question: Can Dave Barry Save Himself?

The really funny thing is...these idiots will actually believe the apology was real. HAH!

Siouxie, not only will they believe it's real they'll think he apologised because of their comments or letters to the editors about the first column.

(PSSSSST! Don't let the tourists know that a arkSHAY ate a wimmerSAY)
(Don't let the tourists know that I was offered a job as a lifeguard at that beach a few years ago when I spotted kids in trouble and the lifeguard on duty didn't.)

I suspect part of the problem is that Dave writes in English, which is hard to understand in many places outside the U.S. Mea navis aëricumbens anguillis abundat.

What if NO ONE complained about the first one and it was just a great excuse to run the second column -- like maybe (da - da dummmmmmm) it was planned that way?? ("Baldrick, I have a clever plan....")

Are you saying it's a vast, angel-wing conspiracy, Tash?

Super Bowl 2010 Ads are very important to all the NFL and Super Bowl lovers. While many experts say that the Indianapolis Colts will win the game, still on the other side of the coin, anything can happen. Super Bowl 2010 defies the regular game because this is the biggest football game of the season passing the college bowls In fact i am sure the Saint of will win.What do u think?

that would be a cunning plan Blackadder!

This strange urge to shout grew as I read points 1 through 8...finally, I could take it no more. Somebody had to say it and I did, out loud, right after reading point 8:

"Dave Barry is making this up."

The shark was a big clue. The final retraction was excellent, too!

Dave won't really be in trouble 'til the Florida DMV gets on his case, and it's never gonna happen: right now, they're booked until at least mid-century, handing out all those driver's licenses.

Do any of you ignorant fools know how to spell? How about getting a grade school degree? IDIOTS!

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