24

Here is where we stand:

Last week Jack and Chloe and Special Agent Freddie Prinze Jr. thwarted the plot to kill Generic Islamic Republic President Sham, whose brother was planning to buy deadly nuclear rods from the Russians, who have brought the rods to New York City, a flagrant violation of city health ordinances. So now the Russians are looking for a new buyer. Fortunately, ex-FBI-agent and hot person love interest from last season Renee just happened to be in New York City, and -- in another extremely believable coincidence -- she used to work undercover with the Russians.

At the end of the previous episode, Renee removed a parole bracelet from a lower-level Russian mobster by putting his hand in a vice and using a circular saw to cut off his thumb, an action that totally shocked Jack inasmuch as Renee -- in flagrant violation of CTU regulations -- was not wearing safety goggles. So now Jack realizes that, in addition to being hot, Renee is a psychotic homicidal lunatic. He has never wanted her more.

In subplot action, highly qualified CTU agent Diana Walsh is probably going to go kill her slimebag ex-boyfriend. Or maybe she's going to get her laundry. We don't really care, as long as she continues to get screen time.

Edgar is still dead.

Be sure to stay tuned in comments after the show for the authoritative recap from The Amazing Steve.

Meanwhile, here's a poll:

What do you think of the new Renee?
	She is insane.
	But in a good way.
	We should send her to Washington.
	If she and Jack end up in bed together, there will be no survivors.
	Montpelier.
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: Nothing has happened yet.

UPDATE: Why don't the makers of V-8 just throw in the towel and start putting alcohol in it?

UPDATE: What still bothers me about last week is, when Renee was cutting off the guy's thumb, why didn't he use his other hand to, I don't know, try to stop her?

UPDATE: They could at least get the radiation brother a Netflix account.

UPDATE: Renee seems surprised that the guy is bleeding from where SHE CUT OFF HIS THUMB.

UPDATE: WHO ARE YOU CALLING UNSTABLE?????????????

UPDATE: What a baby! He loses one lousy thumb and he's all "Waahhh, I lost my thumb."

UPDATE: I wonder if they smuggled the rods into the country in their underpants. No, wait! I bet they put them in clear, one-quart, resealable plastic bags! Those fiends.

UPDATE: The severed-thumb guy's mood sure perked up fast.

UPDATE: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

UPDATE: Seriously, this is the fastest thumb-severing recovery ever.

UPDATE: Hey! Russians say "I'm just saying."

UPDATE: OK, a half-hour gone, and nothing has happened.

UPDATE: I want a thing in my ear that tells me what to say.

UPDATE: Renee is in the Trunk of Radio Silence.

UPDATE: Still no actual action.

UPDATE: Have I mentioned that I totally do not see the appeal of the Geico gecko?

UPDATE; Now THIS is how you get health care.

UPDATE: A CTU operation! Nothing can go wrong!

UPDATE: Jack of course knows exactly where Newton Creek is in New York City.

UPDATE: I am totally strunned and shocked and surprised that Vladimir did not kill Renee, a featured character.

UPDATE: In other words, nothing happened this week.

UPDATE: Next week: Round glasses! Renee in a towel! Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

[Wes S.]

Jack and Emo Renee vs. the Rods of the Apocalypse. I can't wait...

...OK, perhaps Renee isn't emo, exactly, because she cuts other people. Still, she probably still qualifies as Goth...

[Cassie]

Signing in early.

9 minutes of Jack's kills from seasons 1-7 including "Redemption."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08uJanZEeMo

[Cassie]

Hi Wes!

Well, once you go Pet Sematary... you'll never be the same.

[danceswithvowels]

Don't send her to Washington, the insane-in-a-bad-way place!

[Wes S.]

Dances, she'd thin the herd. Which would be a good thing, even if she did use a SkilSaw.

[homeybeef]

House just figured out that 24 starts in 10 minutes

[Gennita Low]

Hi everyone!

House is going to diagnose Renee after this psychopath ;).

[Cassie]

Howdy everyone!

LOL @ Gennita

[MartiniShark]

I don't think I ever like Agent Freckles as much as I do now if I were see her I might refrain from asking for her digits -- I'm likely to get someone else's.

Looking forward to seeing Jack work on her vice addiction -- which is not a redundancy on this program.

[Wes S.]

Jack to Renee in the preview: "You're unstable."

Pot, meet kettle. My, how black you are...

[MartiniShark]

Talk about the pot calling the chronic "hemp".

[Cassie]

Isn't Castle's setting in NYC? Crossover! Crossover!

[Gennita Low]

Oh wow, Renee needs lots of copper!

[rockin01]

Hey, ya'll! Ready for another hour of mayhem with a cast of deranged loose canyons- oh yeah, and besides the blog, there's an episode of 24 on, too...

[danceswithvowels]

I suppose that could help, Wes. If the herd's problems were fat. Or, um, "digitalis".

[Meanie the Blue]

Preview showed that Renee was posed in a safety towel, which Jack should have no trouble at all approving.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
(Pssst? You wanna new watch? Five dollars!)
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!

*Frank Sinatra's "New York New York" begins playing*

Start stabbing the thighs
Jack’s killing today
He wants to be a part of it
New York, New York!

These C4 bomb shoes
are longing to slay
Right through the very heart of Jack
New York, New York!

He wants to shoot at a thug that doesn’t sleep
And find the thrill of the kill – ammo’s so cheap

Those boring plot blues
are wasting away.
Jack’ll make a brand new start of it
In old New York!
If they can - kill Jack there
They’ll kill him - anywhere!
It’s up to Jack
New York, New York!

New York, New York!
Dark Freckles slices thumbs in a city full of creeps
And finds she’s now number one, top of the list,
Queen of the kill, can’t be outdone

Those random plot blues
Are making their way
And CTU better make a break for it
In old New York
‘Cos if Jack can - save us there
He can save us – anywhere

It’s up to Jack
New York, New York!

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BOWAH POWAH OWAH!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™ isn't afraid to say it loud and proud!") and ChloeSack™ ("ChloeSack™ wonders what JackSack™ isn't afraid to say?")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This season's "24" intros are brought to you in memory of my dear friend Michael "Sparky" Bushaw, who passed away the day after this past Christmas. Sparky, my fraternity big brother, best man at my wedding and best friend for the last 20 years, was the one person with whom I watched "24" when it originally premiered on Fox. Always a fan of the show, I believe it fitting to dedicate this season in his memory. Rest in peace, brother...I miss you!

[redwave72]

Question - Will renee give Jack the finger?

[rockin01]

Wow- apparently "Refrigerator Perry" is guest-starring next week on House.

[MartiniShark]

I think the uranium was smuggled in his hair.

[Cassie]

RIP Sparky.

[homeybeef]

I remember none of these things that happened last week.

[danceswithvowels]

What? Last week, my brother was the change I wasn't waiting for?

[nursecindy]

I hope all body parts stay intact tonight and I agree with Dave about the V-8

[homeybeef]

Well, except for Freckles awesomeness

[Wes S.]

Dances, it would be hard for Congresscritters, their staffers and lobbyists to write two-thousand-page, unreadable spending bills if they didn't have enough digits to hold the pen...

[Cassie]

Agent Walker hasn't been undercover in six years... uh.. wasn't she under the covers with Jack? ;-)

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Ready to go! See ya about 15-30 minutes after the show! Maybe sooner!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

That thumb slicing never gets old...

[Jeff Meyerson]

House is just to annoying.

Oh good, because I wasn't grossed out enough the first time.

[redwave72]

Should have guessed it was Kamistan!

[Gennita Low]

Oooh I lurv it when they speak in their native tongue, English.

[Meanie the Blue]

Kamistan! Now we know.

[MartiniShark]

That's the world's largest BlueTooth -- which is the opposite of the point.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Bad accent alert!

[Mitch]

Terroist dude should know not to talk on cellphone when Predators are near.

[[email protected]]

kamistan ? maybe commi-stan

[danceswithvowels]

I missed it -- The Islamic Republic of Kamasutrastan?

[Jeff Meyerson]

too annoying that is

[nursecindy]

RIP Amazing Steve's computer keyboard.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Yes, keep the guy spewing radiation in your pantry with your food...

[Gennita Low]

I can understand Kamistani!

[Gretchen]

Hey! Hugh Laurie is a GENIUS! I won't hear bad stuff said about House. Even though I stopped watching two years ago because it's so repetitive.

[Cassie]

What I'd give to see Krycek walk in...

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Take him to the same place that NBC is taking Conan...

[MartiniShark]

Take him to the country house, there he can irradiate the vegetable garden.

[Meanie the Blue]

Sam the Sham from Kamistan.

Woo!

[homeybeef]

THE RODS

[Jeff Meyerson]

Farhad, SHAVE!!!

[Gretchen]

Does anyone else think it's weird when grown men call their fathers "papa"?

[danceswithvowels]

One of the rods is named Svetlana?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Farhad likes chicks? Who knew?

[Mitch]

Preference?

Breathing, please.

[Gennita Low]

Papa don't preach....

[Siouxie]

NOW she's worried about a little blood?

[nursecindy]

What are they goig to do read him a bedtime story? Is Renee surprised he's still bleeding??

[ArcticAl]

so jack finds something to cauterize a wound in a auto parts store? Since when is wd40 good for wounds?

[Cassie]

Who are you calling?

Ghostbusters? Tony? Nina?

[Wes S.]

Acid cauterizes wounds?

Hey, it's a hardware store. All else fails, Jack could have spackled the stump shut...

[Gretchen]

"This was the only play Jack. You would have done the same thing."

"Yeah, but it's only funny when I do it."

[Jeff Meyerson]

Pot calling kettle black time.

Jack called Renee unstable?!

[frederic1943]

Bringing the rods to New York City would not be a flagrant violation of city health ordinances. They don't have any trans-fats or smoke cigarettes!

[kombatkoala]

Wow, I thought Heroes was over on NBC...

[Gennita Low]

Wait, did Sanjaya score?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Anyway, Hastings can't handle the truth.

[MartiniShark]

Jack is smitten: her red hair, her red lips, the red shop floor . . .

[Bnatural]

A "rough patch"??? I'd hate to know if she really had traumatic experience!

[danceswithvowels]

Liquid Bondo? Cool!

[Siouxie]

What's it gonna be boy?? Yes..or No??

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Jeez, Jack, you think that shooting Freckles, covering her with plastic, putting her in a ditch and burying her did anything to help push her over the edge?

[PhilinTexas]

uh oh more power tools

[ArcticAl]

really Jack I'm fine. I dodn't enjoy cutting off his thumb at all. It was just business.

Don't be a big baby. It's only a thumb.

[Gretchen]

What a baby! You cut off his hand and he screams. Wuss.

[Meanie the Blue]

Let me sleep on it, Siouxie.

[The Dead Henchman]

He's listening, because he loves the sound of screams...

[Cassie]

He's lucky he only lost a thumb. Ratboy lost his arm.

[homeybeef]

No really. Are you serious?

[danceswithvowels]

Grow up, baby! You can still win Balalaika Hero with no thumb.

[Jeff Meyerson]

What did they do with the thumb?

[nursecindy]

Makes note to never ask Renee for a favor.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

$2.5 - $3 million for a left thumb...I guess that's okay. I mean, it's only a LEFT thumb...

[spazztic]

Wow. The promise of money is an instant pain-killer. Who knew?

[Gennita Low]

No more hand-to-hand combat for you! (Did Renee just wrap his hand on top of his stump? Like it would grow back?)

[ArcticAl]

Trust me its been taken care of.

You really don't want to know Chloe.

[Jeff Meyerson]

He has a tracking bracelet.

Not any more.

[Gretchen]

It was his thumb? I thought it was his HAND. Crybaby.

[Mitch]

"I did you favor by taking that thumb off. Now, you'll never have to worry about being murdered by psychopath who picks up hitchhikers."

[Siouxie]

heh...Meanie :P

[MartiniShark]

he'll be a hunt-and-peck typist from now on.

[nursecindy]

He could get more if he filed workers comp.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Kill this loser already.

[Gennita Low]

Siouxie and Meanie: Funny :)!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

"Starbuck's Sex Chat Line, how can I help you?"

[Gretchen]

Yeah. That's the kind of guy who ALWAYS follows directions.

[Cassie]

Guess he can't regrow a thumb like Romano did in X-Files. LOL

[ArcticAl]

Well if she's already been involved in one murder, then offing the boy friend should be easy.

[Gretchen]

Call off the engagement! That diamond is little more than a chip! Who knew Freddie was so cheap?

[Cheesewiz]

Why is not surprising that CTU hires ex-cons?

[spazztic]

I KNEW Dana/Jenny was an ex-con!
Accessory to murder.

[nursecindy]

Why doesn't blondie send Renee over to the stalker's house and tell her he needs a mole removed or something. Give her another saw to use.