Dave Barry's Blog: FLORIDA CRIMINAL MASTERRMIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR

January 28, 2010

PALM HARBOR — By pedal boat and bicycle, a fleeing burglar clad only in boxer shorts couldn't get away quite fast enough, authorities say.

(Thanks to Ralph and silverstone)

Comments

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"It's hard to get away with your pants on the ground,
Your pants on the ground, your pants on the ground"

Posted by: Punkin | January 28, 2010 at 07:43 AM

*snork* BFF!

Posted by: Siouxie | January 28, 2010 at 07:51 AM

Boxers are burglary casual in Florida.
Lol @ Punkin.

Posted by: NotSherly | January 28, 2010 at 07:52 AM

He was a "transient"? Well, not very, apparently.....

Posted by: Meanie the Blue | January 28, 2010 at 07:57 AM

On a positive note, he has a very low carbon footprint for a criminal.

Posted by: Horace LaBadie | January 28, 2010 at 07:59 AM

i get a little bored with the "stupid criminal" stories sometimes - there are just so many - but every so often it occurs to me to compare the "bad day" that i'm having with the one this asshat just had... i mean that's like a bad dream, right? trying to flee the cops in a peddle boat in your underwear? what happened next? did santa claus show up and start reviewing his quiz scores from 5th grade? i mean that is so random omg lol bbq fail.

Posted by: mudstuffin | January 28, 2010 at 08:04 AM

As Siouxie forgot to say...Brilliant!

Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | January 28, 2010 at 08:05 AM

And ... "the boat appeared to be taking on water", Mud.

Posted by: NotSherly | January 28, 2010 at 08:08 AM

I guess it all started when he forgot his locker combination.

Posted by: Horace LaBadie | January 28, 2010 at 08:20 AM

There was one guy who tried to use his scuba gear to hide at the local town pool. Wisely, the police decided to wait until the underwater specialists arrived before pursuing him. When the underwater specialists got there, they just waited on the side in case the perp had trouble.

"He only has so much air," the officers said as they caught some sun while waiting.

Posted by: Not My Usual Alias | January 28, 2010 at 08:40 AM

Wasn't this caper in a Carl Hiaasen book?

Posted by: snif | January 28, 2010 at 09:23 AM

Using a helicopter to chase a pedal boat is asymmetric warfare. Were the cops trying to justify their aviation budget?

All they had to do was call the U.S. Navy and report a case of piracy. A few missiles would have been sufficient.

Posted by: Ralph | January 28, 2010 at 09:32 AM

I think a lot of these guys are trying a strategy of "Get the cops laughing so hard they can't chase us."

Don't believe I've ever seen it work...

Posted by: padraig | January 28, 2010 at 09:51 AM

A criminal masteRRmind on a boat, eh?

Arrrr1rh, matey!