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January 29, 2010


(Thanks to trustf8)


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So she's tooting her own horn, so what?

Just makes her more endearing.

"How Jessica Defrosts her Jeans"

Now we know why Tony Romo broke up with her!

You are the wind beneath my jeans

"But in either case I am quickly going to feign surprise and perhaps a slightly accusing stare in someone else’s direction, thank you very much."

Does that report remind anyone of a scene in "Spies Like Us?"

Poor girl. Can't get a break.


This is why I keep my dog - and a flock of geese - with me at all times.

good thinking, punkin. frogs also help in a pinch.

"These situations do tend to go in one of two ways. Someone bursts out laughing... or no one knows what the heck to do or say..."

or you could say (top ten):

"happy new year!"

"whew! holy mother of god! that hurt!"

"who ordered the anchovy?"

"someone answer the phone, some ass is calling"

"here, here! well spoken bruce!"

"and they're off!"

"boom! boom! shake the room!"

"count it!"

"your turn"

"punkin did it!"

I fart in your general direction.

Got a croaker in your pocket?

Jeans, jeans
They're good for your arse
This just shows
Ms. Simpson's from Mars

My bot is a perve: "The category of erotic/sex has been blocked by your administrator."

If farting chicks do it for you . . . well, there MIGHT be something wrong with that.

Yah, "hotmamagossip" slightly was blocked for me too. But the news was on Stephanie Miller.

(and just how did tf8 find this?)

Well, that blows my image of her gentility to the four winds.

Well heck, it’s best to do it again, complementing what has been done with something of a different tone. For example, if first it was a woofer, then follow up with a tweeter. That way people will say “How did you DO that?” and it will be possible to conduct a seminar right there on the spot. But avoid the silent, strong, killer type. Those tend to cause dissension and agression, and bypass heartiness etc. Once at a friends house, I got knocked sideways by such odiferousness that I almost retched. Turned out it was their Basset Hund who had been frolicking in the local dump and came home to gloat. Needless to say, there was no topping that, and the evening ended soon after.

Forgive me but I posted to the wrong spot, and being lazy just copied it over here. I don't think those folks at Hot Momma can understand Dave Barry, being esoterically challenged probably.

Barking Spiders.

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