THE YEAR IN REVIEW

It was worse than you thought.

Comments

[Bjdeming]

Worse than I thought - no way! It's ending with a wonderful belly laug....

(the rest of this post has been hijacked by Somali pirates).

[Afkat]

Dave...yet another humour (hey I'm Canadian) journalistic triumph.

I would normally plan to send you an invoice for the keyboard that was partially destroyed when I spurted coffee on it reading your hilarious article, but I realize you may need the funding for your next Pulitzer campaign, for which you richly deserve.

Thanks for really, really making my day

[Mike]

Simply awesome.

[Punkin]

Thanks for reminding me what a crap year it was, Dave - and what a fantastic writer you are. Happy New Year!

[Not My Usual Alias]

I'm still waiting for Tinkerbell to make an appearance in the annual write-up, possibly as the next Secretary of the Treasury.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Timothy Geitner.

Bwahahahahahahah!

Good one, Dave.

[EB]

BRAVO!

EB

[PeterM]

I'm half way through -- saving the rest for tonight -- and my belly is shaking like a bowlful of jelly. And not from what I ate last night either. Very perceptive political analysis, which is WHY DAVE SHOULD RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

[trustf8]

*Thanks* Dave

*SMACKS* 2009

[Coconuts]

once again------brilliant

(typing w/one hand...arm in cast/don't try to answer cell phone whilst riding bike)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

[Siouxie]

Dave, you have outdone yourself! BRILLIANT!!!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Golly, Dave, you're good. Ever consider writing all the time? Before Blago decides to become a syndicated humor columnist?

[NotSherly]

Best satirical year-in-review since 2008!
Loved it!

[Tash]

Annie - eewwwwww, brain bleach!!!! No, can't happen, Blogo has gone over to the ferrets. Sigh, Dave, let's donate 2009 to North Korea. I didn't even want to read it first, but the laughs were worth it. For me, more of the bad stuff was out "there", and I had a better year in "here."

Course, meeting Dave and Ridley was the highlight of my year! Underwear included.

[Flying Manatee]

I don't know why, but my eyes get full of tears when I laugh hard. I had to replace the box of tissue by the computer so I could finish reading this. Best ever, Dave!

[KJP]

Forget Christmas presents, the real thing to be excited over at year's end is the Dave Barry Year in Review column. Never fails.

[Siouxie]

I shared on Facebook. Lots of DB crazed fanatics enthusiasts there.

[Horace LaBadie]

Angelina Jolie is way over-priced.

In good news for 2009, we inherited Dave Barry from the Bush Administration.

[wiredog]

A lot more people were tweeting.

That's because of the new rice and beans diet.

[queensbee]

and it proves that you really cant make stuff up.
you da best, dave!! and i live in Albany, where you really cant make up the stuff our legislature did this year. frankly, i wish they'd all taken a hike on the appalachian trail.
Splendid writing!

[CJrun]

Actual beer in the nose transpired when I read, ". . . Gibbs explains that the ``vast majority'' of the wee-wee was inherited from the Bush administration."

Go Jags (down by 28)! Beat the Punkin' Patriots!

[Meanie the Blue, NOT an elected official in NJ]

Tip o' the hat to Dave for an outstanding year-end review, in a year that offered record quantities of lampoonworthy events.

Still the best!

[magicgirlfriend]

That was genius quality introspection. January alone raises the question, Dave's brain preserved for tax payer funded study possibilities?

http://img130.imageshack.us/img130/5104/nobel.jpg

[Suzy Q]

The best line was the one about how the swine flu virus was created by the makers of Purell. That's comedy gold, right there.

[Just Ducky]

Absolutely outstanding, Dave. Thanks for being the brightest part of 2009.

[CJrun]

Suzy, the true beauty in that is that Purell is anti-bacterial, and useless against a virus like the flu. I was sicky this week and found a Lysol wipy product that is anti-viral, but was amused to read Lileks patting himself on the back for avoiding illness by using a product that, basically, prevents cheese. Headline:

Purell kills Bleau Cheese, Causes Millions To Dip Wings in Ranch Dressing

MMMmmmmm, wings. It's too dang cold outside, so I may have to drag the deep fryer inside and make sum wangs.

[Jeannie]

Great column Dave! Ever thought of writing a book?

[nursecindy]

You can't make this stuff up but you sure can make it more bearable Dave. Great article as usual but it makes me realize how much I miss your regular columns. Thank goodness for this blog!

[insomniac]

should auld acquiantance be forgot
in a year that rates a 'fail'?
here's to next year; may we 'hike' a lot
'the appalachian trail'!

[Steve Haller]

OT (though it does look ahead to next year)

Some words of advice for Jack Bauer

/OT

[Loudmouth]

Ditto cindy. Couldn't make it up. It's been a fertile year. Lots of manure. Tax dodger running the IRS, Congressmen and Senators voting on things they never intended to read if they could, Joe Biden, reality show auditions in Colorado and the White House. I'm going hiking next year, the Appalachian Trail is only 20 miles from here. Don't tell Mrs. Mouth. Just have to avoid Rob Blagoyevich.

[Loudmouth]

Oh, yeah, Dave. Your Nobel prize is in the mail to be delivered Monday, Wednesday or Friday to save money.

[queensbee]

hey - the tiger wood story, and the crap about the parents of the quints - the ones getting a divorce - whoever they are - that alone you couldnt make up.
you may have left out tom delay. i was laughing too hard to remember what i read.

[O the U(manity)]

Tnx, muchly, Dave (judi, Walter, Mrs. Dave and Sophie, and all the folks here on the blog) for once again remindin' me of how much fun it is to view the world with a high degree of realisiticalness, instead of how the "mainstream media" doofuses (doofusi?) would have us believe stuff happens ...

[Theresa]

Dave your recap is too funny.

[Ralph]

Here's what I have to report for exciting events in my life for 2009:

January: Not much.
February: Not much.
March: Not much.
April: Not much.
May: Not much.
June, July, August, September, October, November, December: More of the same.

Fortunately, Dave put all this in perspective! Thanks!

[Cat R]

Oh, how we needed to laugh at the close of this sucky, yucky year. Dave, don't ever stop writing. I loved the video as well. (Dead body? Nope - just a shark - whew!)

I pray to God that newspapers survive, somehow; I just can't envision a world without Dave's Year in Review.

[Mr Death]

Me, I had a good year. Three main events happened:

1. Through a combination of human and pharmaceutical support, I am now in a mental state where I am capable of holding down a job.
2. I got a job (that I love doing).
3. I read Dave Barry's Year In Review.

Now I'm ready for 2010. Best of the season, gang!

[Nate]

Hey, us here in Pittsburgh didn't want the G20 here either. It was such a PITA, and what do we get from it? A snarky comment in the Year in Review.

Hey Dave, how many super bowl trophies do the Dolphins have? ;-)

[Suzy Q]

Do I smell wings?

[Kristina L.]

Great column! I wish Dave Barry wrote more often! But it's worth the wait.

[padraig]

Wow, and this was BEFORE the terrorist tried to blow up Detroit with his support hose.

This bears repeating: someone tried to terrorize us by almost blowing up Detroit. It just shows how distorted their view of America really is. "I burn all the Cadillacs and Escalades! America will crumble!" I want to somehow convince these people that Glenn Beck is the heart and soul of America.

[Kristina L.]

I love this bit from Dave's year in review "On the environmental front, Copenhagen hosts a massive international conference aimed at halting manmade global warming, attended by thousands of delegates who flew to Denmark on magical carbon-free unicorns."

Padraig,

I think someone needs to broadcast to the terrorists who actually go out and do this that this terrorist got severe burns on his groin area. Hard to deal with those legendary virgins when that happens.

It's also interesting that the top terrorist leaders never actually go out and suicide bomb themselves. If they think this is so great, why don't they do it? Hypocrites.

[Just Ducky]

Didn't Magical Carbon-Free Unicorns open for the Moody Blues?

Kristina, exactly.

[nursecindy]

I hope the terrorists have got it wrong and meet up with legendary Virginians. Preferably the ones that wrote the Constitution.
I will say as far as the second incident that occurred today, I would hate to be in the airplane bathroom for a extended length of time because of a bad burrito and have FBI agents banging on the door with guns drawn yelling for me to get out.

[nursecindy]

o/t but I need some sound blog advice.
My Priest wrote me a nice Christmas email in which he said, " I'm glad to hear your doing well after your surgery."
What would Mr. Language Person do?
o/t

[Cat R]

nursecindy,

Send back a note that says,

"Thank you, Reverend, for your kind email. Yes, I was so thrilled with the successful outcome that I could not help but let the bells chime! Ding, dong, doing! Ding, dong, doing! I hope the noise was not too bothersome."

[nursecindy]

Cat, do you think he would realize his mistake if I wrote back, " Father thank you for your (not you're) kind email?" I have to be good. I'm also the Parish Nurse so he is also my boss.

[Cat R]

nc, unless you are absolutely certain that he is a DB blogger and would appreciate the gentle ribbing, I would not chance it. On the other hand, if he is a DB blogger, he has no excuse. Oh, and also, if our priests are reading this blog, we are all screwed in need of a good confession.

[Annie Where-but-here]

This is exactly why Jesus stuck with "thy" and "thou art."

[Meanie the Blue, NOT an elected official in NJ]

Don't do it, cindy. I'd hate to see you lose your first-class seat in the handbasket.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I would hate to be in the airplane bathroom for a extended length of time because of a bad burrito and have FBI agents banging on the door with guns drawn yelling for me to get out.

Posted by: nursecindy | December 27, 2009 at 11:25 PM

Didn't Bad Burrito open for Megade@th, cindy?

So now when I (stupidly) get on a plane in a couple of weeks (upside: it's to New orleans) I have to not only take off my shoes but make sure I don't need to use the bathroom?

WTFBBQ?!

[Wes S.]

Awesome column, Dave. Should have come with a beverage warning. And what's up with the "Charles Darwin" character in the Herald's comment section?

I would hate to be in the airplane bathroom for a extended length of time because of a bad burrito and have FBI agents banging on the door with guns drawn yelling for me to get out.

nursecindy, apparently the second Nigerian arrested yesterday for causing a "disturbance" on that same flight was indeed suffering from a bad burrito. Or whatever the Nigerian equivalent is.

Myself, I've resolved that if I can't easily drive somewhere, I don't actually have to travel there. And will continue to do so until TSA finally understands that "security" is not synonomous with "passenger harassment and humiliation."

[Siouxie]

Jeff?? one word. Depends.

cindy, don't do anything to anger the priest. He may save your wretched soul from the handbasket of doom! (put in a good word for me, k??)

I'd like to send Al *Mr. Innerwebs" Gore one of them magical unicorns.

pad pad pad...Glenn's not that bad! Let's send them to Congress and start over!

[Siouxie]

Having said that. I will be praying that my oldest daughter has a safe and burrito-incident-free flight back from the frozen tundra Boston.

[Coconuts]

another reason RVing is great...no one but me and Mr. Coconuts use our bathroom. Now, if I could only get him to aim better.

(slinks back into geezerville)

[bonmot]

My ex worked at the White House for President Regan.

She tells a greats story about how Michael Jackson locked himself in the Men's in the West Wing and the Secret Service very nearly broke the door down to get him out. Apparently there's a time limit on potty breaks in the West Wing, even if you're (not your) Michael Jackson.

[twitter.com/JugglerOfGeese]

Never fails to make me smile, I miss his daily column. BTW, who is this Charles_Darwin dip-sheiss on the Herald boards. He dislikes my favorite columnists there.

[ken in sc]

This year was so rich, even Dave could not cover it all. Magic unicorns is great, but there has to be additional humor in climate gate. How about Barney Frank’s boyfriend at Fanny Mae; Chris Dodd’s “cottage” in Ireland; or Rush Limbaugh’s NFL event. There are others I just can’t remember right now.

[Layzeeboy]

Dave's review was posted on fark.com

...with an "AMUSING" tag

[bonmot]

Jeff, we want restaurant reviews from New Orleans.

[NotSoShyJan]

Thank you Dave, and thank you to all the bloglits, friends near and far.

[azred]

Dave - Drudge report linked to your review! (I loved the magic unicorns.)

[The Former 786]

Thank you, Dave. Thank you.

I will forever use "Hiking the Appalachian Trail" as a euphemism for being hijacked by Somali pirates!

Great year in review! I'm already looking forward to next years'!

[Nathan Nolan]

I hiked the Appalachian Trail with my wife last
year in August....for my birthday....Seriously!