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December 18, 2009


A Memphis attorney has admitted to biting off part of a man's nose during a confrontation at a popular Midtown restaurant.

Key Mitigating Circumstance:
And while he admitted to biting off part of Herbers' nose, Lambert says he didn't swallow it, but spit it out.

(Thanks to Mary)


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Defense lawyer: "Were you injured in the fracas?"

Victim: "No, he bit off my friggin' nose!"


Defense lawyer: "Did you actually see my client bite off the victim's nose?"

Eyewitness: "No."

Defense lawyer (asking ONNNNNE question too many): "Then how do you know he bit the nose off?"

Eyewitness: "Because I saw him spit it out!"

Without his nose he smells really bad.

Was his last name Tyson?

That attorney might be the one Elin Nordgeren wants to hire.

If I ever need a lawyer, I'm hiring that guy. So long as he has his own rest room.

Who nose the difference between 'spit' and 'swallow'?

Yes, butt did he spite his face?

A guy knows, trustf8.

Guilt plain as the nose in your lap.

Customer at next day's lunch: How is your calamari appetizer today?

Waiter: Excellent choice, sir. It's especially good today. Very fresh and tasty.

Customer: Really? You're sure it isn't that chewy frozen stuff?

Waiter: No, sir. It's snot....

He's going to need more Flo-Max.

He's not a real lawyer in my book unless he finds a way to bill the victim for a face to face meeting.

Good one CJ. Somehow the lawyer will also find a way to sue this guy.

Did no one notice the two guys in the stall together who were not using the toilet but refused to come out?

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