LEGAL PROFESSIONAL OF THE WEEK SO FAR
A Memphis attorney has admitted to biting off part of a man's nose during a confrontation at a popular Midtown restaurant.
Key Mitigating Circumstance: And while he admitted to biting off part of Herbers' nose, Lambert says he didn't swallow it, but spit it out.
(Thanks to Mary)
WITNESS NO. 1
Defense lawyer: "Were you injured in the fracas?"
Victim: "No, he bit off my friggin' nose!"
WITNESS NO. 2
Defense lawyer: "Did you actually see my client bite off the victim's nose?"
Eyewitness: "No."
Defense lawyer (asking ONNNNNE question too many): "Then how do you know he bit the nose off?"
Eyewitness: "Because I saw him spit it out!"
Posted by: bonmot | December 18, 2009 at 05:01 PM
Without his nose he smells really bad.
Posted by: SpeshulEd | December 18, 2009 at 05:04 PM
Was his last name Tyson?
Posted by: Diva | December 18, 2009 at 05:07 PM
That attorney might be the one Elin Nordgeren wants to hire.
Posted by: PeterM | December 18, 2009 at 05:07 PM
If I ever need a lawyer, I'm hiring that guy. So long as he has his own rest room.
Posted by: Steve | December 18, 2009 at 05:32 PM
Who nose the difference between 'spit' and 'swallow'?
Posted by: trustf8 | December 18, 2009 at 06:02 PM
Yes, butt did he spite his face?
Posted by: CJrun | December 18, 2009 at 06:07 PM
A guy knows, trustf8.
Posted by: Siouxie | December 18, 2009 at 08:31 PM
Guilt plain as the nose in your lap.
Posted by: Loudmouth | December 18, 2009 at 08:37 PM
Customer at next day's lunch: How is your calamari appetizer today?
Waiter: Excellent choice, sir. It's especially good today. Very fresh and tasty.
Customer: Really? You're sure it isn't that chewy frozen stuff?
Waiter: No, sir. It's snot....
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 18, 2009 at 09:00 PM
He's going to need more Flo-Max.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | December 19, 2009 at 01:41 PM
He's not a real lawyer in my book unless he finds a way to bill the victim for a face to face meeting.
Posted by: padraig | December 19, 2009 at 05:05 PM
Good one CJ. Somehow the lawyer will also find a way to sue this guy.
Posted by: nursecindy | December 19, 2009 at 06:23 PM
Did no one notice the two guys in the stall together who were not using the toilet but refused to come out?
Posted by: ken in sc | December 20, 2009 at 03:12 PM