HOLIDAY NEWS ROUNDUP

Donkeys Escape From Live Nativity Scene in Colorado

Mouse infestation closes Pa. Capitol cafeteria

Search of car turns up gift-wrapped marijuana

Seven-year-old caught ploughing in Germany

Los Alamos National Laboratory Researchers Accidentally Blow up Building with a Cannon

(Thanks to Siouxie, Jeff Meyerson, Chuck Cody and Ralph)

Comments

[Horace LaBadie]

Some other Christmas-related news, Ex-Playboy Model of the Year guilty of toilet attack. "Glover - who has made semi-naked appearances in magazines and newspapers and was dressed in a pink Santa outfit..."

[Meanie the Blue]

1) Mule train?

2) Mouse House?

3) Jolly holly?

4) In Germany, they call "Bob The Builder" "Bob Der Baumeister". This kid will be "Bob Der Plowmeister".

5) "Hold my test tube and watch this!"

[MOTW]

5) MIB: Los Alamos
quote from facilities director: "declared a management concern due to the significant facility structural damage incurred resultant of the shot." Having your building blown up is a management concern? I'm no facilities direcotr, but if a 'declaration' was warranted I'd think it would be a safety concern. Or perhaps "#@*(!%!, you blew up my building!!!"

[Jeff Meyerson]

I don't get it. The kid was doing something good! What's wrong with putting them to work early?

Sheesh.

As for the rest, I saw Mouse Infestation open for The Monkees ... or maybe the Rascals.

[Siouxie]

No Jeff. "Runaway Donkeys" opened for the Monkees. Only *I* didn't see them cuz was only a child ;-P

[Mitch]

Thank goodness the seven year old immediately admitted he didn't have a driver's license. Otherwise, the police would have a hell of a time determining his eligibility.

[EB]

Why are we still charging people with possesion of
MJ??

Make no mistake, I am opposed to it's use, having seen many people crazy from the stuff, but the sale and delivery of the stuff is out of control, and cops can only find small amounts in these busts.

Did they search the CO Nativity Donkey for it?

[Loudmouth]

1) Bet at first they thought their donkeys had been burroed
2)Explains all the sh!+ going on in the statehouse
3)Ist vas yust ein beeg Tonka
4)Angels we have heard on highs.
5)Boffins get blown (up)

Must be a short day. Everything else in one post and out to the mall, eh?

[Guin]

Los Alamos is the birthplace of the atomic bomb, and they're using weapons that are the same as a Civil War cannon? Those DoD budget cuts are hell.

[nursecindy]

I have a feeling if Dave went to the mall it was not his first choice on how to spend the day.

[EB]

(Snork) at Loudmouth.... I'm the one living near Minot AFB, try that one...

[Loudmouth]

Hey Guin. I live here near the Manassas Battlefield with Civil War cannon dotted around. We're better armed than Los Alamos.

[Annie Where-but-here]

I tried to send all of these in, but I couldn't type very well in my Japanese snuggy.

[Mad Librarian]

2) After all those years of skunks, snakes, and dirty rats in the statehouse, they're worried about a few little mice?

[Loudmouth]

cindy, cindy, bobindy, you feeling better?

[trustf8]

'Twas the day after Christmas, & in a State house
Inspectors discovered the sh!t of a mouse.
Some donkeys escaped from a snow covered manger,
While highway patrolmen averted drug danger.
A germany lad was accused of a snowjob,
While a Holiday Canon caused a huge blowjob.

So as we enjoy our fading yule log
Thanks, dave! Remember: Don't Drink & Blog.

[NotSherly]

Excellent, as always, tf8.

[Siouxie]

*snork* @ trustf8! excellent!

[nursecindy]

Much better Loudmouth. Thank you.

[Steve]

Any time there is an unexplained explosion, there are guys and, maybe, beer involved. And some woman just itching to say, "I told you so!".
Or maybe I'm just reliving the episode where I lost my left eyebrow and half of a sweater.

[CJrun]

Yeah, well Guys also do crap like this. If they don't have Boyz in the house, that do this on their own (and behave just as poorly!).

[Tash]

Brilliant t8!

[Not My Usual Alias]

I hear you Steve. When I was at a convention in Philly, I had to keep an eye out because of an unfortunate incident involving a policeman, his eyebrows and an action that needs another few months for the statute of limitiations to expire.

[Steve]

Glad to find that I'm not the only one. Thanks. By the way, the eyebrows didn't hurt nearly as much as explaining them.

[nursecindy]

I'm dying to know what Steve did to lose an eyebrow and half a sweater. I lost a shirt in high school chemistry one time after spilling what I thought was powder on it but was some kind of acid. Little holes started appearing when I tried to wash it off with water which evidently it didn't mix with very well. I got an A in chemistry that year anyway. NMUA, maybe you can tell us your story in a few months. Maybe around Easter.

[O the U(manity)]

I once drove a 1951 Volkswagen, when I wuz a mere 11-years old, and look how well I turned out ...

On second thot ... some of them statutes of limitationalism have yet to expire ... so ... mebbe not ...

[Lorrie]

I think the little German dude should go to Los Alamos and take charge. He seems like a responsible hard working type. He didn't do any damage on his little adventure now did he? The physicists can't say that.

[padraig]

"The researchers accidentally blew a building apart at Technical Area-15, on December 16, 2009 while testing a gun which acts like a Civil War cannon."

Why don't they 'fess up that they were testing their new quark-powered sub-orbital pumpkin launcher?

It's perfectly legitimate science anyway. Ya build a particle accelerator, you're gonna accelerate some kinda particles, may as well be pumpkin particles.

[padraig the cheesehead]

And btw, what's this about a 7-year-old German kid driving a snow plow? Ya see that all the time in Wisconsin. So why'd they arrest this kid, was he doing a sloppy job or something?

[O the U(manity)]

pad' ... he couldn't have done any werse than whut the ... um ... "person" runnin' the machine today did to my vehicle ... I'd spent five hours yesterday snowthrowin', and he came by today and moved the stuff from 10 feet away to bury my Bronco ... tooken another two hours to dig it out ...

I'd take the seven-year-old frum Germany any day, compared to that ...

[nursecindy]

Thank goodness I live where it doesn't snow that often. Also when it does snow here we all go buy milk and bread and settle in on the sofa watching the Weather Channel.

[padraig the cheesehead]

Hey Othe, up here when the plows have been running for 36 hours straight and they come by and plow all our driveways shut, you can't even hear the plow for the driver's maniacal laughter. I swear they don't even have to pay some of those guys.

[padraig the cheesehead]

p.s. cindy, my brother and b-i-l both moved from cheese country to northern Virginia, so when they got 25" of snow the other week they were the only two people in the state who knew how to drive.

[nursecindy]

padraig, we know how to drive in snow. We don't unless we have to. And then when we do have to drive in it we usually wreck only because we're dodging northerners that think they're the only ones that know how to drive in snow. :P

[O the U(manity)]

I sorta know whut y'all mean, pad' ... I'm suspicious that there's even more to this particular event ... as in: city employee that doesn't think the rules apply to his ownself ... plus he thinks he's got a reason to "not like" me ...

Stay tuned ... film @ 11 ... (except I dunno which day ... )

Nah, 'cindy ... the biggest problem with drivers in any snowstorm is that sum of 'em seem to think that four-wheel-drive is kinda like a magic potion that makes 'em invulnerable or infallible ...

[nursecindy]

So true O the U. They think because they're driving a big 4 wheel drive SUV they can go the speed limit. They forget there is usually ice under that snow. Also, we really don't have the equipment needed to keep the roads clear. They'll sprinkle some slag on the roads but usually they do it after it starts snowing or getting icy. Doesn't do much good then. Speaking of freezing... Our high is only going to be 40 tomorrow and the highs will only be in the 20's later this week. What happened to the 'Sunny South'? Siouxie will also freeze. It's only going to be in the upper 60's in Miami.

[padraig the cheesehead]

cindy, jealousy is such an ugly emotion...

[padraig the cheesehead]

p.s. if you encounter any northerners as snotty as me about how well we deal with snow, get 'em to show you how fast they can shovel your sidewalk.

[nursecindy]

padraig I was married to a Michigander for 15 years and that didn't work on him. btw, he is the ONLY person I know that wrecked in the last snowfall. As far as shoveling the sidewalk, I usually sprinkle clean kitty litter on it. Then I wait a day or two and it melts. Have you tried that in Wisconsin?

[padraig]

cindy, we have used kitty litter, salt (table, rock, water conditioner, and kosher varieties), sand, beet juice (honest), dog pee (works well in small areas), and God knows what else.

The snow melts by you because at some point it gets above freezing, or that big yellow sky demon comes out of its cave behind the moon. Hasn't happened here yet this month.

[bonmot]

It's nice to live in the DEEP South, where we don't have to test our frosticles.

[bonmot]

Having now read some of the stories, I can say safely that neither the Boffins at Los Alamos, nor the folks at POGO rite to gud.

[Mazarlarry]

What? No comments yet about outlawing manger scenes?

[Ralph]

For those of you basking in above-freezing temperatures, be warned: when Greenland melts, start furnishing your igloos: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1227990/Ice-Age-took-just-SIX-months-arrive--10-years.html

[Ralph]

Oops; Linky.