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October 28, 2009


Ridley and I have turned in the Swordmobile (for now -- we'll rejoin it on the West Coast) and are now heading by air for Chicago -- or, if the pilots become distracted, some indeterminate point several hundred miles past Chicago. Right now we're in Dulles airport, where I learned that some TSA personnel do not find it riotously funny when you make a small, totally non-threatening, self-deprecating joke about why you have a pirate hat in your luggage.


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At least it's not a coconut bra this time!

OK, everyone! It's game time! Let's see if we can guess the "small, totally non-threatening, self-deprecating joke about why you have a pirate hat in your luggage."

Maybe you'll come up with one that's better than Dave's.

"Whaddayamean you don't believe I'm Somalian?!"

I just want to know how they would react to the other kind of joke.

"Aren't you glad I left my hook at home?"

"It makes me miss my parrot a little less."

"It's a souvenir from Somalia."

"I was gonna put it on when they told us to Prepare to Board"

"That color doesn't go with the peg-leg I have on."

"I was hoping Pittsburgh would make it to the Series."

"I'm a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist on a book tour promoting a children's book that features pirates and this is a prop. Full cavity what? I just came from the dentist and he said everything was... WHOA!"

"I can't wait ta barrrrrrrrrrrghd the plane!"

Well Dave be glad that you won't have to have a colonoscopy this year as I'm sure that was covered by your body cavity search after your remark.

"Ridley msut have put it there."

"Do ya WANT a little pirate in ya?!"

"Because I couldn't fit it into a resealable one-quart plastic bag."

Because I work for the IRS.

"So where, exactly, do you stow the plank?"

Total *SNORK* at #3, Lairbo!

Careful, Dave & Ridley. I hear there are a lot of crazies in Chicago.

"What's your destination today, sir?"


Psssst. It wasn't the pirate hat in your luggage that bothered them, Dave. It was the pirate hat and the sword.

it probably didn't help when you and ridley burst into riotous hissing semi-smothered laughter at the guy's reaction, sir.

"You should see the matching sword, cudgel, grappling hook, flintlock and knife hidden in the shoe bags."

"Go shiver your own damn timbers."

"Pull my finger, matey."

"None of your d@mn business, landlubber! This is still a free country, you know. What? Come into the next room and take my clothes off? Not on the first date."

Perhaps greeting the stewardess with "Yo, Ho!" was not the best idea

Siouxie --
We're not crazy... we're just rabid fans.

"Me mates in Somalia favorrr the waterrr.
Me, I likes the airrrrrr."

Simple explanation. "We're going to Disneyland!"

"My wife thought that I was commandeering a cruise liner instead of an airliner."

"Jihadi Fashion Monthly says no white eye patches after Labor Day."

"They don't call me Long Dave for nothing, if you know what I mean."

"My ski mask is in the laundry."

"The hat is in my luggage because the severed head from which I took it wasn't smelling too keen."

"I didn't want anyone to recognize me, so I'm just wearing this blue shirt."

"I'll let you check my baggage if you let me check yours."

"The hat means nothing to me, but this penguin thong is starting to itch."

Should your (not You're) plane overshoot by a little more than considerable amount, have the pilots put down in Kalispell, Mt. I'll buy you guys dinner and drinks. I bet it might be more relaxing

"I have a pirate hat in my luggage and a song in my heart."

"Damn, the pirate escaped."

Actually we are a bit crazy...but just a bit

You guys are the coolest and hope your travels are comfortable for this tour - even though, no Atlanta stop...little grandkid got a good report card today - guess what reward she wanted: "Grammaw, let's go to the bookstore and get Science Fair!" By the time we got home she was in chapter 4. She said, "The thing about Dave Barry is you can't quit reading his books." I kept hearing snorts of laughs from the back seat. When kids find out how much fun they can get from reading...! Nothing makes a grammaw happier. Thank you, my author-lads, from the olde and young.

marina: nice review.

Aw Dave, sorry 'bout your orifice then.

'The rest of him is in Ridley's luggage.'

"You should see the cutlass in my pants -- IN MY PANTS!"

Enjoy your stay in Gitmo. The weather there at this time of year is almost tolerable.

"Does this hat make my butt look big??"

NMUA I would NEVER imply that anyone from this here blog is craaaaaazy.

psssssssst...Dave? Ridley?? hope you got your shots Nope...never.

"This hat? The Coast Guard gave it back to me after they searched the boat."

Plastic swords are still prohibited. Whew, all I've got is a real one.

Arrgh. Get your ship together, mateys.

Forgive me for hijackin' the thread, but Sioux said it was ok. Blame her.

A couple years ago, several bloggers sent me costume pictures. I don't want to re-post them without permission of the bloggers, except for Walter.

So we'll start again: Here.

If you wish to give me permission to re-post yours, I'll do so. If you're newer, and/or have a new photo to send, I'm not that hard to find. If you can't find me, ask. We'll get you some help.


Wyo, I believe Walter has put on a little weight since that picture. And you're still cute even when half dead/living. Great pictures. I'd like to see some more.

*SNORK* at "Prepare to Board"!

"I have a connecting flight in Mogadishu."

"It's where I keep my bottle of rum."

LOL hah! I remember those! I wanna see more too!

Cindy, send Wyo one of you in a costume. We had a guessing game that year LOL

I think I sent you a costume pic, Wyoooooooooo.

If not, then, please use this.

I've got that one, Meanie... I'll re post. Though I think now people will guess who you are. That's ok, they got me an' Walter already. (and what are the chances they won't recognize Sioux?)

shhhhhhh Meanie! you're not supposed to say it's you!! and that's the one I remember that you sent.

I'll have to find a picture of me in a costume. When I do I'll sent it to you Wyo.

btw, nice picture Dr. Meanie the Blue.

Pffffffft! sheesh...

Chicago is READY for ya! Got our costumes, got our signs, and we're making sure NO ONE in Chicago will laugh at your hat, parrot, eye patch or hook, 'coz half of us have them all year anyway. Plus, if your pilots miss the airport there are plenty of corn fields that would be honored to have you land in them, blazing or not. WELCOME, and embrace your inner squirrel.

Nuts to you, Bernard.

And the countdown begins...

Chicago, already? doh! I'm taking care of a house full of family with the flu. I'd love to be up there, but I need to make sure everyone here is OK. Besides, the last thing you need is to pick up flu germs.

Steve, did you see the 24 preview during the World Series game last night? Chloe!

Since I didn't see any big headlines about Dave being in the hoosegow I'm assuming he talked his way out of the little contretemps with the TSA (which WBAGNFA Mickey Rourke movie).

Okay Naperville contingent, your turn.
We're flush with excitement to see what you've been up to.
to what you've been up.
up to what you've been.

From what I gather, NS, I expect costumes, rum, dancing, fireworks, rum, keelhaulings, shanghaiing, damsel distressing, and possibly a bit of rum.

I wanna know about the swordmobile! Is this like Obama's limo - they transport it under heavy guard on a C-17?


I didn't see it last night, but Andy and another friend of mine sent it to me this morning.

That little girl is probably the only person in the world that could call Jack Grandpa, and not get shot!

Can't wait!

Steve, it would depend on the mood that Jack is in. I don't think I'd ask him to babysit. Hope the family is feeling better. We are getting over the flu here also. It is not a fun experience.

Steve, it would depend on the mood that Jack is in. I don't think I'd ask him to babysit. Hope the family is feeling better. We are getting over the flu here also. It is not a fun experience.

*KICKS* bot for posting comment twice.

OWWWWWW! Right in the motherboard.

Serves you right, bot.

¡pıp noʎ ʇɐɥʍ ʞoo1 'ʍou


ahh...it's been a while...

I just don't understand Siouxie's fascination with the number 69. It's just a number. What could be the meaning behind....oh wait. Never mind. *KICKS* bot to upright it.

late to the (departure)gate again:

"don't you recognize us without our make-up?, i'm orlando bloom, and this is johnny depp!"

They're going to have to inspect your "booty".

Liveblogging the new season of 24 the Ridley and Dave Show.

I saw, dances!! Great costumes! Did Dave try to hurt anyone of you or run away screaming like a little girl??? LOL

Yes! Yes he did! ;-)

Isn't Judi's name spelled with an 'i'? Great pictures. Again, wish I had been there. Everybody looks great.

Excellent, dances! Dave, Ridley & the Squirrels beats the daylights out of Alvin & the Chipmunks!

Nmua, Cat, dances, et al, you are the cutest, furriest, funest bloglits! What a great idea.
You make us all wish we were there. Thanks for the photos. What a fun group in the midwest.

*reconsiders stance toward squirrels*

Wow, and Dave said I was nuts the first time we met!

Good job, guys (except for the "Judy" thing).

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