AUDIO STRUMPDATE NOW
(Note: Dave and Ridley should be on at 2ish, eastern)
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October 31, 2009
STRUMPDATE
Ridley and I had a fine event last night with Eoin Colfer in Seattle and are now on our way to California, a large nearby state. This afternoon at 2:30 we'll be at Copperfield's Books in Petaluma Petaluma Petaluma, because we enjoy saying "Petaluma." Then we'll go to San Francisco, which on Halloween is even weirder than usual. Our costume is "sleep-deprived authors with no clean underwear." So beware.
October 30, 2009
SEATTLE UPDATE
Famous writer and Irish person Eoin Colfer reacts to the sheer pulsating manliness of the Swordmobile.
GIMME ALL YOUR CHICKEN SOUP
(Thanks to DavCat)
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION OF PREVIOUS POST
(Clockwise from top left: Cat R., Bernard Scooper, Not My Usual Alias, Scrat R., Snap R., Dances.With.Vowels, Ridley, and Dave.)
BLOGKEEPING NOTE FROM THE S.B.: Not to seem ungrateful or anything, but can ya'll please shrink your photos a bit before you send 'em in? It's a shame to delete such dorky fine shots, but there's just not room in the mailbox for so many multi-MB photos.
STRUMPDATE
Having appeared personally in every elementary and middle school in the greater eleven-state Chicago area, Ridley and I are now at O'Hare International Airport Hell, preparing to take our Tour-A-Palooza to Seattle, where among other events we'll appear at a (Surprise!) bookstore. We had a fine event last night at Anderson's in Naperville; a number of blog people showed up dressed as squirrels. This made the bookstore people a little nervous, but we assured them that the squirrel people were probably harmless, although just in case they should have tranquilizer darts handy.
Ridley and I are in good shape, although Ridley's suitcase broke, possibly because the airport-security people are extremely suspicious of him (not that I blame them) and keep rummaging through his suitcase, which makes him CRAZY, as he is a very Neat Packer. This morning a TSA personnel was rummaging around in there and found that Ridley was carrying approximately eight packets of Sword of Mercy bookmarks, which we've been giving out to kids at school events. The personnel was quite concerned about these. He kept asking Ridley about them, and Ridley kept saying, quote, "They're bookmarks." If you looked closely, you could actually see the steam shooting from his ears. But I, for one, applaud the TSA personnel. God knows what could happen if bookmarks got onto an airplane.
Anyway, we're on to Seattle, where we will pick up the West Coast Swordmobile. So if you live out that way, watch out.
October 29, 2009
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT
Well, no, you definitely don't want a traffic ticket on your record, but...
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
HE DIDN'T GET FAR ON...
(Thanks to MartiniShark, unless this has been blogged before)
...OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE ME?
(Thanks to Jason Ulrich, Anthony C., and Jeff Kleinman)
October 28, 2009
STRUMPDATE
Ridley and I have turned in the Swordmobile (for now -- we'll rejoin it on the West Coast) and are now heading by air for Chicago -- or, if the pilots become distracted, some indeterminate point several hundred miles past Chicago. Right now we're in Dulles airport, where I learned that some TSA personnel do not find it riotously funny when you make a small, totally non-threatening, self-deprecating joke about why you have a pirate hat in your luggage.
HAVERSTRAW CRIME ALERT
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
DC STRUMPDATE
It's LEETIE! Cardboard-free.
WHOOPSIE!
(Thanks to my son)
S. CAROLINA DRIVERS: MORE FUN THAN FLORIDA DRIVERS
MIAMI TRAFFIC
This explains a lot.
(Taken today by Andy the Tropichunt.com guy)
CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS OF THE DAY
And a definite possibility for Halloween.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
October 27, 2009
WEST CHESTER STRUMPDATE
Ridley, sthnbelle, son of sthnbelle, and The Blog
(Ridley, Tinker Bell and Dave)
WHEW!
HAS ANYONE SEEN THE HEENE CHILDREN LATELY?
(Thanks to Rick Chandler)
WE DO NOT WANT TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL
So we are not planning to blog this item any time in the foreseeable future.
(Thanks anyway to Raymond W.)
October 26, 2009
NO POINT IN OVERREACTING
"It would be sensible not to swim in that area for a little while."
(Thanks to CJrun)
LAWSUIT OF THE MONTH THAT MEN SHOULD NOT READ ABOUT
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
UPDATE: Here's the original news item
MEANWHILE, LUCY AND HER CHICKEN WAIT PATIENTLY FOR DADDY TO RETURN
NJ STRUMPDATE
Bestselling crime author and New Jersey resident Harlan Coben admires the Swordmobile.
STRUMPDATE
Today we're in New Jersey, where we discovered that the Swordmobile has a Caliifornia license plate. Also, Mr. Control Freak won't let me drive.
October 25, 2009
STRUMPDATE
(Thanks to Mel of the message board)
PHOTO STRUMPDATE
The Blog, The Swordmobile, and Family The Blue
A car so scary, it might actually make it through NYC traffic.
(Thanks to Meanie the Blue for the photo of the Blue Daughter)
STRUMPDATE
Ridley and I are in New York City ("The Big Scarf") to begin our nationwide juggernaut tour strumpeting for our new Starcatchers book, Peter and the Sword of Mercy, available at bookstores everywhere including Mars. For part of the tour we'll be driving our own selves in a special Swordmobile, so we are very excited, in the sense of terrified, because this means we have to drive in New York City, where on most streets it is against the law to move in any direction, or stop. Nevertheless we plan to have fun, and we will be posting video updates. We hope to see some of you folks out there on the road. If we do, please get out of the way, as we may not have total control of the Swordmobile.
October 24, 2009
VIOLENT DOG UPRISING AGAINST HUMANITY UPDATE
ADVISORY TO PARTYERS IN COUNTY CLARE
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Matt Filar)
AS LONG AS IT CONTAINS NO MORE THAN 3 OUNCES OF LIQUID, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
A Bulgarian man is caught smuggling a chihuahua.
(Thanks to Catherine and DavCat)
"Smuggling a chihuahua" sounds like slang for something really obscene.
CUBICLE WARS
Troy police said a 58-year-old staffer at an AT&T customer service center was eating a garlicky salad at his desk Oct. 13 when he heard the 53-year-old man in the cubicle next to his grumbling about the smell.The salad eater, from Birmingham, Mich., looked up just as an aerosol can rose over the cubicle divider, and he was sprayed in the eyes with disinfectant.
We can picture judi doing this.
(Thanks to DavCat)
ATTENTION, JOBSEEKERS
They're holding "open auditions."
(Thanks to Elissa)
GOOD DOG
(Thanks to catmanmax)
ART UPDATE
Behold the toilet waterfall.
(Thanks to DavCat)
WE NEED A TANKER OF MELTED BUTTER STAT
I-64 shut down after truck spills live crabs on highway
(Thanks to DavCat)
ATTENTION, MEN OF MASCULINE MANLINESS:
You need this.
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
THEY SHOULD HAVE USED SQUIRRELS
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and catmanmax, who suggests dead-lawyer throwing)
GUMBALL, ANYONE?
(Thanks to James, who observes, "Just in time for Halloween!")
October 23, 2009
ATTENTION, AIR FORCE ACRONYM-MONITORING PERSONNEL
(Thanks to Patrick)
REST EASY, GLASGOW
Pink thong fetish flasher jailed
(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)
CSI: CLEVELAND
Man robbed of money and chicken
(Thanks to collins69s)
R.I.P., SOUPY SALES
The man was funny.
Update: Here's a great moment in TV history, when Soupy answered the door and saw something generally not associated with children's TV. In the last NSFW segment of this video, you can see what Soupy saw, but his viewing audience did not.
(Thanks to Jeff Spots)
SEND HIM TO WASHINGTON
(Thanks to Ralph)
FUN COUPLE
Sicilian prefers prison to house arrest with wife
(Thanks to nursecindy)
AUTOMOTIVE ADVANCE OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Mitsubishi's fart-fighting crossover
(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)
We saw The Fart-Fighting Crossovers open for Springsteen.
Update: They need this car in Wellington.
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
'WE'RE BEGINNING OUR DESCENT INTO MINNEAP... NO, WAIT, THAT LOOKS LIKE CHICAGO.'
(Thanks to nursecindy and Jeff Meyerson)