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September 29, 2009


I'm going to be busy for the next week or so, because -- to name one item on the agenda -- my son is getting married. I'm very happy about this, because he's marrying a wonderful woman. But still, my son is getting married. And he is six years old.

In my mind, anyway. You parents know how it is. In fact he's a grown man, and a fine one, too. But my point is, blogging from me will be sporadic. I hope you folks can get through this difficult period. If not, you definitely need to increase those dosages.


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That stuff in the blue bottle is good for Sporadic.

Marrying his teacher should definitely help him get through to the second grade.

Whooo-Hooo!!!! Congrats to your son and his bride, Dave! Of course, that means judi will be posting a bunch of items involving half-naked men and kilts on the blog for the next week or so, but I'll check back in when you get back...

Mazel Tov, Dave. I'm sure the Barry doesn't fall far from the tree.

Congratulations to all. Dave you should totally rent the Oscar Meyer Weiner mobile to take you and Mrs. Blog to and from the wedding.

congrats, robby! :)


Congrats to the whole Barry family.

The Weinermobile was exactly my first thought too. Wouldn't it be cool to see it pull up to the reception?

Congratulations to Rob and both families!! Have a great wedding and a wonderful life ;-)

Jeff, we would probably think it would be cool but Dave's son and new bride may think otherwise. I hope everyone realizes what this could mean. Dave might be a Grandfather in the next year or so! Many happy wishes to the entire Barry family. May your joys be many and your troubles be few. (Judi I'll go through my archives and send some good kilt pictures for the next week or so.)


Mazel Tov!

p.s. ixnay on the einerMobile-way! It's an urprise-say!

Mazal tov!

Waiting, that's a brilliant idea but maybe they could hire it to take the bride and groom to their honeymoon suite instead. ;-)

He's not six. He's five.

Very cool. Congratulations to the happy couple. Have fun at the reception!

If Dave does the 'Moon Walk' at the reception Judi better post a video of it.

LOL, Cat!!! So, who took the video at Monsterville Horton III's wedding reception?

NOOOO! I remember reading about Rob, and Zippy, and Earnest, and they were young! That was, like, last year! Wasn't it? I am very very old.

Yea, Rob! We're hoping in a year or two that we can call your father "Old Grandad!"

The Blog Bar is open!

Dave Barry, We are honored and grateful that you have almost invited us to your son 's wedding... on the day of your son's wedding. And I hope their first child will be a masculine child. We here pledge our never-ending loyalty. And bacon.

Well, it's kind of short notice, but my calendar is clear.

What do you think, Dave - toaster or clock radio?

(Hearty and sincere congratulations to Rob and his betrothed!)

The question is will Dave have a Blue Tuxedo for the event?

Congrats to both clans. Have a great day, Weinermobile or no Weinermobile.

Does anyone else wonder whatever happened to Earnest and Emergency Backup Dog Zippy? Dave, when you get back from the celebrationing, I think you should write a Dog Column.


will the r.b.r s be at the reception?

*SNORKS!!!!* at Brian! (Even if nobody else got it...)

Awww, how sweet and wonderful. I hope the bride has not heard about the last birthday cake for Rob....or has a great sense of humor.

*snorks* at Brian...

Sporadic is it? I believe beer is indicated for that. Thankfully.



Great minds, huh.......
; )


Congrats and Best Wishes to Rob and the New Mrs. Barry!

Mawwage. Mawwage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawwage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...

Congratulations and bwessings blessings on Rob and his intended!

So let me get this straight, this girl gets you as a father-in-law. Does she KNOW you?

And Dave has to sing "Brown Eyed Girl" IN the weinermobile. Just like old times, eh Rob?



And have you told her about the dysfunctional extended family (bloglets)?

Grats! ...and that short, short step to becoming a grandparent doesn't hurt--much.

I resemble that remark Jazzzz. Does this mean we'll be bloglets-in-law?

Yes it does, we are all the crazy one at the family picnic

Much love. Much joy. Many prayers. HIDE THE VIDEO CAMERA.

While your at it take a week off.

dave, if you're around, this one's for you

i flew once too

observe their splendor
their hang time
nudge them upright
and pad the walls
lest they break or sprain
hurtling like missiles
stones from a sling yet
lighter than cedar
light a candle
when they retire
sort out the morrow
in providence' sight
illuminated by
humility's rainbow
comforted by
his measured hand

That was beautiful mud.

Is Sophie going to be a bridesmaid?
Will there be stephanotis and peau de soie involved?
Will you be tying empty Spam cans to the Wienermobile (or is that a crime against nature?)
Above all, did the bride purchase and lug around the required tonnage of 'your most special day' bridal magazines for so many months that she's developed a permanent curvature of the spine? Cuz if she didn't, I'm not sure the wedding is legal.

In any event, CONGRATULATIONS to Rob and the whole Barry clan, and many years of happiness and *snorks* to all!

Wouldn't it be cool if something weird happened at the reception, like a car driven by an elderly man with a Florida's drivers' license, a combover, and a limp landed in the pool, or a posse of anxious badgers chased a flock of escaped poultry across the dance floor during the chicken dance, and the whole thing ended up in the newspaper, and Siouxie sent the story in to the blog, and it got posted?

That would be cool. And surreal.

Congrats, Rob & family. We all chipped in and got you a wedding cake topper.

lol @ the wedding cake topper and the imaginary story!

you people are pretty cool

I wonder if Dave will give a toast...

I've been thinking about this sporadic blogging thing. What, in fact, does the groom's father really have to do with the build-up to the wedding, which actually starts sometime in the bride's mother's first trimester?

Aren't the minute details - right down to the vapor swirl patterns from the ice sculpture - planned, counter-planned, and re-planned by the bride and the bride's mom?

Isn't, according to tradition, all the advance heavy-duty check-writing handled by the bride's dad?

Isn't the groom's dad's role, in essence, to monitor the groom's sobriety and possible escape routes, look sharp, not trip over the photographer's equipment carrying cases, stand where the photographer tells him to every thirty eight seconds, and, at some affairs, oversee the collection of weapons at the door?

In other words, what, except on the actual night before and day of the affair, is there for the groom's dad to be sporadic about, blog-wise speaking?

As a father of two presumed future brides, who harbors no worries whatsoever about such occasions nor any resentment over the snickering and eyerolling that the putative grooms' families will get to enjoy as my life savings depletion unfolds, I'm just sayin'.

2nd trimester, Meanie. After the vomiting stops.

Seriously, I'm telling my telling my two girls to elope. I'm only trying to save them from Momzilla ;-P

I've met the bride-to-be and she definitely fits in. She's beautiful and IF the RBRs play at the reception, she can sing too! They're a sweet couple.

oh my...

-my telling

I know I should have my coffee before trying to post blog this early in the morning.

Brian, loved the Luca Bazzi bit.

And Annie: yes, it would be great, as long as squirrels aren't involved.

Speaking of surprises, wouldn't it be great if we could get a special surprise guest singer to perform?

Not Barry, I swear! You can trust me, honest.

Sorry, Brazzi.

Dave: I'm still trying to finish "Babies and other Hazards of Sex"

At my wedding, my father spent the preceding days preparing a reception speech that included all my awkward and embarrassing events from 4 to 18 years of age. If I can give any advice to Rob: KEEP THE PEN AWAY FROM DAVE (AND PAPER)

Hmmm, as I recall the duties of the Father of the Groom are to, well, drink...

Congratulations to Rob and to the future Mrs. Blog, Jr.!

Bravo Meanie.
I think the groom's father is the one who has 'The Talk' with the groom about the wedding night.
Hence, the involvement of alcohol.
Cool, Siouxie.

Very cool, Siouxie.

Meanie, in case you haven't noticed, this is man's style. He excels in expanding a single task into an extended period of puffery. Most of it is squawking about the task and building it into a dramatic event.
For example:
5.Cleaning the garage

Congraulations Robert!

Does the bride have a blog? I look forward to her blog posts:

"OMG! My father-in-law is teaching my kids about boogers!"

"My father-in-law has a sewage lifting station named after him. So there!"

"My father-in-law made the Hawley-Smoot Tariff funny!"

Congrats, Grandpa! (Might as well start getting used to it!)

Oh - and have fun with Mitch, too!

I'd sure like to discuss this with you in greater detail, Annie, but my garage is an intolerable mess, and I just can't see how I'm ever going to get it taken care of unless I devote some time to assembling those grill parts that have been spread out all over it since my realization that I don't have the special power lug adaptor for the ignition coil, which only comes with the 300-horsepower cordless master drill and foundation blasting kit.

Congratulations on the impending grandfatherhood! The nice thing about that, so I hear, is that you get to get the grandkids all hopped up on sugar, and then hand them back to Dad.

BTW, did Mrs. Blog, or any other female relatives, ever his him with the Mother's Curse (the way Siouxie and Annie I'm sure never Cursed their kids): "Someday you're gonna have kids, and they're gonna be Just. Like. You!

Hit him. Not his him. Oi. Need coffee.

Father of the Bride: "I, um, thought that when he said he would bring the Wienermobile to the wedding that it was some obscene euphemism of some kind..."

Mother of the Bride: "Oh my..."

Rob: "Sorry about this, but you see..."

Bride: "Shotgun!"

Mazel tov, Dave. Congrats to the happy couple, and best wishes to the families.

*WAVES @ Hammie!!!*

Are we all looking forward to wedding photos of Dave partaking in much drinkage?? Cuz we KNOW he'll need to for the Chicken Dance.

dog, I resemble that remark. I've been telling mine that since they were born. It's a Cuban tradition.

Congratulations Barry's!!! I hereby put in another (LLTG) vote for the Weinermobile :)

*Waves @ Siouxie!!!*


Meanie, the true role of the dad is to lecture the groom , and bride's dad, on every grill part both in and out of the garage,the proper installation method of the power lug adaptor for the ignition coil, the 300-horsepower cordless master drill and foundation blasting kit, the history and comparison ofzzzzzzzzz.........

Petition for the weinermobile!!!! The poor wedding guests need a disturbance distraction.

Why doesn't he just find a woman he hates and buy her a house?
It would save a lot of unnecessary hassle.

I wonder if the wedding guests have to complete a scavenger hunt in order to find the church.

Can't be. He was not even born when we moved away from Miami. And we have only been gone like six or thirty years.

Punkin, that would be hysterical AFTER the reception. Imagine, if you will, a bunch of drunken wedding guests trying to decipher clues that will lead them to their cars or hotels.

Congratulations to all.

Ya gotta love a good nut-cuttin'. Just remember to eat and drink at least as much as you spent on the wedding gift, and you'll be guaranteed to have a good time.


All the usual congratulatory remarks.

Also, would this make Dave the Blog-in-Law and potential Grandblog?

congrats!!!!!! i might be sporadic too ... the geniuses here are putting some additional tracking and blocking software on our system. who knows if i will be able to get thru!

Congratulations Rob, soon-to-be Mrs. Rob, and the happy families!

Aww, Dave, that's awesome! Congratulations to Rob and his bride! And we want LOTS of photos. Especially of the chicken dance.

OMG we almost forgot the lawnmowers! We expect the lawnmower brigade to escort various wedding attendees up the aisle. Or down the aisle, in various formations.

OMG we almost forgot the lawnmowers! We expect the lawnmower brigade to escort various wedding attendees up the aisle. Or down the aisle, in various formations.

Is there a section at the church for the peanut gallery Dave Barry stalkers crazies loyal bloglits??

dang bot.


At the reception, might alcohol be involved?

What about at the ceremony??

If there's any food left over from the reception... especially those little chicken liver thingies...just remember who yer friends are.

AWBH ..... did we forget squirrels ?

Congratulations and many Best Wishes to Rob
and his soon to be Mrs. Blog Jr.!

I recently heard a civil ceremony.

The judge mught have said, "Do you take this woman to be your wife until death are you parted?"

But I THOUGHT he said, "Do you take this woman to be your wife until death are you pardoned?"

Jazzzie, my link had a creepy squirrel wedding topper...I never forget the squirrels.

Congratulations! Will the wedding pictures have squirrels?

Congratulations to all!

(Will they be serving Hurricane Barrys at the reception?)

Good god...where's the booze?

Congratulations Mr. Barry...I bet your "reception" speech is going to be one in a million...

Congratulations, Rob and soon-to-be Mrs. Rob!

Congrats to all involved! And you can interpret "involved" in any way you choose.

Does this mean that we're going to be bloglits-in-law?

I recommend that Dave wait until AFTER the ceremony to tell Mrs. Rob-to-be that we come as a package deal with the family.

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