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We're home from Idaho, and in addition to encountering a stack of bills the height of Sylvester Stallone, we were reunited with our dog, Lucy, who was at Dog Camp, where she managed to injure her tail just by wagging it really hard. She has Hard Wagging Syndrome (HWS). She has wagged the tip of her tail into a pulp, and happily leaves little random smears of blood everywhere, kind of like that famous deceased artist with the paint splashes, Whatshisname. Although if you ask me Lucy has more talent. So tomorrow it will be a fun trip to the vet.

Otherwise all is well, although I still have a Looming Book Deadline (LBD) and thus will continue to be a sporadic blog entity (SBE). But I'll be around.

In conclusion, let me just say to the motorists of Miami, after having spent two and a half weeks on the roads of Idaho: You people are lunatics.

Comments

[justkristie]

Happy Tail!

(And the stack of bills must not be very tall, cause Sly is pretty short!)

Oh, and cannot wait for the book!

[Diva]

Whatshisname = Pollack, Jackson. ;)

Welcome home, Dave!!!

[Siouxie]

Awww poor Lucy. Maybe they'll have to put her tail in a cast???

Welcome back, Dave!!

We have been eagerly awaiting your return (EAYR).

[Riquin]

With so many bills I think you need a bailout.

[Dave]

Diva: Right! Him. Thanks.

[Motorists of Miami]

There is no higher praise.

(Stay off the sidewalks, IYCMD)

['n' welcome back.....]

[Meanie the Blue]

[aka me]

[Meanie the Blue]

[aka me]

[nursecindy]

Does happy dance because Dave is back. I had a really dumb Basset Hound , Sherlock, that broke his tail. I never did figure out how he did it. No permanent damage but it was crooked. Welcome back!

[cowhand214]

Welcome back Dave!

If you're upset about the height of the bill pile I'd be happy to send you some of mine to give it that critical next few inches. If we all pitch in perhaps we could reach the coveted James Cromwell Bill Pile (JCBP).

[Marvin]

Better 'n Pollack's?
I've go' to call Bollocks!
'less you meant
some o'er gent,
wat belongs to t'em Polacks.

[Marvin]

o 'course you ken see,
right on thru m' plea:
fer whatshisname,
has an o and no a!
tis last time i trust diva, omg!

[Horace LaBadie]

Lucy must be happy to see Walter.

[Cheryl Howard]

Diva, Who the #$&% Is Jackson Pollock?

Dave, nice to have you home. Next time Lucy should join you. Dogs really, really like to sleep in a large pile of decorative pillows. Last time I was in Ketchum they had like 64000 dogs. At the time that was about 3 dogs per person. If you are a famous person wanting to travel incognito, I highly recommend having a lot of dogs with you at all times. Or at least one almost as tall as a stack of bills.

[Cat R]

Slinks in®

Welcome back. A nap mid-bill-paying helps. We got back from Tennessee early Saturday, and I spent two days doing laundry, bills, laundry, throwing out old food in the fridge, laundry, food shopping and laundry. And laundry.

[Katy Pat]

My crazed golden retriever once wagged her tail so much she got "broken wag" and had to go on doggie type advil for several days. It was pitiful, her tail drooped for days and every time she tried to wag it she boo-hooed a little. I had no idea a dog could injure herself BEING HAPPY. Good luck to your doggie, and you!

[Clankazoid]

Remember, you shouldn't say " Idaho " in Miami.

[Cat R]

Our goofball has had this tail grooming design since he was a pup. The groomer advised it early on for happy dogs, because it adds a little "cushion" when they whack their tails against the walls in exuberance. Even when our big guy gets totally shaved in the summer he keeps his puffball tail.

[frodolives]

Cheryl: Jackson Pollock...

And Dave, didn't Hard Wagging Syndrome open for the Troggs at some point?

[Margaritaville]

Poor doggie! Glad you are all home safely so she can get it fixed and be all better for wagging.

[Tash]

Woah. I'm so happy my tail bleeds. I can relate.

[wiredog]

♩ Happy tails to Luuuuu (cy)
Until we meet again! ♬

Welcome home Dave!

[Steve]

Due to my innate grace and agility, I once managed to fracture my tail bone. The doctor said two things to me. One was that they had no way to put my a$$ in a sling. Two was that I was going to have a sore sitter for a while. He was right. I mastered a nonchalant lean for, like, hours.
Take pity on that poor dog. And welcome back.

[Larry]

Hail to thee, blithe spirit!
Doggie that thou art.
That from Heaven, or near it
Breaketh thy tail apart,
In profuse strains of unpremeditated art.

[nursecindy]

Maybe Lucy needs this

[Kev]

Welcome back, Dave! It took me the length of your entire vacation to get caught up on the past month's posts, but here I am, looking forward to more.

[Lender]

I hope Lucy gets well soon. And I think the guy you are referring to is Jackson Pollock. I am not a big fan of his either :)

[Guin]

Cat: Pro-actively throwing away the contents of your refrigerator before you leave works well. If you do it two days before you go, then you can go out to eat, because "there's no food in the house." ;)

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I think I saw Random Smears of Blood at a punk / grunge festival a while back.

After our vacation two weeks ago, we came home to a TomCruise-sized pile of bills. The cable bill had come in.

[dotdot]

Dave, my husband once left the gas hedge trimmer in our foyer one weekend (don't ask me why.) I came home from work on Monday to find blood slung everywhere. The dog had wagged her tail at the front door, the tail hit the hedger blade and was sliced deeply. It was, by then, too late in the day for our vet, so I cleaned and disinfected the wound and used duct tape to keep the wound together and it worked beautifully. Did same for a cut paw in the keys one Sunday...had to leave that one on for a few weeks but I swear the results were perfect. I'm not against vets, but sometimes it's impossible to get to one when your best friend needs it. Friends, you haven't seen anything till you've come come to find your home covered in blood spatters everywhere, it looked like a crime scene for sure. Poor Lucy, heal quickly. I'll say it again, DUCT TAPE WORKS FOR TAILS 1/2 CUT OFF and no, it isn't cruel. Dave, sure hope the paint on your walls has a bit of gloss, otherwise you're gonna have one hell of a time cleaning the blood off.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Hallelujah! Dave's back.

We had a friend with a nasty dog with BTS who had it taped up. Then every time he passed he's whack you with a heavily taped-up tail.

Ouch!

[Siouxie]

Good morning!

RE: Pollack - Having 3 artists in the family, I have seen my share of bad art in famous museums butt, his stuff looks like someone vomited all over the canvas.

[Siouxie]

Oh yeah..breakfast anyone?

[wiredog]

No thanks Siouxie, I'll just have coffee.

[Horace LaBadie]

The only cure for a case of LBD is to go on vacation.

[Cheesewiz]

Isn't Stallone actually quite short?

Wait a second...

[Cagey]

This may people really care about your dog's tail?

[Layzeeboy]

Welcome back, Dave. As a guy of the male persuasion I am happy to report that I don't recall having seen a single picture of a nekkid guy while you were gone.

And give Lucy's tail a kiss for me. Wait, that didn't sound right.

[Not My Usual Alias]

Lucy at the Vet with Plaster

Nah, not even a Beetles tribute band could pull it off.

(I think the lunatics in ID and Miami are just differently armed)

[bonmot]

I married into a dalmatian who would routinely whack her tail on a corner and start it bleeding at the tip, whereupon she proceeded to swish, swish, swish, paint the walls with stripes about eighteen inches off the floor, and little droplets flung farther than that.

Second Skin worked well. Tape kept falling off.

She would also howl "Rye Ruv Roooooooo!!!", which was really cute.

[nursecindy]

Cagey, we are a very caring and sensitive group.

[Steve Haller]

What Dave doesn't know is that I have this never before seen footage of Lucy welcoming him home...

[Steve Haller]

oops, footage here

[nursecindy]

Great video Steve! I'll bet the last time Dave made moves like those was when he was on the ice skating rink in Idaho. They probably weren't intentional either.

[Steve Haller]

Cindy, I'm not sure what you mean, but you know, they do have prescription strength Flomax now...

[nursecindy]

Actually Steve it reminded me of some moves I made when I went ice skating for the first time. They were unintentional because most of them were made while falling or trying not to fall. Off the ice I'm not a great dancer.

[Eagle Home Inspection]

i love the blog