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June 29, 2009


As I try to change over from a corporate type to a full-time Boat Captain, people occasionally send me stuff.  I have seen a lot, in the 26 years I've been a Captain.  I once watched a spit-and-polish Marine Patrol officer back his boat trailer down a ramp, stop with just enough trailer to step aboard from dry pavement and keep the crease in his trousers, start up the boat, back into a river, and slowly sink, as he had forgotten to put in the plug.  Anybody can forget the plug; we've all done it at one time, or another.

However, in all that ime, I have never seen this.  I thought I had seen it all, until somebody sent me this photo.  Technically, boats don't come with directions, you're supposed to know certain things, before you launch your boat:



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I'd bet this guy's great-grandfather put the cart before the horse a few times.

I'll bet this guy asked for directions, and someone told him to drive right out in that REEALLY shallow flat part, make a U-turn, and drop the boat off the trailer there.

So the moral of the story, of course, is NEVER ask for directions.

Now that's a special kind of stupid.

I think he stopped too soon. The boat is almost in the water.

Gotta watch those tides. They're sneaky fast.

GPS gone terribly wrong??

Guys not asking for directions??

Another Cuban testing out the truck before he heads out here?

Now Siouxie...no stereo-typing!
; )

Although it does look an awful lot like most any ramp in Dade County on your typical Saturday morning. I bet he remembered to fill his cooler though!

Wow, CJ - you actually made Dave's headline!

You don't suppose it's a redneck amphibious vehicle do you? Half on land, half on water....?

*missed CJ's rants*

YAY for you!

In a lame attempt to defend this doofus, I'm gonna guess this has something to do with a failure to apply a parking brake.

Or, maybe these guys are actually trailering this boat after a long day on the water.

My first thought was a parking brake problem, too. I've seen a couple of guys do precisely that at boat ramps on Missouri's Lake of the Ozarks.

When I was a kid, there was this one guy (not me!) who, due to inexperience with a standard-shift transmission, sank a Silverado and trailer trying to recover a boat. Every time he tried to pull out he kept rolling backward...and by the time he was done all you could see was the CB whip antenna sticking out of the water.

Yes, all that is possible Olo Baggins and Wes....


He didn't know his truck had a reverse gear.

wonders if there are underwater trucks in front of the other three boats in the picture.

That looks like the back of a tow truck guy.
I think they are attemping to haul out the whole ensemble and bring out the car by it's trailer hitch.

"OK, Honey, it's untied from the trailer; you can put it in the water."

That picture is kind of an allegory of the current US economy...

I think that qualifies for one of these.

Maybe he's towing his truck with his boat? (Dave, I too have forgotten the plug on occasion. Fortunately I've always noticed it in time).

All he has to do is start the boat, put it in reverse and pull the truck out. Duh!

So...if CJ's Captain...is crossgirl soon to be Tenille?

Brian: Olo and I are quite aware which direction the truck is pointing.

One of the guys I was talking about earlier also sank his truck-and-trailer combo nose first. He'd pulled into the marina and parked next to the marina office to check in with the manager before putting his boat in the water...and the brake slipped while he was in the office and truck, trailer and boat trundled right across the parking lot, down the ramp and into the lake.

It's a funny photo - for certain values of "funny" - but maybe we ought to give the driver the benefit of the doubt pending more information.

Wes - since when?! ;)

A Tundra commercial that never made it to the Super Bowl.

This is precisely what happens when men refuse to ask for directions.

This photo is begging for a caption contest.

And aren't we happy that the guy behind the not-quite-launched-as-of-yet vessel has a belt that's doing its job? Yes, we are.

No Wes, I was pretty sure you guys knew that. Living in what amounts to the most brain-cell deprived area of the country(So.FL), I just tend to never let idiots try to explain or justify their actions. I guess I jump to the stupid conclusion a bit to quick lately.

Now I will admit that I have had trouble a time or two at the boat ramp. Usually either from algee on the ramp, poor tires, too steep of a short ramp, just to name a few examples. And yes, that pesky plug that I've put in as water slowly fills the bilge next to the dock. I have not as yet however managed to forget which comes first....the boat or the truck.
; )

But there's always a first time.

Captain [at sea]: Land, ho!
Captain [ashore]: Honey! Wait!! That's not what I meant!!!....

He was holding the map upside down. I do it all the time.

Right direction, wrong coast.

At least this will mean he won't suffer a "Three-hour-tour".

You're doing it wrong.

Looks like he's flooded the engine...

He confused the rules. First launch, then drink!

It's probably because he has an Evinrude on the boat...thought he's have better luck with the truck pulling it through the water.

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