CRIME DOES NOT PAY
Would-be gangster shoots off own manhood
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
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May 22, 2009
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Left him 'half-cocked': FIRST!
Posted by: trustf8 | May 22, 2009 at 07:36 AM
So he really does have dangily bits
Posted by: Pannus | May 22, 2009 at 07:45 AM
True self-abuse.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 22, 2009 at 07:50 AM
It was more like boyhood anyway.
Posted by: Punkin | May 22, 2009 at 07:52 AM
I think Jeff's very (really, we're not kidding) NSFW link would be appropriate here.
Posted by: wiredog | May 22, 2009 at 07:52 AM
Is that gunsmoke coming out of your pants or did you have beans 'n chili for lunch?
Posted by: Mot The Hoople | May 22, 2009 at 07:53 AM
Damn. The bot's still censoring us.
Jeff's link:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5255437014243567497
Posted by: wiredog | May 22, 2009 at 07:53 AM
Except it didn't that time. Careful clicking on the links...
Posted by: wiredog | May 22, 2009 at 07:55 AM
ok so i checked ron's dictionary + i screwed up on careered (thought it was carEENED), but is there ANY way 'crutch' = 'crotch'??
Posted by: trustf8 | May 22, 2009 at 07:58 AM
so did he shoot himself in the crutch or the crotch? One is significantly less painful than the other, from what I have heard. Iz r editurs learning to spell?
Posted by: cowprintrabbit | May 22, 2009 at 07:59 AM
Is our gangsters learning??
I think not.
Posted by: Siouxie | May 22, 2009 at 08:00 AM
No more gang bangs for Lukas.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 22, 2009 at 08:11 AM
they saw that the gunshot had miraculously left his trousers intact.
Do they mean the bullet shot straight down his pants leg?? Must have been boxers. Never happen with tighty whiteys.
Posted by: Loudmouth | May 22, 2009 at 08:24 AM
Men, never store a weapon with your favorite toy.
Posted by: NotSherly | May 22, 2009 at 08:54 AM
wiredog, I'm afraid Puppetry of the Pen!s will be beyond this guy's abilities (not to mention brainpower) for the foreseeable future.
cowprint: crutch in "English" = crotch in American.
Lukas Neuhardt, 27, had forgotten to put the safety catch on when he stuffed the gun into his trouser pocket to impress pals in Saarbruecken, Germany.
No proof, but I'm guessing Lukas is a single fella.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | May 22, 2009 at 09:17 AM
No mention if he was shooting off his mouth at the police. You know if I were a guy and was going to stuff a loaded gun down my pants, I would remember to put the safety on. And may I say "Thank you." to Jeff for all the translating he does for us. When are these foreigners going to speak english? Don't even get me started on the metric system.
Posted by: nursecindy | May 22, 2009 at 09:26 AM
crutch
2.Something that supports, often used negatively to indicate that it is not needed and causes an unhealthful dependency; a prop
yep. Crutch = crotch
Posted by: trustf8 | May 22, 2009 at 09:34 AM
I applaud this guy for not relying on others to accomplish his goals.
Posted by: MartiniShark | May 22, 2009 at 09:41 AM
"crutch in 'English' = crotch in American.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | May 22, 2009 at 09:17 AM"
So do British people laugh when an American says, "I was on crutches for three months after the skiing accident"?
Posted by: Danny | May 22, 2009 at 09:48 AM
And don't get them started on men wearing suspenders.
Posted by: oneblankspace | May 22, 2009 at 09:51 AM
Crotchless knickers have the same meaning in England as in the US. Crutches are things you need when your legs are f&$@*d, whether you're in Britain or America.
Posted by: Mot The Hoople | May 22, 2009 at 09:57 AM
so he put a gun to his head?
Posted by: crossgirl | May 22, 2009 at 10:05 AM
oh, SO CLOSE to being a darwin!
Posted by: queensbee | May 22, 2009 at 10:18 AM
Wow, he could use that as a crutch. Impressive.
Posted by: Margaritaville | May 22, 2009 at 10:18 AM
Guns don't kill d!cks, d!cks kill d!cks.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 22, 2009 at 10:19 AM
And may I say "Thank you." to Jeff for all the translating he does for us. When are these foreigners going to speak english? Don't even get me started on the metric system.
Posted by: nursecindy | May 22, 2009 at 09:26 AM
Thanks, cindy, I knew all those trips to England over the years would pay off.
Actually, when I sent this is this morning, I added:
(Note to nursecindy: crutch = crotch.)
ISIANMTU
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | May 22, 2009 at 10:24 AM
Thanks again Jeff. I think I need to get out more. I've been to Asia but never to Europe. It's on my to-do list.
Posted by: nursecindy | May 22, 2009 at 10:38 AM
*snork* @ cg!!
Yep - bang to the wang
Posted by: Siouxie | May 22, 2009 at 10:48 AM
Could this in anyway be classified as a pee shooter?
Posted by: ron | May 22, 2009 at 10:58 AM
3 year jail sentence ... and he won't be able to use his tool.
Posted by: kibby F5 | May 22, 2009 at 11:32 AM
*ponders what his new gangster name will be*
Posted by: Dorakay | May 22, 2009 at 11:35 AM
Pee Wee?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | May 22, 2009 at 11:37 AM
um
HalfCock
Posted by: trustf8 | May 22, 2009 at 11:41 AM
Stumpy?
Posted by: Siouxie | May 22, 2009 at 11:44 AM
Bobbitt?
Posted by: Danny | May 22, 2009 at 11:46 AM
Stumpy sounds like someone who would need a
crutch
Posted by: trustf8 | May 22, 2009 at 11:47 AM
Siouxie, Stumpy was my first thought. Considering what he did though, I'm thinking the guys in jail will just call him 'Stupid'.
Posted by: nursecindy | May 22, 2009 at 12:11 PM
Or, perhaps, "girlfriend".
Posted by: Margaritaville | May 22, 2009 at 12:18 PM
Has to take it 'cause he can't give it.
Posted by: Loudmouth | May 22, 2009 at 12:48 PM
OT
Tonight at 8 PM on the Discovery Channel "Mythbusters" according to TV Guide: "Claims that alcohol makes the opposite sex more appealing are tested"
/OT
Posted by: Steve Haller | May 22, 2009 at 01:02 PM
NumbNuts would seem to be as good a gangsta name as any.
Posted by: Horace LaBadie | May 22, 2009 at 01:11 PM
He'll really need to stimulate his package.
Hey maybe the iPhone's got an app for that?
Posted by: Cheesewiz | May 22, 2009 at 01:25 PM
Apparently he had a wee willy to match his pea brain. And thus did Lukas become Lucille ... and also an instant candidate for the next round of Darwin Awards:
http://www.darwinawards.com/
Posted by: Semper Fidelis | May 22, 2009 at 01:48 PM
His "gangstah" name is Twenty-Five Cent
Posted by: Siouxie | May 22, 2009 at 03:40 PM
He's half the man he used to be . .
Posted by: GAM- Washington | May 22, 2009 at 05:18 PM
BWA HAHAHAHA !!! Where I come from, gangstas don't NEED to show off for their friends - they either survive their "jumping in", or the paramedics have to come get them.
Posted by: Account Deleted | May 22, 2009 at 05:20 PM
Lukas Neuhardt, 27
Now pronounced "No Hard".
Posted by: BoscoH | May 22, 2009 at 10:02 PM
When the government outlaws shooting yourself in the crutch, only outlaws will be shooting themselves in the crutch.
Posted by: Bob | May 22, 2009 at 10:25 PM
"JACKASS: the German edition".
Posted by: Ivory Bill Woodpecker | May 23, 2009 at 08:39 PM
This. had. to. hurt. And then criminal charges to boot. Dope.
Posted by: Wizzy | May 24, 2009 at 07:39 AM
American Extender was designed as a very complex concept meant to boost male confidence by increasing the penis size, and improving sexual performance at www.AmericanExtender.com
Posted by: American Extender | November 26, 2009 at 12:03 PM