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April 27, 2009


Here is where we stand:

When last we saw Jack, he was twitching helplessly on the ground, not unlike the way many of us ended our evenings when we were college students, except in Jack's case it's because he's in his third week of dying from the Incurable Fatal Killer Pathogen of Perishing to Death, which only his daughter Kim can save him from, except she's on her way to the airport, but somehow we think she will return for the risky stem-cell curing procedure.

When Jack started twitching he was holding a gun on Tony, who definitely seems to be evil, which probably means he is NOT evil, although he did kill Larry just when we were starting to like Larry. In an effort to appear non-evil, Tony shot himself, which would sideline most actual humans for at least an hour, but since Tony lives on Planet 24 he was back in action within minutes.

Tony helped Galvez escape with the Canister of Doom after setting off a massive explosion that killed a bunch of people, all of whom fortunately were extras. Tony said that the canister is worth a lot of money to the people he's working for, who apparently are the mystery puppetmasters who ordered Jon Voight to take a suicide pill last week, which he did, although apparently it was a generic brand because according to the previews he will still be alive this week for a dramatic confrontation with Jack.

Chloe seems to have completely disappeared from the plot. Edgar is still dead.

Tragically, I will not be joining you this week, as I am traveling. I'm sure you'll all do a fine job down in the comments section of analyzing the plot, and of course after the show The Amazing Steve will tie up any loose ends. Meanwhile, feel free to take this scientific poll:

Is it about time that Jack stopped being sick and vulnerable and start KICKING SOME BUTT?
I think Jack is more appealing when he's vulnerable. I also think he should wear a skirt.
I refuse to participate in a poll with a flower motif.
pollcode.com free polls


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What's with the purty girly purple???

I'm not sure which of those links in Dave's recap was more disturbing: Pantsless Jack, Kim's stunt double, or the classic Rolling Stone cover featuring a younger, drugged-out Jon Voight.

Judging from the look on Voight's face these last couple of episodes, I'm thinking he'd like to have some of those drugs back. He could really use them now...

I'm here! Weee.... Hi everyone!
I want some shooting. Dammit.

Siouxie, that's a little to girly for me. I can do flowers but purple... no.

Blue's my favorite.

Woah. That is one very HOT photo of Chloe.

Bring her back!

I'd say I have a competing Live Blog here (http://bit.ly/8U7rd), but you don't call the relationship between a hammer (Dave) and a nail (me) a competition, right? Check it out if you want.

Bachelor partay on HOUSE.

*Wonders who from the MISSING list we will see tonight:

The First Vegetable
The Presidential Press Centerfold

*Also wonders why Janice cannot replace one, or all individuals from said list

Chloe was on maternity leave. Also, how about this quote about Jon Voight:

The actor, 70, says he found the experience "an adventure," and he made some significant contributions. Gordon says Voight ad-libbed several lines, including the producer's favorite: "Stress is the fertilizer of creativity."

Will a cougar appear and will Kim disappear with it?

I could have done without the B.M. photo. He gets me every week.

Seriously, if Jack finds about the Kim Spawn, isn't it feasible that Kim Spawn's umbilical cord blood could be used to cure the Mad Cow? That is if the cord blood was frozen.

Read to go, see you after the show.

Jack gets an email from Nina.

Dear Jack,
See you in hell soon.

BTW, Terri says, Rot in hell you bastard.


Could the cougar make Janis disappear too?

I love Cassie's umbilicus-theorem. Maybe they kept the dried belly-button in a decorative keepsake vial and they can pull stem-cells from that. I'll drink 2 martinis should that play out.

I like purple flowers in their place, but they seem more than a little inappropriate for this blog...

So, which "24" star will give tonight's global warming PSA? Place yer bets, place yer bets...

Steak - check

12-pack chilled on ice - check

Girlfriend shaking head and rolling eyes - check

(Anne says "Hi" to everyone)





J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™ is everywhere! JackSack™ is everything!") and ChloeSack™ ("ChloeSack™ is everybody! ChloeSack™ is still the king!")(Errr....that doesn't seem right...)


This "24" intro was brought to you by Elllllllllllllllllllvis. While Jack has died and come back to life twice, Elvis has not yet come back to visit. He's watching Jack's style closely, tho...

House is halu..., hallu..., seeing things. Nothing new.

If it doesn't play out, how many martinis are you going to drink?

"A man that only has hours to live has nothing to lose." Voiceover on House preview before 24.

I want some shooting people.

uh-oh, TypeCrap already giving me fits.

Is this trip really necessary?

First Daughter is annoying me already.

Olivia calling Jonas a "sociopath."

Pot, meet kettle...

I can picture Anne rolling her eyes now.

*HI* back!!

Hey, ya'll!!!

Wes, I hope it isn't Janice. Gag!

New title: Madame President Mom.

How many more script pages are you from finishing? BTW I can't find you on ScriptFrenzy.org. Gah. I'm on page 85.

just 5 hours left

Fire in the hole! Too bad it's not the First Daughter.

Howdy. Have my wine ready.

CrapPad started up early this evening.

No wonder he's having a seizure. The bars are closed.

"...and cue spineboards - ACTION!"

Chloe is back tonight!!

They're telling Jack not to speak? Ha!

I'll bet last week's explosion and the ongoing resulting structure fire just blew their carbon footprint all to hell...


Chloe's in the opening credits. Has she been the last few weeks or are we finally getting her back???

Damn... Tony just wasted them

Early perimeter! Drink!

Whoa, Tony.

Go Tony! You're The Terminator now!

isn't jack the one we want shooting people?

Tony's doing the killin'. Good job.

Pistolas at 10 paces. Great start!

I'm working on it Cassie. I would love to read what you have.

Chloe has been out on maternity leave (the actress). That's why we've been tortured with Jenine Giraffelo this season. UGH!

"Be on the lookout for Tony Almeida...Oops, too late..."

I don't care if it's jack or tony as long as people die.


Jack we hardly knew ye. Next season will be boring without you.


Alpha One... ooo... is this Dollhouse now?

Double perimeter! Double shots!

3 perimeters in 5 minutes!

Perimeter? Yesss! DRINK!

((hi, fellow Jack Bauerites)

Jack, ever the Periminator, runs the plot from his gurney.

M'ville, NOTHING can kill Jack! He'll be back.

One sympton of Jack's madcow is trachael obfuscation, aka perpetual whisper syndrome.

Sweet idea. I still got a few scenes to finish. Got some killing to write in. :-D

The poll should have purple flowers because the Canister of Doom is pink.... or maybe it's the Canister of Vodka Tonics?

Why didn't Jack slap Tony with a beridium patch like Spock did with Kirk in Star Trek VI? It would make monitoring Tony that much easier...

Slow down on the perimeters. I'm a lightweight.

Periminator sounds kinda like someone who is into the anal play a bit too much. I might have to take that one back. But then, considering the bromance between Jack and Tony this season, I think not.

Has Tony developed immunity to the Mad Cow?

Galvez is soon to be history, I think.

Oh the old double cross

Tony seems upset.

Rule number one of spying: never turn your back on a shady turncoat spy!! Dumbass!

I like this Tony, actually. He is my new Jack Bauer.

More people die in Holiday Inn that way....

Tony is one bad ass!

When did they seem him swallow something? They weren't watching him!

OK, when the moles start turning on each other we have crossed some kind of plot-twist threshold whereby everyone is actually good.

I'd hate to be killed with a shower curtain.

Beyond the perimeter! Yessss! Drink!

The cansiter slipped the perimeter. Who'da thunk?

So many perimeters, so little security...

Trying to find out how she breached security???!!! This is the FBI! This is 24!! There IS no security!!!

Damn canisters. Tired of stupid canisters. Get some new McGuffin.

Another perimeter! Was this what Fox was doing with "retooling" the final six episodes of the season: Packing so many "perimeters" in the first fifteen or twenty minutes that the audience will be too drunk to notice all the holes and leaps of logic in the plot?

Smart move, Fox.

That's mole civil war!

Someone doesn't want Hodges to talk

We don't want anyone to talk - SHOOOT,SHOOT,SHOOT

You know what Yoda would tell Jonas....
Do or not do. There is no try.

Or something like that.

Jack seems A-OK now. But, then again, he's Jack. Just as hard to kill as a cockroach.

Good to know the news networks still are not aware of these massive gun fights going on in and around the D.C. area.

Proof of death. Jack's good at providing that.

Tony has a girlfriend!

Gennita, I like the new Tony too. Even if he's not in the mood. :)

Where's make-up. Jacks got a shiny spot on his forehead.

"Don't start with me." Nice line...

Tony really likes sufocating people

OOo! OOO! Tony has the canister! AND a GF.

Tony: "I'm not in the MOOOOOOOOOD."


Yeah! Don't hold back! We have a few more hours of show to go!

REALLY -- no fun when it's so dumb and obvious.... first those guys are like Tony? Um, hey that's Tony right here--- BOOM...Then we have Mr Hot Shot Tony turning his back flat on the other guy!!

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