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April 11, 2009


So we're sitting in the Denver airport, in a confined area, maybe 25 people, and in our midst is one of those Bluetooth Blowhards, carrying on a long cellphone conversation in a loud voice so everybody can hear every detail about his big workload and his very successful business and his rich friends with a 150-foot yacht with a weapons system to repel pirates and how he's a pretty good skier and he doesn't want to talk trash but he knows WAY more about stocks than Jim Cramer and you should definitely bet on Russian stocks and on and on and ON. So finally a man walked over, put his face right into the blowhard's, and said, "Excuse me. Nobody here cares about your business, OK? And all of us can hear every word." Which actually pretty much shut the blowhard up. If I wore a hat, I would take if off to that man.

And if Russian stocks turn out to be a good investment, remember: You heard it here.


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First to say that you should have uploaded a crap-cam picture of him - make him famous, too!

And a picture of the hero, too.

See,sometimes there is a Santa Claus.

I HATE the Bluetooth Blowhards. Last night I was at Wally World,aka Balmart,and the aisle I wanted to go down was blocked by two men on Bluetooths. It was the panty hose aisle! Why they chose that aisle to talk on their Bluetooths (Blueteeth?) is beyond me. Hats off to the hero at the Denver Airport.

Well, I DO wear a hat. Several, actually. And I doff them all to this everyday hero.

Dave's hair is too nice to hide under a hat.

I have been working at home for most of the last 12 years, so I don't get out much, and when I do it's often out to work the dogs in places where there are no people. (I once dropped my cell phone in a fresh pile of you-know-what, so I don't carry it in the field.)

The first time I encountered someone using a Bluetooth device I thought he was talking to himself. I got away from there quickly, not wanting to "play a part in his movie", IYKWIM.

Almost everyday I am compelled at some point to call my boss who wears one of these remarkable pieces of crapola technology. They are so well tuned that I am able to every single sound in his environment with the exception of his voice. We cannot have a conversation and he gets upset as if it were my fault.

Last week I did not call him about an issue and he asked why. I told him I did not feel like calling and not talking so I chose to not call in order to not talk.

To the Pantheon of Super Heros, we now add Blowhard BUSTER! Faster than 11-g. Able to muzzle meatheads with a single word.
Disguised as mild-mannered Dave Barry, Blowhard Buster stands ready to fight for Truth, Justice and the 3.4 gallon flush.

and now you are job-hunting, Sharkboy? ;)

well maybe that means i shouldn't say this, but it's especially annoying because they all seem to think they need to talk REALLY LOUD. they'd never talk that loud to someone who was standing near them. and often i have to turn down my phone volume (has he got his turned up, MS?) so as to be able to stand talking to someone who is shouting into his or her phone. bluetooth should offer sensitivity training ("How to talk on the phone for Dummies").

applause! wish i had the chutzpah to do that!

I think I have explained this before, but the tendency to talk too loud on a cell phone or Bluetooth is because you can't hear yourself. On an old fashioned phone, it's made so that your own voice feeds back into your ear. Cellular devices don't do that, so you tend to talk louder to compensate.

Young people and those who have used cellular devices for a long time probably don't suffer this affliction, but I go back all the way to rotary dial phones, and I often find myself talking too loud on a cell.

So, if he's so successful, why wasn't he flying on his LeerJest?

But this allows you to play that exciting game,
"Bluetooth OR Dangerous Mentally Disturbed!"
Sometimes it's both...

Please buy that guy a beer.

What's a 'rotary dial' pogo? Who wouldn't love to be MartiniShark's boss??

One time Judi, he was on that device and I told him to take it out and speak on the phone because it was so loud where he was. He tells me he has to have it on to keep his hands free for work. 10 minutes later I meet guys from work for beers, and there he is sipping away. Told him he could have a mug in one hand and a phone in the other, the tool.

A rotary dial is they type of phone that came after the crank phone.

That's where you pick up the earpiece, turn a crank, and when you hear a voice say "number, please?" you say, "Helen, gimme Fred Frakes." (Fred was the farmer who had the land across the road from my grandfather.) Helen knew everybody's number.

By the way, I sent this anecdote in to the blog last week.

Phone you sit on and rotate.

Besides the Hudson landing and the break in caught on live web cam, the feel good story of the year!

*SMACKS* Sharkie for whining. And don't even THINK about bringing anything political up. btw Dave, did he happen to mention which Russian stocks to buy? Just curious.

I have one of those BT thinguses. The only time I can stand wearing it is when driving in fast traffic or in DC where handset use is agin the law. Yeah, I remember answering someone's question in a store only to find they were talking to someone else on an earpiece. DC has plenty of those folks who talk loudly while walking around on the street. The fruitcakes have phones. The ones that sound scary sensible don't.

Rotary Dial is the place where Rotarians meet under the Big Cock Clock.

Did Blowhard try to sell you a ShamWow?

When I was growing up, we called those people who walked around talking to themselves "homeless". Now, we call them "Bluetooth enabled". I like the old way better.

Last week, while I was having dinner, a Bluetoothed primate insisted on providing details of his medical condition to his fellow diners. Eventually, someone walked up to him and said "I'm so sorry that our dinner is interrupting your cell phone call."

I felt like cheering.

I didn't say anything political, and you turn violent. Typical libertarian behavior.

Didn't Jack's brother use one of those??

'nuff said

I think it would be fun to act out for the other witnesses what must be happening on the other end of the conversation...

Bluetooth Blowhard: "Well, I'm carrying a huge workload in my successful business..."

Bluetooth Counter Insurgent: "Well, I'm sure there's a restroom nearby where you can do your "business" and drop your huge "workload"."

BB: *glances around* "Yeah, my yacht - a 150 foot yacht - has a weapons system to ward off pirates.

BCI: "Whoa! You must really be trying to compensate for something.

BB: *frowns* "... but you should definitely bet on Russian stocks..."

BCI: "Oh, I don't know. Investing in Russian wives for pencil-dicked, blow-hard, over-compensating, loud-mouthed louts might not be the growth industry in this economy."

BB: *hangs up, red-faced*

Plus the scruffy look is in, making it even harder to tell the BT's from the homeless. Now I have to wait until my target gets into a nice car to tell if he's worth going into cougar-mode.

You don't mind a little scruffy, do you Annie?

Annie - around here the scruffy-looking panhandlers are sometimes people who have nice cars parked around the corner.

That would be a problem, pogo.

It takes one to know one Sharkie. I was merely anticipating any political remarks you might make based on yesterday's posts. Wait a minute. *SMACK* Libertarian is a political thing.

geeze, with the Smacks. Siouxie has been a bad influence on you.

*smacks* Sharkie for dissin' Siouxie.

Yeah Shark. The blog queens seem to be getting a bit militant lately.

Girls, real scruffyfor ya.

Aaaaw, cute!

It's not just with Bluetooth. Most people on cell phones speak pretty loud (except for all of us).

One time I was in an airport giftshop and a twenty something woman was on the phone 15' from me. She was loudly telling a friend something like, "I have GOT to stop sleeping around or I'm going to turn into a slut."

I looked at her and said,"you realize that everyone in this store can hear you, right."

She looked back at me like I had invaded her bedroom.


Dave?? is he single?? The hero, not the blowhard. If he is, give him my number. I love a man with cojones.

*SMACKS* Sharkie AND Loudmouth. hmmph! I am NOT militant!

I was at a concert last night and sitting next to me was a man and his son (about 8)(the son, not the man) and they kept whispering to each other. The acoustics at this place are unbelievable and you could hear everything. After a few dirty glances from me and turning the other way,covering my ear to block their noise, I turned and said...PLEASE! and gestured that I was trying to hear. One of the usher ladies came over and scolded the kid AND the dad.

F I were 'militant' I would have thrown the kid from the 2nd floor balcony box area ;-)

*Tosses an I up there*

Bluetooth Blowhards WBAGNFARB that you would never go to see.

What I hate even more - they put it on "speaker" so you get to share both sides of the conversation!

Gee thanks, @sswipe!

*Imagining self in same situation*

*Imagines walking over to blowhard, pulling out my cell, and starting to video the guy*

*When he asks what the hell I am doing, look innocent and say, oh! I thought, since you were so loud, that this was performance art. I didn't realize you are just a jerk -- my bad!*

Hey, how come he hung on me?

Blowhards rank right up there with temper-tantrum kids in Wally World. I once told a woman if she didn't smack her kid, I'd smack her... that didn't go over so well.

*waves to Cat R*

Thankfully, over here, the novelty has kinda worn off on those BT thingys and we seldom see guys wearing them outside their cars. The guys who are mostly seen with electronic aural growths in public seem to have their pants hitched up so high their voices are muffled, You know, the really anal retentive types.

You have to talk louder because the people you're talking to are so far away.

Hi, Wyo! *waves back*

My youngest was watching Supernanny last night with me. When the 9-year-old brat was hitting her mom in the car, my daughter turned to me and said, "I would toss that kid off a roof".

My daughter plans to be a psychiatrist one day. I don't quite know what to make of her comment, but I can't say I disagreed.

Cat, I think she's off to a good start. Shrinks NEED to be a little disturbed ;-)

Dave has expounded about this phenomenon previously.

As I pointed out above, I tend to guilty of talking too loud on my cell phone. (I don't have a Bluetooth thing.) But on the other hand I don't like to use the phone, and therefore use it rarely.

I have to carry one for work, but I think of it more as an electronic tether than a convenience.

*snork* @ Cat's daughter! My 10-year-old likes that show. Not sure if he's into the shock value or researching the latest trends in acting out.

. o O What is it they say about acorns and oak trees?


I was thinking apples and apple trees, Meanie butt...same diff.

Does anyone remember the good old days when you would go shopping or for a drive just to get away from the phone?

Heyyyy....was that tree comment directed at me? Jeeez....can't catch a break around here. ;)

I remember the good old days of a party line.

Shrinks need to be a LITTLE disturbed??

By the time you've done 25 years in this industry, I can guarantee you, we are..


These BT folks should be confined to Telephone booths (equipped with a device to suck out the Oxygen)

Of course, I've never seen a Blowhard in my line of work......


Now ,Dave talking while wearing a BT,(maybe with a Martini) THAT would be interesting..


EB are you a shrink? Shall I lay down on the couch or just sit in a chair? It all started when I was a little girl..................
btw, I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter or Passover.

Dave, you could have taken your blue shirt off for him.

I love it when people are talking about their sex lives or other extremely personal info at the top of their lungs. I try to act like I'm not eavesdropping (technically I'm not)

There seems to be a coorelation to these communication devices and the importance of their use in public. It seems the less you need them and lack of importance of your call the greater your likelyhood of inflicting your conversation on others.

On my job I use the phone all day out of need, and funny thing is when I get a call in, say, a bar I go outside for privacy. I also hide my phone in my pockets and my bluetooth stays in the truck because I don't need it elsewhere. I always love seeing people in Wal-Mart with the clip-on phone holster and the BT perched in their ear as they shop for bath mats. Never know when the manager of Chuck-E-Cheeze may have a mozzerella emergency, but he's on call just in case.

I own a BT thingie only cuz it came with one of my older cell phones but have rarely used it. I think it looks pretty stoopid. Like a huge roach/bug sucking your brain through your ear.

Too many Stephen King novels???

Where I live, it's hard to tell the Bluetooth Blowhards from the crazies. They all seem to be talking to themselves. You know they're crazy when the train dips under the bay and they keep talking. There's no cell service that can penetrate the bay tube. I love the astonished look on Blowhard visitors when they get cut off mid blow a few hundred feet in the tube. Buh-bye to their boss, girlfriend, wife, child, dog sitter. Hello peace and quiet.

No one yet has noted how much they look like the Borg on Star trek (maybe I the only geek that noticed, but I doubt it!)

You will be assimilated.

"Excuse me, but your self importance is grating on all the rest of us."

What cindy said, Happy Easter and Passover to all.
*goes to hide/hunt eggs*

I don't understand why BT earpieces have to have lights. Mine has a blue blinker on the side. Nothing I can see. I'd have to ask someone to tell me if it was working. Another reason I only use it in the truck and alone. Just looks dumb. I also have a catalog with about 40 of them shown. Who decided a blinged up leech on your ear would make a stylish accessory?

I have to agree with MartiniShark about people at grocery stores or Walmart with these things on. You would think they were waiting on a call from the president or the Pope about a matter of extreme national importance. I thought pagers were irritating back in the day. In fact one year at Christmas a friend's husband bought her a beeper. She wasn't too happy since they didn't even have a phone. So if he beeped her she would have to go to a pay phone to call him back.

I still can't take anyone wearing one of these "Star Trek wannabe" ear pieces seriously. They look so darned odd. I'm glad no one I know wears one. I'd likely ridicule them so much they'd stay away from me. Is this a good thing?

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