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April 07, 2009


Why do you do this?



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it's because women have breasts and love small animals.

...and then they have to have a special chest (taking up more room in the bedroom), that you have to put the pillows in, before you can get out the real pillows and go to bed!

Oh, but just take up a small amount of space in the garage for a beer fridge and they roll their eyes!

cj's been watching too much "along came polly"....
i'm all for putting the pillows on top of the beer fridge in the beddroom.

i don't own that many pillows in my whole house, with four people living here

Becaws it wooks pwetty

Simple. It looks purty.

Who is cruel enough to make a pillow out of a baby polar bear, and then hang a picture of the bear on the wall above the bed?

My mother does that. I don't even know why she bothers with the bedspread, you can't see it with all the pillows.

As long as there are wind-blown models in bras, I am okay with all the pillows.

It's really to get the pillows to end up all over the floor during the night so those of us who have to wake up at the crack of dawn can feel like we're entering one of those kids' party ball-filled chambers blindfolded as we ease ourselves out of bed trying not to trip and stumble and knock over lamps while we clutch the blinds to avoid cranial trauma and having to clean up pools of blood.

Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

Up early for the ski run, Dave?

It's easy Dave. We do it because the decorating shows tell us to. If we don't our neighbors will laugh at us and tell us we have no style. Then the next thing you know you're on Trading Spaces and they're glueing silk flowers on your bathroom walls. That really happened in one of their episodes btw.

some women are just as horrified by it as you are, sir.

It sends a subtle message: Do Not Even Think About It.

Pillow Sham WOW!!

Because most some women have a romantic image of a kilted guy tossing all the pillows onto the floor as they prepare to rip their bodices...right?

Only if we can see what he's wearing under that kilt Allen. I had to pause for a few minutes to clear the mental pictures and to go put a few more pillows on the bed. After looking at Dave's posted picture I realized it needs a couple of more there in the front to make it perfect.

I don't have that many pillow. And I don't want them.

Because if they ended up on the floor in my house, my dog would gut them and I'd have that much more cleaning to do. No thanks.

Congratulations to your tar heels, Cindy.
And go UConn Husky dogs tonight. Mush!

I can relate in one sense, at least.

Allen, all the kilted guys ripping bodices are busy in the woods or stables, where there are rarely any pillows at all.
I have 2 extra pillows on my bed...or more accurately, 2 extra pillows that I put on my bed once every few weeks when they're not lying on the floor under piles of laundry.

Siouxie says it looks purty and I bow to her superior fashion sense.Here we make the bed just before we get in it.3 pillows.

Dave did another column on Guest Room Pillows, which you must never, ever touch!

Thank you, ron. I would have said what Allen did but that's just not very lady-like.

To keep our menfolk from sprawling all over the VERY EXPENSIVE/COLOUR CO-ORDINATED bedcover, falling asleep and then leaving DROOL and much much worse than even drool CREASES....

I also have a huge sectional couch in the living room and every inch of it is covered with pillows. I like pillows. To me, they represent comfort. And yes, they look purty ;-)

some women are just as horrified by it as you are, sir.

Posted by: judi | April 07, 2009 at 08:18 AM

Amen, judi.

Allen, thanks for the link to the Classic Dave story. LOVE IT.

My bed is made every night as we are getting into bed. There are several pillows but only because the hubby keeps stealing mine.

rut roh. Here we go again.

Who broke the blog?

Kill the italics!

Hello. Blog repair. That'll be $60, payable to Italaway, Inc.

try again did that work?

Of course, if the blog had just displayed my comment after it posted, I would not have needed the second attempt.

It takes a moment....

gjd did it!! Dunno who, cindy. We used to be able to fix it ourselves but apparently the Typepoop overlords have decided that is WAY too much power for our tiny blogger brains to handle.


Clean up on aisle 3!!! pleeeeeeease !!

OOPS! It was me. I italicized everybody. Does this work? I hope so!

*hangs head in blogshame*


gjd we usually just blame pogo or MartiniShark but since neither has appeared today...
The correct answer to "Why do you women do this?" is: Because we can.

Don't worry about it gjd.

I stayed at a Marriot recently, and they did this kind of thing. Three big pillows, three small pillows and a "log roll" pillow. Who the hell needs 7 pillows? Even if I wasn't by myself, that'd still be 2 pillows plus half a log roll apiece.

The world is insane.

g, that's OK. Being italicized is the most action I've had in months.

Shadow - I actually SLEEP with 7 entire pillows. IANMTU.

Well, Satan - isn't that special?!?

Cripes. I'll take Name Changes for $200, Alex.

Wow, you're staying in a fancy hotel and that is all the pillows you got? *sends blog family more pillows* There, much better. And did you also order from the pillow menu??

Siouxie & I did. Right, BFF?

*happy happy pillow dance*

I blame Martha Stewart.

Yes we did, BFF!! We got extra fluffy pillows and WINE.

Hmmm, I never pictured Satan as a pillow cuddler.

*Waves @ Diva!!!*

Because pillows are needy and need lots of friends.

I used to have a girlfriend who was adamant about having pillows that were expressly not to be used. Eight on the bed, more on the sofa, none of which were constructed to cradle a cranium. I would stand in the doorway and watch as the bed was ceremoniously dismantled for sleep each night, and the "Sleeping pillows" taken from the closet. One night I woke to her screaming. The dog was snoring on his back in the pile of pristine pillows. I told her to explain to him the concept of not using them for sleep purposes. Little wonder we didn't last long.

My favorite pillow is my body pillow. It's very nice to snuggle up to and it doesn't snore or fart in it's sleep.

I have 4 sleeping pillows and just 3 decorative ones. Anywhere I turn, there's one ;-)

The ex didn't quite like this either, Sharkie. I figure if he wasn't gonna cuddle after he got the sex, I'd use something else. BOB worked the same way.

"Nononono! Do not open those beers, those are for display only! Get those cans in the lettuce crisper if you want something to drink."

Sharkie did the ex girlfriend ever say it was either her or the dog?

She knew better than to ask. He didn't get mad at important things like appropriate pillow use and why I was an ass for lighting a decoration candle.

I'm surprised nobody have mentioned that the decorative pillows are for the large dogs to sleep on during the day.

I buy pillows for the same reason that I gravitate toward the sleepwear in clothing stores. I look at all that fluff and flannel and cozy stuff and think, "Gee...if I just had THAT, I'd feel better about the job/the kids/the economy/the federal government/global warming/killer bees/tainted pistachios."

When the pillows get home, they just sit around til they end up at the Salvation Army. The comfy snugglies, however, live forever.

*SNORK* @ Sharkie!

*WAVES at Hammie!!!*

I have decorative pillows on my sofa. They are leather. My great dane loves them. He drags them onto his bed and proceeds to slobber on them.

It's easy Dave. We do it because the decorating shows tell us to. If we don't our neighbors will laugh at us and tell us we have no style. Then the next thing you know you're on Trading Spaces and they're glueing silk flowers on your bathroom walls. That really happened in one of their episodes btw.

Posted by: nursecindy | April 07, 2009 at 08:08 AM

Oh, crap. And I'd be just the lucky girl to have Hildy decorating my house. ><

So true Diva. I would barricade the door before I'd let Hildy in. I think she's the one that hot glued all the silk flowers on the bathroom walls. And I heard that the teacher that had the room where she nailed all of the records to the walls had to have the entire room re-sheetrocked because there were over a thousand nail holes in the old sheetrock.

The pillow count in the bedroom depends on who you ask...

I say six: two regular pillows, one body pillow, and three decorative pillows inflicted on us by a third party. The three decorative pillows have not been on the bed in many moons.

My Jewban would say 8 pillows... possibly causing him to get smacked. Repeatedly.

Tammy, do your extra two count as "body" pillows? *snorks, ducks*

Cindy - it was indeed Hildy. That flower bathroom - they used liquid nails which ruined the sheetrock underneath because you can't remove it. They sued the show. Oh, and do you remember the room she completely covered in corrugated cardboard?! *SHUDDER*

Yes I remember that one. She was nuts. One of my biggest problems with that show was they always took down the ceiling fans and painted the fireplace. I have a large brick fireplace and I would KILL anyone that painted it. Also in the summer here in North Carolina a ceiling fan is a must when the temperature is 98 degrees and the humidity is around 100%.

Diva, NICE *wave*!

LOL, Allen - it was just for you guys. ;)

Cindy - she earned the nickname "Hideous Hildy" in my book.

Quite possibly, Diva. ;) *idly feeds ducks*

I won't say how long we've been married but I will say that my wife had pillows EVERYWHERE before Martha got on TV. You could tell who had been in our living room last by where all the pillows were; neatly covering our entire couch (her) or ruthlessly thrown into a convenient corner (me).
It was the same with the bedroom but I'd better not discuss that.

You guys aren't mentioning when she made the entire guest bedroom just in time for the home owners in laws to visit out of cardboard.........ahhh Hildy the Horrible

Psst, Suzanne - see my 11:51 comment. ;)

Here is the measure: There are two primary functions that bedrooms are used for, and if you are concerned with decorative pillows, a duvet, shams, or the window treatments then you are doing those two things incorrectly.

MShark -- hee hee yes, let's get back to basics here!...... That photo is pretty scary, not even a few comfy looking pillows but that "don't touch" look, hmmmm are women like that "don't touch" women?? ..... I like a few couch pillows with yummy fabrics and patterns.... Sahms on the bed seemed linke a good idea but who wants to keep putting them off and on.... My mom was so "don't touch," when we gave her nice silk pillows for a couch, she stuck them in the basement so they wouln't get ruined!

OOp I was thinking too much of the nails with the records when I read it. Do you remember the look on the parents faces when they saw the room.

Sharkie, if someone knows how to do one of those bedroom functions correctly then the decorative pillows, duvet, and shams can go wherever they land when thrown. Also I'm surprised that a man would know what a duvet is.

You DO mean watch tv and blog, right Sharkie??

*hair flip*

(There is NOTHING wrong with doing all those things in a nicely decorated bed. It's called ambiance. Same reason we like to burn scented candles and have soft music in the background.) (Yes, I realize that all you guys need is a "yes")

*shudders when thinking of Hildy* How about the time she glued wine labels to the kitchen walls, covering them entirely--for homeowners who did not drink.

I'm trying to think of the other decorator from the same show--she glued moss to the walls of a home whose owners had severe mold allergies. Brilliant!

I was talking about the important things:

1) Pillow Fighting

2) Fort Building

And I do not have a clue what a duvet is, does, or why it is needed. All I know is that when the afore mentioned ex was thumbing through a catalogue she was marvelling at duvets, and then said the dog had to stay off of it.

I told her good luck, because he didn't speak French.

Cheryl, the owner in the wine label episode not only didn't drink he was a Minister. I believe it was Genevieve that glued moss on the walls of the allergy sufferers. She also used egg shells on that episode as votive candle holders. It looked like she had gone through the trash. The maddest I ever saw a homeowner get though was the guy who had just put down new berber carpet and one of them tore it up and painted his sub floor for a 'dramatic, masculine' effect.

Multiple Pillows? Why, I'm lucky to get the bed made up in the AM!

The cats would undo any decorating ideas anyway.They have saved me from buying Porcelain and delicate items for a long time..

EB. At home, but not decorating.

... um ... Siouxie said "yes" ... twice ... hmmmmmmmmmmmm ...

MB(RH?) has more than approximately several pillows around the house ... but it is a given that they will be used for "normal guy-type" pillow purposes ... sleepin' on, and cushioning the firearms during the clean-up chores ...

And speakin' of ordnance (nor ordinance) ... if any of them "home decorator" types ever showed up @ our house, they'd never make it nearer than the end of the driveway ... merely sayin' ...

All of our decorative pillows live on top of the hamper, which means our dirty clothes are piled neatly in little piles by my side of the bed. We make the bed purty when we have company, but otherwise, I am far too lazy to do that crap every night.

I guess I'm just not "ritual" oriented.

and Siouxie, we could do another thread on the scented candle thing. Cracks me up. In my place alone I could find those scented like brown sugar, sugar cookies, and warm sugar, however in hell that is supposed to smell. I came home once and there were vanilla mixed with honey and I think orange blossom. This was intentional.

I was asked what I thought, and cro-mag that I am, I answered truthfully and said it smelled like IHOP. Seriously, the place had the identical aroma of a pancake house. She was not thrilled. I was not thrilled either, because when I walked in I thought we were having waffles.

Oh, Cheryl - I forgot about the wine label fiasco! I have to admit that it was kind of a cool idea because it ended up looking like wallpaper, but that was a priceless moment on air - she is the queen of the Awkward Moment.

Well, see, Sharkie - you gotta have the pillows to build the fort!

As long as you don't confuse a duvet with a bidet. Or the other way around.

I agree that they are entirely there for forts and pillow fights. Wow, suddenly married life sounds like fun.

Clearly a topic of great concern to the American people.

Paging Tim Geithner, paging Tim Geithner, please intervene immediately!

Sharkie - I like those reed diffuser thingies. I put them in the bathrooms - they are much easier than candles, all you have to do is remember to turn the reeds around. When we have a large party, though, we use a LOT of candles. It looks so pretty, even my guys like having them. And I always have volunteers to light them - having young women around to replace as needed is always helpful as well.

Tel, I have those diffuser thingies all over the house too. And the candles (vanilla sugar & lavender being the favs).

Siouxie - I have to be judicious in my choice of scents, because the "men" at the house would object to too much foo foo stuff. I forgot I put a couple in the den, because that's where the kids spend the most time, and it can get somewhat ripe.

I never thought I'd see the day when blog guys discussed decorative candles, duvets, decorative pillows and such.  See what happens when you go on vacation Dave?

--I'm surprised nobody has mentioned that the decorative pillows are for the large dogs to sleep on during the day.--

This is not just something big dogs do. My Yorkie has ruined numerous sofa pillows by sprawling across them & squishing them with her little body. Who knew small dogs were so dangerous when decorative pillows were around??

Note Cindy we are probing for answers here behind the female psyche, not comparing doily patterns (though the Boddington lace weave is a fave).

Cindy, Siouxie--A "duvet" is a chunk ripped out of the grass, right?

I was thinking about pillow fights and forts.

Actually Allen, a divet is a chunk out of the grass.  A duvet is a beautiful cover that goes on the bed and matches your decorative pillows.  Of course your pillows should match your unlit decorative candles and unused decorative soaps.  Although I could be wrong.  You might want to ask Sharkie.  I'd give him a few minutes though. He's picking out doilies right now.

for your amusement pleasure. this thread is a smash hit on FARK (new window)

I thought a divet was an opera star...

Because bedding sets often have five or more matching pillows, and we feel the need to collect them, because we like things that match (see: flatware, shoes/bags, etc). Even if we don't see a need for them, if they go out of stock then we will never have the full matching set and it will haunt us every time we look at our barren beds and see the ghosts of the pillows that could have been. Knowing this, bedding manufacturers are cranking out even more and more decorative pillows. It's a vicious cycle.

Because they look cool and interior decorators tell us to do it.

Allen. A tiny opera star.

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