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February 23, 2009


Guys know how to harness the power of technology to improve workplace efficiency.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)


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I've learned about guys on this blog. 1. They like to make things go boom 2. They like to reinvent things to do odd things. A lathe as a pencil sharpener? 3. They like beer. 4. If they can combine all of these things into one activity they're happy. Did I miss anything blog guys?

*resists urge to tell nursecindy about "the other thing"*

Who's holding the beer?

pogo, I believe it's understood that sex will be involved in that activity.


Aopparently, nursecindy, you forgot the lesson that there is no 3.

That being said I think that pencil sharpener, albeit fun and functional, may be a tad to cumbersome for my son's kindergarten teacher's desk.

*sneaks back to remove the extraneous o*

Dang, siouxie, you let the cat out of the bag!

Baron, actually I think you need to put that O back.

I know you blog boys so well, pogo.

If you can manage to burp or fart in the process, even better.

She let the cat out of the bag so it could hold the beer.

So he can program a lathe. Whoopee. But did he make his bed this morning or run a load of wash? Oh, nooooo....

I'd be more impressed if he programmed the lathe to put the seat down.

*emits 10-second, 3-octave belch*

Song for Siouxie

We also like boobs. Not on us, on the womenfolk.

Having a pair that had beer, exploded and sharpened pencils would be pretty interesting.

Yes, Siouxie touches on the true mystery of life: While men can make a complex process out of a mundane task women would rather burn 30 minutes of emotional energy than expend 1.5 seconds of effort in lowering a seat.

Shark - They LIKE to burn emotional energy.

What Martinishark meant to say was - "Siouxie's right. Again."

he probably didn't bother cleaning up the shavings either.

You all are missing the point....

The last time I waded through this arguement:

When I asked why this was such a HUGE deal she gave me the arguement about sitting in the toilet in the middle of the night. Rather than asking why she would place her exposed self ANYWHERE without first checking I drew an anology. If a woman falls into a toilet why is it the man's fault but if the man takes a leak without knowing the lid was down it is again the man's fault? Her answer was that women are emotional and don't have to make sense while men have to make sense while not emotional.

Then why was I in trouble for not crying during your movie last night?

That was actually a pretty cool waste of time!

Thanks, pogo. Brad Paisley is a smart man, which is why I adore him. He's also cute.

*SMACKS Sharkie*

cg, he's working on a way to use the shavings as rocket fuel.

That was for womendom.

*SMACKS Sharkie*
I can think of something else to put in there that could use some sharpening....

Hey Pog', won't be impressed with your belching prowess until you can do the entire "Smoke on the Water" riff.

blaart - blaart - BLAARRT
blart-blart - BLAA-HARRRRT...

(cheap beer is permitted as a performance enhancer)

No Stairway?

Annie and Siouxie you forgot to smack Fast Eddie. It seems like Sharkie get's smacked a lot. Poor Sharkie.


Thanks for pointing that out, nursecindy. My bad.

*SMACKS Fast Eddie*

Siouxie says:

"I know you blog boys so well, pogo.

"If you can manage to burp or fart in the process, even better."

Not during Siouxie, only after.

You're such the gentleman, Cheesie.


Martini likes it.
*SMACKS Fast Eddie*

All I ever want is either reasoning, or consistancy. Instead I get smacked on a consistant basis for no reason.

You want consistency?
*SMACKS M'shark again*
Howzzat for consistent?

Martini - actually, the argument is: Why can't you just put the seat down, it only takes 1.5 seconds of your time ??? If it's such a HUGE deal, I'd think you'd want to do it, just to stop arguing about it.

Telecom - for the same reason they use a lathe to sharpen a pencil instead of a pencil sharpener.

At this point in the discussion, it should be obvious why cell phones don't have built in pencil sharpeners.

uh, one more thing. they need the remote. .......even if it doesnt work.

The TSA* again?
I'll put it down when you squish your own bugs

*TSA = Toilet Seat Argument

NOBODY expects the TSA! Our chief weapon is whining...whining and crying...crying and whining.... Our two weapons are crying and whining...and falling in the cold water.... Our *three* weapons are whining, crying, and falling in the cold water...and an almost fanatical devotion to Kohler.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as whining, crying.... I'll come in again.

In truth, Telecom, we often have to lift said seat UP, and manage to do so without getting upset at the task or that it was in the down position. Curious that the argument only goes one way.

Had a friend who was in this conflict to the point his wife was screraming at him. He removed the entire seat and bounced it down the stairs and said, "There, the seat is down. Happy?!"

Did said friend end up with the seat around his head?

Just curious.

I think she grabbed blankets and decamped on the sofa, which mad him happy because he did not want to lay beside her in that mood anyway.

LOL ! I am positively LOLLERING over here ! We are a majority male household, so this argument does occur on occasion. Mostly with the princess. (she has yet to learn which battle to fight) The fact of the matter is, I won the entire argument when it was decreed that only boys have to clean the toilets at our house. Including Big Bad Dad. I willingly go to Costco and buy latex gloves for this purpose, and gladly hand off the chore. And yes, ladies, it does include the ENTIRE toilet, including the base. Now if I could only get them to change the toilet paper rolls, I'd be in pig heaven.

You gotta admire Martini's friend's guts. You'd all be attending Mr. Telecom's booze-filled wake.

DPC - I squish my own bugs. It impressed Mr Red so much....... that he married me! He puts down the toilet seat with no problem. Now how do I get him to clean it?????????

My whole point is what is all the anger about? Women universally are enraged over this - I even saw Oprah get her audience shrieking about it - but the total effort involved is miniscule. I know whenever I heard this argument begin it made me want to spend eight days in a basement creating a pencil sharpener from an industrial lathe.

Typical guy response - "You don't like the way I'm doing something? Here, let me break it and make it worse. Happy now? Oh, and that's your fault, too."

It's like a temper tantrum with props.

Tele - I've threatened my boys with the same cleaning punishment. Their aim has since improved. And they always put the lid down.

The effort to put the lid back down is miniscule and, as Paisley points out, symbolic. Put it down because you respect and love us. Leave it up if you enjoy hearing us whine.

I'll tell ya, the whole "whose turn is it to clean the toilets" is kinda funny. But Mr. Telecom handles all that with his usual even temper. The firm resolve it takes to do this task is a joy to behold, and when they suck it up and get it done, there is much relief in Telecomdom.
I wash their poopy undies, and sometimes grace them with a folding of the t-shirts, so it all works out.


The effort to put the lid back down up is miniscule and, as Paisley points out, symbolic. Put it down up because you respect and love us. Leave it up down if you enjoy hearing us whine sitting in a P puddle.

Goes both ways.

Of course, I'm safe posting this because you are all discussing the Wooden Dialogue Generator up on the 24 thread.

*SMACKS Dread Pirate Chris*

*SMACKS Chris with the toilet seat!!!*


Brilliant, Siouxie. You put Chris AND the toilet seat down!

*sneaks in and props toilet seat halfway up*

*waits for irate comments from everybody*

I'm always amazed that a deep and endearing emotional bond shared between two unique souls fortunate enough to begin from a chance encounter can then blossom into a wonderfully entwined tapestry where growth is boundless and hapiness is a precious gift enjoyed mutually. So let's elevate a petty annoyance to levels that could threaten that balance. Magic.

MartiniShark that was beautiful. And so true. When things start getting on my nerves I just ask myself if it will matter in 10 years. Usually it won't matter the next day.

Factual Tale:

My best friend and myself were the only men in a busy lesbian bar. The place had only one bathroom with ten stalls, no urinals. During a visit I raised all the toilet seats. 10 minutes later the bartender came up and just said, "OK, who did it?" I raised my hand and she bust out laughing, then bought our drinks. Took half an hour of questions before I spilled to him what I did.

*flings 'p'@ Martinishark's 'hapiness.'*
Oh yeah, I complete you, buddy boy.

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