CSI: BAY COUNTY
Brady asked the man if he knew his pants were smoking
(Thanks to DavCat)
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Brady asked the man if he knew his pants were smoking
(Thanks to DavCat)
...only different.
(Thanks to Siouxie)
Man threatens police with pig's jawbone, court told
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
(Thanks to queensbee)
According to the Russian news
agency RIA Novosti, a mosquito managed to live 18 months clinging to
the outside of the International Space Station, without any food, being
bombarded by radiation and enduring fluctuating temperatures ranging
from minus 230 degrees to 140 degrees Fahrenheit.
(Thanks to catmanmax, who notes that "The mosquito of course will mutate into a monster that threatens the entire world.")
(Thanks to Siouxie)
Key Quote: "Anything that kills pigeons is good with me."
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
Are aliens controlling local rapper's brain?
(Thanks to Dawn Price)
British police nab giant rabbit
(Thanks to Ralph)
(Thanks to Ralph)
Tragically, there is no photo.
(Thanks to Andrea Davis)
Here is where we stand:
Last week, Jack, aided by highly competent FBI agent Renee, hatched a plan to use the innocent and trusting Marika as bait to capture her evil boyfriend African Subplot Dubaku. This plan was thwarted by the FBI mole, who turned out to be -- get ready for a shock -- Sean. No, we didn't really know who Sean was, either. He's just another in a long random line of 24 moles, hired under the federal government's Hire-a-Mole program. Sean had the police apprehend Jack and Renee, which means Marika, like pretty much everybody who trusts Jack when he has a plan, is now in danger.
Meanwhile President Woman President -- under the protection of Bill, who has replaced the Secret Service, which consists almost entirely of rogue agents -- is at the hospital, where her husband, Henry, is about to undergo dangerous but necessary surgery to remove his Screen Actors Guild membership. A new subplot was introduced in the form of the first couple's estranged annoying daughter, Olivia, who was fetched, blast-from-the-past style, by Aaron, who as you may recall was last seen shacking up with former First Ladies Martha Logan.
We're not sure what Tony is up to. We're also unclear on what happened to the Killer Death Module of Fatal Doom. Remember? Back in the early hours of this season, the terrorists were using it to threaten the infrasructure? Those were good hours. Back then we actually sort of understood the plot. Now all we know for sure is that Edgar is dead.
As always we're counting on The Amazing Steve™ to clear things up in the comments after the show. Meanwhile, here's a special bonus poll, paid for by this blog's share of the economic stimulus package. For some reason, both of the buttons say "Submit Query." As far as we can tell, if you click the top one, you get to vote, and if you click the bottom one, you see the vote totals.
UPDATE: Wow. Whatshername is also a mole. EVERYBODY is a mole.
UPDATE: "She's not an asset, Jack. She's a human being."
UPDATE: Marika is not the sharpest dart in the board.
UPDATE: Wait... maybe Marika is mole-ing Dubaku! My head hurts.
UPDATE: Another successful Jack Bauer operation, leaving pretty much an entire subplot dead.
UPDATE: I hate the Roger subplot.
UPDATE: Jack has a GREAT bedside manner.
UPDATE: Wow, a digital storage device INSIDE Dubaku. Some guys will go to great lengths to hide their porn.
UPDATE: Mole fight!
UPDATE: "Nobody's better at dealing with those servers than you are." That silver-tongued son of a gun!
UPDATE: It's a PX17 with the auto-erase function! DAMN I hate those.
UPDATE: Parameters!
UPDATE: Sean is a mean mole.
UPDATE: I think maybe Chloe is tricking Sean.
UPDATE: Sean shot himself, what, five minutes ago, and his wound has already been treated.
UPDATE: Erika was using narrow parameters. What a bimbo.
UPDATE: "It's over." Time for a new subplot.
UPDATE: Oh, get a room, you two crazy kids!
UPDATE: Everybody get ready for the cliffhanging shockeroo.
UPDATE: "If you're with me, meet me at the corner of First and Constitution." And wear a red carnation.
UPDATE: If the terrorists strike Washington, literally thousands of moles could be killed.
UPDATE: Next week: Two hours! Shooting in the White House! Take it, Amazing Steve.
Urine-soaked Fort Pierce man has beer on top of truck, gets DUI
(Thanks to Patrick Lenon)
Tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern African Subplot Time.
Guys know how to harness the power of technology to improve workplace efficiency.
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
Do not click here.
...this blog says: Wrong, dude.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
A man has broken a world record by smashing 47 watermelons with his head in 60 seconds.
Don't miss the video.
(Thanks to catmanmax)
Beer Pong Linked to herpes rise
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
Shark attacks drop; expert citees ailing economy
(Thanks to wiredog)
"I looked down and there was a ginormous deep-fried cicada in my chips."
(Thanks to Keli Minick)
It's fun and educational.
(Thanks to MichaelG)
They just interviewed Mickey Rourke on the red carpet about his Chihuahua.
UPDATE: The red-carpet fashion correspondent just said to Marisa Tomei, about her gown, "I have never seen such gorgeous pleating."
Kiefer Sutherland heckles a guitarist.
(Thanks to Gail Orsillo)
William Shatner wants to be Prime Minister of Canada
(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)
(Thanks to Chuck Cody)
Michigan man charged with swiping friend's urine
(Thanks to RussellMc and Horace LaBadie)
(Thanks to Siouxie and Joe Hicks)
(Thanks to catmanmax)
(Thanks to Ralph)
(Thanks to Ralph)
...guys are getting stuff done.
(Thanks to Sean in CT)
But here in Florida, she's just got her eyes squeezed shut.
(Thanks to Horace LaBadie, Kevin Meerschaert, Dan Fischer and Frank C.)
(Via Gizmodo)
Check out this forklift-safety video. It's a little slow getting going, but has some strong highlights. The 3:44 mark, for example, illustrates a forklift hazard that would never have occured to this blog without the aid of drugs. And after that it gets weird.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
Missouri man, angered over DTV switch, shoots his TV set
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
(Thanks to Horace LaBadie, Andrew Hoenig, Baron von Klyff and Andy the TropicHunt.com™ Guy)