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February 28, 2009
LONDON FASHION OUTLOOK
(Thanks to Shari)
BOTH THE WOMAN AND THE BABY WILL RECEIVE FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES
THIS IS A JOKE
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
THE FLORIDA BOARD OF COSMETOLOGY
Keeping You Safe From Fish Pedicures
(Thanks to Jos)
ATTENTION, MEN:
Now there's a girdle Core Precision Undershirt for you.
(Thanks to marfie and DavCat)
CSI: BRADENTON
(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)
WHEN YOU'RE TALKING CLASS
...you're talking Vegas.
(Thanks to SW and Joshua Orpin)
CSI: URBANA
Also: Eeeeyew.
(Thanks to SW and Horace LaBadie)
February 27, 2009
CELEBRATE APPROPRIATELY
Tomorrow is Sword Swallowers Awareness Day.
(Thanks to Jeff Kleinman)
SANITY-REASSERTION UPDATE
HEY, WE'RE ALL FOR THE ENVIRONMENT
But let's not get crazy.
(Thanks to Joshua Orpin, Mark Schlesinger and BillyJoeJimBob)
DO YOUR PART FOR THE SPACE PROGRAM
DENVER:
(Thanks to shlbycindy)
A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE IS ON THE WAY
(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)
IT DOES NOT GET MUCH WORSE
(Thanks to DavCat)
THIS JUST IN
(Thanks to Joe and DavCat)
MAYBE THEY WERE NATURAL BULLET HOLES
ART UPDATE
An artist in China has produced a set of giant bazooms:
We see this as an homage to the oeuvre of Woody Allen:
(Thanks to Siouxie and catmanmax)
CAREGIVER OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Siouxie and Onterrible)
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR MOBY GRAPE
The Psychedelic Bouncing Frogfish
(Thanks to Dr. Doug and Onterrible)
WORRIED ABOUT THE ECONOMY?
Here's something to take your mind off it.
(Thanks to catmanmax)
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
Now they're using octopi.
(Thanks to Guin, jj, jon harris and catmanmax)
THE VACUUM IS STILL IN THERAPY
(Thanks to Wizzy, catmanmax and Karen Bridgers)
SCIENCE BULLETIN
Anybody who has watched a dog take 27 minutes to decide which of two identical patches of ground it should poop on will be interested in this.
(Thanks to marfie and DavCat)
ALSO, YOU'LL HAVE TO BRING YOUR OWN BARF BAG
February 26, 2009
DOG TOY REPORT
There's a type of dog toy that's quite popular -- a long, skinny soft toy, made of stuffed terry cloth with a squeaker inside. Here's a picture of a new one:
These are great dog toys, with one caveat: you should not give them to an actual dog.
Because the dog will NOT REST until it has killed the toy and removed the squeaker (allow 18 seconds). Soon your house will be littered with filthy disgusting drool-drenched squeaky-toy corpses.
SPEAKING OF POLLS:
EVERYTHING IS AMAZING AND NOBODY'S HAPPY
Gather 'round, grasshoppers, and get a grip.
EVENTUALLY YOU GET USED TO THE SMELL
AND SHE FINISHED THEM OFF WITH A PINCH OF CILANTRO
70-year-old Elyria woman fights off 4 robbers with Emeril Lagasse pan
(Thanks to DavCat)
WE'RE NUMBER TWO!
(Thanks to marfie)
FASHION UPDATE
MEN:
GAINESVILLE
(Thanks to Horace LaBadie and Kay Myers)
February 25, 2009
CSI: BROOKSVILLE, FLORIDA
TRAFFIC UPDATE
Monster pig terrifies Hessian motorists
(Thanks to DavCat)
Wait a minute: Weren't the Hessians the ones who fought against George Washington? If so, the hell with them.
AND THE AWARD FOR HIGHEST RATIO OF BAD PUNS TO ACTUAL INFORMATION GOES TO...
(Thanks to DavCat)
WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
OK, you get a crocodile, and then you tape a magnet to its head, and then...
(Thanks to DavCat)
WE ARE OF COURSE FLATTERED
THERE IS NO PERVERT
...like an elephant pervert.
(Although this particular elephant could be training for a career in law enforcement.)
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
HEY, IT WAS A RENTAL
Larue said he started a small fire in the car in order to keep warm...
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
DROP THE FABRIC SOFTENER NOW
Woman Accused Of Breaking Into Home To Do Laundry
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
CELEBRITY CHEFS GONE WILD
LAW ENFORCEMENT
(Thanks to Mr. Gene Weingarten)
BALTIMORE
(Thanks to Bill Hudgins and dfjazzzz)