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February 20, 2009
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OW! Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.
*Crosses legs*
Posted by: wiredog | February 20, 2009 at 03:12 PM
went to sleep with an ex-girlfriend ... didn’t know how it got there... He and the girlfriend had been drinking
I think the above answers all our questions about how and why.
Posted by: wiredog | February 20, 2009 at 03:13 PM
Oh, I love to crochet!
Posted by: Margaritaville | February 20, 2009 at 03:17 PM
I'm trying to think how much rum it would take for me to "sleep through" such an act. I'm up to a case, and still adding bottles.
Investigators are looking into the incident.
"Hey Rookie, we got a job fer ya!"
Posted by: MartiniShark | February 20, 2009 at 03:17 PM
As long as they used the non-hooked end, this sounds like it wouldn't be a problem.
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | February 20, 2009 at 03:19 PM
Ok...even that's way too kinky for me.
Posted by: Siouxie | February 20, 2009 at 03:20 PM
This should knit their relationship even more tightly together.
Posted by: Horace LaBadie | February 20, 2009 at 03:20 PM
Well, he didn't pay any attention when I used the knitting needle.
Next time, it's gonna be the potholder loom.
Posted by: Betsy | February 20, 2009 at 03:24 PM
Also, we need to know what size (it's safe, go ahead {hee, hee} and click the link) hook was used. Too big, and "iiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww"; too small and they are actually rather stabby-sharp. (Mom crochets quite a bit, so I know.)
8 - F might be OK...
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | February 20, 2009 at 03:25 PM
I think he knows how it got there...
Posted by: gfunksizzle | February 20, 2009 at 03:27 PM
Do they know about the shrivel factor?
Posted by: pogo | February 20, 2009 at 03:28 PM
She was simply measuring him so she could make him a knitted thong.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2009 at 03:30 PM
Dear God, Annie. That's just wrong.
EYE BLEACH!!
*takes crochet needle and stabs eyeballs*
Posted by: Siouxie | February 20, 2009 at 03:34 PM
ATTENTION, HUMANS OF EVERY POSSIBLE GENDER
Huh? I thought urethra a male or a female.
Posted by: Danny | February 20, 2009 at 03:34 PM
It takes very fine motor skills to crochet that way.
I'm guessing.
Posted by: NotSherly | February 20, 2009 at 03:36 PM
It's not just your grandmother's pastime anymore.
Posted by: Cat R | February 20, 2009 at 03:37 PM
Alcohol and/or local anesthetic was involved.
Posted by: padraig | February 20, 2009 at 03:40 PM
knit one
purl two
Posted by: Steve Haller | February 20, 2009 at 03:41 PM
I don't want to think about this anymore.
Posted by: ron | February 20, 2009 at 03:41 PM
Maybe she was tryin to steal his kidney.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2009 at 03:47 PM
...stitch one, hurl two.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | February 20, 2009 at 03:48 PM
owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwiee.
but i do love to crochet.
Posted by: queensbee | February 20, 2009 at 03:57 PM
I'm from Limestone County
Drinking beers with my ex, waking up with a needle in my bone
I'm from Limestone County
Getting that needle taken out by people I don't even know
And linked to from Dave Barry's Blog.
Posted by: BoscoH | February 20, 2009 at 04:33 PM
LOL BoscoH!
Posted by: Siouxie | February 20, 2009 at 04:48 PM
Note to self - do not click on a link that the host tells me not to click on.
**rubbing eyes furiously**
Posted by: Joshua | February 20, 2009 at 04:53 PM
I want to know what form of alcohol was involved here, so I can purge the house.
*Wonders if the girlfriend had gone to see He's Just Not That Into You*
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | February 20, 2009 at 05:43 PM
*Makes list of possible genders*
Hey, there really is no 3! (2 and a half, maybe....)
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | February 20, 2009 at 06:14 PM
*snorks* @ Dread "sounds"...
*assumes fetal position*
Posted by: djtonyb | February 20, 2009 at 07:16 PM
Nice proofreading on that headline.
I love the ad for Bradford's pawn and guns which accompanies the story. Guess the guy should count himself lucky that it was just a crochet hook...
Posted by: deblemint | February 20, 2009 at 09:44 PM
TONIGHT'S TOP 10 REASONS SHE BURIED A CROCHET NEEDLE IN HIS URETHRA...ehhh, here we go, kids:
10. Trying to give whole new meaning to expression "What a needle"
9. Two words: Wounded Crosstitch
8. This'll be a yarn they can tell their..well, never mind
7. Some people tie the knot; she was trying to sew it up
6. There's got to be a joke in here somewhere about being pricked with a needle, but we'll be DARNed if we can find it
5. Sew what?
4. Trying to blanket him with her love
3. Wanted to make sure story wasn't buried in back of newspaper
2. He wasn't exactly sticking to his knitting, if you know what we mean
And the #1 reason she buried a crochet needle in his uretha...
1. Quilting bees gone wild
Posted by: Jeff Cotrupe | February 20, 2009 at 11:56 PM
TONIGHT'S TOP 10 REASONS SHE BURIED A CROCHET NEEDLE IN HIS URETHRA...ehhh, here we go, kids:
10. Trying to give whole new meaning to expression "What a needle"
9. Two words: Wounded Crosstitch
8. This'll be a yarn they can tell their..well, never mind
7. Some people tie the knot; she was trying to sew it up
6. There's got to be a joke in here somewhere about being pricked with a needle, but we'll be DARNed if we can find it
5. Sew what?
4. Trying to blanket him with her love
3. Wanted to make sure story wasn't buried in back of newspaper
2. He wasn't exactly sticking to his knitting, if you know what we mean
And the #1 reason she buried a crochet needle in his uretha...
1. Quilting bees gone wild
Posted by: Jeff Cotrupe | February 21, 2009 at 12:17 AM
Hey Meanie-here in NY the state says there are 5-female, male, hermaphrodite, transsexual, and "other"-we're complicated here!
Posted by: maryqos | February 21, 2009 at 07:56 AM
Another reason could be that she wanted to perform a cheap vasectomy.
Ok..you guys can uncross your legs now.
Posted by: Siouxie | February 21, 2009 at 08:51 AM
Thanks for the thought Siouxie but no, I cannot.
Posted by: JEC | February 22, 2009 at 03:47 PM
Maybe she thought of those ship-in-a-bottle thingys and figured, if I could get inside with a crochet hook, maybe I could 'hoist his mainsail' and he'd have a decent ship instead of just a lousy little dinghy.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 22, 2009 at 04:22 PM
Me, I like Urethra's music.
Dunno what the article is about.
*sticks fingers in ears-la la la- in case someone tell me*
Posted by: Ian Woollard | February 23, 2009 at 11:28 AM