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February 23, 2009


Here is where we stand:

Last week, Jack, aided by highly competent FBI agent Renee, hatched a plan to use the innocent and trusting Marika as bait to capture her evil boyfriend African Subplot Dubaku. This plan was thwarted by the FBI mole, who turned out to be -- get ready for a shock -- Sean. No, we didn't really know who Sean was, either. He's just another in a long random line of 24 moles, hired under the federal government's Hire-a-Mole program. Sean had the police apprehend Jack and Renee, which means Marika, like pretty much everybody who trusts Jack when he has a plan, is now in danger.

Meanwhile President Woman President -- under the protection of Bill, who has replaced the Secret Service, which consists almost entirely of rogue agents -- is at the hospital, where her husband, Henry, is about to undergo dangerous but necessary surgery to remove his Screen Actors Guild membership. A new subplot was introduced in the form of the first couple's estranged annoying daughter, Olivia, who was fetched, blast-from-the-past style, by Aaron, who as you may recall was last seen shacking up with former First Ladies Martha Logan.

We're not sure what Tony is up to. We're also unclear on what happened to the Killer Death Module of Fatal Doom. Remember? Back in the early hours of this season, the terrorists were using it to threaten the infrasructure? Those were good hours. Back then we actually sort of understood the plot. Now all we know for sure is that Edgar is dead.

As always we're counting on The Amazing Steve™ to clear things up in the comments after the show. Meanwhile, here's a special bonus poll, paid for by this blog's share of the economic stimulus package. For some reason, both of the buttons say "Submit Query." As far as we can tell, if you click the top one, you get to vote, and if you click the bottom one, you see the vote totals.

Is Marika going to get whacked?
Of course she is. She trusted Jack!
No: Jack will rescue her.
Yes, but she will come back to life, like Tony.
I have no idea who Marika is. I stopped understanding the plot in roughly 2004.
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: Wow. Whatshername is also a mole. EVERYBODY is a mole.

UPDATE: "She's not an asset, Jack. She's a human being."

UPDATE: Marika is not the sharpest dart in the board.

UPDATE: Wait... maybe Marika is mole-ing Dubaku! My head hurts.

UPDATE: Another successful Jack Bauer operation, leaving pretty much an entire subplot dead.

UPDATE: I hate the Roger subplot.

UPDATE: Jack has a GREAT bedside manner.

UPDATE: Wow, a digital storage device INSIDE Dubaku. Some guys will go to great lengths to hide their porn.

UPDATE: Mole fight!

UPDATE: "Nobody's better at dealing with those servers than you are." That silver-tongued son of a gun!

UPDATE: It's a PX17 with the auto-erase function! DAMN I hate those.

UPDATE: Parameters!

UPDATE: Sean is a mean mole.

UPDATE: I think maybe Chloe is tricking Sean.

UPDATE: Sean shot himself, what, five minutes ago, and his wound has already been treated.

UPDATE: Erika was using narrow parameters. What a bimbo.

UPDATE: "It's over." Time for a new subplot.

UPDATE: Oh, get a room, you two crazy kids!

UPDATE: Everybody get ready for the cliffhanging shockeroo.

UPDATE: "If you're with me, meet me at the corner of First and Constitution." And wear a red carnation.

UPDATE: If the terrorists strike Washington, literally thousands of moles could be killed.

UPDATE: Next week: Two hours! Shooting in the White House! Take it, Amazing Steve.


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Good thing Sean is delegating this vital task to someone reliable and stable.

is gonna. Oh, well.

Because sticking your head out the door of a woman's bathroom and looking around is less obvious than just walking out of one. Because either way - they won't have seen you...

Why is every woman on this show, except Chloe, so stupid??

Should never have shown him your motherboard until he left his wife.

Why doesn't moleman just wait at the door for the chip and be the "deliveryman"?

So now "Hell's Kitchen" has moles and sabotage, too?

Loudmouth...exactly what I just asked! ^5

Because Chloe is Queen of The Computer.


Jack would have shot them in the thigh.

@Wes - just having a commercial on during 24 infects shows.

She ain't even that hot, either...

Would'nt a flash card be fried by the defib?

Jack seemed to say that the Col. was still conscious. The Closed Captioning, however, said that Jack said the Col. was unconscious.

I bet Bob Marberg is having a field day with this traffic.

Why didn't Jack ship the infernal storage device to Chloe?

She has seen everything.

Was LaQuinta using the theme from the "Banana Splits" in that ad?

Oh! The exciting show is back.

Obviously Dubaku's flash memory is rad-hard. Lasagna-hard, too.

Loudmouth, shh! You're not supposed to notice those logic holes!

Our Fox news (Philly) will be featuring a story on "brain worms". Ahhhhh, sweeps month.

Pending slap coming!

So let me get this straight... Dubaku created a list to protect himself to make sure no harm came to him, He put that list on a computer chip inside himself, so that if anything happened to him, the list could be used against his, um, allies, only if something happened to him, the list would be destroyed or lost, making it useless, because if something happened where he needed to use it, he wouldn't be in any shape to. Now they've run several surges of electricity through the body containing the chip, and Jack gave it to a random guy we've never seen before to deliver it.

I see no flaws whatsoever in this plan.

Actually, it IS that easy for me.

Was it good for you, Jack?

OMG - Martini, you remember the Banana Splits?! ME TOO!! I LOVED them! (and yes, they are.)

Chloe! tx17 auto erase?

The Freckles Smackdown is coming...I can feel it! Watch out, Jack.

Oh, come on Freckles! This is no time to be having an attack of conscience!

That's why the first rule of computer forensics is to duplicate the drive.

Actually, that's the second, establishing chain of evidence is the first...

Man, he couldn't just use a normal SD chip embedded in his chest, he had to use one with auto-erase.

I think Blondie has PMS. She so...nervous.

Someone needs to smash the moles.

Why don't these two do what I do and just spill a huge cup of coffee on the mainframe?

"Keep an eye on Larry and O'Brian"... I just had a vision of Larry King and Conan O'Brien running the FBI. I'm watching too much TV.

I need to make a clean exit. Soon as you're dead, babe.

Blond Office Girl has done the impossible: she's demonstrated less common sense than even Kim.

Whack-a-Mole, Wizzy?

Diva, I credit them for keeping me off drugs. Nothing was as weird than what I saw at 5 years old.

BooHoo Freckles. Gonna rename her Care Bear.

Where's Agent Garafalo? DId she go wash her hair?

We did circuit three last week. Sexy.

You are stupid.



Hey, I loved the Banana Splits too!

And Chloe is too smart for you, Blondie.

Oh, we can hope, sly.

@Wes - awesome.

Parameters---- is that close enough to peremiters?

Works for me....


oooh, hard drive is reformatting. I love all these geektalk.

Diva!!! LOVE IT!!!!

Uh-oh! Showdown in the Mainframe Room!

Ruh, roh. Chloe is PISSED1

Chloe... defeated!

Okay, maybe I spoke a tad too soon.

Chloe can stop it

neck break

He's totally gonna killer her and trap her in there.

Such a dumb blonde

You ain't lyin', Sharkie. Those weird segments from the live-action serial featuring a very young Jan Michael Vincent and some weird guy who couldn't talk? Creepy.


I knew it!

Well, that stings!

I knew it. NEVER trust a man who says he's going to leave his wife!!

Wow, couldn't see that coming, could we?

Kill 'em Chloe. Dead blond walking.

This is no time to be making out!!!
OMG!!! I'm shocked. Shocked I say.

Moleman!!!!... you dawg!

Another victim of adultery.


"But we...were going to...merge video cards someday..."


Boy this sure makes up for last week. wall to wall butt kicking!

maybe it was a low level format

...And Sean the mole thinks quick on his feet, too...

Oh sure, blame it on the dead girl. Addhole.

are there no freaking cameras in the main frame room?

Chloe knows he's lying.

Chloe's not buying this, Sean.

*snork* @ Sharkie. ^5 Wizzy. :)

Wow, if Chloe can't get it, it's GONE.

"bleeding on your i.b.m. mainframe voids your warranty..."

well no one will think she was sleeping with that dweeb, he's safe.

If Larry had one ounce of sense, he'd kick Sean out on plain old suspicion. Needless to say, Larry does not have the sense God gave a monkey.

OK, Larry and Chloe do not look like they buy the story...

Wow, other than "server", I'm not sure anything she did actually made technical sense.

Damnit, Chloe, where's your taser when we need it?

Sean must've graduated top of his class from Weaselly Mole University.

*echoes Wes*

Well, simmer my headmeat, Dushku!

Chloe will ream Sean a new orifice, well, if the gods smile on us.

Billions for new FBI computers and this happens. Dude shoulda got a Dell.

Uh, that Dushku spot had me catatonic for a spell.

Bypass the safety protocols, reformat the hard drives of several servers, Swap out a NIC, in five minutes?!?

Never happen in MY datacenter . . .

Larry, Larry...is it possible that I may end up liking him like Ryan Chappelle? Let's have Jack shoot him in the head and see if I feel sorry for him!

well, eliza dushku is an alien,duh! wasn't her dad count dushku?

You don't know what you've missed, Raoul.

Mainframe. Server. Anyone recognize the pseudo-geekness here?

I agree, Dave. Chloe's got Sean brainmeat on simmer.

*snork* at insom's "Count Dushku."

...And the shot of the lovely Eliza Dushku from TV Guide - the one with her in a schoolgirl outfit - might well end up as my next screen saver...

The best defense is a good offense, Sean.

Besides . . . where the HELL was the Mainframe ?????
Man - 24 needs some SERIOUS GEEK consultants . . .

a one-time read, auto-erase device. sounds like a cool gag gift

Larry! You are so naive!

Sean is built like a train-spotter, no wonder the blonde was into him.

Larry, you dumbass, you don't owe him anything.

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