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February 23, 2009

24

Here is where we stand:

Last week, Jack, aided by highly competent FBI agent Renee, hatched a plan to use the innocent and trusting Marika as bait to capture her evil boyfriend African Subplot Dubaku. This plan was thwarted by the FBI mole, who turned out to be -- get ready for a shock -- Sean. No, we didn't really know who Sean was, either. He's just another in a long random line of 24 moles, hired under the federal government's Hire-a-Mole program. Sean had the police apprehend Jack and Renee, which means Marika, like pretty much everybody who trusts Jack when he has a plan, is now in danger.

Meanwhile President Woman President -- under the protection of Bill, who has replaced the Secret Service, which consists almost entirely of rogue agents -- is at the hospital, where her husband, Henry, is about to undergo dangerous but necessary surgery to remove his Screen Actors Guild membership. A new subplot was introduced in the form of the first couple's estranged annoying daughter, Olivia, who was fetched, blast-from-the-past style, by Aaron, who as you may recall was last seen shacking up with former First Ladies Martha Logan.

We're not sure what Tony is up to. We're also unclear on what happened to the Killer Death Module of Fatal Doom. Remember? Back in the early hours of this season, the terrorists were using it to threaten the infrasructure? Those were good hours. Back then we actually sort of understood the plot. Now all we know for sure is that Edgar is dead.

As always we're counting on The Amazing Steve™ to clear things up in the comments after the show. Meanwhile, here's a special bonus poll, paid for by this blog's share of the economic stimulus package. For some reason, both of the buttons say "Submit Query." As far as we can tell, if you click the top one, you get to vote, and if you click the bottom one, you see the vote totals.

Is Marika going to get whacked?
Of course she is. She trusted Jack!
No: Jack will rescue her.
Yes, but she will come back to life, like Tony.
I have no idea who Marika is. I stopped understanding the plot in roughly 2004.
 
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: Wow. Whatshername is also a mole. EVERYBODY is a mole.

UPDATE: "She's not an asset, Jack. She's a human being."

UPDATE: Marika is not the sharpest dart in the board.

UPDATE: Wait... maybe Marika is mole-ing Dubaku! My head hurts.

UPDATE: Another successful Jack Bauer operation, leaving pretty much an entire subplot dead.

UPDATE: I hate the Roger subplot.

UPDATE: Jack has a GREAT bedside manner.

UPDATE: Wow, a digital storage device INSIDE Dubaku. Some guys will go to great lengths to hide their porn.

UPDATE: Mole fight!

UPDATE: "Nobody's better at dealing with those servers than you are." That silver-tongued son of a gun!

UPDATE: It's a PX17 with the auto-erase function! DAMN I hate those.

UPDATE: Parameters!

UPDATE: Sean is a mean mole.

UPDATE: I think maybe Chloe is tricking Sean.

UPDATE: Sean shot himself, what, five minutes ago, and his wound has already been treated.

UPDATE: Erika was using narrow parameters. What a bimbo.

UPDATE: "It's over." Time for a new subplot.

UPDATE: Oh, get a room, you two crazy kids!

UPDATE: Everybody get ready for the cliffhanging shockeroo.

UPDATE: "If you're with me, meet me at the corner of First and Constitution." And wear a red carnation.

UPDATE: If the terrorists strike Washington, literally thousands of moles could be killed.

UPDATE: Next week: Two hours! Shooting in the White House! Take it, Amazing Steve.

Comments

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"Next week, the White House is attacked, and this is the episode that changes EVERYTHING!!!

REALLY this time, we MEAN IT!!!!

HONEST!

WE WON'T PULL THE FOOTBALL AWAY FROM YOU AGAIN, CHARLIE BROWN!"

1st and Constitution this show never follows the constitution. how ironic!

Was kind of fitting - made a lasagna for me and the kid tonight. I killed it. How Apt

All things considered, not that bad an episode (as we've come to expect). We got slapping, death, Chloe, Hot Bill, a car chase, an explosion and shooting. Just not from Jack, DAMMIT!!

Did you know something in advance, Sharkie? Hmmm?

All those who clicked on the "Edgar" linkie in Dave's intro, that is NOT a tomb typo. That is the proper spelling of Edgar Bergen's family name.

You are welcome.

We return you now to wondering what the hell happened to that thigh-slashin', plot-schmearin' show you used to love so much.

Yes, Gen, but that would be action I do NOT need to see.........

Jack has been de-jacked this season. Wah.

Dis-emBauered, so to speak.

I didn't do nuttin', Diva. Youse can't prove a thing!

Diva,
Brokeback CTU!

Drat, it's over just when I managed to get an over-the-air signal on my non-digital-box-upgrade TV with-no-cable-service-til-Bomcast-brings-me-a-box-sometime-next-week. From the 5 minutes of dialog that I heard, y'all should be submitting scripts.

"How did Agent Freckles get so high in government service with scruples?"

Answer: it's not her scruples, it's her awesome rack. Ask Larry.

Ahhhhhh.

I need a cigarette.

Night then gangers. Got typing and daquiris to work on.

Maybe it's because I finished all my wine during the NosCARS last night. I'm feeling grumpy.

There's more excitement in tonight's episode of True Beauty.

Really.

Jack shows up at 1st and Constitution, NW. Tony at 1st and Constitution, NE. The world ends.

I had wine tonight too. Mmmm. Wine, sexy violence, slapping, and shooting - it was good for me.

Well, kids, it's been fun as usual. See you next week!

*waiting to be amazed by Steve*

Oscars, GLow? I understand that they tried yet another new format this year, devoid of any so-called "clips" from those "moving pitchers" thingies that're all the rage.

Dances, I nearly shot the TV in the thigh, except that Hugh Jackman was in the way.

And, like I said, I used up all my JackWine (TM)

Night Sharkie, et al. Check back in the morning, by which time the Amazing Steve will have a shovel-ready stimulus package.

ShamWow, GLow, I didn't realize that TVs have thighs.

Dances,
They do, with enough wine saturation. :P

When you're out of JackWine, you're toast.

LOL @ dances' golden poop

Glad to oblige, Siouxie! For some reason, I'm also reminded of an old Doctor Fun cartoon.

Almost done! Hang on!

Steve!!!! ?????????

Let's give Steve all the time he needs- there's actually something to recap tonight.

Sorta

Always worth the wait....

Yo, people!

Previously on 24: Dubaku started to rethink his subscription to the dating site "eTerrorist"; Chloe thought the FBI had been sabotaged when she found out someone had installed Vista on all their computers, and she was right; Olivia, the presidential daughter, went running back to her mother and father when she realized that if they died, her lobbyist career would take a real hit; Jack and Renee convinced Marika that acting as a decoy for Dubaku could in no way end up badly; Janis started messing with computers when Chloe was in the room, trying to save her phony baloney job, not realizing she just took her life into her own hands; Agent Aaron showed up, quite possibly because a certain ex-First Lady is driving him nuts; Sean was revealed as The Mole, and thought he was kicking off another great season at ABC, but unfortunately for him this is FOX, where Jack does all the kicking.

5:00 pm – Sean's girlfriend Erika brings evidence of the warrant that stopped Jack at the police barricade last hour, and it turns out she's in on Sean's Evil Plot too. Sean tells her that he bugged the phone that Larry is using, and she flips her lid until she realizes he's talking about surveillance equipment, not roaches.

5:01 pm – Jack and Renee continue to argue with the police that they really are the good guys and are chasing down terrorists. Unfortunately, this is the exact same excuse that hundreds of motorists in the DC area use every day, and the police aren't buying it. After they get thrown in the police car, Renee points out that Marika is going to have a tough time dealing with Dubaku without Jack.

5:05 pm – Marika meets Dubaku, who gets really upset that she's got a Palm Pre when he doesn't. He tries to tell her that he's completely misunderstood, and that he's only a part-time psycho-killer from a fictional country. Marika realizes this all might be a silly mistake, goes along with Dubaku, and leaves with him in a car.

5:06 pm – The police release Jack and Renee, after getting word that Jack and Renee shouldn't have been arrested in the first place. Renee is so excited that she asks for Sting's autograph. Jack has to pull her aside to tell her that these police aren't the police she's thinking of.

She takes a phone call from Agent Larry who says he feels like a goofball, because Marika's phone went dead about 3 minutes ago. Renee says that's probably because it's a first generation iPhone with one of those lousy batteries. Chloe gets onto her computers and they find Dubaku's car via one of the traffic camera websites she subscribes to. After announcing they found the car, and fulfilling their product placement obligations with Jeep, they tell Jack where the car is heading.

5:07 pm – Marika looks remarkably calm for someone driving around with guy who likes blowing up planes. Dubaku continues to sweet talk her saying that he really wants to spend time with people he cares about, and with children who have machine guns, because he feels a lot more at ease in those sorts of situations. Marika does look a little worried still.

5:08 pm – Jack and Renee follow Dubaku's car long enough and in enough traffic that jack finally snaps. He goes four wheeling in a downtown park. There's a brief car chase until a traffic accident stops Jack's car, which baffles Jack so much that he tells Renee to get on to of the car to see if that helps.

Marika finally realizes that things aren't going to according to plan, and shows the driver the palm of her hand, in a very up close and personal way. This completely baffles the driver. He turns the wheel for a better look, and accidentally has an accident. The car flips several times. Jack gets so excited by this, that he runs towards the Jeep and shoots the driver to celebrate. Jack grabs Dubaku. The car's on fire and Renee goes after Marika to save her… They argue briefly about the role of minor characters on "24" until Renee convinces Jack to help get Marika out of the car before it explodes. They get her out of the car just in time for the car to do its impression of a Pinto wagon, and they're thrown to the ground. Jack and Renee are hurt, but Marika doesn't feel a thing, because she's already dead.

Commercial

5:16 pm – At the hospital, Ethan talks about various things that are going on around the world, while Mrs. President has a staring contest with a wall. She blames herself for what happened to Henry, since she didn't believe what he was saying all this time about their son's murder. She says she'll have to rethink all those times he told her about the Illuminati.

Bill comes into the room to inform them that Dubaku has been captured, his subplot is ending. Bill also says the bigger subplot about the government conspiracy in her administration is going to be harder to figure out without Dubaku. Bill wants her to go someplace safer, telling the president she shouldn't expose herself. Ethan starts to say that he wouldn't mind seeing that, but is interrupted when Mrs. President tells Bill that she might expose herself even more at the White House. She finally agrees to leave the hospital, because Henry's subplot isn't due to go critical for a while longer.

5:18 pm – Back out at the accident scene, people are busy covering up bodies with yellow plastic wrap in the latest Cristo performance art piece. Jack yells at a couple of paramedics to wake up Dubaku, because he thinks Dubaku is faking a coma. They inject the drugs into Dubaku, who finally wakes up. Jack threatens Dubaku's family unless he talks. Dubaku tells Jack that he has a "list", that he checked it twice, and it turns out everyone on that list is naughty. Then he passes out, going into cardiac arrest. The paramedics zap Dubaku a couple of times, bringing him back, while finding a metal plate in his chest.

Jack takes great interest in the plate, and he gets the paramedics to open Dubaku's chest up. They find an electronic storage device that Dubaku kept under his skin. This kept it safe, but made it extra hard to explain to airport security, and really inconvenient to read with a computer.

Jack gives the device to an Agent who is going to bring it to Larry. Jack gives strict instructions that only Larry should get that device.

5:23 pm – Sean hears this, panics and runs into the woman's bathroom. He's able to cover up for this by taking advantage of the fact that Erika happens to be in there washing her hands. Sean tells her that Jack found Dubaku's database, and things aren't completely under control. Erika completely freaks out, saying that she really doesn't want to go to prison, because it's "icky". Sean tells her that all he has to do is install Windows 95 on all the computers when Chloe tries to read the Dubaku database, and that should keep anyone from reading it. Erika suggests they tie the main servers together. Sean tells her that it would be a lot easier if they logged into the computers to destroy them, and she agrees. They share an evil kiss, and leave the bathroom.

Commercial

5:30 pm – Jack, Renee and Dubaku are that the hospital. Renee either got a wound on the neck, or is now self-conscience about a Larry hickey – either way, she has a bandage on her neck. Jack informs her that Chloe now has the device, and as soon as she cleans off the Dubaku gunk on it, she'll be able to find out what's on it.

Renee takes this opportunity to point out that Marika is dead. Jack tries to explain that minor characters die on the show ALL THE TIME. Renee still isn't used to this, and decides to give Jack a hard time about it. Jack completely ignores her taunting.

5:31 pm – Larry gives Chloe the storage device. She realizes that she doesn't have any Norton Delete File Recovery tool on the system she's on, since it's a Macintosh. If the drive gets erased somehow, it's going to be impossible to read through the inodes in the file system to recover it because they're not using a journaling file system. Larry is baffled by this, but says "OK" anyway. Chloe starts the download of the data.

Meanwhile, Erika is in the server room plugging in a lot of cables that have nothing to do with the task at hand. Sean comes in and watches some of the security cameras that are all over the facility (EXCEPT in the server room) to make sure that Larry and Chloe don't sneak up on them.

Sean gets a call on his cell phone. He tells Burnett that Dubaku has been captured, the FBI has the database, and that everything will be OK, despite appearances. Sean says he'll take care of erasing the database, and all Evil Travel Agent has to do is kill Dubaku.

Sean hangs up after hearing Erika freak out about why the computer isn't formatting. She solves this by "configuring parameters", causing the screen to go green, which is the universal indication that the drives are being reformatted.

Chloe realizes this, and she and Larry go running off to the server room.

Sean takes this opportunity to shoot Erika in the stomach, and himself in the arm and he slides the gun over to Erika. Since Sean doesn't do this every day, he doesn't realize it's going to be a little tough to explain how both he and Erika got shot when there's only one gun, and Erika seems to be the one that had it.

Larry asks what's going on, besides the obvious dead Erika on the floor. Sean tells him that "The Dead Erikas" would be a good name for a rock band, and then starts speaking in fancy computer jargon, which baffles Larry. Chloe doesn't look as convinced. She is convinced that the computer has been completely reformatted, taking all of Dubaku's files with it.

Commercial

5:40 pm – Sean and Larry are in the FBI infirmary where Larry tells Sean all the things that Jack told Larry not to tell anyone. Larry feels this is safe because there's no way that what happened in the server room looks at all suspicious.

Larry gets a phone call from Chloe who tells him that she was able to recover all the files because she was running a very recent version of SVN, and everything has been saved. The files were being decrypted all during the last commercial break, and she has everything. She continues to work on this while Larry waits.

Larry takes this opportunity to tell Sean that everything is fine, since Chloe saved the files. Sean takes this opportunity to leave the room as fast as possible, since he knows his name is going to be on that list.

5:43 pm – Sean works his way out of the building, and is accosted by Janis one last time. He looks just like anyone else would in this situation, very happy to get away from Janis.

He continues to try and leave the building, but is finally stopped by security. Larry slams him into the wall, briefly considers torturing him with Janis. Sean asks for a lawyer, and Larry backs down. Jack would never have backed down, but well Larry just has him hauled away to a holding cell.

Larry calls Bill.

5:45 pm – Marika's sister, Rosa, finds Renee at the hospital, where Renee tells her "Marika didn't make it. Marika is dead." She says, "I don't understand". Renee explains what dead means, and hands Rosa Marika's watch. This doesn't go over as well as Renee hoped, because Rosa really doesn't want that watch.

Jack calls Renee over to let her know they have the names of everyone involved in the conspiracy, and that they're going to have a giant arrest party soon. Renee tells him that she's very upset about Marika. She asks Jack if he's human, if he feels anything, asks if he feels anything. She slaps him a couple of times. She tries a third time, but Jack stops her, which is a good thing, because otherwise he would have had to shoot her. Jack leaves.

Commercial

5:52 pm – Mrs. President walks into a room where Olivia is waiting and explains what happened with Henry. Olivia wants to go see her father, but Mrs. President grounds her, and doesn't let her leave the White House. Olivia says something snotty, and the President leaves.

5:54 pm – Bill tells Mrs. President, "I have very good news". She says, "You can save me money on my car insurance?". Bill says, "No, but we did get a list of people involved in the Dubaku conspiracy." Turns out there are over 100 people on the list, and they should be making arrests within the hour. Bill points out that Jack was instrumental to getting this list, and asks that Jack not have to testify at the congressional hearing. Mrs. President shows her gratitude by saying "I'll think about it.".

5:56 pm – Jack sits on some steps at the capital, enjoying the view when Tony comes by. Tony tells Jack there's going to be another attack soon, and Dubaku's boss, Juma, is behind this one and things are going to start happening at 7pm. Tony only knows it's going to be "high volume, and high impact". It seems that the same senator that has been giving Jack a hard time at the congressional hearing has someone on his staff that has been working with Juma! Boy, is he going to be surprised to find that out! Tony's going to go after him.

Tony tells Jack that he needs Jack's help.

5:59 pm – Senator Mayer (also known as Senator Red Foreman) gets called to the White House, and questions that timing of the situation. Mayer wants Burnett to come with him to the White House. After the Senator leaves, Burnett gets a text message saying "Units in place. Operation on schedule." Something tells me Burnett doesn't want to be anywhere near the White House. Probably the look on Burnett's face. Well, that and the previews.

6:00 pm – Time's up!

NEXT TIME ON "24": JACK YELLS! ATTACKS AT THE WHITE HOUSE! TWO HOURS! LOTS OF BLOGGING! WAITING AROUND EVEN LONGER THAN USUAL FOR STEVE TO GET THE SUMMARY FINISHED! BE HERE IN A WEEK TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

Steve, don't hate me butt...I've been up since 6 this morning and worked till 7 pm and another such day awaits...

I'll read it bright and early in the a.m. when I can really appreciate it!

I'm sure it's as amazing as always!!

Niters all!

Yay, Steve!

Yay, TechBert!

Yay, bedtime!

*"Eunuchs in place. Operation on schedule."*

Steve's wrap-up is:

__ Amazing
__ Helpful beyond words
__ DRINK!
__ Way more plausible than anything in the actual show

~~~~~~~~~~
Submit Query
~~~~~~~~~~

Siouxie, get some sleep! This can wait.... although, you could read it and it might help you fall asleep! :-)

Thanks Annie, and Meanie!

OK - here's the sad part - I sat here watching (and working) for the entire program, and it wasnt until I read Steve's Amazing Summary that I realized that we get TWO hours next week - THANX STEVE!!!

(and HI MEANIE!!)

5:30 pm – Jack, Renee and Dubaku are that the hospital. Renee either got a wound on the neck, or is now self-conscience about a Larry hickey – either way, she has a bandage on her neck. Jack informs her that Chloe now has the device, and as soon as she cleans off the Dubaku gunk on it, she'll be able to find out what's on it.

Presumably the bandage covers up the bullet graze Jack put there a few episodes back, when he tried to fake executing Renee...and was then forced to bury her alive. Remember?

Although it looks as if Renee has acquired an even bigger bandage at some point during the intervening episodes, so it's possible there's a large and gross Larry hickey under there as well. Unless Jack put the hickey there during his and Renee's season-long courtship, which seems even more plausible...

They spelled Edgar Bergen's name wrong on his tombstone?? That's cold.

Steve, the bandage on Agent Walker's neck (5:30) is from when Jack shot her, faking her execution.

I missed live blogging due to work. Argh... I'm going to miss live blogging the 2 hours next week due to work.

Thanks judi and TechBert!

I watched while reading the blog comments.

Marika, the lasagna got shaken then died. Martini-lasagna shaken not stirred. Way to go Jack, telling Freckles to see if she can get a visual. She's lucky no one took a shot at her.

5:18 pm – Back out at the accident scene, people are busy covering up bodies with yellow plastic wrap in the latest Cristo performance art piece.

I guess I wasn't the only one that thought that was artistic. Always Amazing Steve!!!

I love the EMT saying that they didn't have time. At least they could have swabbed the area before cutting into it. I guess Jack was too ramped up to use the knife he used on Vossler earlier.

I find it ironic that Erika, let's tie the servers together, got shot in the stomach in the server room. Nina tied Terri up then shot her in the stomach in a server room. Was this the reason for the many Terri references? I wonder if Sean read how Terri died and did a re-enactment. Is is too much to ask for Sean to be Jamey 2? ;-)

Bill is hotttttttttt.

Freckles said she wanted to shoot Jack. Jack didn't believe her. I don't believe her.

Scully and Mulder pull guns on each other in "Ice." Scully shoots Mulder after he beats the crap out of Krycek and almost kills him. We saw what happened with them.

Didn't Sean give off Krycek's smug mannerisms when Ratboy was playing the naive FBI agent? I swear it's like the scene where Ratboy hits the Skyland tram operator or the scene where he's with Duane Barry after Mulder chokes him.

Tony... damn he's too sneaky. He met with Methos didn't he?

So the new MacGuffin's going to be Ryan's laptop? What are we calling First Daughter? Olivia's annoying... EVO? Extra vitriolic Olivia.

Sangala is an anagram of lasagna.
~~~ Mike on the poll comment

Dammit, I missed that.

So Ike did it all for the lasagna and Sangala figuratively and literally.

Lasagna, and Sangala, for that matter, are also anagrams for anal gas. Perhaps that might shed some light on something. (Hopefully, just light).

*Makes waves @ Coast*

OK, so Dubaku has the magic reader implanted under his skin - no visible scar, great surgeon somewhere!
How was he planning to get it out so he could do the W-2's for all his moles? Calling Arthur Andersen...

Between Dave's "here's where we stand", the live blogging, and Steve's amazing recap, I understand this show better this week than I ever have before -- and I wasn't even home to see it.

Thanks, one and all!

Steve, terrific job as always. Couldn't stay awake last night to wait for it - and though I knew there was no House next week, I had no idea that Jack would be on for 2 hours. Cool - i need to make sure I have lots of wine!

Snoork@Meanie, "anagrams for anal gas". Where would this blog be if not for farting and stupidity. Endless humor.

I have a feeling the first brat is going to hookup with tony during whatever is going to happen at the white house. After it's all over, tony doesn't want to go to prison anymore cause now he's got himself a hoochie mama. Jack is gonna spoil their attempt to leave the country even madame president hoodwinked the first son-in-law's plan.

Yay, found time to come read the Amazing Steve's summary and the rest of the comments. Thank you, Steve, for filling in the spaces...wonderful and of course, everything makes sense now! And learning something new--lasagna being the anagram for Sangala--has proven to me that the writers really really know what they're doing. ;-)

I love your recaps! How can you write such an accurate and funny as hell essay so quickly? you are gifted and thanks for your efforts.

Thanks, everyone!

Senex, I just try and write as fast as I can. :-) I try to have them finished within an hour of the ending of the show, but I'm a bit out of practice, so it takes longer sometimes.

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