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February 23, 2009

24

Here is where we stand:

Last week, Jack, aided by highly competent FBI agent Renee, hatched a plan to use the innocent and trusting Marika as bait to capture her evil boyfriend African Subplot Dubaku. This plan was thwarted by the FBI mole, who turned out to be -- get ready for a shock -- Sean. No, we didn't really know who Sean was, either. He's just another in a long random line of 24 moles, hired under the federal government's Hire-a-Mole program. Sean had the police apprehend Jack and Renee, which means Marika, like pretty much everybody who trusts Jack when he has a plan, is now in danger.

Meanwhile President Woman President -- under the protection of Bill, who has replaced the Secret Service, which consists almost entirely of rogue agents -- is at the hospital, where her husband, Henry, is about to undergo dangerous but necessary surgery to remove his Screen Actors Guild membership. A new subplot was introduced in the form of the first couple's estranged annoying daughter, Olivia, who was fetched, blast-from-the-past style, by Aaron, who as you may recall was last seen shacking up with former First Ladies Martha Logan.

We're not sure what Tony is up to. We're also unclear on what happened to the Killer Death Module of Fatal Doom. Remember? Back in the early hours of this season, the terrorists were using it to threaten the infrasructure? Those were good hours. Back then we actually sort of understood the plot. Now all we know for sure is that Edgar is dead.

As always we're counting on The Amazing Steve™ to clear things up in the comments after the show. Meanwhile, here's a special bonus poll, paid for by this blog's share of the economic stimulus package. For some reason, both of the buttons say "Submit Query." As far as we can tell, if you click the top one, you get to vote, and if you click the bottom one, you see the vote totals.

Is Marika going to get whacked?
Of course she is. She trusted Jack!
No: Jack will rescue her.
Yes, but she will come back to life, like Tony.
I have no idea who Marika is. I stopped understanding the plot in roughly 2004.
 
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: Wow. Whatshername is also a mole. EVERYBODY is a mole.

UPDATE: "She's not an asset, Jack. She's a human being."

UPDATE: Marika is not the sharpest dart in the board.

UPDATE: Wait... maybe Marika is mole-ing Dubaku! My head hurts.

UPDATE: Another successful Jack Bauer operation, leaving pretty much an entire subplot dead.

UPDATE: I hate the Roger subplot.

UPDATE: Jack has a GREAT bedside manner.

UPDATE: Wow, a digital storage device INSIDE Dubaku. Some guys will go to great lengths to hide their porn.

UPDATE: Mole fight!

UPDATE: "Nobody's better at dealing with those servers than you are." That silver-tongued son of a gun!

UPDATE: It's a PX17 with the auto-erase function! DAMN I hate those.

UPDATE: Parameters!

UPDATE: Sean is a mean mole.

UPDATE: I think maybe Chloe is tricking Sean.

UPDATE: Sean shot himself, what, five minutes ago, and his wound has already been treated.

UPDATE: Erika was using narrow parameters. What a bimbo.

UPDATE: "It's over." Time for a new subplot.

UPDATE: Oh, get a room, you two crazy kids!

UPDATE: Everybody get ready for the cliffhanging shockeroo.

UPDATE: "If you're with me, meet me at the corner of First and Constitution." And wear a red carnation.

UPDATE: If the terrorists strike Washington, literally thousands of moles could be killed.

UPDATE: Next week: Two hours! Shooting in the White House! Take it, Amazing Steve.

Comments

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This is about The Sopranos, right?

"Submit Query"? Is that how one applies for economic stimulus?

:-)

Or is there a glitch in the poll?

The Agent Freckles Power Hour. Beep-boop beep-boop beep-boop.

*luvs me some o'dat agent freckles*

Warning to other bloggers. One of the links in the narrative will take you to a picture of Barry Manilow. No warning or anything! And I'm not telling which one it is.

Wine: check! A lovely cabernet sauvignon from Woodbridge. From a bottle, Siouxie.

Dinner: check! Lasagna courtesy of some thing that all I had to do was stick it in the oven.

Disbelief: suspended!

Underwear: off!

I'm ready. Bring it on, thg!

Poll sorta worked for me, just make a choice and "Submit Query", whereupon you must answer again, and then there is a chance to "Submit Comments". I have a feeling they may not know what they have turned loose on their free poll site, but I'm sure we'll entertain them.

*prepares to watch Family Guy reruns and wait for Steve's recap*

Want a good 24 Live Blog? Stay right where you are. Want a mediocre 24 Live Blog? Stop by my place.

Marika. Is that WhoreMaid? If so, she's toast.

yay! 24 sure is...still on tv!

Forget Judi. Whoever stole the license plates off my car this afternoon deserves to be shot in the thigh.

Although the thief was kind enough to swap out a set of freshly-renewed tags for my almost-expired ones, so perhaps I shouldn't feel too upset. Still, this means I get to take a couple of hours off work tomorrow to deal with the DMV...so it's a wash.

By the time it's over, I'll likely want to shoot the DMV clerk in the thigh, too.

Ready to go! See you after the show!

Hey, everybody! I've only seen the last 10 minutes of House every week for lo these many years. Is the first 50 minutes any good?

Why do I feel like if House was given a gun he'd be shooting more people in the thigh than we've seen on 24 this season?

I think I screwed up my vote in Dave's poll...the ballot was so confusing that I think I accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan!

the hour that changes everything!?

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BOWAH POWAH OWAH!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("Pssst! Hey! Can you hear me? Shhh! Don't let anyone hear you. Stay quiet. I'm overe here! No, not behind the sofa...I'm in the bag! What do you mean I'm in 'JackSack™'? You're kidding me, right? You mean, THE JackSack™?!? NOOOO! You got to get me outta here! Jack's going to come back any second! PLEASE! HELP ME!") and ChloeSack™ ("ChloeSack™ knows just what JaneaneSack™ is up to, and we're not talking about padding her packets, if you know what I mean!")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This "24" intro was brought to you by ™. When sprinkled liberally across your typing, not only does it look like your work is authoritative, but it also makes trademark lawyers ROFLZOMGWTFBBQ!

And heeeeerrrrreee we go!

Hey, they just said "An hour that changes everything!" Maybe they're going to do a plot this week! Woo!


See you after the show!

This will be the Bauer that changes everything. We can only hope.

Hi everyone! Oh goodie, a poll!

Dubaku's first name is Ike? As in Ike Turner? Suits him.

Maybe they'll change villains.

If you keep talking about thighs, I'm going to need a cold shower.

This sure has been a great 9 week premier but I can't wait for the show to finally get started

Dabuku's name is Ike? Like Turner? No wonder he's so creepy.

I like Jack on his knees.

Oh yeah Last week was the episode where, in minutes, a federal warrant was posted on the internets without a judge's signature, apparently

Oh, Blondie's in on it too!

Hey, senator Red is back this week!

I've got my wine-in-a-box ready here, Suz ;-P

And it's CHILLED! pffft.

Ah, so Blonde Bimbo Office Girl is in on it, too...

...Will Garofalo make the mole trifecta? We can only hope...

Blond FBSlut is a molewoman too.

I've got my wine, and got all excited at the flashback when Jack yelled "GET ON YOUR KNEES, NOW!" woo hoooooo

Wow...could Mole Guy look any Molier? yeah, act normal indeed!

Ooooh, a Bounce Tap. That's why there's no static on the line!

dang... Randy Orton punted Stephanie McMone last week!

She's not even an asset!!!

"I'm talking about wire-tapped Lasagna, Marika. That's right, I know."

My Intertubes seem to be weak tonight. Don't know how long I'll last.

Shootin' needs to start soon.

Her asset is grasset.

The asset is going to be liquidated soon.

*snork* @ Ridley

OK - that's just my flu talkin'.

Hey all!!! Nice to be back this week. :)

How could you withhold your lasagne frome ?

Dead meat girl.

This is EXACTLY what happened to Ike and Tina right before they recorded "Proud Mary."

Carry on.

Suzy Q, tie your intertubes!

"I brought peace to Sangala."

Yeah...lots of pieces...a finger here...a leg there...

I brought peace to Sangala. I still want to bring them lasagna!

"Nooooo! Not my phone! Do you know what Verizon's crappy service policy is like?"

Does this under cover make my asset look big?

You know he luvs your lasagna!

"I don't know who you are."

"I'm Dubaku and I'll be your killer today."

Hey Ridley!!!

Awwww he forgives her...

she feel for it

SNORK @ tropichunt.com

ewww, she is a dope.

Free Agent Freckles!!!

...So Marika is going to end up in the Cherokee that turned into a blender in the previews. OK, that's how she gets it...

love chloe and her traffic cams!

We lost Marika's signal.

Where?

You weren't listening...we LOST it!!

Chloe is ON IT!

this will be a really fun episode for me because I only have one good ear at the moment anyway. I'm still hearing "Dubaku" as "Chewbacca."

Chloe will make those camera's dance

You can't stop the signal, slyeyes...

...Oops, wrong show.

They know he's trying to flee....wouldn't the FBI already have agents at all the local airports???

RIdley!!! I enjoyed your post on Nakedauthor.com

I want to spend time with the parts of people I really care about.

Note: Jack Bauer is doing this during rush hour

Oh, Jack. You really should have left the hybrid behind.

Wow, it didn't taker her long to get over the whole 'murdering butcher' thing.

Jack Bauer loves to get amped up to chase down his assets using the most generic car-chase music imaginable!

"Park it, Jack!"

*Jack speeds through a park*

"I meant stop the car, Jack!"

Jack morphs a Taurus in a Park Avenue!

Wow, there's more traffic now than we've had all season!

Zippy Taxi?

Car chase, but no shooting? What a ripoff.

This is realistic DC traffic--a welcome change for a show that never once depicted realistic LA traffic in 6 years.

*Professional driver on a closed course... Do Not Attempt*

Marika!!!!!! You are one bad asset!!!

Dang those Zippy Taxi's!

Damn it. Zippy The Pinhead's Taxi!

Marika's got some cojones

Um, yeah, got a visual on that....

And the next Florida Driver's License goes to.....!

ACTION! Just like that show 24

Finally! Some violence!

SHOOTING!! YES!! BLOOD!

And Agent Asshole is listening in? Whi invited him to the party?

YAY - shooting!!!!

"We need him alive!"

"Oops..."

See if you can maintain a visual!

Marika...isn't that the chick who sang "Toy Soldiers"? Heh.

Dubaku: MEEP MEEP!

You tell him, Freckles!

KABOOM!!

Don't leave Dubaku alone....he's going to disappear!

"I got Dubaku." Jack, master of understatement.

Cut the leg off

Man Jack, don't block the box. They'll give you a ticket.

Oh, WhoreMaid's toast...just like I said earlier.

KABOOM!!!

whoa!!! Agent Freckles is quick on the draw. I bet the bad guy disappears while they are freeing Marika.

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