PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST
We're thinking we need to do a caption contest involving the photo appearing in the news item (linked to below) about Oscar Mayer seeking Wienermobile drivers. Here's the photo:
Please suggest your caption in the comments. The winner will receive a bailout worth billions of dollars from generous American taxpayers. Or, if that doesn't work out, the winner will receive an item left over from the Holiday Gift Guide which judi will describe here if she ever gets to work, not that we are suggesting that she is a slackard, although we ourselves have been slaving away for hours.
Sauntering-In Update
We have to get rid of The lucky winner can choose one of the three larger best items:
2) The Disgusting Doggie Chair
(We will link to photos if we can ever find them.)
ADVISORY: We're going to cut off the comments at 1 p.m. Eastern Daylight Western Standard Mountain Central Division Time.
"I think we're gonna need a bigger cow"
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 09:44 AM
While Bessie wasn't looking, she got rear ended by the biggest wiener ever.
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlýff | December 08, 2008 at 09:46 AM
Oscar Meyer Brand Cattle Suppositories....formulated for extra, extra large cows.
Posted by: SpecialNobodie | December 08, 2008 at 09:46 AM
Everything I can come up so far is objectionable. I'll vote for siouxie's at the moment.
Posted by: pogo | December 08, 2008 at 09:46 AM
Hot dogs - made of all the cow parts you don't want to think about!
Posted by: sthnbelle | December 08, 2008 at 09:48 AM
This cow is intended as a promotion for rump roast, but a Weinermobile of this size is not an appropriate butt plug.
Posted by: 9 | December 08, 2008 at 09:49 AM
This is as close to beef as an Oscar Meyer weiner gets.
Posted by: 9 | December 08, 2008 at 09:51 AM
Cow: "WTFBBQ???"
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 09:51 AM
Poor Betsy knew she was going to be sore for days.
Posted by: RobertG | December 08, 2008 at 09:53 AM
Looking for the world's biggest cow ass? We have a weiner!
Posted by: 9 | December 08, 2008 at 09:53 AM
"Unfamiliar with the new Methane powered Wienermobile, Jennifer was unsure where to insert the gas line."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | December 08, 2008 at 09:59 AM
Move over Turducken! Witness the creation of the first ever wiener wrapped in a cow! We call it the Bulldog!
(Also, I love exclamations!!!)
Posted by: Atticusser | December 08, 2008 at 10:01 AM
Betsy, who always believed bigger is better, is having second thoughts.
Posted by: snif | December 08, 2008 at 10:01 AM
KY-Jelly - for all your romantic needs.
Posted by: Diva | December 08, 2008 at 10:02 AM
♫ Girl, you looks good, won't you back that ass up ...♪
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 10:03 AM
"I don't care what the sign says, there is not enough clearance!"
Posted by: WriterDude | December 08, 2008 at 10:03 AM
"OK, we've got the Wienermobile, Jesus, and the world's largest cow. What's next on the scavenger hunt?"
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 08, 2008 at 10:04 AM
After Before
Posted by: Reddsuss | December 08, 2008 at 10:04 AM
No, I will not say hello to a pork wiener.
Posted by: Olo Baggins of Bywater | December 08, 2008 at 10:05 AM
"Woman Crushed in Bizarre Beef-Mating Ritual"
Posted by: Braniff | December 08, 2008 at 10:05 AM
Public schools went to great lengths to teach students where hot dogs came from.
Posted by: Steve (The 24 Guy) | December 08, 2008 at 10:05 AM
Try again.
After........................Before
Posted by: Reddsuss | December 08, 2008 at 10:06 AM
"After hours of tough mediation, Amber was unsuccessful in her attempt to reunite Kevin Federline and Britany Spears."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | December 08, 2008 at 10:08 AM
When they arrived Oscar Meyer sponsors were surprised the rodeo was much different than they expected.
Posted by: Steve (The 24 Guy) | December 08, 2008 at 10:09 AM
"You want me to stick this where???"
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 10:10 AM
Shiela was later fired for taking students on that field trip to explain the birds and the bees.
Posted by: Steve (The 24 Guy) | December 08, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Space: no longer the final frontier.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 10:13 AM
Cowlonoscopy
Posted by: Cheesewiz | December 08, 2008 at 10:16 AM
"Look, I don't care what Spielberg said. The script says Odysseus used a giant horse. I want a horse!"
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 08, 2008 at 10:17 AM
Some have complained that the USDA's definition of "Free Range" was a little too broad.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 10:19 AM
"Police are advising motorist to avoid the fork in the road."
Posted by: Margaritaville | December 08, 2008 at 10:20 AM
Now, that's what I call a hot beef injection.
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlýff | December 08, 2008 at 10:20 AM
Oscay Meyer introduces their new line of Organic beef products.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 10:20 AM
EPA Mileage Estimates for the 2008 Wienermobile:
17...City
21...Highway
5....When Quadrupled in Size Due to Presence of Really Cute Cow
Posted by: Danny | December 08, 2008 at 10:22 AM
"Unbeknownst to Bessie, she was about to be branded and not in a good way"
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 10:22 AM
"Close... but not enough mustard."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | December 08, 2008 at 10:24 AM
"One of many rejected 'Lexus December to Remember Event' commercials."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | December 08, 2008 at 10:26 AM
Bob saved the day by using cow farts to fix the flat on the Wienermobile.
Posted by: Steve (The 24 Guy) | December 08, 2008 at 10:26 AM
"There's not enough KY in Texas to get that to go THERE!"
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlýff | December 08, 2008 at 10:27 AM
"We're gonna need a LOT more mayo!"
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 10:27 AM
um..kinda sorta icky psychic simul with Baron.
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 10:28 AM
Bob saved the day by using cow farts to fix the flat on the Wienermobile.
Posted by: Steve (The 24 Guy) | December 08, 2008 at 10:29 AM
Glad to occupy the same gutter with you Siouxie.
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlýff | December 08, 2008 at 10:30 AM
"Moo...WHOA!!!
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 10:30 AM
Likewise, Baron ;-P
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 10:31 AM
Satellite navigation technology should never be installed by college students.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 10:34 AM
"It was obvious Jan was not the longest Hotdogger in the bun as she struggles to figure out how to gain entry into the impenetrable fortress of Arby's headquarters."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | December 08, 2008 at 10:35 AM
You wanna know what fungi do in your nose? I'll show you what they do!
Posted by: Danny | December 08, 2008 at 10:37 AM
"Captured moments before: Cow-tipping gone seriously wrong"
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 10:37 AM
Ranchers were completely frustrated at Bessie's lukewarm response to bulls that could not measure up, until .....
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 10:39 AM
These two giant advertisements for meat illustrate the concept of "beef buy products".
Posted by: 9 | December 08, 2008 at 10:39 AM
"Oscar Meyer beef franks: Not just heavenly, bovine."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | December 08, 2008 at 10:43 AM
Bessie got bored with her old toy, which didn't have the front-bumper attachment.
Posted by: Danny | December 08, 2008 at 10:44 AM
Lawmakers demanding a radically retooled business plan as a condition for multi-billion dollar bailouts were not please with the Big 3 U.S. automakers' response.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 10:45 AM
"We're gonna need a bigger battery for Bessie's BOB"
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 10:47 AM
"Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener!"
*Poof*
"Oh, crap. Honey..."
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 08, 2008 at 10:49 AM
"Gentlemen, we have the technology. We can rebuild it. Leaner. Meaner. Wiener."
Posted by: Lou Bricant | December 08, 2008 at 10:49 AM
As Dr. Johnson aimed his videocamera through the front window, Dr. Masters directed the vehicle into place.
Posted by: Danny | December 08, 2008 at 10:50 AM
"Contestants lined up for prelimary heats of the NHRA Winter Nationals today."
Posted by: Hammond Rye | December 08, 2008 at 10:51 AM
Who needs a caption when you have a dirty mind?
Posted by: Chris S. | December 08, 2008 at 10:52 AM
Mad cow in three... two... one...
Posted by: Cat R | December 08, 2008 at 10:53 AM
"Why one should not use a Wienermobile as a cattle prod."
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 10:55 AM
Responding to criticism from environmentalists, Oscar Meyer officials announced today that the next-generation Wienermobile would be a hybrid.
Posted by: Danny | December 08, 2008 at 10:56 AM
"THIS JUST IN: Scientists attempt to stop methane emissions from cows"
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 11:00 AM
No, I won't look around, you are DEFINITELY NOT related to me.
Posted by: Edward Gordon | December 08, 2008 at 11:00 AM
Siouxie must have had her Cuban coffee this a.m. as she's on a roll.
Not unlike the weiner should be.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | December 08, 2008 at 11:05 AM
Before and after photo from the official Wienermobile Flickr group:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/32139918@N03/3007693693/in/pool-892779@N25
Posted by: Clown Puppy | December 08, 2008 at 11:09 AM
Because Secretary Paulson had struggled in previous attempts to explain what the big banks and brokerage houses had done to the U.S. economy, his staff prepared a visual aid that told the story in clear and graphic terms.
Posted by: Danny | December 08, 2008 at 11:10 AM
What the government does not want you to know about Area 52.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 11:11 AM
#69
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 11:11 AM
~Lookin' fer cowboys who love
big red weenies
Posted by: bahoola.hoop | December 08, 2008 at 11:16 AM
No one has come up with the obvious?
BOHICA
Posted by: pogo | December 08, 2008 at 11:22 AM
"Not without a condom you won.t"
Posted by: Mot the Hoople | December 08, 2008 at 11:23 AM
"Not without a condom you won't"
Posted by: Mot the Hoople | December 08, 2008 at 11:26 AM
"Wanna feel the earth move baby?"
Posted by: Mot the Hoople | December 08, 2008 at 11:27 AM
Experience the eHarmony difference.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 11:34 AM
Vote Larry Craig!
Posted by: Clay | December 08, 2008 at 11:37 AM
Ya know, I put my reading glasses on and looked a little more closely at the beef animal. I don't think it's an Elsie. It's either an Elmer or a Bruce the Steer.
Posted by: pogo | December 08, 2008 at 11:45 AM
This is why they made the world's largest roll of duct tape.
Posted by: Ned | December 08, 2008 at 11:49 AM
It seemed nothing would get the cow's buttprint off the windshield. Luckily, it was only 178 miles to the World's Largest Bottle of Windex.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | December 08, 2008 at 11:49 AM
Next on The Simple Life - Paris examines pregnant cow.
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 11:51 AM
pogo: NTTAWWT
Posted by: Siouxie | December 08, 2008 at 11:53 AM
What happens in the desert outside of Vegas stays in the desert outside of Vegas.
Posted by: Danny | December 08, 2008 at 11:57 AM
Susan's relief turned to horror when she remembered the Wienermobile's reverse beep had been broken for months.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | December 08, 2008 at 11:57 AM
Wienermobile driver displays world's largest rectal thermometer.
Posted by: Ned | December 08, 2008 at 11:58 AM
This was the last known photo of the Wienermobile driver before they went missing.
Posted by: RobertG | December 08, 2008 at 11:59 AM
"Shine On Harvest Moon!"
No, wait, that should go in the Lawn Rangers post...
Posted by: gfunksizzle | December 08, 2008 at 12:01 PM
Ranchers are beginning to worry about the overuse of hormones in agricultural production.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 12:02 PM
A graphic demonstration of what Congress is about to do to American taxpayers.
Posted by: Steve (The 24 Guy) | December 08, 2008 at 12:04 PM
Release of Woody Allen's Sleeper 2 is expected in time for the Holiday Season.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 12:06 PM
Since everybody got the internet, it's gotten harder and harder for Girls Gone Wild to shock the public.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | December 08, 2008 at 12:10 PM
But then Kirstie Alley realized it was only a dream.
Posted by: J-Lose | December 08, 2008 at 12:11 PM
This is why we don't let used car dealers make instructional videos on artificial insemination.
Posted by: Bismuth | December 08, 2008 at 12:13 PM
A spokesman for the Oscay Meyer company declined to comment on rumors that cutting edge biotechnology is used to produce the new MiniCooper-based Wienermobile.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 12:16 PM
Who says there's pork in the farm bill?
Posted by: Jeff Tompkins | December 08, 2008 at 12:20 PM
We'll be fine, as long as nobody opens the garage door.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | December 08, 2008 at 12:20 PM
"Oscar Meyer Weiners don't just plump when you cook them!"
Posted by: Margaritaville | December 08, 2008 at 12:22 PM
The new American Dream in the age of obesity isn't so different: a beautiful wife, an acre of land, a white picket fence, and three metric tons of processed beef.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | December 08, 2008 at 12:23 PM
Drive-Thru 2009. Get ready for it.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | December 08, 2008 at 12:27 PM
Dr. Ruth, animal sex therapist, demonstrates "zee veener in zee cow" method.
Posted by: Jeff Tompkins | December 08, 2008 at 12:29 PM