Dave Barry's Blog

SOCIAL NOTE FROM JAPAN

A Japanese man set fire to the hotel where he was due to get married at the weekend, rather than go through with the ceremony later the same day, newspaper reports said Monday.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan and Peter Metrinko)

NO WAY SHE'LL BE ABLE TO RESIST THIS SMOOTH MOVE

Man urinates on dog after owner spurns sex

(Thanks to RussellMc)

CSI: PARRISH, FLA.

Day of boating ends with man shot in buttocks

(Thanks to Layzeeboy)

NEXT TIME, THEY SHOULD PUT IT IN A CLEAR PLASTIC BAG

Eight flights at Logan Airport were delayed by an escaped poodle named Choochy.

(Thanks to bob Brogan and RussellMc)

IF YOU'RE PLANNING A PARTY

...you should definitely invite this guy.

Key Quote Indicating a High Level of Cluelessness on Someone's Part: Supt Hopkins said the man had not offered an explanation as to why he had attached the fire crackers to his head.

(Thanks to DavCat)

IT'S A QUESTION WE HAVE ALL ASKED OURSELVES

Did Kevin Bacon put the faeces in the ice-cream?

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

AND HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?

HUNT WRAPUP

Well, it was a Hunt, all right. Tom Shroder and I got the feeling that this year we might have made it a bit too hard. Here are a couple of reasons we felt this way:
-- Roughly 43,000 people came up to us and said, "It's too hard this year!"
-- It took a long time for the winners to solve it.
-- Stephen Hawking gave up after like 15 minutes.
Nevertheless we DID have winners, who will receive a fabulous trip to Amelia Island Plantation, courtesy of Visit Florida. And there were some fine highlights, the highest in my view being when the sheep flew across the stage over the symphony band playing on the big stage at the Arsht performing-arts center. The sheep paused in mid-flight and emitted two "baas," this being a tricky way of indicating tubas, which was a clue that...
OK, never mind what the specific clue was. The point is that there was a flying sheep.
Anyway, thanks to everybody who came out. We will make it easier next year, so everybody can tell us that it was too easy.

Update: Here's a video by the Miami Herald's Chuck Fadely explaining the Hunt.

Update Thanks to DiverDownDoc: Here's a video of the Greater Miami Symphony Band performance. The flying sheep appears at 6:53.

Update Thanks to Andy the TropicHunt.com Guy™: Here's a photo Andy took when I was explaining the Hunt to the crowd at the end. One of the puzzles involved giving Hunters a little plastic back-scratcher with a little hand on the end. As you can see, one of the Hunters modified his little hand slightly to provide some helpful feedback on the difficulty level of the Hunt:

THIS IS MIAMI

...where it is illegal to hold a public event without doing the Electric Slide.

HUNT UPDATE

Things are getting funky.

10/26/08

HUNT UPDATE

As usual, confusion and weirdness reign. Also a little rain is raining. But we have a fine, if somewhat confused, turnout.

HUNT UPDATE

Tom Shroder and I were having our traditional pre-Hunt breakfast in downtown Miami when we were accosted by this panhandling squirrel. I gave it my wallet.

THE HERALD HUNT

The World Famous Herald Hunt will take place tomorrow (Sunday) in downtown Miami, and you should definitely go. It's easy: All you need to do is gather together a team of unbalanced fun people, get a copy of Sunday's Miami Herald, and be in Bicentennial Park at noon. For more information on the Hunt, check out the official site, and also the excellent archives maintained by Andy the TropicHunt.com Guy™. I'll be there along with Tom Shroder, who is the co-designer of the Hunt and the person responsible for anything that goes wrong. When the Hunt is over we'll explain it and you can boo us, and then everybody can head over to the post-Hunt festivities at a place called Bongos. The winners of the Hunt will receive a fabulous trip to Amelia Island Plantation, courtesy of Visit Florida.

STRUMPDATE II: THE BOOKSELLER'S LAMENT

That's the bookseller, btw, just to the right of the eruption. Clearly he was unaware, at this moment, exactly what was happening.

(Thanks to Andy the tropichunt.com guy)

And here's a video of the same event:

In case that doesn't work, here's the link.

STRUMPDATE

Dave and Ridley danced their way into our hearts during the High School Musical 3 segment of the Science Fair book tour event.

And thanks to Andy the tropichunt.com guy for this close-up view:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMbgXqI0uDw

THE IMPLICATIONS ARE STAGGERING

The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure

(Thanks to jon harris)

STRUMPDATE

Ridley and I will be making a mess advancing the cause of science tonight at 7 at Books and Books in Coral Gables. Be there, or be dry.

A FUN PLACE FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY

Snake Monster Lake

Key Tourist-Attracting Quote: American Indian mothers used to tell children that a snake monster in the lake would yank them under water if they came close, LaLande said.

UPDATE ON FUDGIE THE RUNAWAY HAMSTER

Fudgie has been found. Also, this blog received a personal email from Derek Appleby, father of 6-year-old Zoe Appleby, who was looking after Fudgie when he escaped. Derek writes:

Fudgie came back up out of the hole last night. Now I just have to save her from my younger daughter (Kim, 3) who doesn't know the difference between a welcoming cuddle and a suffocating squeeze

PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE LEAVING THIS BLOG

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

FASHION UPDATE

(Thanks to sjhaller)

TERRORISM UPDATE

Spaghetti Vandals Perform Drive-By Saucings

(Thanks to DavCat)

CSI: ( )

We'll wait for the results of the autopsy.

(Thanks to Chris Lawson, queensbee, and Howard from Broward)

TAKEN TO THE CLEANERS

We are referring, of course, to the American taxpayer. Again.

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard and "Jeff")

NATURE UPDATE

Yikes.

(Thanks to sjhaller)

A BLOW FOR LIBERTY IS STRUCK IN SCRANTON

You have the right to curse at your toilet.

(Thanks to sjhaller and Karen Rice)

CSI: DANIA BEACH

Man brandishes BB gun after stealing deodorant

(Thanks to Lisa Martin)

SOME PEOPLE SAY FLORIDA LACKS CULTURE

This blog begs to differ.

(Thanks to RussellMc)

EXCELLENT NAME FOR A ROCK BAND

Mutilated By Mice

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SCIENCE FAIR UPDATE

The Blog with Sharon (wife of Schadeboy) and Schadeboy, who says, "I hope that they will be invited back to the Poisoned Pen even after they showered the ceiling with Diet Coke."

STRUMPDATE

Tonight at 7 p.m. Arizona Pacific Western Daylight Standard Desert Time Ridley and I will be expanding the frontiers of human understanding at The Poisoned Pen bookstore in Scottsdale. Yesterday, at the Book Passage store in California, we managed to damage a ceiling tile with our scientific demonstration, and we are hoping to equal that achievement tonight.

A VACUUM CLEANER?

Fire crews hunt escaped hamster

Key Quote: Two crews used a chocolate-covered camera and a vacuum cleaner to try and locate missing Fudgie at six-year-old Zoe Appleby's home in Dunbar.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

LIGHTWEIGHTS

This would never happen here at the Miami Herald.

(Thanks to Andrew Hoenig)

SCIENCE FAIR UPDATE

Here we are at Books Inc. in Alameda, continuing our important educational outreach program to teach young people about important scientific things such as molecules.

Although perhaps we've been on book tour a little too long.

(Photos thanks to Mary Lee Shalvoy)

THEY SHOULD PROBABLY NOT RUN NEWS ARTICLES ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE COMPLETELY INSANE

Yet they do: Woman gets back massaged by snakes.

(Thanks to Mahatma Kane Jeeves)

CSI: LIVERPOOL

(Thanks to DavCat)

UPDATE

TALK ABOUT YOUR BATTLEGROUND STATES

The state of being dead. Also a goldfish.

(Thanks to Danny, Laura Musante, Jon Harris, and Cheryl Howard)

BLOG ITEM THAT WILL PROBABLY GET SOMEONE FIRED

But it's totally worth it.

(Thanks to Sandy Coleman)

TOTAL FASCISM AND UNAMERICANISM ALERT

Police in Ohio say an 89-year-old woman is facing a charge of petty theft because neighborhood children accuse her of refusing to give back their football.

(Thanks to Chris Kaiser)

SAN FRANCISCO MUSIC-SCENE UPDATE

Here's an exclusive CrapCam photo of Ridley in the back of a car, holding a poster advertising a Nov. 13 San Francisco concert called "Wild Women of the Accordion." Tickets are still available.

STRUMPDATE

Today at 1 Ridley and I are at Book Passage in Corte Madera; tonight at 7 we're at Copperfields in Petaluma, also known as "The City That Is Fun To Pronounce." Petaluma Petaluma Petaluma.

We believe we are still in California.

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OUT OF OREGON JUST IN TIME

...to escape the Squid Invasion.

QUICK!

You've got three minutes to come up with a solution for the low-flow toilet.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

FOR YOUR NEXT PARTY OR CORPORATE EVENT

<Flute 'n' Veg

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

IS THAT SHRIMP IN YOUR PANTS OR ARE YOU JUST ________ ?

Fill in the blank.

(Thanks to NJ)

STRUMPDATE

Tonight at 6:30 Ridley and I will be at Books Inc. in Alameda, which we are pretty sure is in California.

NO MORE PLANT NOOGIES

A new amended law in Switzerland protects the dignity of vegetation.

(Thanks to DavCat)

DavCat also sent in this Science News Update

WE ARE GLAD WE HAVE A STRICT POLICY AGAINST MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE'S NAMES

So we don't have to blog this.

(Thanks to Layzeeboy and DavCat)