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September 19, 2008

EGYPTIAN JUSTICE

They don't mess around.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Siouxie)

BUT FIRST YOU HAVE TO SEND HIM $3 BILLION FOR 'POSTAGE'

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

WE ARRRRRR ASKING FOR YOUR VOTE

And if you don't give it to us, we'll take it anyway.

100_4287

(Thanks to Andy the TropicHunt Buccaneer)

TLAP IN ST. PETERSBURG

They be gettin' the Arrrrrly Bird Special.

(Thanks to Jeff "Desk Marauder" Kleinman)

IT BE ABOUT DAMN TIME

Google search be available in pirate.

(Thanks to Tom Galloway and Janice Gelb)

ARRRR

09192008050

September 18, 2008

AUSTRALIAN RULES

You can have a case of beer per day. But keep your undies on.

(Thanks to many people)


MOST JUSTIFIED FRATERNAL STABBING OF THE WEEK SO FAR, AT LEAST IN INDIANA

Brother says he was stabbed over Hot Pocket

(Thanks to queensbee)

CSI: SEEKONK

Bicyclist arrested while carrying stolen goat

(Thanks to xmnr)

THE WORLD REJOICES

Hairy-nosed otter spotted

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

REMEMBER WHAT TOMORROW IS?

Arrrrrrrr,

THAT NARROWS IT DOWN TO EIGHT JILLION GUYS

Pinellas County police are looking for a man with a belly.

(Thanks to Kay Myers)

POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR THE REAL-ESTATE SLUMP

(Thanks to Liz Martin)

MAYBE HE WAS PLANNING TO SELL THEM TO THE GUY LOOKING FOR THE SOVIET NUCLEAR COW

A Waterford man told police his crack cocaine habit drove him to steal nearly 250 empty beer cans from a 7-Eleven store.

(Thanks to Dogg Fish and Siouxie)

WAIT... YOU MEAN THIS DOESN'T WORK?

Doctor convicted of giving patients breast massages - to cure their hair loss

(Thanks to Siouxie)

THE ECONOMY IS IN TROUBLE, AND THAT MEANS...

...you need to be productive.

(Thanks to Bulldog)

CULINARY UPDATE FROM SWITZERLAND

Yuck.

This has been your Culinary Update From Switzerland.

(Thanks to Siouxie)

WE BET HE DOES

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

HMMM

Winner of free funeral in Italy 'has not claimed prize'

(Thanks to shhaller)

THEY DON'T WANT TO GET ANY CLOSER

Scientists to count kangaroo rats from outer space

(Thanks to RussellMc and Mark Schlesinger)

SPORTS UPDATE FROM ENGLAND

One-legged transsexual darts ace told to hop it

(Thanks to Andrew Hoenig)

IT PROBABLY HAPPENS EVERY DAY

Key Totally Believable Explanation: According to the boy, the fish slipped into his penis while he was cleaning his aquarium at home.

UPDATE: Here's a much more complete story from -- needless to say -- The Sun.

(Thanks to sjhaller)

BREAKING COLD-WAR UPDATE

According to this fascinating story, Knoxville police found a man in a museum air duct who claimed he was a special agent of the "United States Illuminati" on a secret mission to "defuse and confiscate" a Soviet nuclear warhead concealed in a blue plastic sculpture of a cow.

(Thanks to DavCat and Bill Hudgins and Jeff Meyerson and Siouxie and Heather Mays)

September 17, 2008

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

Frog From Hell

THIS BLOG COULD NOT AGREE MORE

Please stop curling in the squat rack.

INDIAN WEDDING RITUAL OF THE WEEK SO FAR

A lot of ingredients are involved: Bride mother in law welcome bride by droping few drop of mustard oil on main door of home .Bride is welcomed to her new home by traditional arti perform by her mother in law.As per rituals she kicks rice filled in pot after that bride puts her right foot onto a tray of vermilion powder mixed in water or milk, representing the arrival of good fortune and purity and she is ask not to look back which  symbolize the arrival of fertility and wealth in her marital home.

(Thanks to Claire Martin, who notes this is "not how MY mother-in-law greeted me.")

AUSTRALIAN POLITICAL UPDATE

Moo.

(Thanks to DavCat)

MAYBE THERE SHOULD BE SOME KIND OF FEDERAL AGENCY TO OVERSEE... NO, WAIT...

Audit: ATF lost 76 weapons, hundreds of laptops

(Thanks to andrew Hoenig)

INCREDIBLY, ALCOHOL MAY HAVE BEEN INVOLVED

Skuza said the man thought the picture would be better if he got closer to the train.

Key Medical Condition We Never Heard Of Before:
"Train Rash"

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Train Rash Update: It's an epidemic.

(Thanks to alan)

STRONG NAME FOR A ROCK BAND

Subtle Butt

(Thanks to gretchencs)

VIRGIN MARY UPDATE

Apparently she's in a gang.

(Thanks to sjhaller)

WE NEED ALL AVAILABLE FIREFIGHTING UNITS, AND 700 DOZEN EGGS

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

UPDATE ON THE HURRICANE-REFUGEE LION

Key Reassuring Quote: "When you have to swim, the lion doesn't care about eating nobody."

(Thanks to mama723)

ADVISORY TO ARMED ROBBERS

Do your research.

(Thanks to Cynth Arnold)

ATTENTION, FOOTBALL FANS

No pass is a good pass, when it comes to passing intestinal gas.

September 16, 2008

SQUIRREL TERRORISM UPDATE

Even for the little furred bastards, this is low.

Update: They have allies.

Update: And we are not so sure that this so-called "pet" is not involved.

POLITICS UPDATE

The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator

Mine is Slicer Mission Palin.

(Thanks to WayneHere)

UPDATE FROM GERMANY

It's looking bad over there:

We frankly doubt that France can hold out much longer.

(Thanks to Brad)

SOUNDS LIKE THE START OF AN EXCELLENT NEW TRADITION

A groom is accused of throwing a knife at his wedding reception and injuring a young man wrapped in duct tape.

(Thanks to Andrew Hoeniig)

WHY WE LOVE NEW YORK

The sophistication.

(Thanks to Meanie the Blue)

GOOD BOY!

"Man's best friend" may not cut it for a Scottsdale dog named Buddy - a trained German shepherd who saved his owner's life by dialing 911 when he began having a seizure, police said Sunday.

(Thanks to Jim Taszarek)

SCIENCE LUNGES AHEAD

German scientists discover 120-million-year-old ant

Thanks to Andrew Hoenig, who notes:

1) Unfortunately, they discovered the ant by stepping on it.
2) They discovered the ant when they noticed a 120-million-year-old picnic disappearing.

3) Scientists have already decoded the meaning of the ant's complex dancing and antennae waving to mean "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn."

Andrew will be here all week.

Update:

Dan sent in a link to a story calling it an Ant From Mars.

1_61_080915_martialis_ant

If you want this blog's opinion, all ants are from Mars.

ESTABLISH YOUR PERIMETER NOW

(Thanks to Sharon)

OK, BUT ONLY IF YOU ALSO TAKE OUT THE 'SMALL WORLD' DOLLS

(Thanks to DavCat)

THEY WILL BOTH RECEIVE FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Man Charged With DWI While Driving Friend To DWI Hearing

(Thanks to Mike S)

ADVISORY TO MEN:

Just do the dishes.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Siouxie)

CSI: FORT MILL

Alcohol may have been involved.

(Thanks to DavCat)

EMERGENCY MEDICAL CAREGIVER OF THE WEEK SO FAR

An ambulanceman put a prawn on the chin of a heart-attack patient about to be given an electric shock — and joked: “Let’s see if we can cook this,” a medical panel heard yesterday.

(Thanks to DavCat)

HE HAS OUR VOTE

(Thanks to Sarah Stoeffler)

DO NOT BE FOOLED BY IMITATIONS

The Real Virgin Mary Grape:

A8cb_2

(Thanks to Mahatma Kane Jeeves)

 
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