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September 24, 2008


We are all in jeopardy.

(Thanks to DavCat)


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"The investigating officer remarked in the criminal complaint that the odor was very strong. The officer also remarked that his own fartage always smelled like lavender. That is the control he used to determine this."

Battery? Yikes! Will that stand up in court? Sounds like his pants might at least.


Not foist.

Your honor, I object. A battery is an "un-permitted touching". My client did not touch the officer.

yuck! beer f*rts! bleah.

FIRST to say I a NOT related to this man.

um...mebbe not.

*adds m up there*

Now he was being finger printed at the time and my guess is the officer pulled his finger. NOT GUILTY!!!

Ass-ault with a silent butt deadly weapon?

Wouldn't that be more of an air pollution related offense as opposed to battery?

(Goes to check law books in my library. Remembers I don't have a library)

*snork at R2A*

*checks out mug shot. Nope, not mud. Whew!*


Can you make a citizen's arrest for that?

Um, not to change the subject or anything, but doesn't somebody have to get ready for work?

LOL ExAddict!

(psssst Cat?? I've got my camera ready)

Oooh, Siouxie, good job!

Was he advised of his right to remain silent?

I wonder if he'll get the gas chamber.

I'll take "Potent Pootables" for $200, Alex.

How do you plead?

Guilty with an effluviation.

Dave's worst nightmare...

Ass-salt with intent to smell is a mist-demeanor.

I hope he eats lots of beans the night before his next court appearance. See how funny the judge finds it.

That just stinks.

What a flatulating story.

Steve, don't let that out!

What the story doesn't say is that the cop's father was a hamster and his mother smelt of elderberries. Charges were pressed before the cop could be taunted a second time.

Did they call this wind "Maria"?


So...I guess he farted in the cop's general direction?

Bravely bold Jose Cruz rode forth from Charleston.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Jose.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Bravely, bravely, farted brave Sir Jose!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Jose!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--

"I think that's enough singing,lads..."


Sounds like someone needs a good butt stapling.

*scatters Snorks across the comments, says "excuse me"*

I'm sorry to hear Whole Foods doesn't offer plastic bags. This could be a problem...

That article said somethin' about "obstruction" ...

Whut I'm wonderin' is ... if he had an obstruction ... how could he ... um ...

OH? Really?

Nevermind ...

Oh great. Not only is Big Brother watching us, but he's smelling us, too.

BTW, can anyone tell me where does the charge of obstruction came from?

I meant 'come from'.

From the comments:

I guarantee they will use this story as the basis for an episode of "Law & Odor"


Did the cop capture any evidence?

"Of course I farted. You don't think I smell like this all the time, do you?"

I smell a rat...or a gerbil led horribly astray.

When do we get our first pictures of The Blog at work?

Steve, I send judi the photos. So....soon??

And I SENT them too ...sheesh.

Steve?? (if you want to see them before, drop me a line and I'll email you the link)

Oh, I think I can wait and see the grand presentation, which now that I think of it would make for a really cool caption contest (you with me, judi?) -- Butt, if she does something mischievous like Photoshopping Barry Manilow's head on Dave's body, I'm outta here...

Your honor, I object. A battery is an "un-permitted touching". My client did not touch the officer.

Posted by: pogo | 11:32 AM

Absolutely correct, pogo. So they'll never make these charges stick... thinks about how that last sentence sounds... guys don't say "eeewwwww!," but in this case, I'm making an exception... eeewwwww!

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