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September 30, 2008


Here I am explaining my economic bailout plan to a typical American taxpayer.


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Where do I sign up to volunteer? Dave is a far better option than anyone else out there right now. At least he is willing to tackle the tough issues, like low flow toilets!

I agree with that taxpayer.

Will all that crap in the background fit in the Oval Office?

i think this guy will recover as long as he can still afford to shampoo with head and shoulders.

Now's the time to invest in the economic basics, so I'm putting everything into MREs and shotguns.

He probably understands it better than I do!

Man, I really need to get some of those bumper stickers.

Will there be a chicken in every pot, Dave?

Nice to see that Dave carries his bumper stickers wherever he goes. He must keep them in a case or something, so nice and straight and crisp! Or maybe he has a lackey carrying the Bumper Sticker Case who accompanies him to all public outings.

Punkin (smoooch BFF!!) I'll settle for pot in every household.

Um..I mean A pot, of course.

BFF - Pot in every chicken??? DINNER AT MY HOUSE!!!

(Bring the Cheetos™!)

Yeah, suuurrrrre Siouxie... I like your idea better. Or a chicken in every car. I can't decide which...

eilbeback - make sure those chickens have Florida drivers licenses.

Going for the headless vote?

If I understand Dave's plan correctly, it includes the provision that every man, woman and child's bar tab for the next seven years will be paid by the U.S. government once the Treasury completes its purchase of all the financial firms.

Is that Jesus, golfing with children, next to Dave's arm?

Coq au vin? It includes wine, which is one of my basic food groups.

Hmmm, where's the magnifier when you need it? Well, even that didn't help - it looks suspiciously like a Michael Jackson figure- holding his crotch, of course. I'm not certain what the orange haired thing is, male or female, or what the heck it's doing!

My absentee ballot arrived in the mail and it has a very tempting line for write-in votes...

Yes, Kathybear. It's a former Turner Commission finalist entitled, "Jesus Saves (your four strokes off your game)."

"your four strokes.." sheesh. Jesus hates typos. The devil made me dew it.

Woof. I can see his boogers.

By golly, Cat, you're right. It is Jesus; helping a little girl work on her swing, with a boy caddying by His side. Originally, when I enlarged it, I thought he was giving her the Heimlich maneuver, but then I saw the leetle golf club, which explained the kid with the golf bag.

from the 2002 gift guide:


judi's linky

Jesus does play golf!

Reminds me of the joke:

Jesus and Moses decide they're bored playing the golf courses in heaven, so they come down to Earth to play Augusta. Things go fine until the get to the 13th hole... After driving straight down the fairway 250 yds, Jesus is facing another 150 yds across a water hazard.

Jesus: "Give Me My 9 iron."
Moses: "Jesus, you can't hit 150 yds with a 9 iron, use your 7..."
Jesus: "Just give me the 9 iron!"
Moses: "Only Arnold Palmer could make that shot with a 9 iron!"
Jesus: "Ahem, 9 iron, please?"

Moses gives him the 9 iron, and Jesus hits right into the middle of the water hazard. So, He walks out on the water, peers down, finds His ball, reaches down to get it, and comes back to try again.

Moses: "So, I guess you want your 7 iron?"
Jesus: "No, I'm using my 9 iron."
Moses: "Jesus, I told you, only Arnold Palmer could make this shot with a 9 iron!"

Jesus takes the shot, same result. Tries it again, with Moses again saying, "Jesus, ONLY Arnold Palmer could make that shot with a 9 iron." Same result.

Jesus again walks on the water to look for His ball. Another golfer comes over to Moses, sees Jesus walking on water, and asks, "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?" Moses says, "No, He IS Jesus Christ, He THINKS He's Arnold Palmer!"

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