FINAL REPORT FROM THE DNC

Are you ready to rock and roll?

Comments

[BoscoH]

Final score: Bill Clinton's waggy finger 28. Bill Clinton's cigar: 0.

[Siouxie]

LOL great column!

Arugula Snob and the Hairplug Buffoons WBAGNFARB and a double SNORK for...Then Hillary Clinton magically appeared, like Glinda in the Wizard of Oz except wearing a pantsuit.

Can't wait for next week.

[Suzy Q]

Haven't read the column, and yet, I am 3rd.

[Annie Where-but-here]

4th,perhaps, and read it. Every time Dave says he's 'on the convention floor,' I wanna prop him back up and get him a fresh beer.

Double-whammy snorks for 'Republican delegates, who always look like they're subjects in some kind of cruel mass experiment involving random-firing high-voltage buttock probes.'

[Kathybear]

Just *snork*... Hee, hee, hee...

[NotSoShyJan]

Just to show how closely I am following the parties, the Republican convention is next week? Where is it?

More fun to follow the juggernaut.

[Wahooligan]

Whatever.

[CJrun]

Acclaim? Whatever. Bring on the Toga Party!

[WriterDude]

NSSJ -- it's in Minneapolis/St. Paul, where McCain is expected to start at quarterback for the Vikings.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Yes! Brilliant Dave, especially since we agree on the high point of any convention: the roll call of states.

I was praying to hear, "The great state of Iowa, home of corn and p0rn..." but no such luck.

Maybe in St. Paul.

[Siouxie, doing the conga]

LMAO I know, Annie. I'm gonna hafta start learning them some salsa moves. OY!

[fivver]

Whatever, it's a field goal

Obama splits the uprights? I thought that was Bill's forte. IYKWIM

[CJrun]

Hey, Repubes dance just fine! It's Delegates that need cattle prods. Heck, they're just like protestors; if they were otherwise useful they'd be busy!

[mudstuffin]

indeed, cj. dave (the other dave) letterman had been running little five second clips called "the delegate of the night" which feature some rube in a suit smiling and dancing like al gore (remember that sight?) which has been pretty damn entertaining.

(spoken as a funky-once-sang-for-punk-band-independant-that-still-most-of-the-time-votes-republican-and-married-one non-delegate)

[frodolives]

OMG, fiv!

Have to give you a ® frodolives request to throw a few bucks my way to pay for the computer I need to buy after SNORKING beer all over this one!

[baligurl]

fivver, you got me, too. Didn't see that coming. HEY! WAIT!

[CJrun]

Meh. Too sleepy to make last for the Toga Party, or even the rest of the action at Pointy Ball stadiums. However, I'm noticing an interesting pattern: it's late in the last preseason game and most of the players on the fields have no chance of making a roster spot. Everybody has to cut 22 players by Saturday to get down to 53. Now, if your cut, your cut. But, if your injured, then you can get an Injury Settlement, before you're cut.

It looks like a soccer game, out there. I have never seen so many 'knee injuries' in a 20 minute period in my life. It's like Tanya Harding has unleashed a swarm of Giloolys.

Nigh tall.

[frodolives]

Has to bitch-slap remind CJ, "Now if you're (not your) cut...)

[baligurl]

SNORK@CJ's "swarm of Giloolys"! Dang, that was gorgeous!

[Annie Where-but-here]

*wonders if any of those 'pretend to care about the election' pointers can be used for pointy ball*

[baligurl]

Of course they can, Annie. If you count their pointy heads.

[frodolives]

fiv, you might try this...

[baligurl]

I don't get it.

[frodolives]

what don'tcha get, bali?

[Recovering 24 Addict]

I just realized something Dave was there 45 years ago for I Have a Dream and he was there tonight what an amazing bookend.

[fivver]

Wow! Great shot. On another topic you folks in LA and FL duck. Mother Nature's going for the seven/ten split and she's using two balls.

[frodolives]

*SNORKS!!!! fivver:*

And 24, isn't this date the anniversary of the "I have a dream..." speech?

[Siouxie]

*ducking and almost hunkering*

CJ??? hopefully you don't remember last night's shenanigans. It was bali's idea!

[Annie Where-but-here]

bring it on, fiv...it hasn't rained here in LA since CJ made sense.
*ducks bali, hunkers Siouxie*

[Annie Where-but-here]

Forgot - CJ is busy watching Barack commemorate the 45th anniversary of MLK's speech.

[Cat R]

Well, that was fun. My daughter and I got a kick out of the number of "thank you"s Obama said after he made his entrance, before the crowd would let him start his speech. We replied, "you're welcome" to each one, but he just kept thanking us.

And SNORK at "Arugula Snob and the Hairplug Buffoon"! If I can't have Dave Barry for President, Yes, of the United States, then AS and the HB will get my vote.

I can't wait for Dave's Republican coverage!

[baligurl]

You better hunker, Siouxie and Annie! You chickenshits! It's a really good thing I love chickenshits.

I really do.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Hee, hee! Snork @ Cat R & her "you're welcomes."

*buk, buk, buk, poot to bali!*

If it's a 7-10 split, Cali is definitely the '10.'

[fivver]

Hunkering and ducking are fine but it's still too early for loin girding. And of course Girded Loins WBAGNFARB or a special at Outback.

[Annie Where-but-here]

*prepares breastplate of righteousness*
Whut?

[Cat R]

fivver, "Gird your loins!" has been a favorite phrase of mine since Stanley Tucci gave it new life in The Devil Wears Prada.

[judi]

abfab speech, it must be said ;) i cried.

[fivver]

Sigh. I think I first heard it during Ceasar's conquest of Gaul. I was younger then.

[Cat R]

judi, you weren't alone. I saw many tears in the audience. I think I saw Waldo, too.

[Siouxie]

*got my loins all girded up*

[Annie Where-but-here]

I saw Waldo, too. He was on the convention floor with Walter doing something um, democratic.

Dave will be har!-pressed to make the Repooplicans seem as funny as the Dems. Butt the 'random-firing high-voltage buttock probes' is a nice start.

[Siouxie]

And on that note..I'll bid adieu, mon amis. ( pardon my french)

[Cat R]

My HS freshman daughter just realized this week that she will be able to vote for president in 2012. So, Dave, keep your future options open. I'm fairly certain you can still corner the Silly Vote here in Illinois four years from now.

Well, school starts tomorrow. It feels like I'm sending her off to kindergarten all over again. *snif!*

Good night, all...

Slinks out®

[NotSoShyJan]

Siouxie,
Prepare for more hunkering. There is another one forming up out there.

[MartiniShark]

". . .from the Great (heh-heh) State of Florida, where Cuban immigrants wash-up on a bale of marijuana and only one law is broken . . . where Miami mayors knock on the door of a disgruntled 65-year old voter and get greeted with a pistol loaded with hollow-points . . . where numerous bodies are found stuffed into suitcases in what officials declare unrelated crimes . . . where children on tricycles have to wear helmets but drunken retirees on 2000cc Harleys do not . . . where the tropical climate means professional soccer teams go bankrupt but 2 ice hockey franchises flourish . . ."

[Layzeeboy]

Boy, I'm late getting here. Just watched his speech (TiVo'd) because I was...er...watching Project Runway.

Very seriously, if all of the media would assess these things as objectively and honestly as Dave did, I'd be much happier.

frodo, do you think the anniversary of I have a dream was coincidental?

Now I am depressed at the thought that for the first time in my life someone who is younger than I might be president.

[Dr. Doug]

Obama = the great (half) white hope.

[queensbee]

you gotta admit... great music at the dems. i dont think the other guys will have stevie wonder. and i am from the great state of new york, home to the oldest political machine in the world.

[Siouxie]

Amen, Dr. D.

[Siouxie]

queenie, you're probably right. I'm just glad Barry Manilow's NOT gonna be there.

[fivver]

Dave, during your mandatory layover in Atlanta on your way home, you might try covering this convention.