CONVENTION UPDATE

Here's my latest in-depth, hard-hitting report from the Democratic convention. Below are some photos related to this report.

Along with my fellow journalist James Lileks, I hailed a pedicab to cover an important news story. James took this photo of me with the pedicab driver, Keiren Valentine.

On the way to the important story, we were sidetracked by another pedicab driver, who was heading to a hotel to pick up Miss Daryl Hannah.

After that we headed to our important news story, which was a group of people protesting bird porn. James is interviewing them here.

They were handing out this leaflet. It's something to think about.

James also is doing videos on this important story. Here's part one.

Comments

[Siouxie]

Those nasty birdwatching perverts! I KNEW they were up to something.

Dave?? why is Rachael Ray driving your pedicab?

[Annie Where-but-here]

I'll bet those darn birdwatchers are all closet Republicans. Or at least their closet is Republican.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Is there video on that bird p0rn site?

Siouxie wants to know.

[Will]

Lileks has a very good picture of Dave on his twitter feed. I am disappointed by the absence of the blue shirt.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Hmph...guess all the boys are researching the birdie site.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

She wasn't wearing her eye patch so no one would recognize her . . .

[Recovering 24 Addict]

Well I am happy to see that Ms. Hannah made it out of the trailer ok. I was worried about her when the Bride left her there with no eyes and a Black Mamba on her way to see Bill.

[Siouxie]

Annie, everyone knows I'm only into monkey p0rn.

[Recovering 24 Addict]

I thought I saw you at the meeting last week Siouxie.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sorry, Sioux. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with your fetishististic doings.

[Ford79]

I really liked Keiren Valentine in "Room 222."

(Geezer pedicab now boarding.)

[Foghorn]

I say, I say, heya, quit staring!

[Siouxie]

*hitches ride with Ford*

Ex-Addict, that was you? I didn't recognize you without the banana suit.

[Hammond Rye]

Soooo... we have all the kooks in one place now, right? Do we have to let them leave?

Best of all, we have another chance next week to catch the stragglers...

Just an innocent suggestion.

[Recovering 24 Addict]

Next month I am giving a lecture titled Baboons the sensual primate.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Bird pr0n? That's just a Krok.

[Layzeeboy]

Tweet tweet.

[Siouxie]

Gobble Gobble

[BoredCrow]

I'm an ornithologist... does this make me a professional voyeur?

[wiredog]

Important shout out from The Atlantic which describes Dave's convention coverage as being

the most fearlessly truthful reporting I have seen so far.

Good work Dave!

[Siouxie]

Here in Florida, we have Flamingo p0rn

[Annie Where-but-here]

And I thought the saying was 'birds of a feather flock together.'

Siouxie - that link would explain those strange noises coming from your neighborhood. Or not.

[Steve Haller]

?? Is this what Dave's talking about?

If not, maybe it should be...

[Kathybear]

No, no, he's talking about Robins who have sex in public places...

[Schadeboy]

I rode in one of those pedicabs when I went to Comic-Con in San Diego. I felt particularly sorry for the driver, as he had to lug myself (300 LB) plus my wife (100 lb) uphill from the parking area to the convention center which was about a mile away. I tipped the guy well. It might not have done any good, though, because he passed out shortly after giving him the money.

[crossgirl]

i'll admit to loving the friend's episode when monica thought chandler was into shark porn.

[CJrun]

Dang, Keiren Valentine is enormous!

[Bruce Wayne]

My God, Kathybear, what are you saying ?!

[BoscoH]

This pedicab system looks kinda dangerous. I used to ride a lot, like 100+ miles per week, back when I was a graduate student working hard on that starving graduate student look. And I couldn't go all of two blocks without breaking wind.

[queensbee]

bird porn??? flies off the shelves in the magazine store.

[queensbee]

oh, and to mr lileks - i love your website. very cool.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Kudos to Dave for not making fun of the name Anaida Krok. I need a crock, too, and that website is IT.

[Layzeeboy]

I just hope Dave wasn't drinking that Pabst in the Lileks pic. SOMEONE GIVE THAT MAN A REAL BEER - STAT!!

[CJrun]

Bosco, that was you? I used to leave early just to get ahead of you!

[ArcticAl]

What's wrong with doing it on your lawn anayways?!!?

[ArcticAl]

*steals an extra a from the previous post*

[Annie Where-but-here]

Schadeboy - that was you? I swiped some cash from a passed-out pedicabbie in San Diego once. You DO tip well!

[Annie Where-but-here]

ArcticAl - you could get crabgrass.

[CJrun]

AA, I have two words for you:

Chiggers.

(yeah, that's one word, butt chiggers are freakin' EVIL!!)

[Siouxie]

What about grass ass?

[judi]

i am so proud! i added these photos to the gallery and figured out how to put that one on the story itself. i is learning something new all o' the time!

[Siouxie]

is our s.b. learning??

she be!!!

have a cerveza.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Stellaaaaa! I'll drink to that. Congrats to your cipherin', judi! Have some new country music just for you- my treat.

[Siouxie]

Woo hoooooooooooooo, Howieeeeeeeee!!! AWOOOOOOOOOO!!

[Just Ducky]

Yay, judi! Yay, Howie!

I'm a bird watcher
I'm a bird watcher
Watchin' birds fly high
My, my, my

I'm a bird watcher
I'm a bird watcher
Here come some now
Mmmm, mmm, mmm

I was just a boy
When I threw away my toys
I found a new pastime
To dwell on

Whenever I detect
Feathered friends are having sex
I play the game I do so well, oh

I'm a bird watcher
I'm a bird watcher
Watchin' birds fly high
My, my, my

I'm a bird watcher
I'm a bird watcher
Here come some now

Hello there, starlings
My, my, but you look darling
Could you please move
A little slower

I wonder if you know
That you're putting on a show
Could you please perch
A little closer

I'm a bird watcher
I'm a bird watcher
Watchin' birds fly high
My, my, my

I'm a bird watcher
I'm a bird watcher
Here come some now
Mmm, mmm, mmm

[Siouxie]

YAY Duckness!!

*claps*

[Annie Where-but-here]

Yay, JD!

Little birdie in the sky,
What you do with dat guy?

[Just Ducky]

Thanks, guys. (Love that bird, Siouxie.)

Perhaps I'd best make sure all the blinds are closed at the Ducky abode...

*Flaps away*

[Hammond Rye]

Topics of the Birdwatchers's Convention in Denver:

9:00 Great Tits. Are they getting harder to find?

10:00 Big Red Cocks: Are the Rhode Island Reds worthy?

11:00 Hooters and Peckers: Getting scarce?

12:00 Leather and Feather Masked Ball and Orgy

[Biggin]

Are those really serious?!?

[BoscoH]

Yes Biggin, Hammond Rye got the schedule off the official website.

[Siouxie]

*tweet-snork* @ Hammie!

*already waved*

[Hammond Rye]

*Waves @ Siouxie!!!*

[Annie Where-but-here]

No wonder birdies sing so much.
*Bird waves @ Hammie*

[Siouxie]

In the interest of science, I will now share this link: The penis of a duck.

Also, I will not make fun of Dr. McCracken, who found an even more popular duck.

Discuss

[CJrun]

The Discus would be made more interesting if they included birds. Butt not bird peni; that would be wrong.

[queensbee]

is there no training at this conference?? such as - be careful of those glass doors.... or financial counseling, such as 'feathering your nest....' etc.....
and great job ducky.

[Annie Where-but-here]

You're right, queensbee. That's something to grouse about. Plus the hotel is seedy.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Uh-oh, Siouxie's taking a tern for the worse. Um, warning on that.

[klezmerphan]

Yikes, Ford79, think anyone else here remembers Room 222? Where are they now? (The cast members, that is.)

(goes to buy ticket for GeezerCab)

[Moon]

Geez. Dump that idiot Lileks and latch on to Darryl Hannah. What are you thinking?

[WriterDude]

Can't tell you, klezmerphan, but my wife spotted Jason from "The Waltons" playing guitar in a bluegrass band at Disney California Adventure. I'd start looking there.

[Robyn]

I prefer Eagle Porn myself, just not the ones flying away...

[Guin]

Snork. I am thinking of all the perverts googling boy scout/porn and stumbling across Dave's article.

[MartiniShark]

So I go and check out some nice tits through my binoculars, and now I'm a pornagrapher?! What's wrong with checking out chicks, anyway? Some people need to learn how to appreciate plumage.

[queensbee]

lovely plumage............