The winner is Meanie the Blue, who clearly took a lot of drugs felt inspired and sent in a bunch of good ones, including:
Vista 2.0 - it's here!
"Now that I'm invisible, I can go anywhere…"
Darth Vader's high school yearbook picture
"This, or the white gold - what do you think?"
Why settle for canned, when you can have fresh-squeezed with one easy pull?
You've tried Santeria...
Meanie the Blue will win a piece of random crap valuable prize.
Choosing a runner-up was difficult, but I’m going with this one, from JayBee:
Brad worried that chicks might not dig the stubble.
In the event that Meanie the Blue is unable to carry out his duties as winner, JayBee will take over for the duration of Meanie the Blue’s reign.
Here are some other strong entries:
From klezmerphan:
"THIS will cover my balding pate, and no one will be any the wiser!"
From Dave Diodato:
“This would be so cute with my Speedo. No, wait. Thong!”
From Mars Punkin:
"Wow! This DOES make your stool softer and easier to pass!"
From baligurl:
"I bet the people looking at this ad can't tell I'm naked..."
From Cat R:
“How YOU doin?”
And finally, two from Danny:
"Ohmigod, this is, like, so awesome. I'm gonna ask for overnight shipping on the Butt Spa!"
"Now that he had found a space yarmulke in his size, Max was ready to apply to NASA's astronaut-training program."
There were many other excellent ones, including of course any that you submitted, but judi did not like them. Thanks to all who participated, thereby demonstrating once again that the Internet is the most powerful force ever devised for not doing anything useful.