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June 30, 2008


Plastic-Surgery Parties

Key Quote: Dr. Greenberg described it as “like a bar mitzvah.” It had an open bar, a disc jockey and performers on stilts during cocktail hour. The dinner buffet included carving, pasta and dim sum stations.

Which raises the question: Carving WHAT?

(Thanks to Elon Weintraub)


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I assume there was no plastic fruit at the event. You just can't be too careful.

Braniff, at this time of the year, most of the plastic fruit is on Fire Island.

"Dr. Alan H. Gold, a Great Neck-based plastic surgeon...". Limiting your practice to wattles seems a little risky to me.

"Doctor, I seem to be gaining weight that I can't get rid of."

"First, have a few Hershey Kisses while we talk. I suggest liposuction."

"Mmmph. Rlly? Thatph gonna helph? How longs will it lapht?"

"Don't worry about that. You can always have a touch-up session. More chocolate?" *Cha-ching*

And yes Dave, there are Tupperware brand implants. Instead of stitches they have a burp & seal closure. Pamela Anderson's got a set.

I thought the burp & seal closure was only used by nursing mothers.

Imagine the baby's surprise when it found out they were fake! Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty... What the...salt water?

The caption says the good doctor is giving Debbie an injection in Glen Head, but it looks like Debbie's head to me.

And other cultures hate us because...?

Annie, Yesterday it was all in Manhattan, in the parade. Today, probably back on Fire Island.

Anybody been to a good gastroenterology party lately?


The word on gastro parties is 'stay away from the dip.'

I wonder, too, what the urology, gynecology, and psychiatry party circuits are like.

Are these not the same genius Long Island women who awarded Dina Lohan a "Mother of the Year" award? You can't inject contagion into your head without some daft side-effects.

No audio? Thank goodness. You can botox the snot outta them, but you can never take that hideous accent away. It's like the 'Nanny' with expletives.

Dim Sum Station - GNFARB.

well, how about root canal parties. these people obviously have waaay too much money. hey, give to charity, will ya

Of course they had a D.J. there.

Soon to be appearing, "Prostrate Exam Parties" (which, obviously, WBAGNFARB...)

You know what the DJ would be playing at that party Frodo? Spinal Tap's "Smell the Glove".

*SNORKS* at MS!!!!

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