HEY, WE'VE SEEN LESS-RESPONSIVE HUSBANDS
A woman says she is married to the Berlin Wall.
(Thanks to DavCat, Amanda Austin and Danny)
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A woman says she is married to the Berlin Wall.
(Thanks to DavCat, Amanda Austin and Danny)
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*stares off in to space.*
Words really escape me on this one. She claims to have had relations with a wall. Yah, right.
Posted by: Juggler of Geese® | May 27, 2008 at 09:40 AM
Please tell me that's not his oosik she's holding in that picture.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 27, 2008 at 09:41 AM
I bet he took her for granite.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 27, 2008 at 09:43 AM
And after many years of stony silence...
Posted by: pogo | May 27, 2008 at 09:45 AM
Well, he may be cold, but he's hard.
Posted by: Punkin | May 27, 2008 at 09:46 AM
At least she was faithful. Unlike this guy.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 27, 2008 at 09:48 AM
I knew there was a reason I stopped reading this at work, I just had to explain my snork to my boss. Thanks Annie, Punkin and Pogo. at least it was iced coffee and my usual dier soda.
Posted by: Juggler of Geese® | May 27, 2008 at 09:49 AM
change that r to a t.
Posted by: Juggler of Geese® | May 27, 2008 at 09:49 AM
How does she...? I mean where does it...? WHY???
*head explodes*
Definitely has a stiff one. But..sheeeeeesh.
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 10:02 AM
I guess she's been around the block a couple of times.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 27, 2008 at 10:09 AM
"What does your husband do?"
"He's a security guard."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 27, 2008 at 10:13 AM
If this had been a guy it wouldn't be as newsworthy . . .
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | May 27, 2008 at 10:14 AM
One time she got really upset when she came home and found him on the patio.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 27, 2008 at 10:14 AM
"poor Eija was mortarfied"
Ohhhhh.... that hurt
Posted by: russellmc | May 27, 2008 at 10:20 AM
And, although she remains a virgin with humans, she insists she has a full, loving relationship with the wall.
Cue the Twilight Zone music
Posted by: Punkin's Drunk Cousin | May 27, 2008 at 10:21 AM
Ich Bin Ein Berliner!
Posted by: Erb's point | May 27, 2008 at 10:22 AM
Yeah but does he put the toilet seat down????
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 10:22 AM
So who got the better end of the deal? This chick or the guy who made out with his picnic table?
Posted by: Doc Rick | May 27, 2008 at 10:24 AM
“The Great Wall of China’s attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier.
“It’s not just pleasuring myself. I want to please my partner when we make love.”
I'm with Siouxie - *head explodes too*
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | May 27, 2008 at 10:25 AM
Their songs:
♫ He's a brick...wall...♬
or
♪ Just another prick in the wall...♫
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 10:26 AM
Has she met her mortar-in-law?
Posted by: ellie | May 27, 2008 at 10:28 AM
"Objectum Sexuality"???
That sounds like either a "progressive class" at Cal-Berkeley, or the subject of the next "Donahue" show.
Posted by: tw | May 27, 2008 at 10:30 AM
I fell for him like a ton of bricks
Posted by: Erb's point | May 27, 2008 at 10:31 AM
“It’s not just pleasuring myself. I want to please my partner when we make love.”
Because not doing so could kiln the relationship?
Posted by: ellie | May 27, 2008 at 10:33 AM
Eija changed her surname to Berliner-Mauer, German for the Berlin Wall – which was erected ...
Heh! they said erected.
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 10:33 AM
I'm sure of this. The person who wrote the article invented 'Extenze'.
Posted by: lil rascal | May 27, 2008 at 10:33 AM
"Oh...he's sexy but he can be a TOTAL blockhead sometimes"
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 10:36 AM
“I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy.
*lies down*
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | May 27, 2008 at 10:36 AM
“I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy."
So...just get a Sharpie™ (iykwim)
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 10:38 AM
"Again with the QwikCrete? Why is it always about you?!"
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 27, 2008 at 10:38 AM
*takes Sharpie™ and draws lines across Kibby's face*
Go get her!
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 10:41 AM
Man, she's a tough chick. How many women do you know who actually enjoy laying bricks?
Posted by: Possibly Danny | May 27, 2008 at 10:41 AM
Danny (possibly), get outta my head! It's dark and scary in there.
*stands with russellmc in the "that hurt" corner*
Can't think of anything fresh. Guess I'll just throw in the trowel.
Posted by: Diva | May 27, 2008 at 10:47 AM
"Is that your Mason's Dixon line, or are you just happy to ce-ment?"
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 27, 2008 at 10:51 AM
In this case, breaking up was really hard to do.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 27, 2008 at 10:58 AM
ex-Girlfriend of mine has a piece of that wall ... that's that mean it cheated on her? My ex a slut?
It currently's used as a door stopper .... go ahead!
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | May 27, 2008 at 11:08 AM
At the time, when asked to comment on the so-called "wedding ceremony" with his putative "bride", the wall's reaction was guarded.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 27, 2008 at 11:11 AM
I'm sure it's a rock solid marriage.
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 11:18 AM
Note to Erb - "Ich bin ein Berliner" means "I am a jelly donut". JFK should have said "Ich bin Berliner" - I am a citizen of Berlin.
Posted by: pogo | May 27, 2008 at 11:19 AM
I heard he went all to pieces over her.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 27, 2008 at 11:22 AM
It’s likely Eija grew up associating boundaries with comfort and security — perhaps she was left in a playpen for long periods.
Or perhaps someone bopped her upside the head with a brick? THAT would make sense to me.
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 11:28 AM
I'm not sure. Ich bin Berliner means you literally live in Berlin. Kennedy didn't want to say that.
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | May 27, 2008 at 11:28 AM
I can ask a German speaker for more details.
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | May 27, 2008 at 11:29 AM
Who needs Viagra when you have re-bar.
Posted by: BillyJoeJimBob | May 27, 2008 at 11:29 AM
"mr. gorbachev, tear down some fruitcake's husband!"
Posted by: insomniac | May 27, 2008 at 11:31 AM
Or perhaps someone bopped her upside the head with a brick?
Maybe not upside the head.
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | May 27, 2008 at 11:32 AM
She had reason to be jealous.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 27, 2008 at 11:34 AM
Some women like the strong silent type. I guess.
Posted by: random thunking | May 27, 2008 at 11:35 AM
Hey...whatever rocks your boat, I always say, Elon.
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 11:36 AM
I betcha they went here for their honeymoon.
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 11:38 AM
JFK wanted to express he was "with the Berliners", not that he was actually a resident. A "Berliner" is also a pastry, a jelly filled pastry, as a Danish is a pastry originally created in Denmark. The insertion of the definite article "ein" (a) makes a subtle difference in the meaning in German.
Posted by: pogo | May 27, 2008 at 11:42 AM
Pogo, you're right about how that infamous line was misspoken. It would have still been incorrect even if there were no such thing as a Berliner jelly donut, since, unlike in English, Germans don't use a definite article to make reference to someone from a particular place.
They would say "Ich bin Deutscher", not "Ich bin ein Deutscher", to tell someone that they are German. They might also phrase it as "Ich bin aus Deutschland" ("I am from Germany"). But the definite article does not get used, and in this comical case the use of "ein" with "Berliner" made for a lot of giggles.
I sometime wish JFK had tried to identify with people from Hamburg, Frankfurt, or Vienna (known as "Wien" in German)....
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 27, 2008 at 11:54 AM
That wench is crazy. He was MINE!
Posted by: Cindy Block | May 27, 2008 at 12:08 PM
I'm sure she gets his rocks off.
Posted by: Punkin | May 27, 2008 at 12:14 PM
Awwww, Cindy....it was nobody's ashfault.
Posted by: Punkin | May 27, 2008 at 12:15 PM
Blue, how dare you put such a FILTHY photo on this family blog!!
Posted by: Diva | May 27, 2008 at 12:21 PM
just got here - i had to do some WORK! da noive! but the puns are delish on this thread. I'm wondering tho - how can other women tell that mr wall is a married wall - and do they hit on him a lot?? playing handball, etc. and mrs wall needs some serious meds.
Posted by: queensbee | May 27, 2008 at 12:26 PM
Aggregate THIS, Eija!
Posted by: Cindy Block | May 27, 2008 at 12:28 PM
*throws Berly out the window and heads for the Hoov*
Posted by: Eija Wall | May 27, 2008 at 12:32 PM
Typical guy - he had some German on one side and some Russian on the other.
Posted by: Rosetta Stone | May 27, 2008 at 12:35 PM
Eija bin enjoying this thread.
Posted by: Danny | May 27, 2008 at 12:37 PM
The story of the little Dutch boy plugging the hole in the wall with his finger to stop it from leaking has taken on a whole different connotation now.
Posted by: peterpan | May 27, 2008 at 12:37 PM
Sure, it's a tacky and salacious story. But I say: Let him who is without cinder cast the first block.
Posted by: Ich bin Danny | May 27, 2008 at 12:40 PM
"Is that rebar in your pocket....?"
Posted by: Sharon Stone | May 27, 2008 at 12:42 PM
*whacks Danny with a ceeeeement block*
Well I never...I'll have you know that I am a wall virgin!
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 12:43 PM
I'm still just wondering how he said, "I do." Was it by epoxy?
Posted by: Diva | May 27, 2008 at 12:44 PM
Hey, what am I - chopped liver?
Posted by: Hadrian's Wall | May 27, 2008 at 12:44 PM
What she never mentions is that it was a seriously rocky relationship. He was forever stonewalling her, and when he was finally hit with an obstacle, he just went all to pieces.
Posted by: Diva | May 27, 2008 at 12:47 PM
Although, I'd definitely go for THIS rock.
♬ Take me in your arms, rock your baby...♪
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 12:48 PM
Wooo hooo!! ^that^ was # 69!!!
Rock on.
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 12:53 PM
Maybe she knows that wherever the is a concrete wall a seriously big BOB is not far away.
Posted by: random thunking | May 27, 2008 at 12:55 PM
Maybe she knows that wherever the is a concrete wall a seriously big BOB is not far away.
Posted by: random thunking | May 27, 2008 at 12:56 PM
The bot made me do it.
Posted by: random thunking | May 27, 2008 at 12:56 PM
And to think Siouxie said you knew your way around BOBs.
Posted by: Sharon Stone | May 27, 2008 at 01:02 PM
Talk about getting hammered, random!
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 01:02 PM
Oh, my...simul with Siouxie....how's that for a slump test?
Posted by: Sharon Stone | May 27, 2008 at 01:06 PM
Priest: "Do you Eija, take this wall to be your lawfully wedded husband??"
Eija: "YAH!"
Priest: "Do you wall, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife??"
Wall:
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 01:11 PM
What can I say? It was always a dream of mine.....
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 27, 2008 at 01:34 PM
Meanie, that must be a nasty photo. I can't open it.
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 01:40 PM
Me too, Meanie. I get a 403 error AND a typo. Yoicks.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 27, 2008 at 01:47 PM
Key quote: "Although she remains a virgin with humans..."
No doubt.
Siouxie, with respect, I think the honeymoon location was
http://www.seerockcity.com/Flash/Photos/barns_i4.htm
Posted by: Allen at Division | May 27, 2008 at 02:08 PM
If this wall is rockin' don't come a-knockin'.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 27, 2008 at 02:31 PM
How does one go about getting laid by a wall, I wonder?
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | May 27, 2008 at 02:58 PM
Hi Cheryl, can buy you a drink?
Posted by: The Wall | May 27, 2008 at 03:02 PM
Cheryl, I'm assuming it's sorta kinda doing it with this guy. (only quieter)(Annie told me)
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 03:03 PM
Oh Cheryl, you had me so excited I forget to put an "I" before buy. You know, you are one mind blowin' hawt babe.
Posted by: The Wall | May 27, 2008 at 03:04 PM
Now I remember marrying this skank...it was right after I got hammered!
Posted by: The Wall | May 27, 2008 at 04:45 PM
Anyone else wonder about the "guests" that were at the cementing of this unholy union?
Posted by: shell | May 27, 2008 at 05:03 PM
shell, I bet they were all stoned.
Posted by: Siouxie | May 27, 2008 at 09:55 PM
all in all, he's just another brick in the wall!
Posted by: Dazzle | May 28, 2008 at 12:48 AM
For people who think that mental illness is not a problem: Exhibit A.
Posted by: Amanda in Hawaii | May 28, 2008 at 04:17 AM
I think she should have married the Eiffel Tower instead. He is more erect.
Posted by: Laine | June 01, 2008 at 02:39 PM