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You may laugh, but if you have ever attempted to put up a Christmas tree, you know how vicious these things can be,
(Thanks to Amanda Austin)
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Trees are EVIL, man.
Posted by: Suzy Q | May 23, 2008 at 10:36 AM
There's intel out there that suggests Iran is running a clandestine tree program. We need to confront this menace now.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 10:48 AM
He's fir real, man.
Posted by: Anonymous Conifer Victim | May 23, 2008 at 10:49 AM
The rogue tree is still at larch.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 10:52 AM
He won't get far on fir.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 23, 2008 at 10:57 AM
got him, got his wheels too, dude ...
Posted by: Steve Haller | May 23, 2008 at 11:00 AM
Obviously revenge for this famous assault.
Posted by: Mike Antonucci | May 23, 2008 at 11:02 AM
*thinks squirrles were involved, maybe a tortoise too - he's quick!*
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | May 23, 2008 at 11:04 AM
Do NOT screw with the trees. They may not be hasty, but eventually they will be roused and come to kick your butt.
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | May 23, 2008 at 11:06 AM
It's a shame this awful crime occured in such a poplar area.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 11:06 AM
Birnam Wood is on the move - get out of Dunsinane.
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | May 23, 2008 at 11:20 AM
I maple a muscle reading Meanie's piney puns.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 23, 2008 at 11:20 AM
Shocker: Police said Tostevin was heavily intoxicated
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | May 23, 2008 at 11:24 AM
I hope they're not sapling your patience, Annie.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 11:30 AM
You'll notice they don't have this problem in states with concealed weapons permits. Ya gotta make the foliage respect you!
Posted by: mesmo | May 23, 2008 at 11:39 AM
If that happened, Meanie, I wood knot beech chipper.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 23, 2008 at 11:44 AM
I wouldn't want to drive you barking mad, so I'll just leaf it alone, oak K?
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 11:51 AM
I wouldn't want to drive you barking mad, so I'll just leaf it alone, oak K?
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 11:51 AM
Sorry about that. It willow not happen again.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 11:58 AM
If you read all the way to the bottom, you'll find that a 19-y-o was charged with being a minor prohibited from driving a vehicle while under the influence. Does this mean that SOME minors ARE allowed to drive under the influence? That might explain some things.
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | May 23, 2008 at 11:58 AM
Dogwood never cedar point of letting that hap-pun.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 23, 2008 at 12:10 PM
Meanie and Annie,
Orange yew a pear! Aspen a long time since I've read such good puns. I don't holly expect to hear better ones fir as long as olive.
Posted by: Maybe Danny | May 23, 2008 at 12:15 PM
Appreciate it, Danny, but now it's time forest. Punning canopy allowed to take up my entire day. Ah, life's a birch.....
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 12:35 PM
Right. No day at the beech. Cherry-o, then.
Posted by: Danny | May 23, 2008 at 12:48 PM
Wait ... deciduous gonna be here awhile ....
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 12:59 PM
It's cheap, locust entertainment. Besides, it's tupelo out. I ain't cone nowhere.
Posted by: Danny | May 23, 2008 at 01:10 PM
Yew need to branch out and log on more often.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 23, 2008 at 01:16 PM
I dunno. I think I should pecan now. Buckeyes I'm plum out of ideas. Acacia didn't notice. I reckon I'll guava drink or something, maybe read some hawthorn.
Posted by: Danny | May 23, 2008 at 01:34 PM
Fig-ures. Soon as cypress Post, I get the bot. I'm getting sycamore technical glitches and I'm not gonna take it much longer. Joshua wait.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 01:52 PM
Try moving the cursor doo-hickory a shade to the left.
Posted by: Danny | May 23, 2008 at 02:00 PM
Wait, I cedar problem. I had the HemLock on.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 02:08 PM
Sn-oak!
Posted by: Cat R | May 23, 2008 at 02:11 PM
(Annie, I ran across your Christmas tree article the other day. It was delightful reading. I would have posted, but I'm about 6 months too late. The double-ladder imagery made me laugh.)
Posted by: Cat R | May 23, 2008 at 02:13 PM
Good work. Those user's manuals lilac crazy.
Posted by: Danny | May 23, 2008 at 02:13 PM
I've heard the Apple manuals aren't sequoias poorly written. Much of the others I've redwood give you nightmares, and, man, they arboring.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 02:29 PM
My wife says "Viburnum?," but I just chuck 'em in the fireplace and watch 'em turn to ash.
Posted by: Danny | May 23, 2008 at 02:37 PM
For alder money we pay, you'd think we'd get comprehensible instructions. Instead, they end up magnolia hairs stand on end. They ginkgo jump in the lake, these crooks.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | May 23, 2008 at 02:50 PM
Remember, only you can prevent forests.
Posted by: Mike Antonucci | May 23, 2008 at 02:51 PM
Isn't it obvious who did this? The guy was hanging upside down. Go to the second report:
"Police said Whitney Roper, 19, and Joshua Pulansky, 18, both from Wilkes-Barre, faces underage consumption of alcohol charges after they were observed with alcohol on Livingston Lane on Thursday."
Roper? What might he do for a living? And as for Roper's accomplice, I would just note that "Joshua" is a name of a tree.
Case solved.
Posted by: Peter M | May 23, 2008 at 03:03 PM
sonuvabeech, termite be a bitter way than stihl-in' maple ol' lines.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 23, 2008 at 03:20 PM
*going home to mow the lawn, and, if necessary, dodge trees that have major anger issues.*
Posted by: Danny | May 23, 2008 at 03:22 PM
Cat - thanks. If you liked that one, here's one from Christmas 2005, now with cantilevered children.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 23, 2008 at 03:25 PM
Annie, that was great. Makes me almost nostalgic for Christmas. Almost.
It is presently 58 frickin' degrees here in Chicago, and we're still afraid to put away our winter coats around here, just in case we jinx the weather gods again. Is it too much to ask for a little heat for the holiday weekend?
/rant
Posted by: Cat R | May 23, 2008 at 03:52 PM
Cat - we had a tornado nearby yesterday. Today's quite blustery, with rain here in SoCal. Hopefully it put the fires out to the north.
Since this is on an old thread, here's a little Christmas mush. No tree tipping, but I liked my son's response at the end.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 23, 2008 at 05:42 PM
Awww.... *snif!*
(And Snork! at the Temple of Lego!)
Posted by: Cat R | May 23, 2008 at 05:52 PM
Las item wes
"drove my che.. Hyiundai to the levee but the levy..
Posted by: jhfjdf | May 25, 2008 at 10:14 AM