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May 10, 2008


(Thanks to sjhaller and Heather and Guin and Andrew Hoenig)


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At least no tornadoes were involved! I thought those were mandatory in a trailer park story.

And then to add insult to injury, his wife told him she wasn't leaving him.

A cascade of events. (I agree about the tornado.)

Jimmy Buffet said it best-
They're ugly and square
They don't belong here
They looked a lot better as beer cans

Not only was he injured in an accident, his trailer went up in flames and he got a traffic ticket, but his wife was cooking UNATTENDED!!

there must be a country sawng in this one... something about losing yoooou, or the ole homestead, and can openers. i'm not good at parodies ... so that's all i got. poor dude, tho, gave him a ticket?

Can they sterilize him while he's in the hospital, too?


I once caught my car on fire when I ran out of gas. The vehicle backfired through the carbureator when priming and poof, I was subject to a flaming inferno stranded there on the side of the highway. Playing on the amount of alcohol in my system at the time, I calmly got a blanket out of trunk and smothered the flames under the hood. I did not get a ticket. Or have a wife. Nor did I make jokes about Tennessee. I drove around in a stylish, but partially burned up car for a long while. Being drunk and forgetting to buy gas had nothing to do with it.

Oh, this all happened in 1896.

*zips in*™

I am not going to make the obvious joke, I have way too much class.

*winks at Jazzzz* who I saw on the yolk thread..

WARNING -- this starts off awful, but everyone is fine.

This past December in Cincinnati, my 26 year old nephew was shot in the face with a double-barrelled sawed-off shotgun in a robbery attempt. THANK GOD it was loaded with bird shot AND he was wearing a Carhart coat (that absorbed a lot of the pelletts to his chest). He did have to have his left eye removed.

He moved back home to Indiana the day following surgery to remove his eye. His dad followed my sister and nephew in the nephew's truck that had all of his possessions in the back. The truck engine caught on fire and my sister said they had to sit on the side of the road to wait for AAA; my sister, brother-in-law, their one-eyed son and a burning truck.

I told her that all they needed was a three-legged dog and rain and they'd have a country-western song.

*snork* (kinda) @ slyeyes - the rain, of course, would put out the fire AFTER the truck was destroyed.

My sister and her hubby had recently received a new Explorer after totaling their original one when they drove thru a little puddle that turned out to be 4 ft deep. A week after getting the new one, they went out for Chinese take out and came home to find their house filled with gas that was leaking from behind the stove. My brother-in-law went out to the car to get the landlord's phone number and came back in - white as a ghost - to tell my sister that the tree they parked next to simply up-ended and fell on their new car, splitting it in half.

I arrived a few minutes later to see the police taking a report about the car, the firemen evacuating the building and trying to find the gas shut off, and my sister & BIL sitting on the curb eating chinese.

Punkin - same exact thing happened to me, only it wasn't Chinese, it was Thai.
And it wasn't gas in the house, but ants.
And it wasn't an Explorer, it was a Dodge.
And a tree didn't fall on it.
But just like that.
Good morning. :)



Slyeyes, everyone was fine but the one-eyed son, I'd say!

I am gonna quit complaining about my bad day and just hide under the covers! YIKES!

Click and you can sing this song in your head all day, I am.

I was once driving up a mountainside, when I noticed a plume of smoke ahead. After rounding several more turns, and climbing, we saw ahead a small Toyota pickup, engulfed in flames. About 100 yards this side of the flaming truck, was a young man sitting on the guardrail, and playin' a guitar.

We stopped to see if we could help, even though we had no marshmallows or hot dogs. When asked if he needed help, the fellow said, "I might need a ride a little later, but you probably don't want to wait." He grinned and continued, "This doesn't happen to me every day. Once I saw that I couldn't stop the fire, I saved my guitar and just thought I'd make the most of it. You folks have a good day."

attitude is everything, methinks.

Laurie, he lost an eye, not his life and for that, we are exceedingly grateful. He said in the ambulance he asked the EMT's if he was gong to die. THey told him the gunshot vics who die aren't as talkative. He does have some adjusting to do. Depth perception for one so that he can walk through a doorway without bumping his left shoulder. And he's dealing with some PTSS; but he's alive and doing better ever day. And when you look at him, you can't even tell he was shot in the face 5 months ago. He's coaching Little League, dating and will soon start a new job.

He has an uncle who lost an eye at the same age (firecrackers), so fortunately, he knows losing an eye can be a challenge, not an obstacle.

I rode in an ambulance once. Vito, the ambulance driver, yelled back to the attendant and said, "hey man, don't try and have sex with this one OK!"

Snork @ Vito

*SNORK* @ y'all!

Thanks to you, my days are always brighter than without ya.

His name was really Vito.

Sly - Did you say "IT" to him???? - you know...

"It's all fun & games until someone loses an eye."

Well, perhaps you waited a few months to say that.

I never got shot in the face, or burned up a car, or a truck, or a trailer (well, there was that one).

I need to get out, more.

You never lived with a topless dancer it's so obvious.

Try my music link that will make you sing a song in your head all day. It's perky. A lot like being tossed out the front door and landing in the gravel on your back. I was once told i was six feet tall flat on my back?

My wife just walked in while I listening to barbie world.

I'm going to have her dress up like Sally Struthers.

Snork @ punkin.

Sally Struthers? What are you? Some kind of pervert?

I once had to eat my appetizer without Grey Poupon™
oh....and cheap wine

*Rushes I.V. of snooty expensive French wine to Jazzzz.*

thanky Punkin'....just in time

(((Jazzzzz))) How horrible! That sounds just like a country song. Yuppie-style.

Oh Jazzzz, I didn't know you were a mustard snob...:-)

He calls that a bad day? He hasn't seen nuthin'.

*crawls in and collapses on the blogbar*
Okay, so I gave out interim reports, see, and these parents jumped me because I'm the b!t@h who makes the kids READ and stuff and they were mad because their kids didn't do it and got bad grades?! I managed to fight them off with my gradebook and a metric ruler. It was awful. Nothing compared to this guy's day, or losing an eye, but still.

Auntie M,

thank you for your valor during combat operations.

[tosses her a purple heart and bronze star]

Girlfriend: I'm drinking wine, because it has fewer calories.

Boyfriend: OK, Honey, but be careful with that stuff, because it's 4 times as strong as beer.

Girlfriend: I know that, silly, but it has fewer calories.

Boyfriend: OK, but I warn you that stuff is 4 times stronger than...Honey? Honey? Hmmmm, maybe somebody's around the BlogBar, or I'll stick in a movie.

Thanks for your consideration, packsaddle. I'll wear those medals with honor!

Oh, CJ. Victim of the "fewer calories" battle. So sorry. Wine is the only thing that ever gets me tipsy. I'm finally done directing the school musical, so I'll be around more. How's the "I quit my job to do other things" going?

Wow. I just read what I wrote. I'm....ummmm....I'm practicing my stream-of-consciousness writing for my blog. Yeah, that's it!

I thought I knew bad days, then last week. I realize now I don't know what is a true bad day. I hope I never will.

Elon, I'm familiar with bad days. They suck. Avoid them at all cost.

Auntie M - next week our teachers are picketing to protest upcoming budget cuts. If these cuts go through, we will rank last in state spending. Dead last. That's behind Arkansas, Mississippi, etc.

'Tis proposition politics for you, Annie.

Auntie, it's excitong and completely scary. Nearly everything I've worked on has met a dead end eventually, so I may have to get a real job again. It's been 5 months now and I can hang on for another month, or two.

For me, it's all about working part-time, so I can be available for anything, plus, I figured I should be able to get by on less than half of my previous pay, as taxes were making me do that in any case. I'm not predictably making half, though, so I told cg I may have to break down and take a job by next month. She said, "No, live frugally for at least the summer, then go back to work, if you have to". I'll probably try that. It's wonderful, not knowing whether I'll try that. And nerve-wracking.

Hmm...Virginia is a "right to work state". We have an "association", but we have no ability to strike. I've got this fancy certification that was supposed to net me a bonus from the state. They keep cutting it. Nothing I can do except write angry letters. Oh, and we're not getting a raise this year. State AND county budget cuts, you know.

I wouldn't want to go on strike at this time of year. It's too close to the end. And I have plans for the summer that don't include making up days spent picketing. Have fun with the kids at home, Annie!

That sounds very freeing, CJ. I'm sure you'll be fine. It's seems like you've had an adventure these last few months!

They're not striking - just picketing, trying to keep people to contact government officials and get them to ease up.
The fallout from subpar teaching is, as you know, deep and far-reaching. Marginal kids that might normally have a chance drop out and become subpar citizens. Then we get to pay for their stays in prison, etc. Just not good all around.

Yeah, but no one looks at the big picture, Annie. It's all about the money NOW, not the money LATER. We're losing teachers left and right just due to burnout issues. It's getting tougher to find quality people who are willing to put up with all the crap.

Both my sons' teachers have less than 4 years in the system, working on 'temp' contracts. Both of them got notices that they 'may' not be rehired. They're both fantastic. It's quite sad all around. If they want to teach, they'll have to move out of state since no one's hiring. Never mind the kids losing out.

Yeah, we've got a hiring freeze on, too. It's a sad situation. I have a friend who wants to move back here, but can't get a job here right now. Thankfully, my job is safe. I'm grateful for that much on my end.

Well, I plan to be back on the blog more often, but I've got to go. Good night!

Nite Auntie! Who's working the blog bar tonight?

If you really care, free-up the system. Eliminate "Teacher Certifications" (as if I need to take indoctrination classes to teach math or science), eliminate 14 levels of administrators, eliminate the unions, give parents a choice, then watch good teachers work where they are paid well and parents choose their kids.

Many parents have to spend for both the screwed up public schools and the private schools they choose to send their kids to. No, taxpayers aren't going to spend one more penny for crappy public schools full of ignorant, preachy administrators. If the administrators and 'educators' are so good, how 'bout facing some competition? Yeah, yeah, I know; 'education' is above competition.

Fact, education colleges have the students with the lowest SATs in the country; education grad schools have the lowest GREs in the country. A confederacy of dunces. I respect hard-working teachers, but have no use for the 'education' academics; they are almost exclusively stunted and strident. They are often actually mean people, always feeling slighted, probably because they know, deep down, they are dumb-asses.

Lack of competition; many couldn't survive if they had to compete. Kids will suffer as long as we hand those people paychecks.

end rant\

Edu-execs survive BECAUSE they're mean. When budget cuts come around, they're the hardest to get to. Much easier to trim a new teacher lacking tenure, unfortunately. We are quite top-heavy on exec fatties out here in Cali.

Yeah, I find I'm much better at my job when I'm mean. Not.

I'm a firm believer in the customer relationship; somenone hands you a paycheck for satisfactory service. Filtering education funding up through taxes and back down through bureaucracts is dumb.

I was digging through the March jobs data and I found two numbers interesting; the private sector had shed around 80,000 jobs, but that looked to be leveling out. What was interesting is that the public sector had added almost 80,000 jobs, across all sectors (local, State, etc.); if that turns out to be a typical monthly trend, that's not good. We seriously shouldn't be adding more than 70,000 people to the public sector payroll, per month, every month. That's a Ponzi scheme!

Ask the administrators why the US has a budget deficit of 13 trillion Dollars.

WWOOO...AWBH...I growed up in Missac.....Missipiss....uhhhh.....The magnolia state, and live in arKansas....I is not as stoopid as you might thank. I can identify a locco....locimo....TRAIN two out of tree times !!

SNORCK @ Jazzzz.

sets out muffins, bagels, schmears, coffee, orange juice, Bloody Marys, and Champagne

Good Morning and Happy Mother's Day

Thanks, Jug, but THIS is a HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!!

*snags a bagel*

Happy Mudders day to youse all. Thanks for all the laughs. Even happy mom's day to the male gender.. Be secure, boys!

snork @ Punkin


THAT is better.


Yes, Punkin. Mucho better. Thanks for the treat.

Happy Mom's Day. My boss just gave me the day off. Whoo Hooo!!!!!!

bigger is better Punkin, except maybe in mechanical pen!ses

Yeah for you Med.

"bigger is better Punkin, except maybe in mechanical pen!ses"

And you know that how, Jug?????

Siouxie told me Punkin. She heard it from Annie

Dave is apparently awake (or hopefully busy making Mrs Blog breakfast) and has posted a nice poem for all mothers. You know who you are ...

whut?? huh?

*grabs schmears (whatsa schmear?? and some coffee*

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