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April 30, 2008

WHOEVER BELIEVES THIS HAS NEVER SEEN MY GARAGE

Earth is losing dirt at an alarming rate

(Thanks to sjhaller)

LO PRADO, CHILE

A City On The Rise

(Thanks to RussellMc)

MINNESOTA MULLET CONTEST RESULTS

We have a surprise winner.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

IT IS ONLY BECAUSE OF THIS BLOG'S WELL-DOCUMENTED CONCERN FOR THE EMPLOYMENT RIGHTS OF BIOLOGY TEACHERS

...that we are posting this important story, which might have a slideshow visual component, although this blog would not be aware of it because of our aforementioned laser-like focus on the issue of employment rights of biology teachers.

(Thanks to Patrick Lenon)

CREEPING FASCISM

Soon we will have no fundamental rights left.

(Thanks to Dan Sauberlich)

SO THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLING IT NOW

Man Shot In Groin Area On Love Lane

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

A RELIEVED WORLD REJOICES

The missing Pink Floyd inflatable pig has been found.

(Thanks to wiredog and jon harris and Pirateboy)

WELL THAT SETTLES THAT

Man claiming wombat rape denies he was drunk at the time

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

DUDE

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

The Duct Tape Bandit

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Siouxie)

EVEN IN SAUDI ARABIA

Guys are guys.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE WINDS UP ON A RUNWAY AT MIAMI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

Estonian police were shocked after stopping a car in a city centre and finding the driver was not only drunk but also blind.

Key Quote: "Despite the fact that I am blind, driving is something I enjoy, and I am in fact very good at it."

(Thanks to Siouxie)

SCRANTON HOCKEY UPDATE

Incredibly, alcohol may have been involved.

(Thanks to Siouxie)

SUDDENLY, GUYS IN OREGON TAKE AN INTEREST IN VOTER REGISTRATION

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)

JESUS SIGHTINGS UPDATE

Now he's showing up in ultrasounds.

Key Name: "Monet Sledge"

(Thanks to sjhaller, who says, "Lots of luck putting it on eBay.")

HARD TO IMAGINE HOW ANYTHING COULD POSSIBLY HAVE GONE WRONG

Crowley man arrested after trying to cash $360 billion check

Key Totally Believable Explanation: While inside a patrol car, police say Fuller blurted out that he is starting his own record label and had been given the money by his girlfriend’s mother to help him start it.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WHATEVER THE HELL THIS SENTENCE MEANS, WE ARE ALARMED

Imagine a three-year-old boy being booked under the Goondas Act in Uttar Pradesh?

(Thanks to ganderson27)

ADVISORY TO MEN

There's trouble brewing in Ecuador.

(Thanks to sjhaller)

ANOTHER DEFINITE SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

A volcano gnome.

M_image118eaf352b39388fad0b0a16ab2

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)

CALAMARI, ANYONE?

(Thanks to Claire Martin, Jeff Arch and petunia farmer)

Update: Check out the photos here. Especially the eyeball.

(Thanks to Siouxie)

ATTENTION ALL INDIO UNITS

Be on the lookout for Roger Waters' pig.

Update: Here's a photo.

(Thanks to sjhaller and Siouxie)

April 29, 2008

WINNIE-THE-POOH UPDATE

He has gone beyond honey.

(Thanks to Annie Where-but-here)

HEADLINE WRITER UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

(Thanks to Paul Meyer)

SO MAYBE IT'S TIME TO STOP LOOKING

Scientists have discovered a legless lizard, a toad and a dwarf woodpecker among 14 species believed to be new to science in central Brazil.

(Thanks to Lairbo and Brainy Jello)

WHATEVER THIS PRODUCT IS, WE WANT TO BUY IT

So they'll make more commercials.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

ATTENTION, SOUTH FLORIDA TOURISTS UNSURE WHERE TO GO

Here's a useful map.

(Thanks to DMS)

WOMEN, AS A GENDER

Seriously, what is WRONG with them?

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

"BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME, I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU..."

...Oh so screwed.

(Thanks to 98,329 people, all of whom pointed out that alcohol was involved)

URGENT AUSTRALIAN POLITICAL UPDATE

Seat-sniffing leader breaks down

(Thanks to many people)

CREEPING FASCISM

Now they want to take away a student's fundamental human right to have specially groomed eyebrows,  which would be a good name for a rock band.

(Thanks to shell shell, Siouxie and DavCat)

THIS TIME, IRAN HAS GONE TOO FAR

Now they're going after Barbie.

(Thanks to Siouxie and DavCat)

ELSEWHERE ABROAD

Huge beaver rampages through Russian store 'for vodka'

(Thanks to Bill Billingsly)

AND THE SO-CALLED "GOVERNMENT" DOES NOTHING

Dave,
I just heard about this on the radio here in Pittsburgh, but haven't seen a story in print yet.  It seems that the Pittsburgh Pirates accidentally gave away an obscene bobblehead at Saturday night's game against the Philadelphia Phillies.  I was actually at that game, so I went and looked at my brand new Tom Gorzelanny (he's a left-handed Pirates starting pitcher) bobblehead, and sure enough, he's sticking out the middle finger on his right hand.....it's as plain as day.  I'll attach a photo that I just took so you can judge for yourself.
 
As a FYI, every fan at PNC Park on Saturday night got one of these free upon entering......from little kids to old grandmothers.  Methinks their promotions department will be in some hot water in the coming days.
 

Trent Whitney

Bobble

LOW-FLOW-TOILET DETONATION UPDATE

Here are photos and video.

If this is not a great nation, this blog does not know what is.

(Thanks to Joe Huffman)

ANOTHER REASON WHY WE NEED GUYS

Guys have style.

(Thanks to DavCat)

WHY WE NEED GUYS

Guys take action.

Key Quote: According to police 57-year-old David Walls had been drinking when he tried to shoot down some bees flying above him using a .22 caliber revolver loaded with buckshot. Walls ended up shooting himself in the left hand causing soft tissue damage.

(Thanks to DavCat and Matt Filar)

April 28, 2008

A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE...

...can only go so far.

THE APOCALYPSE IS FAST APPROACHING

("Thanks" to Scott Weston)

WELL, IF IT'S FOR SCIENCE...

We'll run over everyone in our way make the sacrifice.

(Thanks to everyone in the known universe)

DOG OWNERS, BEWARE

They won't put up with this forever...

Dogfrog

(Thanks to Siouxie and Jeff Meyerson)

CHINESE MENU ITEM OF THE WEEK

Boss Lo Mein

(Thanks to DavCat)

UM, NO

(Thanks to DavCat)

THE INTERNATIONAL FINANCIAL CRISIS

It's getting worse.

THIS CAN ONLY LEAD TO TROUBLE

April 27, 2008

WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO TELL THIS BLOG THAT NORTH FLORIDA LACKS CULTURE

This blog surmises that these people have never heard of the Interstate Mullet Toss.

(Thanks to chicomathmom)

THIS JUST IN

(Thanks to sjhaller)

MOST FASCINATING CRAIGSLIST AD OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)

TODAY'S GOLF TIP

Never put down your club.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson(

REMEMBER WHAT TODAY IS

And observe it appropriately.

NFL DRAFT UPDATE

We are now in the 483rd scintillating hour of the NFL Draft, and it just keeps getting better. The Dolphins, with their 92nd pick, have selected a little-known linebacker our of Eastern Southwest Texas State College and University who looks like he could be very effective against the run.

 
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