CSI: NEW JERSEY

Boy breaks into Metuchen home, causes flood and flees in girl's jeans

Key, Chilling, Quote: "He may not have known he left the water running."

(Thanks to Mahatma Kane Jeeves)

Comments

[Eleanor]

Those wacky teenagers!

[Cat R]

Metuchen her jeans, but MeForgoten to turn off the water.

[Siouxie]

BRILLIANT!!!

[Siouxie]

LOL Cat. MeStoopid

[Cat R]

At least he made a clean getaway.

***groans at self***

[Richard the Weasel-Hearted]

"Guys have been trying to get into teenage girl's pants for years, this was a rather unorthodox way of pulling it off, though."

So, how we get this poster an invitation?

[Cat R]

Well, have a lovely commute, blogits.

Eldest daughter is Henrietta in HONK! tonight, and we're off to the school.

The last play of eighth grade -- her swan song, if you will.

*Snif!*

*Slinks out®*

[jug]

And I thought I did some dumb things when I was younger....

[CJrun]

He caused a flood in her jeans? That's just gross.

[jug]

Hormones and alcohol will do that CJ.

[baligurl]

Jug, dear, who's manning the blogbar? A crappy day to top off a crappy week deserves the dirtiest martini you can sling together. Please.

[Cheryl Howard]

*cops a squat on barstool next to bali*

Make that two!

[baligurl]

Hey, CHeryl, what's shakin'?

[jug]

2 dirty martinis coming up

Hello ladies

[baligurl]

I might be gonna need mine in an IV set-up, so toss the olives in a bowl. Man, what a shiteous week.

[jug]

That bad huh?
*gets out industrial vat of olives and vodka*

Want some peanuts?

[baligurl]

Oh, I'd like some nuts, alright. Preferably in a vise.

Not yours, tho.

[jug]

Well that's a relief. The boys and I thank you

[Just Ducky]

*flaps in for a moment*

jug, how 'bout a margarita? Frozen, with salt.

Howdy, Cheryl!

(((bali))) I smell X-trouble. Just Obama your nose at him.

[baligurl]

Good plan, Ducky. I'd rather beat him with a hammer.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

I liked the comments at the bottom of the article

[jug]

Here ya go Ducky.
Want some chips and salsa to go with that?

[Just Ducky]

What an excellent idea, jug. Thanks, I will.

bali, before you beat him with a hammer, call me. We'll work out your alibi.

[jug]

Some of those are pretty funny. I loved the Mensa comment.

[jug]

I'm just grateful I'm not the target for her ire. That could be painful

[CJrun]

bali, the great thing about low points is that they have so much upside.

[Cheryl Howard]

*Stirs martini and crushes nuts for bali*

Hi Ducky! Whats flappin my friend!

[jug]

Ya'll are making me wince Cheryl

[Hanna]

Just a thought. If parents got charged with the damages when their kids do stuff like this, maybe they would know where they are, who they are with, and what time they would be home.

I just see the water soaking into the floor and hundreds of dollars of repairs... Or maybe put a lien on the kid's future earnings that will follow him right to jail so he would have no cigarette money while he's there..

[baligurl]

Y'know, I wonder if the kid in the article was Emo. All the Emo boys around here wear girls' jeans. Sober. Mostly.

[jug]

Some things just aren't natural Bali, and a guy wearing a gal's jeans is one of them.

[Cheryl Howard]

*wonders why they call them cocktail nuts*

[Just Ducky]

Cheryl, I've been flapping around like a duck with her head cut off lately. I'm glad to have a chance to light and see everybody.

Hanna, that boy does seem rather young to be running wild without his folks knowing about it, but it can happen. Fortunately, not to me. I think it would be great to have him help clean up and repair the damage.

[jug]

That's a tough question Cheryl. Have another martini while you cogitate on that, and let us know what you come up with.

[Cheryl Howard]

Being the parent of an almost grown up, I can say that there will be an occasion or two when you have no idea if they are where they say they are. If you find out that they are not where they say they are--thats when the real fun begins.

[baligurl]

That's true, Cheryl. I got a phone call from the PD telling me they saw my daughter racing a trans am in my car. They kew it was my car because my business name was ON THE CAR. That was a fun conversation.

[jug]

Did she at least win bali?

[baligurl]

I guess so, Jug. She outran the cops.

[Cheryl Howard]

*tries not to laugh martini out my nose*

[CJrun]

Kids are a Bell Curve, just like most other things. One of my nieces hasn't really started college (@ 20) and works full time. She's totaled her second car, and I know about the first one; the guy T-boned her and knocked her up into somebody's porch on a quiet neighborhood street. Not her fault.

Her small business employer bought her a Jeep Liberty and she totaled it, on black ice, but some elderly stranger guy pulled off and calmed her down and told the cops she had done nothing wrong. He was driving right behind her and said she was just easing along and the Jeep floated across into an abutment. So now, her employer got her a Tahoe. I know she's just not experienced enough, as a driver, but some kids just aren't other's-jeans-putter-onners and some kids drag race. Mom's and Dad's cross fingers.

[Hanna]

I just think if parents had to pay the damages they might start thinking about keeping track of their kids better. Not that it would always be possible.

It starts, as an old cowboy preacher I heard once say, when you bring that sweet bundle home from the hospital. An infant starts shaping the behavior of parents and other caregivers right away--so much for original innocence.

[Afkat]

Well now, speaking of blogbar nuts:

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After sitting for a few minutes, he hears a voice say, "Nice tie." He looks around but doesn't see anybody near him and so he forgets about it. Some time passes and he hears the same voice say, "Nice shirt." This time he looks everywhere; behind him, up and down the bar, under the chair, behind the bar, everywhere he can think to look, but he doesn't see anyone. A few minutes later he hears, "Nice haircut." He can't stand it any more, so he calls the bartender over and tells him he has been hearing this voice but can't figure out who is speaking. The bartender says, "Oh that...that's the nuts........they're complimentary."

[baligurl]

I like that one, Afkat.

Lemme just say that that particular daughter found out very quickly that there's a whole townful of people happy to rat her out, so she's kept her nose clean ever since. Plus, her little sister (the older one calls her The Eye Of God) knows I have more money when it comes to bribery.

[Just Ducky]

*Snork/groan @ Afkat!*

Jeans, jeans, clothes on the bed
And he leaves, squeaky clean
But the water’s on low
While the drain’s plugged, and so
He’s in deep water, that teen

Jeans, jeans, they all look alike
When you’re so drunk you can’t see,
So run, if you will, it’s a short time until
You’re busted by your own jeans

Then the people you ripped off came home, found a lake
In their house, from the shower you thought you would take
When you, son, come in singin’
The cops are waitin’

With jeans, jeans; your rights you’re read
Though you thought you weren't seen
To the hoosegow you go
How’d they find out? You know,
Your wallet was in those jeans.

[jug]

Out ran the cops? That must have made them red faced, and momma both proud and po'ed.

When I was in HS I had a '65 Beetle. The only thing it ever outran was its shadow.

[baligurl]

Oh, and I agree with Hanna, the parents should have to help the son pony up the repair money. You can't get some people's attention til you get in their wallet.

[Hanna]

Baligurl--I have used that on evil stepchildren. I cultivate spies all over the neighborhood under the auspices of having safe adults to go to if we are not here. I have even stooped so low as to tell the 16-year old that I have cams planted in the place.

There needs to be a national support group for step-parents with an easy-to-find chapter on every block, I swear.

[Cheryl Howard]

jug- I had a shiny red 67 Mustang in high school. My parents were gone most of the time, but sure enough one day they came home and took the car to the market. A classmate (who had a wild 66) bagged the groceries assisted my mother to my car and proceeded to tell her how impossible it was to beat me off the line. Yep. My ride was parked for awhile. The keys were with them. (Its harder to self teach yourself how-to hotwire a car than one would think. We are talking pre-www).

I am a devoted fan of the vintage VW though. Have a fleet of them.

[jug]

My dad had a 70 Olds Cutlass drop top with a 455 c.i engine. He used to torment me by not letting me drive it and showing me how fast it was.I wish I had either one of those cars now.
I just sold a supercharged BMW 3 series. Teaching my son to drive it gave me more gray hair. That car was a lot of fun though

[Hanna]

My nephew pulled a good one when he was about 14. Went into Safeway, filled a basket full of groceries, went to a dark spot and put them in bags, then out the door. What tipped the store staff off was a kid putting Mogan-David 20-20 in his cart. He is a grown man now and still gets ribbed about that one.

Oh yeah, he paid dearly, and so did my brother-in-law.

[baligurl]

Hey, Jug, that BMW's just what I'm in the market for right now!

[Afkat]

Speaking of irony, I live in British Columbia...our main insurance company is run by our provincial government...basic insurance with them is mandatory. My son (initially)drove like a jerk, was involved in a number of collisions, until I finally took the keys away and "grounded" him from driving for six months.

Problem was, because he was a minor, I had to be included on the car's title. When the provincial insurance company could no longer find my son to impose a 75% increase in insurance premiums as a penalty....I was the only person they could find on the system.

So they dinged me for that increase, even though I had a perfect driving record. And, of the three cars I own, they happened to choose the most expensive one, meaning the greatest increase in premiums.

GRRRRRRRRRRRR....

After I restored Scott's driving privileges, he enjoyed a perfect record (and he is now a responsible driver).

It took ME 7 years to get back to my initial premium level.

Scott always gets a huge kick out of my insurance predicament...family gatherings are just a ton of fun....

[Just Ducky]

Afkat, from time to time I seriously consider making (and wearing) a T-shirt that says, "I Should Have Raised Dogs."

[Cheryl Howard]

jug-- that 65 Beetle would be my choice in a heart beat. They were so sweet about then. My 65 was modified with an external oil cooler and a little engine switch out. She flies up a hill. She flies up a biggggg hill. But man in 66 they added the windshield defrost vent. A Big Deal in cold climates.

A bug is still my first choice for a teen driver. Reliable and so easy to work on.

[jug]

It was a 93 318is without a/c, working windows and a broken suspension. I'll try to track it down for you, but get your wrenches ready

[Siouxie]

*zaps in*

((((((bali))))))) have a few more dirty 'tinis on me!!

YAY for the Duckness!!

*snork* @ afkat's nuts!

I had a Chevy Vega in HS and it couldn't outrun a Miami Beach geezer on a walker...let alone the cops. OY!!

*zaps out for now*

[Hanna]

Afkat, that is why the kids in our house are going to wait to drive until they have a job and they can buy their own insurance. We have a wonderful bus system and bus passes are relatively cheap.

[jug]

I loved that bug Cheryl. It was 'chrome yellow' with a blue interior and a killer 8 track. I traded it for a Datsun B1200 and always regretted it.

They were great little cars. I never did any other upgrades to it. It was just a great car with good gas mileage even though gas was only $.29 a gallon back then

[Just Ducky]

Thanks, Siouxie! (I thought maybe my song was invisible. Or that no one remembered The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.)

*Drinks to $.29/gallon gas*

Another margarita, please, barkeep!

[Siouxie]

$.29 a gallon?? jug, they had invented the wheel back then???

*ducks*

[jug]

I recognized the tune Ducky, do you remember the film?

*slides another margarita and more chips to Ducky*

[jug]

Heck Siouxie, we even had fire and electricity

[Hanna]

And, we thought a girl could get pregnant in the public swimming pool, from a toilet seat, or wearing a pair of jeans a boy had worn. At least, I knew two or three girls who got knocked up that way...

[baligurl]

Ah, Ducky, THAT was it. Nicely done!
Siouxie, I had a '76 Vega Wagon in college. Total POS but great gas milage. Her name was Thunder. I always name my cars.

Whut?

[Afkat]

Just Ducky:

My wife and I often used to express the following:

"We have two children, a daughter - Stacey and a son named Scott. We also have a golden retriever named Murphy.

Murphy is kind, loving, considerate, does what he's told, comes when he's called,and gives us absolutely unconditional love...

In short...Murphy is the child we never had.."

(ahh, it's much better now, they're both responsible adults and doing well...but there were times.....geez)

[jug]

You name your cars too bali? The BMW I just sold was the Little Red Rocket.

[Just Ducky]

Thanks, jug. Yes, I remember the film.

*Climbs aboard geezer bus*

Afkat, I feel the same way about my Border Collie, Crash. And, let me hasten to add, I have GOOD kids. Still...

[Mr Death]

The boy left his own pants at the house, and investigators used them to track him down, police said.

Did they advise the pants of their Miranda rights? I bet they used waterboarding. ("Talk, or next time I use bleach!")

Police arrested him Tuesday.

Due to the pants' co-operation and a plea bargain, they walked out of the courthouse with a small fine and probation.

[baligurl]

Can I just say I wish I'd never watched South Park.

[jug]

Best dog I ever had was a golden retriever named Doc. (My ex had a Pekinese named Blanche, but we won't go there). Except for the occasional times he mistook the sofa for a fire hydrant he was a wonderful dog.

[jug]

You can say that bali, but that doesn't mean we believe you.

[Jazzzz]

Mr D..... I think that's pleaT bargain

[baligurl]

I can't hear the words "red rocket" without feeling like I need a shower.

And an exorcist.

[Just Ducky]

*Snork* @ Mr. Death!

jug, Crash has been my best dog ever. He NEVER chewed on anything as a puppy except his own toys. He didn't have ONE accident in the house, even the first night we brought him home. He has completely spoiled me for other dogs.

[Just Ducky]

Jazzzzie! Have you recuperated from that golf game?

[Just Ducky]

(And *snork* @ pleat!)

[Jazzzz]

Just barely Ducky......... I have been excelling at sitting on my arse since returning. I can come up with an excuse for anything at this point. Still have a box to unpack ;-)........you will know when.

[jug]

snork @ bali
OOPS!
The new one is yet unnamed. Nothing has fit yet

[Just Ducky]

Jazzzz, no hurry. I'd think it would take awhile to bounce back after working that tourney.

[jug]

Crash sounds like a great dog Ducky. How did you come up with that name?

[baligurl]

Okay, Kids, I'm off to Snoozeland. Y'all have fun!

[jug]

Good night bali.

[Just Ducky]

(((bali))) sweet dreams!

jug, when he was a puppy, Crash would run full tilt around the yard and then, suddenly, stick all four feet out and---crash. (Also, he was pretty clumsy. Skidded into stuff regularly. His brakes weren't too good.)

[jug]

That's too funny Ducky. What a hoot that must have been. Puppies are fun like that

[Just Ducky]

He was adorable, jug. All auburn and white fur, and bright blue eyes. As he got older, his eyes and his coat turned brown. He's still a handsome guy, though.

Guess it's time for me to flap away, too. Thanks for the drinks & chips, jug. You're a great bartender.

See y'all later! Nighty-night!

[jug]

I'm outta here too
Good night all

[Lou Bricant]

Pardon my Dave Barry French, but how is this a Caption Contest (ala the Permalink) sans photo?

However, without a photo, I submit:

Lee Vigh, made a quick getaway, thanks to his Jordache Jeans he was wearing. The arresting officer was quoted as saying, "Thieves like this are GarAnimals."

[Ednausean]

DRUNK IN METUCHEN?

More like PISSED IN PISCATAWAY

Is that giant light bulb still in someone's yard?

[daisymae]

Looks like everybody's sleeping late.

(Kickstarts blog coffee machine, sets lox, bagels & cream cheese)

Happy Passover to any who are celebrating!

[daisymae]

Looks like everybody's sleeping late.

(Kickstarts blog coffee machine, sets lox, bagels & cream cheese)

Happy Passover to any who are celebrating!

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Don' forget, it caturday on fark . . .

[jug]

Thanks for the coffee and bagels daisymae.

[baligurl]

It's not late here, but coffee is never a bad idea. I made cinnamon rolls-dig in! Mornin', Jug.

[Meanie the Blue]

Whoa! Who put the huge dent in the coffeemaker?

*Schmears hisself a bagel* Thanks, good morning, and Happy Passover to all Passoverers.

[jug]

Cinnamon rolls and bagels. Its my lucky day. Morning Bali, Meanie

[Meanie the Blue]

*Politely grabs a cinnamon roll, so as not to offend*

*Adds batch of soft boiled eggs to table*

[Jeff Meyerson]

Nah, been up for hours, daisymae, but thanks for the breakfast.

[daisymae]

Mmmm...brunch on the blog! Thanks, bali!

It's gorgeous in SoFla today. No rain, highs 80. Think I'll pull some weeds (not too many ).

[Eleanor]

*zips in*™

I love soft boiled eggs. Thanks, Blue. :)

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