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March 20, 2008


China wants to improve its sign translations to avoid misunderstandings.


(Thanks to sjhaller)

Here's a similar story
(thanks to Siouxie).


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I'm confused. Am I supposed to mind my own crotch or someone else's?

Either way it's a good thing, Suz!! :D

Really, that's quite a thoughtful reminder. Each culture has their own way of expressing the same thought. For example, the English have "Mind the gap."

What Suzy said.. Also my crotch minds a lot of stuff, being bumped, etc., so I find this warning quite helpful. ;)

For guys, isn't this redundant?

Annie, they just scratch it.

Anyone for crap eggs this morning???

These sound like the ramblings in most of the spam mail I get. Or maybe I'm thinking of the notes from my mom.

Crap. And I need to disturd really bad.

"Now the contestant from China will attempt the triple axel followed by an inside axel and then the most difficult jump of all, the mind crotch. Back to you, Jim."

"Umm, Jim died a few years ago."

"Oh, then never mind."

Oh, say it ain't so...

Bu shi!

Guys, "Don't forget to carry your thing". Words to live by.

LOL some of those are just too much. How can they even PRINT this stuff without checking??

I hate it when suddenness happens ... !

Me, too, Steve!

Hi, Hammie! Waved at you <--- a thread back. :D

Longer, larger . . .

Here's some more lovely Chinglish.

And there's always Engrish.com which covers more than just Chinese....

No wonder the whole toilet controversy will not rest.

MKJ?? Longer, larger fart??

Here's some more -- the one about the leaking pen is a classic ...

*SNORKSNORKSNORK* @ MKJ!!! I think that must be Mud Airlines.

Chinese dining could eventually become a problem with westerners. "So number 3...the pork with fresh garbage comes with eggroll?". "On second thought, I'll just have the cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce."

If we can't scratch the relic just how are we to spend our days?

rascal, in China, that could be EXACTLY what you get.

The slippery are truly crafty. They are running for office.

Not you Dave.

hold the Olympics in New Orleans!


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I love Chinese food; the waiters' seldom rude...

You know, Dave is planning on covering the Olympics this summer and I really don't think those folks get the whole 'humor' thing. Maybe he needs to post a Thesarus with handy translations, such as 'wombat=riot', or 'curlew=unbreathable air'.

I think I saw Mind Crotch open for the Rock Bottom Remainders once. Or maybe it was the other way around.


CJ, I wonder if the Chinese have a word for "booger" ...

I love Chinese food; the waiters' seldom rude...

The policies of the new Abraham Obama or John McSherman are status quo plus one quo. This does not serve either the interests or needs of the nation. However, an historic coalition of the ideas and constituencies of Nader, Paul and Kucinich under the rubric of the Independent Party Platform, http://” independenthope.blogspot.com, would offer real change not simply change of personality. Real change for our nation and real hope for the world.
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Ph: 305-304-7038

Stev0 - was that in West Hollywood?

Hold the Olympics in New Orleans? Well, they might have to sanction a whole BUNCH of new sports. The Bourbon Street Brawl, the Café du Monde beignet-eating contest, javelin tossing in Jackson Square, French Quarter Freeboarding.... They could call it the Garden District Games.


NOOOO! More spam!

Yanno, we have to jump through hoops to post, but Lyn and Bridget here? They must be related to the bot.

ah, spammers. this gives me a chance to use my new stun gun. since i get over 200 messages a day that want to help me get a longer, stronger penis, i had to get something for self-defense.

Siouxie, can you run down to Sugarloaf Key and break someone's leg for me? Pretty please?

I'd heard that men might think with parts other than with their brain. This is the first time I've seen a sign about it though.

*waves broken leg @ Hammie*
...could lead to sports fans taking the mickey out of the Olympics.
'mickey'? translation from for to Mandarin to Engrish, s'il vous plait?

Good AM all!

Hammie, I'll cover the trip to the Keys... anytime.

Gets pretty bad when the spam postings outnumber the humorous ones, huh?

i'll go! any excuse to head for they keys.

Sure, Hammie. Anything for you.

*packs her machete and kickass boots*

*heads down to the Keys*

Ohhhh Bridget?????

GIRLY ROAD TRIP!!!! woooooooo hoooooooooo

Morning Diva! ^5 on your "related to the bot" comment!!!

Ummm, Steve, concerning your link where this appears: 2) General Motors had a very famous fiasco in trying to market the Nova car in Central and South America. "No va" in Spanish means, "It Doesn't Go", I have only one comment. I formerly owned a 1969 Nova that frequently was "No va."

Morning, Tex!! How's your weather these days?

LOL, wicked!

Siouxie, 2 spammers this morning. Doesn't your machete work on them?

*waves hi to ec* I meant to the other day. How goes it?

Absolutely gorgeous first day of spring, Diva. A great day to continue my losing battle against the live oak leaves and the sprouting weeds in the backyard. *sneeze!*

Hiya El,
It goes, y'know, it goes...

Oh Sioux, I meant to mention. I got my latest Wms-Sonoma catalog. They have a machete sharpener in it. Just sayin'...

Thank you, Bridget. From now on, I'll be using your email address when I surf p0rn sites.

They completely Chinglish "Please stay off the grass" but can use crenelated correctly?? WTFBBQ?

ec, you're a pal!!! (btw, it went ---->)

OH CJ??? I am currently reading Stormy Weather. SOOOOO funny so far!

Honestly, Sio, I think Carl is mellowing with time. "Tourist Season" or "Skin Tight" are more my cup of tea. Bring on the hideous arm-attachments, I say!

For me, his best character is the ex-governor.

ec - was he the one who hid out in the 'glades & cooked roadkill? I loved him, too.

DBFPOTUS Board sign:

Watch out, major Snorkage. Do not spray...


Can I stay home from work today, y'all??It's not like my patients listen to me...

Yes daisy, among many other antics. I cannot go over the Card Sound bridge on my way to the Keys without thinking of ex-gov Tyree, just because of the way Hiaasen descibed Skink attaching a rope at the summit...

*writes a work excuse for EB to stay home from work today. sends it to the principal the boss.*

See? 'Skink' is a classically evil/hero, plus he wears a dashing shower cap. Chemo had that flashy weed-eater thing going for him. And I don't remember that other bad guy's name, but he seemed very kind to that dog on his arm.

I don't see Skink as evil at all. Okay, he offs a few folks, but by the time he does, the reader is seething with the desire to do the same to the offensive character... and wouldn't be half as creative about it as the ex-gov does it.

*zlips in*

In this book, I just got introduced to "Skink" and I LOVE what he's doing to that jerk with the camera. Definitely a character.

*zlips out*

Sio, did you ever read "Tourist Season"? That's the one where Skink offs tourists; my hero!

Hey! I've been enjoying this blog for a couple of weeks now, and thought I'd FINALLY stop *lurking* and post.

Hey D!
Welcome, welcome, welcome. Happy postings!

BTW D, love the moniker.

Welcome D-Lited!!

ohh CJ yes I did (you bought it for me, silly!)

soooooooooooo that's Skink??

D2B, welcome to this strange mix of characters, er, lewd and crude group, um, lovely and erudite intellectuals (yeah, that's the politically correct one).

*Hands D2B a ticket for a free drink at the blog bar, along with a warning to watch out for the lemon and lime wedges*

Skink=Governor Tyree.

I'm pretty sure he was in that one, but it's probably been 20 years since I read it.

DL2BH, new Bloglits have to tend the BlogBar, so you better start icing down the brews. :]

Welcome, DL2BH. Umm, where's the beer?

...and Gov. Tyree's first name is Clinton.

*saunters off whistlin'*

Welcome, D2B! :) It's fun 'round these parts. I hope you're a night owl like me!

I think I found the beer, Hammie.

Div, you have got to stop posting photos of my dates!!!

ec, he's also dating you? Why that two-timing, lowdown #$&^%$$ pig!

*'borrows' the Sioux's machete to perform a small surgical procedure*

Hey - save a Mojito for me - LOTSA LIMES!!!

Tex, we sure know how to pick 'em, huh?!?!

btw - Texgal - what part of TX are you from (if I might ask)????

Ooooh, the new D drinks mojitos. We's gonna' be fast friends...

A mojito, D-L?! FRIEND!!! :D *passees D-L a lovely limey mojito.* Enjoy!!

psychic simul, ec! Haven't had one of those for a while. *passes ec a smoke*

Houston -- home of the maniac freeway drivers.

Thanks much!! *enjoys wonderful mojito* These Miami ones are the BEST!!!

LOL! I avoid Houston when I can. I'm from (not so) Deep East Texas. (btw - how do you do that cross out words thingy?)

... only because I have been limited in my blogging time lately, Div. Otherwise, it would be happening all the time, remember?

*deep east Texas? what's that - Louisiana?*

Ah, yes! I remember it well.

Diva, you can blow smoke rings??? Very impressive!

*thinks that Texgal might need to try a mojito, 'cause it's been a long, long, long time since she's been a virgin in almost all things*

D2B -- where in east TX?

*pours mojito in tall, chilled glass. garnishes with Key lime wedge & more fresh mint sprig*
Here ya' go, Tex. Enjoy, enjoy...

Tex - Live in Palestine, work in Tyler.

ec - almost in La

D2B, I believe that strike throughs are:
Let's see if I'm totally off the mark incorrect. Someone will advise, I'm sure.

*ooooooooooooooooo -- the earth moved - pants repeatedly*

Thanks ec!!!! Mighty tasty!

Ah Tyler. The home of one Earl Campbell. Pretty part of the world up there.

Oops! And I used to be a trainer????
less than symbol,s,greater than symbol,the word,less than symbol,/s,greater than symbol
Leave out the commas.

Yes it is, Doc. I love it here, especially when everything is covered in flowers and *achoo* pollen. Ahhh, the yellow haze season...

ec - strikethrough - that's it...

Jeez, ec. D2B, use [s]whatever[/s], and replace [ with < and ] with >. BlogBar's Open!

(s)Roy Oswalt pitching(/s) except use < and > in place of ( and ).

My daughter attends a Chinese immersion kindergarten so I asked her what it said. She didn't know but the last character is pronounced, "toe-fuh."

(We're getting our money's worth out of this school.)

D2B, what a relief!!!! Was afraid that you'd say Beaumont.

Is the Methodist church camp named Lakeview still operating? When I was a teenager, before dirt was invented, I almost got booted out of that camp, along with the quarterback from Thomas Jefferson High in Port Arthur. *remembers back to her early raunch days* He would have been well worth the expulsion.

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