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March 01, 2008


Miami Herald reporter and very tall person Doug Hanks has written a book called Barguments, which is basically a list of good things to argue about in a bar. Mrs. Blog and I recently met Doug in a bar to have a few beers and bargue about some important issues. Incredibly, I was always right.


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Nascar is more of a sport than sailing? Is the measure amount of physical effort required or amount of skill required? I vote for level of skill required = Nascar. (I don't think level of danger is the measure, Dave, or that would make jumping out of airplanes a sport.)

Good one, Dave. I like Mrs. Blog more and more.... ;-)

Notices that alcohol was involved. But Dave, if you're using Sophie to change the channels if you don't have a remote, how can she get you a beer when she has to change the change the channel every 30 seconds? She won't have time to run to the fridge and back.

It would also make arguing in bars a sport, Daisy.

Come to think of it, arguing with your wife in bars would be an extreme sport.

Dave, you should've hung in there. Imagine how much work it is to muscle a car without ac or automatic transmission or power steering, 'cause they all weigh, around a track for how many hours in 90-100+ heat, and hotter in the car. The drivers have to war a cool suit, I believe, but it doesn't do it all. This next to sitting on the deck of a boat, in the breeze, occasionally working feverishly. I think you coulda won that one...

That's really good Dave. I can't stop laughing. It just goes to realize how much one can miss your short articles.

And margaritas over mojitos, hands down.


I have actually gone days watching the same channel because the remote was lost.

Is that bad?

You should have sent for Sophie.

Meanie - but then I would've had to get up.

If I'm going out drinking with an ex-President, I'm drinking with Bill Clinton. You just know that there will be booze, babes, and after a couple rounds, more clothes on the floor than the aftermath of a sales at Filene's Basement.

I switched screens long ago - I use the mouse to switch channels and read the contents usually, with the exception of some YouTube stuff....

NASCAR is not a sport.... Driving fast and turning left, I do that all the time. Sometimes I even turn right, which apparently you are not supposed to do in NASCAR.

I think that if NASCAR wanted to be a sport, they would install turn signals and require the drivers to use their signals every time they turned left or wanted to pass. Make it more like Miami traffic.

Med, I agree with you on Mrs. Blog. Dave knows how to pick 'em.

Dave should also win Father of the Year because of his commitment to juvenile physical fitness. Sophie will be very fit from running to change the channel and to fetch beers. He's the Man!

Zaphod Beeblebrox would be by ex-Presidential drinking buddy of choice.

Random, my man, don't forget the cigars. One never knows when a good cigar might come in handy.

I would have to say the Presidential candidate that I would most like as a drinking buddy would have to be our very own Dave Barry FP,YOTUS.

Meanie...true (arguing in bars a sport), also it would make working with wild animals a sport (think whatziname & Roy).

People who think that NASCAR is a sport and not sailing haven't sailed and think sitting in traffic should be called a sport.

Dave, my dad used to call us in from playing in the front yard outside to change the channel for him. And get him a beer. If you beer suddenly starts to blow up in your face more than usual when you open it, suspect Sophie.

But what about arguing in a bar about working with wild animals Daisymae? Is there a loophole somewhere (besides the tax codes I mean)?

Cheese -- I didn't say sailing's not a sport. I'm just saying that I've been in sailing races, and I've driven a NASCAR car on a race course, and in my opinion, NASCAR racing requires more athletic ability. Of course I could be wrong. I also should note that, given a choice between watching a sailing race and watching a NASCAR race, I would take a nap.

Why wouldn't a guy want a friend on a island? It's not logical. A friend could help you build a fire, shelter, fish, and if they died first you would eat very well for a month or two.

Some of the questions from the book. With correct answers provided...

  • If you could marry into any family, which would you choose?

    • Dave Barry

  • Is it harder to be a pitcher or a running back?

    • Pitcher

  • Name the best television theme song of all time.

    • Peter Gunn

  • Who talks about sex more: men or women?

    • Men

Q: Who talks more about sex: men or women?

A: Yes. Oh, GOD, YES!

ig., from the same era, "secret agent man" was a pretty good theme song...

My question about the desert island issue is this:

Would it be cable TV with all the premium channels? Because that would factor into my answer.

Good morning, igloo. *snork*

ig and el, congrat on the nuptuals. The wedding gift check's in the mail. (wink, wink)

tosses up an "s" for congrat.

Man, do they do one day shipping? As soon as this hangover clears (Tuesday afternoon if experience is any guide (not for me)) I'm going down the street to the pub. I could use some new talking points.

El and I will have the most blissful of unions. She on the west coast, me on the east coast. Absence truly makes the heart grow fonder.

I agree.

Living together never works out. :)

There's the toilet seat thing, the crumbs in bed thing, the who has the remote thing, who's cooking, who's doing laundry, etc. In other words, living together is a recipe for disaster.

Like...wow, Meanie, man! That would be rrreally great!

*downs a Pangalactic Gargle Blaster, followed by a jinnantonix*

Lovely book, but if a guy's gotta bring a book to a bar to start an argument with me, he's not lasting long. One hand for your beer. One hand for defending yourself. Ain't no extra hand for a dang book.
BUT if there's a volume two, I'm more than willing to be a part of the research team.
Iggy, we missed you last night.

Wow. It was almost like reading a fresh Dave article. Yay!!

Another advantage to drinking with Zaphod - an extra hand? (And an extra head, for extra argument).


While I've never driven a NASCAR machine I have been a grinder (heavy duty, two handed winch) on a racing sailboat. It's hard labor requiring a fair bit of precision.

Sailing might win in the boring catagory though but with much less pants wetting.

This is a non argument. NASCAR is hands down the tougher sport. Just the sheer amount of physical skill it requires to operate one of those cars at 185mph kicks sailing's sorry butt right out of the bar. That being said, I'm not saying sailing isn't a valid sport. It does require a heavy amount of physical effort at times, but in brief bursts. A lot of the time your sitting around and waiting to be told to do something. At least thats the way it looks on ESPN when they have covered the America's Cup.

The couch, or in my case recliner, over the remote. Like Dave, I have a 6 year old and he likes to punch buttons anyway so it wouldn't be a big stretch. And JFK over Bill on a president I'd like to have a beer with. He ran with a much higher class of skank in his day and the Kennedy's are raging drinkers with a fortune in the bank. I doubt I'd have to buy a single round.

This book may turn barguing into a recognized sport.

Name the best television theme song of all time.
Peter Gunn is a great answer but the one that I always get stuck in my head is the theme from Hawaii 5-O.

"He ran with a much higher class of skank in his day."

Doc, yes he did, and was quite a bit more discreet about it.

And so was the press,Texgal. They knew about all of it, but they didn't print it.

Very true, el. Nowadays, skank du jour is more their style.

Hands down, the President you want to pal around with is George Washington. From all accounts, he was charming, witty and threw a great party with the best food and a great wine cellar.

Besides, think of the stories!!! Yorktown, Trenton, Indian fighting, Ben Franklin's affairs, that idiot Sam Adams! Valley Forge!


I'd have to agree about the president thing. Lincoln was the coolest and funniest president.

Sailing or race cars: sailing is way more difficult. I grew up sailing with a long line of sailors stretching back to the Vikings. Turn the key in the ignition and drive really fast. Done that in Alphas and Porches. You have a pit crew. Furthermore you are on land.

Cast off, raise the sails, take the tiller and God knows what will happen next. You could be becalmed drifting onto barnacle encrusted rocks. Giant thunder storms appear out of no where. It's easy to get completely lost. Gusty winds appear out of no where. You can get your rudder snarled up in lobster pots.

mmmmm, lobster. Yummy.

Bear v. Lion?

Depends on the bear. If we're talking a Grizzly, they weigh up to 1800 lbs! They would just stomp a lion to death.

A Polar Bear would just wait until the lion froze.

A Koala Bear would get its butt kicked by a lion, that's pretty certain!

A Panda would cute the lion to death!


Best tv show song?

The Beverly Hillbillies! The song tells the whole story, it's very catchy and it has Earl Scruggs and Lester Flatt playing it!

Arguments and alcohol: what could go wrong? I think that's how a lot of normally mild-mannered folks end up in ERs. Better you should just go a few more steps down the hall to Abuse...

*zips in*™

Do you think pandas know how cute they are? I wonder about that all the time....

*hopes this doesn't mean she has too much time on her hands*

I think Pandas HAVE to aware of how cute they are. They just do the darndest cute things. It can't be pure chance.

There are 1100 videos of cute pandas on youtube!


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