ATTENTION, TARGET SHOPPERS
(Thanks to MizLizard)
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March 13, 2008
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Yet another reason to shop online...
Posted by: Mrs. DDi Sparkly | March 13, 2008 at 03:03 PM
EWWWWW!!!!
Posted by: rob | March 13, 2008 at 03:03 PM
Misdemeanor harassment? How about felony assault with a disgusting and virus filled weapon?
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | March 13, 2008 at 03:05 PM
pretty short on details. more facts please. did he bring it in the store in a squirt gun, did he whip it out in the check out line, come on, we need the details.
Posted by: wickedwitch | March 13, 2008 at 03:08 PM
Masturbating for distance and accuracy... Not only was he on Target, she was the bullseye.
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlýff | March 13, 2008 at 03:09 PM
I'm going to bet on the squirt gun theory, and I'm going to bet a lot on that. A large sum of money on that.
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | March 13, 2008 at 03:10 PM
well, squirt gun is one name for it..
Posted by: crossgirl | March 13, 2008 at 03:12 PM
ah, a connoisseur Baron, i didn't know.
Posted by: wickedwitch | March 13, 2008 at 03:12 PM
First line of the story (in bold) states that he was stroking the poodle.
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlýff | March 13, 2008 at 03:12 PM
Come again?
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | March 13, 2008 at 03:13 PM
sorry Baron, i must have had something in my eye.
Posted by: wickedwitch | March 13, 2008 at 03:13 PM
Only a well practiced amateur, ww. I have never been in any contests. I just appreciate the sport.
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlýff | March 13, 2008 at 03:14 PM
Clackamus Oregon must really suck.
Posted by: sippilizard | March 13, 2008 at 03:14 PM
Anonymous tip? I though the tip was identified. I'm confused, but then I'm easily confused.
Do you think the store broadcast "clean up on aisle 11?"
Posted by: Peter M | March 13, 2008 at 03:15 PM
Stroking the poodle? come on Baron, macho it up a bit. I prefer 'disciplining the rottweiler.'
Posted by: random thunking | March 13, 2008 at 03:19 PM
Chaffing the chihuahua.
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | March 13, 2008 at 03:20 PM
IF convicted they MIGHT have him tested for disease?
Posted by: Kermit | March 13, 2008 at 03:20 PM
I can't wait for Wal-Mart to exploit this.
Posted by: Merri Lee | March 13, 2008 at 03:20 PM
I didn't know they had 'greeters' at Target.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 13, 2008 at 03:22 PM
I thought this would have happened at Home Deposit.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | March 13, 2008 at 03:23 PM
snork at AWbh, you are so bad. but in a good way.
Posted by: wickedwitch | March 13, 2008 at 03:24 PM
" ... Unsuspecting Target Shopper"
Is there another subset of Target shoppers that in fact suspects this might happen?
Posted by: Danny | March 13, 2008 at 03:39 PM
ty, ww. Just don't tell my parole officer.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 13, 2008 at 03:40 PM
Yanking the yorkie perhaps?
and in this case, the intended female was already 'with child'
^5s @ Baron, the voyeur connoisseur well practiced amateur.
*bows down in total awe and messes up his aim*
Posted by: Texgal | March 13, 2008 at 03:41 PM
Must have been in the "do it yourself" section of the "tool" department.
Posted by: Baron of Gray Matter | March 13, 2008 at 03:44 PM
if i am forced to enter Target or Wal-Mart, i immediately suspect everyone around me. i'm always afraid of what some of those people are capable of doing/spreading. maybe it's just in my area but those are two stores you'll have to have your vaccinations updated before entering.
Posted by: wickedwitch | March 13, 2008 at 03:44 PM
That doesn't mess up my aim, Texgal... it just give me a new Target.
Posted by: Bãrön vønKlýff | March 13, 2008 at 03:46 PM
Seeing as the child was there, I'm wondering why there wasn't a charge about indecency with a minor added on or something. GADS!!!!
Posted by: Diva | March 13, 2008 at 03:59 PM
No mo' yanky mah wankie!
Posted by: Long Duck Dong | March 13, 2008 at 04:00 PM
*searches for a sanitizing face towelette, gives up and wipes semen off nose with the back of hand*
Note to self: Store burka style rain gear in Honda for all future Target shopping trips.
Posted by: Texgal | March 13, 2008 at 04:11 PM
*hands Tex a wipe*
Posted by: Monk | March 13, 2008 at 04:13 PM
You'll thank me later.
Posted by: Monk | March 13, 2008 at 04:14 PM
*wonders HOW Monk wishes to be 'thanked'*
Posted by: Texgal | March 13, 2008 at 04:19 PM
Can I be the first to say On Target, At Target.
Posted by: BeerMan | March 13, 2008 at 04:20 PM
Beerman, baron beat ya to it.
Posted by: Rosie | March 13, 2008 at 04:34 PM
Reminds me of that Seinfeld's Visa commercial: "Classic oversqueeze."
Posted by: Dr. Bob | March 13, 2008 at 04:56 PM
..."deputies got an anonymous tip"...
Apparently the woman did too.
Posted by: Doc Rick | March 13, 2008 at 05:03 PM
Flaying the flugelhorn?
Posted by: BKNY | March 13, 2008 at 05:06 PM
Ok, so I clinked on the article, and the advertisements at the bottom were for teeth whitener and Newt Gingrich's newsletter. I'm not sure which was more ironic.
Posted by: jugheaded | March 13, 2008 at 05:38 PM
Where's the blue light special?
Posted by: Siouxie | March 13, 2008 at 05:52 PM
Sounds like a toss up to me, juggie.
Posted by: Texgal | March 13, 2008 at 06:02 PM
K-Mart, Siouxie. =D
Posted by: Diva | March 13, 2008 at 06:16 PM
This jist of this story will escalate and stiffen into an impending eruption with news of a lawyer raising bones into department store and 'In-store' sex act statutes. Target-will-be-held-accountable.
Posted by: lil rascal | March 13, 2008 at 06:20 PM
Diva, K-Marts still exist in your neck of the woods? The chain pulled out of TX years ago.
Posted by: Texgal | March 13, 2008 at 06:28 PM
There's a K-Mart here (NE Texas), and I know of one in Abilene, but they really have thinned out.
On the other hand, I think I've seen a grand total of two male shoppers at the local Target (Okay, more, but not much more.)
Posted by: Glix | March 14, 2008 at 01:14 AM
Come on where are the facts?
Was she wearing a blue dress?
Was her name Monica by any chance?
Was a cigar involved?
The fact man the facts.
Posted by: AKRefugee | March 14, 2008 at 08:38 AM