THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? RIGHT??

Celebrity Curling

(Thanks to oneblankspace)

(If it's not a joke, I may be available. I have experience.)

Comments

[daisymae]

Just makes it almost irresistible to be a sports writer, doesn't it, Dave?

[DeskDiva]

And here I thought this was gonna be an article about one of these guys.

[Onterrible]

Curling is the only sport that I know of that REQUIRES the losing team to purchase the winning team a drink after the match (and so on and so on). And, having a cocktail during the game is considered normal behaviour.

[Afkat]

Heh. Yet another step towards our sly plan to take over the US...

BWAAAAAAHAHAAAHAAA...

[OkieDokie]

Springsteen is a "closet curler"? SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!!

[Wench Lizzy]

Oh. I thought that was going to be about rolling a joint.

[Lairbo]

The only way you'd get me to watch curling (without physical restraints and Clockwork Orange-style eye-openers) is if celebrities were doing it, and even then, don't count on me coming back after the first commercial break.

[random thunking]

If Tommy Lee were to "Sling the Hot Bunny", would Pamela Anderson get frostbite?

[Steve Haller]

I can see it now -- a Curling Strumpdate ...

[fivver]

Don't knock it until you try it!

[Rampaging Bug]

"Hurry Hard" sounds like it should be a V!agra slogan.

[Steve Haller]

Can you imagine the Swedish lesbians flinging their puppy across the floor?

[Suzy Q]

I thought curling was completely ridiculous until I got hooked on watching it during the last Olympics. It's really quite entertaining. And, if they add semi-drunk celebs to the mix, well...I'm there!

[fivver]

Steve, I'm imagining the Bikini Ice Fishing team curling. Sweep hard indeed.

[Lairbo]

All in favor of an intervention for Suzy Q's horrible addiction meet at 6:45. At the usual place. And this time don't bring the torches and pitchforks.

[DeskDiva]

*extinguishes flaming pitchfork* Rats.

[Cheryl Howard]

I have a curling iron and I know how to skip. Can I play?

[Suzy Q]

*hangs head*

My name is Suzy Q and I am a curling addict. Pass the alcohol!

[DeskDiva]

*applauds Cheryl*

[SpamLamb]

I'm with Suzy. Curling is hypnotic. I think that big circle thing is like that swirl thing they used to use to actually hypnotize people. Plus, where else can you find guys with stones like those???

[igloo]

When I first read Dave's Lead-in I thought it was "Celebrity Hurling". Now that would be a reality show I could get into.

[Adult delinquent]

I finally get to where I can tolerate the Baggo tournaments at the bar I frequent and now you want me to get into "curling'?

Come on.... there are limits to my attention span.

Even with medication.

[Melissa]

This is what happens when rocks stars don't OD and die like they're supposed to.

[ArcticAl]

I have to say that I have curled recreationally for years and that I curled competively four or five days a week for several years. It is not as easy as it looks. The guys on the front end who do all the sweeping train pretty heavily with weights to build up the arm muscles. Watching a skilled skip throw a 40 lb, 12 in diameter rock 115 feet down the ice and pass it through a 13 in hole to take out three of the opposing team's rocks in a shot that would make a pool player proud is pretty amazing to see. Plus any sport that lets you drink while playing and makes you share a drink (or three) with the other team after the game is ok by me.

[Siouxie]

Can I just forget about the curling and have those guys come sweep my house?

Al - HUH???

[Afkat]

And some of the fdemale curlers in Canada are...errr...well, Hot...

[CJrun]

Our water doesn't freeze, down here. Maybe we can try it with milk jugs and canoe paddles?

[Siouxie]

CJ, and a vacuum cleaner! Why go through all that trouble sweeping.

[Cheryl Howard]

Curling with a vacuum cleaner? Would that be a Hoover Maneuver?

[CJrun]

Sio, step away from the shower with that hair dryer!

[Wes S.]

The only way you'd get me to watch curling (without physical restraints and Clockwork Orange-style eye-openers) is if celebrities were doing it, and even then, don't count on me coming back after the first commercial break.

Posted by: Lairbo | 03:16 PM on February 12, 2008

Even celebrity curling doesn't really appeal to me, Lairbo.

I'd rather watch a show featuring the celebrities in physical restraints and Clockwork Orange-style eye openers, myself.

[daisymae]

Snorking at CJ & Wes (it's the visual)

[Eleanor]

I'm with Suzy Q here. I watched some of it at the last Olympics and you really get hypnotized (sp?) even though you don't exacly understand it. My favorite is the sweeping ahead part. It's so silly. And I'd watch anything Jon Bon Jovi is doing! And then if Dave was in it too - well, how much better could it get? And mrs. Blog could report on it.

[Cheryl Howard]

Okay, clearly we need tee's.

Dave, please get busy and get on the team already.

Yours (and Jon's) cheerleading squad awaits.

[WriterDude]

I'm with Suzy Q and the Canadians (wbagnfarb) on this one. Curling is oddly appealing even to spectators who don't participate, not unlike this sport. (Note: you're about to see a "perfect game" thrown, just so's you knows.)

[WriterDude]

Oh, and El too. Y'all can work her into the band name for blog practice. Or something.

[DeskDiva]

WD - that was amazing! (And hilarious how the guy started shouting, "Man, oh, man!" in English afterwards.

[John Durkin]

The Canadian indie rock band The Weakerthans has several members who curl. They actually have a song on their most recent album called "Tournament of Hearts" that uses curling as a figure of speech for a romantic relationship. The singer is hanging out in a lounge instead of going home to his wife:

[i]So Elvira brings my bottle, hold it up and let it bend
Figures of two rinks battling an extra end
And I'm peeling off the label as they peel a corner guard
Dance down the sheet to the tune of "Hurry, Hurry Hard"
And my popcorn squeaks with the question, wonders why I'm not at home
Where you wait beside a silent telephone, doodle circles within circles all alone
Have to stop myself from climbing on the table full of empties to yell:

"Why, why can't I draw right up to what I want to say?"
"Why can't I ever stop where I want to stay?"
I slide right through the day, I'm always throwing hack weight[/i]

[Rosie]

At least we get to see men holding brooms not beer.

[Suzy Q]

Rosie, it's men holding brooms AND beer! Best of both worlds.

[curler]

I've been curling for about a year now, and I've taught a bunch of people. Let me tell you, once you try the sport you'll love it. All it takes is a 15-minute training session, then play a game, and the people have a blast. You also don't need to be physically fit to play. It's a great social sport, plus it's the only sport where you drink as much as you play. It's a rather cheap sport as well. All you really need to pay for is club membership (the club provides brooms, sliders, grippers). I've been told that, in the US, you have the greatest chance of going to the olympics with a curling team, since it's not that popular here yet. You should try it if you haven't yet.