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February 29, 2008

PRODUCTIVITY ENHANCER OF THE DAY FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS

(Thanks to Scott MGS)

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Hello, it's me...

Holy Sh!t! I just heard "You Are So Beautiful" on WMNF, Joe Cocker and Placido Domingo, or at least that's what it sounded like. ISIANMTU! What a planet!

It's a great song CJ. I'm not surprised Placido would do it, just not at this moment in time. For the life of me I thought Joe Cocker died around 1992. Apparently I was mistaken.

And WMNF? There's a Monday Night Football station out there? Sweet!

Okay, good thread everybody. It's a wrap. CJ, best on-topic comment goes to your 22/7 comment.

Well, I seem to have closed the blog for the night. I hired Siouxie's pool boy as a cook for the blog bar. He seems to speak some sort of gibberish that I figure may be Armenian(NTTAWWT). Anyway, I had him cook up breakfast for the early risers and the loaded late night peeps who might be wandering in periodically. Have a good morning and remember, you could always vote for Nader...whatever that means. Niters Y'all!

Well, except for Scott lurking out there. Just so you know Scott, what doubles for bacon in Armenia smells a lot like smoked yak innards. I could be wrong but my years spent in the gulag that was the ex-wife's apartment lead me to believe that it is indeed yak guts.

*adds an "s" to "lead" even though no one cares at this point*

CJ rant\

So I quit my job on December 31st, doing my John Gault thing, but I hate the idea of disengaing from this crazy society.

I'm well aware that I'm not normal in any normal sense, but I have partied with Peter Macintosh and I consider him my bud, even though I am somewhat to the right of Henry VIII. When I was a kid, Lake Erie was in flames, (actually, a tributary), but cg has no memory of it. If something makes her mad, she just closes her ears and sings 'LaLaLa,' literally.

I am considering a job that may make me be 'Big Fake Guy,' falsely doing my Ayn Rand thing, but it's that job we never get offered. I know, within reason, what is on the bottom of the East River or the Hudson. Never worked on them, but I bet I know what's there. I have probably worked on lakes and streams where you live, because people make me go look at things, which is why Dave puzzles me; why on Earth would he ever go near MIA when he has a good airport, nearby.

Honest truth, the biology guy from MIA introduced himself to me when I was last down there and asked me to look him up. This was a very nice person, but I think he was out of his mind. Miami is the Crazy Place! The pond behind Sio's house has fish so big they would sink my remote-controlled boats. This is not a normal place!

I clean rivers or basements and I try to make them not explode, anymore. I also try to discourage the whole bursting into flames thing. I quit my job and I was very happy having done that, but I am now being faced with a job that I wasn't pursuing and it pays more than the job I left, plus it's more fun.

Life just sucks. I was determined to be a job-quitter and it isn't working out well. cg is being very supportive and 'you don't need a job right now' and 'you can keep your boat in the yard' right now, but this is Phase II NPDES stuff. That should be gobbledegook to everybody else, which is the point. I know what Phase II NPDES is and this is the sort of stuff I live for, so I'm applying for a desk job and I'm not a desk person. I don't work for the government unless the government gives me a project and asks me to clean it up. I am a huge nerd that is endlessly fascinated by the size and shape of sand grains and other ephemera.

If I take a full time job, especially a government job, no cheap jokes are allowed. I'm talking to you, Annie. I can fix any place and I have proved this over 20 years. OK, maybe with the exception of the house I have been looking at that cg says "This is an evil place." She's that way and she hates that house and it's completely irrational.

She's blonde, butt I have my reasons for believing that's a dye job. So that was my fun week.

Huh. Just when you think you might be funny, you turn out to be long-winded.

Please trust me, bloglits. I was that guy in New Orleans, before Katrina, and am the person that dug up the scoops of dirt and collected the water samples. Me, and somebody with my exact same name, exact same age, exact same height, exact same (skinny) weight.

I went there to go under the BellSouth building, because it was going to lose the capability to cool itself, but other Americans saw it. Every underpass in the city had a crew from GE, trying to pull out ancient pump motors and rebuild them, which was just Ohio and Michigan and Canada reacting.

I was the guy with the spoon that sampled New Orleans, as led by my new friend with the same name. Are work has proved correct. However, this may be apocryphal, but otherchrisjohnson says he was a wait captain for Emeril and he and the cooks invented the "Bam" thing. We have no decorum, we are walking into places in space suits, and he wants to make this clear, they stole it from "Living Color." Chris Johnson is an honest person, and he says the cooks and he stole 'Bam' from "In Living Color," back when he was a Wait Capatain. I trust Chris, because he has already told me "There is no way on God's Green Earth I'm going down there." Plus, he and I represented every American for the Corps of Engineers when there were no libraries.

I know, that's a bit scary. Honestly, we did OK. I'm really good at Chemistry and Math. I do actually carry pi in my head to many decimal places, but I mostly keep this a secret.

If anybody wants to see data, I have it. My personal opinion is that it is old data. New Orleans soils and water is full of old hydrocarbons, that they built their city on top of.

In my opinion, you could see that on the day that the levees turned upside down, on Tuesday. When I was a child, waterbodies were on fire; that's a worst case. No waterbody has ever been on fire since then, not because it has never happened, but because we will never admit it again.

I am that HazWaste nerd. See, The Tampa baseball team doesn't seem to undesrtand Tropicana Field. I do, and know from the 80s. Tropicana Field is a Toxic Waste Dump. When that place was built, that was the best technology our country had. I know this, because I worked for the guy that designed it. I know this. I am the person that dives into problems and I used to work for this guy. It is not possible for Saint Petersburg to abandon Tropicana Field. When I was a kid, we excavated a giant trench around the land underneath Tropicana Field. The best chemical engineer in the world, Chuck Hendry, couldn't fix it. I happen to think Chuck is pretty good. Today, we can fix it

I want to know the honest truth; you folks know Tropicana was a convenience, right?

Oh dear. I thought we'd used up all that brown acid?

oh.my.
sets out aspirin and coffee and aspirin and bacon and bacon flavored aspirin laced coffee next to the bloody mary mix.

*snork* @ crossgirl!!

I feel your pain, amiga!!

*sets out some bacon-flavored Xanax for you*

Don't ask, just take it!

"Doc - I'm afraid all we have is the outdoor champagne fountain.

(WARNING)

Double D, where can I get one? Would love to have it installed in the front yard. My neighbors will love me for "raising the standards" of the street.

Taken from CJ's dissertation rant: Miami is the Crazy Place! The pond behind Sio's house has fish so big they would sink my remote-controlled boats. This is not a normal place!

CJ, those are just our goldfish and guppies. You ain't seen the ones in the canal next door. ;-P

Oh and it's not a pond...it's a LAKE.

Morning, Tex! grab some bacon before cg eats it all.

Is there any left? Not the coffee, the acid.... although, somehow I doubt it ....

btw...Modgi also makes me think of Mowgli. Ok, done with my coffee.

I'm off to meet my college daughter and her friends. They're here for Spring Break, got here last night and I can't wait to see her!! She's with her Dad till Tuesday but Mommy can't wait.

Doesn't RRRRRRRRRRRRolando cook up a scrumptious breakfast??? He's a man of many talents. IYKWIM AITYD.

Have a great day, everyone!

*snags a few remaining bacon crumbles and snorts coffee dregs -- ah, that's much better!*

Morning to all you early risers! Yup, it's March and that's gotta mean spring break.

*zips in*™

Good morning everyone. I'm trying to recover from being left at the altar last night. But it's probably for the best. I've been married once. Didn't much care for it.

CJ, I completely read both of your epic posts. May I say that we all read Ayn Rand in college and thought it was the answer to everything - but then we grew up and had to live in the real world. :)

Any xanax bacon left?

CJ - I read until you dangled a participle, dude. That just ain't right. In retaliation, I've written a 2,000 word diatribe that I will soon post....on MY blog. Closer to St. Patrick's Day. Because you'll need a few pints to get through it.

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