CAPTION CONTEST
Drop whatever you are doing and come up with a caption for this photo:
(The photo comes from this site. Yes! The Flowbee lives!)
The person who submits the winning caption, as determined by our panel of distinguished judges, will receive a valuable prize that judi will think of once she realizes what I have done here.
Update: judi has come up with some really lame excellent prize candidates, which she will describe here when she gets around to it. We will announce the winner tomorrow, and he or she can pick the prize.
Prize Update (Winner will be forced to accept choose one of the following):
1) A geniune Fiesta Bowl "yard o' beer" (beer not included) once worn by Bob the Bear
2) Two packs of "24" JOLT gum which has not been chewed by anyone
3) A DVD of Barry Manilow's "Music and Passion" PBS special
4) A small stuffed weinermobile
"See I told you it wasn't a toupee." *SUCK*
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 04:51 PM
"You too can be a '70s porn star in just five minutes a day!"
Posted by: Hammond Rye | February 20, 2008 at 04:51 PM
Instruction Manual For Self-administered Brain Surgery
Posted by: estrogen centrale | February 20, 2008 at 04:53 PM
Kids, don't try this at home.
Posted by: Cat R. | February 20, 2008 at 04:53 PM
"Once I've gotten the egg beater fully inserted, it's ready to scramble your scalp!"
and, in small print at the bottom:
Don't try this at home -- always go to a professional!
Posted by: klezmerphan | February 20, 2008 at 04:53 PM
See you in hyperspace!
Posted by: Cat R. | February 20, 2008 at 04:54 PM
Approval from the FDA has finally been granted for the long awaited self-lobotomy device that will leave you pithed for a lifetime.
Posted by: Not My Usual Alias | February 20, 2008 at 04:54 PM
Sucks the stress right out of you.
Posted by: Cat R. | February 20, 2008 at 04:55 PM
Whenever I have too much on my mind, I use the Ronco brain extractor. It also prepares me for a job in public service!
Posted by: catman | February 20, 2008 at 04:55 PM
Hold my beer while I try this thing out.
Posted by: Not My Usual Alias | February 20, 2008 at 04:56 PM
"Hey at least my hair still looks more stylish than some people's."
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 04:58 PM
Hey. Where are you going? How long do I have to stand here like this? Anybody? Hello?
Posted by: Cat R. | February 20, 2008 at 04:58 PM
Now I'm ready to believe your campaign promises.
Posted by: Texgal | February 20, 2008 at 04:59 PM
What doesn't everyone clean their hair once in a while?
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 04:59 PM
Oooh, Elon. Not going to get on the judge's good side with that one, no sir.
Posted by: Cat R. | February 20, 2008 at 04:59 PM
Jeff Foxworthy, right before the terrible accident.
Posted by: Matt Morrison | February 20, 2008 at 05:00 PM
Oooo, Snap!
Now all I need is the "suck 'stache" attachment.
Posted by: Clay | February 20, 2008 at 05:01 PM
Just press the yellow button for your Man-on-Tap.
Posted by: Cat R. | February 20, 2008 at 05:01 PM
Look at what these celebrities had to say:
Garth Algar: "It's sucking my will to live!"
Wayne Campbell: "It certainly does suck!"
Posted by: WriterDude | February 20, 2008 at 05:02 PM
Wait until you see me trim my mustache!
Posted by: cyrldiving | February 20, 2008 at 05:03 PM
"Now that everyone is looking at my hair, no one will notice those brown stains on my shirt."
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:03 PM
"Hard on! Apply directly to the forehead."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2008 at 05:03 PM
Try our newest Flowbie for the hormonally challenged. It blows a current of air through your hair and out your nose, leaving you with a lovely mustache."
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | February 20, 2008 at 05:04 PM
Horton hears a Hoover.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2008 at 05:04 PM
"Yes I lost a bet. And my pride."
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | February 20, 2008 at 05:04 PM
What Not to Wear
Posted by: Cat R. | February 20, 2008 at 05:04 PM
"Well this sucks"
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:05 PM
"As you can tell by my face, it works on genitals too."
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | February 20, 2008 at 05:06 PM
Dad?
Posted by: Doc Rick | February 20, 2008 at 05:06 PM
"The Ronco 'Hair Integrated Lengthening and Restoration (In One Use!) System 3000' works as well on Men as it does on Women! Just set the suction to 'FULL' and work the HILARIOUS 3000 nozzle fully around the head. Please note that loss of leg hair is a natural effect, and saves on the cost of painful waxing!"
* Facial Hair attachment available at extra cost.
(I hope the prize is a Flowby!)
Posted by: Mr Michael | February 20, 2008 at 05:06 PM
Beam myself up!
Posted by: estrogen centrale | February 20, 2008 at 05:06 PM
No, my name is NOT Ted Habte-Gabr. Why do you ask?
Posted by: DeskDiva | February 20, 2008 at 05:07 PM
Will it Blend?
Posted by: Cat R. | February 20, 2008 at 05:07 PM
Spray on! Apply directly to your bald spot!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2008 at 05:08 PM
When you care enough NOT to use the hot wax.
Posted by: DeskDiva | February 20, 2008 at 05:08 PM
Rats. Have to pick up the kittens from school. Carry on, blogits!
Posted by: Cat R. | February 20, 2008 at 05:08 PM
"Removes incredibly startled lice at the same time it's cutting your hair!"
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | February 20, 2008 at 05:09 PM
"A little dab will do 'ya still with an Oreck."
Posted by: lil rascal | February 20, 2008 at 05:09 PM
To truly get rid of dandruff
The Do your Own Brain Surgery Kit!
I was told to vacuum the mothballs
Soon I can truly aspire to be a Skinhead
Glad its my head!
Check out the Cougar to my left!
I wanted to look like a Gregorian Monk
I have to what now?
Vacuum and cut your hair, psychological analysis not included.
At least I'm Not Britanny Speares
Toupee or Not Toupee, That is the question
I like to move it move it
The very next shot shows my bloody revenge
My Wife made me do this!
It's a game of Balette Jackass.
Chewbaca's After shot!
Man I'm drunk.... What Am I doing?
I don't know about you, but I think Judi is awesome!!
Just cut and Buff!
I will never have to worry about my barber slitting my throat again!
Slowly the signs of Madness become ME!
What do I care. I connect to the internet with my....
This is the best at a college dorm prank.
Posted by: Alfred | February 20, 2008 at 05:10 PM
"Now with egg beater attachment for extra volume!"
Posted by: KOW | February 20, 2008 at 05:11 PM
Alfred, ENOUGH with the Jolt Cola, Babe.
Posted by: DeskDiva | February 20, 2008 at 05:11 PM
Just Add 70s worked for Me!
Posted by: Alfred | February 20, 2008 at 05:12 PM
"Sux to be me!"
Posted by: Siouxie | February 20, 2008 at 05:13 PM
Good one, Cat R!
Posted by: CJrun | February 20, 2008 at 05:13 PM
"Ha ha, watch me do my cat next"
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:13 PM
"Endorsed by perky newsteams everywhere."
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | February 20, 2008 at 05:14 PM
So I put this on my head and I get, uh, bigger, right? And chicks dig this, right?
Posted by: subversive_knitter | February 20, 2008 at 05:14 PM
"Unsightly fish eyes, bothersome dandruff, schizophrenia...you get two with this limited TV offer if you call right now."
Posted by: lil rascal | February 20, 2008 at 05:14 PM
And there would probably be a space between "news" and "teams".
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | February 20, 2008 at 05:14 PM
La, la, la - can't hear you - Flowbee's running.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2008 at 05:14 PM
"You know the drill."
Posted by: Rex Range | February 20, 2008 at 05:14 PM
*snork* @ Cat R., for the "Man-on-Tap" !!!
Posted by: Telecomdropout | February 20, 2008 at 05:15 PM
No more, "Lather, rinse, repeat," for me!
Posted by: DeskDiva | February 20, 2008 at 05:16 PM
"HELP! The aliens are sucking my brain!"
Posted by: Siouxie | February 20, 2008 at 05:16 PM
"Ye God, that is painful."
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:16 PM
Mullet be gone!
Posted by: Ed | February 20, 2008 at 05:17 PM
"And thanks to the patented suction, you will never have to worry about dust mites in your hair again."
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:17 PM
Braaaaaaiiiinssssss....
Posted by: DeskDiva, channeling Nurse Tammy | February 20, 2008 at 05:17 PM
It's Flowbee-rrrrific!
Disclaimer: May eat parts of your brain, cause severe skull fractures and/or complete hair extermination, or turn you into Tom Cruise. Do not use in bath.
Posted by: Suzy Q | February 20, 2008 at 05:17 PM
"This Time Machine doesn't seem to be working as well as I thought..."
Posted by: Jim | February 20, 2008 at 05:18 PM
Now, give us that "come hither I have a flowbee" look! Work it!
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | February 20, 2008 at 05:18 PM
"I knew I shouldn't have picked Dare."
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:18 PM
When he suffered an injury early in his career, Randy Johnson was told by the trainer to just "suck it up".
Posted by: 9 | February 20, 2008 at 05:18 PM
The Flowbee - giving good head since the 1980s
Posted by: Keilwerth LA | February 20, 2008 at 05:18 PM
Just two more squirts and I'll be completely full of sh!t.
Posted by: CJrun | February 20, 2008 at 05:19 PM
"And once I finish vacuuming my hair, yours is next. MUH HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:19 PM
Flowbee home haircutting system: $40
Demonstration of newfangled Flowbee for daughter's elementary school class: free
Cost to daughter's emotional growth: priceless
Posted by: Gina | February 20, 2008 at 05:19 PM
My Flowbee in one hand, my towel in the other - I'm ready to GO !
Posted by: Telecomdropout | February 20, 2008 at 05:19 PM
Geraldo called - he'd like two
Posted by: Keilwerth LA | February 20, 2008 at 05:20 PM
"The Flowbee remains powerful enough to suck a mans' mustache right through the top of his head."
Posted by: Mike | February 20, 2008 at 05:20 PM
"And since the other hand is free, you can keep your beer."
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:21 PM
Flowbee...It sucks when it cuts...
Posted by: Afkat | February 20, 2008 at 05:21 PM
With my Flowbee and Aqua Velva, what more does a man need?
Posted by: Suzy Q | February 20, 2008 at 05:22 PM
The Flowbee - giving good head since the 1980s
Posted by: Keilwerth LA | 05:18 PM on February 20, 2008
Kudos, Keil! I was trying to work that in somehow.
Posted by: DeskDiva, channeling Nurse Tammy | February 20, 2008 at 05:22 PM
The Flowbee - giving good head since the 1980s
Posted by: Keilwerth LA | 05:18 PM on February 20, 2008
Kudos, Keil! I was trying to work that in somehow.
Posted by: DeskDiva | February 20, 2008 at 05:22 PM
Flowbee - suckage without spittage.
Posted by: Siouxie | February 20, 2008 at 05:23 PM
WHEEEEEEE!!!!
Posted by: DeskDiva | February 20, 2008 at 05:23 PM
"You don't want to know what is connected to the other end of the Flowbee."
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:23 PM
"Marlins mathematically eliminated in record time."
Oops, sorry. I was channelling other headlines.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2008 at 05:24 PM
Look, Ma! No brains!
Posted by: DeskDiva | February 20, 2008 at 05:24 PM
It's liposuction for fatty brain tissue."
Posted by: Wench Lizzy | February 20, 2008 at 05:24 PM
Super Big Gulp Diet Coke *snork* @ Siouxie !!
Posted by: Telecomdropout | February 20, 2008 at 05:24 PM
"Flowbee, it only sounds like Incontinence Medication, but it does so much more."
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:24 PM
HEADLINE...apply directly to the ....uh......line?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2008 at 05:24 PM
So that's what happened to Cheney.
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:26 PM
Sucks so hard, it's guaranteed to make you smile
Posted by: Keilwerth LA | February 20, 2008 at 05:26 PM
Batteries not included. Works with 240 or less electrical socket. Charger sold separately. Do not use in shower or bath or with solid blue shirt.
Posted by: Kathybear | February 20, 2008 at 05:27 PM
"Yes ladies, the canvas shoulder patch does match the thong"
Posted by: Mike | February 20, 2008 at 05:27 PM
Go, 'fro. Yo, Flowbee.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2008 at 05:28 PM
New, from the makers of Futurama - the Mini Transport Tube* for use in your own home! Go from the kitchen to the bathroom to the bedroom in record time with your very own Mini Transport Tube!
*Batteries and vortex manipulator not included.
Posted by: DeskDiva | February 20, 2008 at 05:30 PM
"Randy Johnson, All Star Pitcher & Flowbee user demonstrates how he gets ready for the big game."
Posted by: mike | February 20, 2008 at 05:30 PM
"Taking bad hair days to a whole new level."
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:30 PM
From the makers of HeadOn!
Head Vac, apply directly to the head!
Head Vac, apply directly to the head!
Head Vac, apply directly to the head!
Posted by: David | February 20, 2008 at 05:30 PM
I'm not wearing any pants
Posted by: Keilwerth LA | February 20, 2008 at 05:31 PM
"Hey, what you lookin' at?!"
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:31 PM
"Make your hair a perfect combination of Mark Spitz and Harry Reems."
Posted by: WriterDude | February 20, 2008 at 05:32 PM
"This Flowbee may not make me look rugged, but my left hand is in the mouth of an alligator."
Posted by: Mike | February 20, 2008 at 05:32 PM
(Back and snorking at everyone)
Posted by: Cat R. | February 20, 2008 at 05:33 PM
"Baby, It cuts other hair too, if you get my drift"
Posted by: Elon Weintraub | February 20, 2008 at 05:33 PM
♪♫ I'm a little teapot....♪♫
Posted by: DeskDiva | February 20, 2008 at 05:33 PM