UMMM.... BECAUSE IT ITCHES?
(Thanks to MissV)
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January 31, 2008
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
In Miami, we call this good citizenship.
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
WASN'T THIS A SHERLOCK HOLMES MYSTERY?
(Thanks to Onterrible)
GET THE FACTS!
(Thanks to Scott Sonnier)
IT'S A PROBLEM THAT AFFECTS US ALL
(Thanks to Joshua Evans)
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
(Thanks to Steve Williams, not to be confused with any of the 386 other Steves)
AND THE SO-CALLED "FEDERAL GOVERNMENT" DOES NOTHING
For '24' fans, the strike's hours drag on
(Thanks to Dock Rick, who notes that, incredibly, this blog is not mentioned)
RELIGIOUS ISSUE OF THE DAY SO FAR
Naked Man Ad Riles Hub Catholics
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko, who says, "If nuns looked like this, I would have gone to parochial school.")
YUM
(Thanks to Steve Lancaster)
THIS GUY IS DEAD
(Thanks to Doc Rick)
TODAY'S JAPANESE WEIRDNESS QUIRKINESS UPDATE
Man called directory assistance 10,000 times
Key Quote: "I would go into ecstasy when a lady scolded me."
(Also thanks to DavCat)
SAN CARLOS, FLORIDA
Keeping the World Safe from Recyclers
(Thanks to DavCat)
ANOTHER GOOD THING ABOUT GUYS
(Thanks to DavCat and Siouxie)
ATTENTION ALL MAINE UNITS
(Thanks to DavCat)
HOW DID HE GET PAST THE TASER?
(Thanks to Siouxie)
EXCELLENT NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff)
CSI: MIAMI
Three armed bandits stole 11 potentially prize-winning pit bulls after tying up their owner and his friends during a midday robbery in West Park on Wednesday.
This led neighbors to ask one question: They only took 11?
There had to be more, they thought.
Twenty, 30, maybe 101.
And a snake.
January 30, 2008
SCIENCE BREAKTHROUGH OF THE DAY
Key quote: "This is a major milestone in the new field of gecko-inspired adhesives."
(Thanks to Chris Lawson)
BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T SPEND ENOUGH TIME ON THEM NOW
(Thanks to ShadoKatmandu)
MISSING THE POINT 101
Brought to you by Carlsberg Brewing Company
(Thanks to Mike Campbell)
CAMPAIGN STRUMPDATE FROM THE S.B.
We interrupt this blog to remind all voters to visit the campaign store for your Dave Barry for President clocks¹ and other fine campaign products. And of course, surging presidential juggernaut bumper stickers are cluttering up the office also available, so place your order before we throw them out any time.
¹As featured in the Official Campaign Video
HAMILTON CITY, CALIF.
Keeping the World Safe from Minor Bicycle-Safety Infractions
(Thanks to Siouxie and Doc Rick)
YOU ARE NOW FREE TO WET YOUR PANTS
The co-pilot on a trans-Atlantic flight screams for God.
(Thanks to Expat_Canuck)
DUUUUDE
(Thanks to Linda)
SPEAKING OF GOOD EATING, NOT TO MENTION GOOD NAMES FOR ROCK BANDS
(Thanks to ubetcha)
YUM
Customs officials seize hundreds of headless rats destined for London restaurants
Keu Quote: The grisly discovery was made by customs officials as they made a routine inspection of a shipment of synthetic hair at the docks.
(Thanks to Justin Barber)
WE WANT TO DO THIS EVERY TIME WE HEAR COPACABANA
CREEPING FASCISM IN SWEETWATER, TENN.
Now they're saying a woman can't carry a crowbar in her pants.
("Crowbar in Her Pants" would be an excellent name for a rock band,)
(Thanks to Siouxie)
ATTENTION, LADIES
(Thanks to Siouxie and we think somebody else but we can't figure out who)
(OK, we found it: Matt Filar)
MOST-ACCURATE BICYCLE BRAND NAME OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to diverdowndoc)
A FLORIDA DRIVER'S -- AND PILOT'S -- LICENSE WILL BE AWARDED
...to this motorist.
(Thanks to Heather and Siouxie)
January 29, 2008
ATTENTION, THE BLOG, SIR
HEY, IT'S OK WITH US IF IT GETS RARER
Rare 3-Foot Spitting Earthworm Found in Legal Battle
(Thanks to jon harris, who notes that The Spitting Earthworms would be a good name for a rock band)
JAPANESE EDUCATOR OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Keli Minick)
GEE, YOU THINK?
Holocaust-themed Carnival float causes strain
Key Quote: "Really, it makes no sense addressing this theme with drums and dancing girls."
(Thanks to Jeff Matthews)
CONCERNED CITIZEN OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Padraig and MissV and Jim Gilboy)
ANOTHER BLOW STRUCK AGAINST BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS
Fears for safety prompt famous temple to halt bean-chucking ceremony
(Thanks to Greg Snow)
WOMEN OF AMPLITUDE, REJOICE
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
MOO
(Thanks to Keli Minick)
YUM
(Via Gizmodo)
ADVISORY
Assuming throngs of crazed admiring drunks supporters don't hoist The Blog upon their shoulders and tote him off to South Beach for a Voting Day Mojito, Dave will be chatting¹ with voters here at 1 p.m. today.
¹In the same way that televised debates may be considered chatting
HOSPITAL ENTREE OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Remember the mouse head? Well this one is worse.
Key Quote: "The doctor insisted it was not chicken."
(Thanks to sjhaller)
THE POWER OF THE BLOG
I was wondering why I had a considerable spike in visitors to my website this weekend...now I know.
Just wondering, how did you come across our site and the now infamous "Butt Glue?"
Kim from The Queen's Choice - Morgantown WV
Dear Kim --Some guy named Matt Filar sent us the link. We have an enormous research staff.
Sincerely,
The Blog
CREEPING FASCISM
Now they want to take away a man's fundamental human right to collect damages from his university because he was injured while horsing around in a kiddie pool filled with gelatin.
(Thanks to Josh)
DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAG UNDER PENALTY OF LAW
(Thanks to Greg Snow)
A FLORIDA DRIVER LICENSE
...is on it way to this lawn-care specialist.
(Thanks to many people)
AH, THE SKEPTICISM OF THE "REALITY-TV" GENERATION
(Thanks to Siouxie and DavCat)