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January 31, 2008


Fan Death

(Thanks to Scott Sonnier)


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Whew, Dave. For a second there, I thought maybe you had a new method for dealing with too many requests that you resume your weekly column.

Maybe all those absurd product warnings ("Do not iron this shirt while wearing", "Do not use this chainsaw while sleeping", "Do not bathe with this toaster", etc.) are there at the insistence of South Koreans.

*adds breezy comment*

*can't wait till the sh!t hits it*

Everyone knows that those deaths are caused by the Bogey Fan!

The fan could overheat and start a fire and fan the flames of said fire, but not that I think of those things.

Being that I have obsessive compulsive disorder, I now have a good excuse for making sure the fan is turned off. Over and over and over and over... again.

Fans of the Arizona Cardinals, Cincinnati Bengals and Florida [formerly Devil] Rays wish they were dead. But I'm not sure about the actual theory. Perhaps some network "hard news" blinking-eye journalist can interview an "expert" and we shall all reach enlightenment.

Interestingly Ukranians worry that having windows OPEN could kill you. They take steps to avoid creating cross-breezes (e.g. windows in opposite sides of the apartment open at the same time) They quite literaly fear drafts.

Good Lord (pardon the pun)! I complained about the word "devil" in their name when they were "created!" They JUST NOW came around? Were they afraid that the devil made them lose over and over and over... and...?

Call me sadistic, but I think it would be a lot of fun to trick a Korean into going into a room that has a single fan turned on, then seal up all the doors and windows to that room before they have a chance to realize what's going on.

But that's when I would probably realize that not all Koreans believe in the old "Fan can kill you if all the doors and windows are closed" trick.

monsoon, there is no j q y or z in your comment.



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