CAMPAIGN STRUMPDATE FROM THE S.B.

We interrupt this blog to remind all voters to visit the campaign store for your Dave Barry for President clocks¹ and other fine campaign products. And of course, surging presidential juggernaut bumper stickers are cluttering up the office also available, so place your order before we throw them out any time.

¹As featured in the Official Campaign Video

Comments

[DeskDiva]

I gotta get me one o' them keepsake boxes for my nightstand! (The restraining order doesn't mention my nightstand, does it?)

[Layzeeboy]

FIRST to say my order is in.

[Siouxie]

judi, I'm getting a bib. For when I'm old like Dave and can't stop the drool.

[Layzeeboy]

BTW, judi, I have the DB desk calendar and I thought it was "official" because I bought it in Florida. But, it was published in Kansas City. Has Dave moved???

[Lizardbreath]

I can't believe you haven't put those designs on the underwear selections they have a cafepress as well.

[crossgirl]

yeah, i was holding out for the dbfpyotus thong.

pssst, siouxie, did i leave my bumper sticker at your house or did cj make off with it?

[DeskDiva]

Layzee, is it published by Andrews McMeel or Universal Press Syndicate? They're based out of KC, but it's still authentic Dave Booty!

Er, not Dave's Booty. Oh, you know what I mean!

[Siouxie]

cg, I would hate to speak ill of a dear friend, butt...

HE TOOK IT!!

(actually, I don't know - I thought I had one for each of you) Make him buy you one!

[ellie]

Ooo, ooo, ooo, I want the orgasmic t-shirt!! Oh, wait, it says organic, not orgasmic. Is it too late to cancel my order?

[Siouxie]

Hey! I got an idea! Let's all get the DBFP-Y,OTUS pillow and have a blog pillow fight!

*grabs pillow and smacks ellie upside the head*

[lilrascal]

Where was Dave in the 70's?

[Adult delinquent]

I have to admit I was pretty much undecided on who to vote for until now.

Dude has a clock! I mean, come on....

Until the others can show they have clocks, I'm voting for Dave!

[judi]

okay, i added the thong and the boxers and a few more things....

[Siouxie]

YAY, judi!!

Does it come in Cuban @ss??

[ellie]

*oof* Hey! *grabs pillow*

*pillow splits and sends feathers flying round the blog*

*cough, cough*

Sorry...

[lilrascal]

Add Edwards.

[Peter M.]

In the Dem horse race
Now there are two
The others are off
To be made into glue.

[Siouxie]

Now, this should clinch his nomination. NO other candidate has a thong.

[ellie]

Cuban @ss

SNORK@Siouxie

Does it come with Mark Cuban's ass???

[Siouxie]

Panty-minimalists love our casual thong that covers sweet spots without covering your assets; putting an end to panty-lines. This under-goodie is "outta sight" in low-rise pants. Toss these message panties onstage at your favorite rock star or share a surprise message with someone special ... later.

*will get one just to throw it back at the next RBR's concert*

[Mad Scientist Weasel]

Judi- Now I am torn. As a good Wife I should get Weasel the boxers, but I'm not sure I can be a good wife with Dave that close to the naughty bits.

[Punkin]

Where's the DBFB - Y,OTUS bra??? I need bi-partisan support!!

[Siouxie]

*snork* @ the boxers description!

Enjoy the roomy comfort of our sexy boxers as underwear or sleepwear. They’re 100% cotton, open fly…for thinking outside the boxers. Boxers, because you don’t want to be brief.

who writes this stuff????

[crossgirl]

uh oh. i was joking about the thong, i suppose now i'm obligated to buy....cj's gonna look so silly.

[crossgirl]

! errrr, hot, i meant HOT!

[AmerInParis]

What? No bras or knickers?

[wiredog]

So can I get Siouxie this? Or is there a restraining order?

[Doc Rick]

I've got to get the yard sign. My next door neighbors are HUGE Ron Paul supporters. Since we just moved in, it's the easiest way to give people directions to our new place. Just have them look for the place with all of the Ron Paul for President signs and we're right next door.

[lilrascal]

My next door neighbor is a drunken Iranian woman who keeps ringing my door bell and then trys to push her way into my home. She shows up randomly at my neighbors home and pulls a guitar from the wall and plays it sitting at the kitchen table...uninvited! And excruciatingly badly 8)

[DeskDiva]

*snork* @ Punkin's "bi-partisan support"

[lilrascal]

When she is out in the yard drunk, which is often, she yells to me..."you are the greatest guitar player in werld..ef you!"

[Doc Rick]

Dang lil! Having rabid Ron Paul supporters next door is a lot better than having a drunken Iranian woman. Unless of course she's hot in which case I wouldn't mind so much. hehe

[lilrascal]

I'm friends with an Iranian man down the street. We play guitar together on occasion. The Iranian woman hears us, shows up randomly at our doors drunk the day, pushes her way in, grabs a guitar off the wall, sits at the kitchen table and proclaims..."I am songwriter!" She has a meathook of hand and beats on the guitar making odd noises, nothing resembling the guitar. It's becoming a problem. She hides in the bushes a lot.

[lilrascal]

She smells like the bottom of a soured vodka bottle and a carton of cigarettes. She has pushed her way into two of my neighbors homes and mine. I slammed the door on her hand one day and she said..."ouch!" I said, "hurts don't it!" She proceeded to hide in the bushes, run to the neighbor's outdoor light and flick the swith off and on creating a lightning efect.

[Siouxie]

wiredog, I'll take off the restraining order till after they deliver my thong. Thanks!

[judi]

don't worry about buying anything; it doesn't make any difference to us what items anyone buys. i just hadn't done the thong because it seemed weird... but Dave says he doesn't care what I put up.

[lilrascal]

My other next door neighbor picked her up and caried her out of his house to the astonishment of his wife and three young kids. he is afraid to let his kids play outdoors. She drives! The lady showed up at the door on day, tried to push her way past my son and said, "I am leaving for middleeast!" I said, "Good...I don't like you!" Shae said, "why you not like me!" I told my neighbor about it, He should be aware she at it again (she had rang his doorbell before mine I learned later). My neighbor said, "good...I'll contribute to buying her ticket!"

[insomniac]

if you're wearing Barry's boxers
your Presidential choice is made
and you show more class 'behinder'
than candidates with nose of brown
they'll find out ,
when they are lying face-to-face
that they're leaving, that they're leaving, Barry's boxers still remain...

[Cat R.]

Poor lilrascal. Looks like you need this website.

[Telecomdropout]

Wow, lilrascal- that's a serious problem - especially with kids around and her DRIVING. (!!) Does she live alone ?
And do you live in Glendale, Cali ?

[lilrascal]

Yeah, it's no joking matter...her driving. She drives horribly! I discussed this with my neighbor and we agree, she is going to have a serious accident with the car and hurt someone for sure. I have told my two neighbors not to be fooled by her, she is VIOLENT! I don't care she is drunk as a sheet in the wind, she is aggressive. We have all called the police on her trying to catch her driving the car up the street. This woman is a mental case. besides being a terrible practicing alcoholic. I consider her dangerous. I live in Anaheim Hills.

[lilrascal]

a/>

[lilrascal]

awareness

I am a big proponent of crime awareness and crime prevention and the punishment of criminals. If a serious crime has ever been committed against you or your family, you understand where I am coming from. Our country's lower criminal court system is a joke.

[Drunk Iranian Woman]

I am NOT crazy! Now give me guitar.

[Doc Rick]

Holy Crap! Turns out Mr. Ron Paul supporter guy is a registered sex offender for exposing himself to a child. Thanks for the heads up on the website Lil! Turns out there are several of the pervs living nearby and I live in a relatively small town.

[EB]

Lilrascal, about all you can hope for, for Mental Health Treatment in CA, is to find her a nice brigde to live under. Criteria for committment in CA is: can she distinguish rotten from fresh food in the Dumpster?

Would Dave take a TRADE of a Cymbalta clock, for one of his clocks? If that's not considered a fair trade, I have a colleague with about 40 Geodon clocks under his desk. They bug my knees everytime I have to sit at his desk. None of them will cause him to gain weight, but they might leave him feeling a bit stiff and restless!!The Cymbalta clock would take care of that nasty Side Effect...You could even keep the colleague,too, but don't give that man one of yer Miami guns....

Evil B.

[lilrascal]

You can not help someone who refuses to help themself. I feel as sorry for the unfortunate street people in my area as you might. I don't like the idea they burgalarize my property and cost me $2K to replace the copper they steal from my property. It costs me 40K to make my property secure from street people. That includes Anything of mine that's not covered by my seven security cameras and that's not behind the recently placed razor wire.

I have all the compassion in the world for the unfortunate as long as they are not lifelong, habitual thieves and liars.

[lilrascal]

Doc Rick...square business? That is scary.

[Siouxie]

lil, what?? no mine field?? moat?? Dick Cheney?? ;-P

[Siouxie]

*goes up to lilrascal's camera & flashes!

[Doc Rick]

Not kidding one bit Lil. Four of the bastards live within a mile, but having one next door is just flat scary.

[Doc Rick]

Siouxie....AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! What did I ever do to you to deserve old women flashing me? Somebody get me the bleach stat!

[Doc Rick]

And let it be noted I was only referring to the old women, not the young lady in the middle.

[crossgirl]

my area is peppered with 'em too.

[lilrascal]

Many Americans live under the false assumption they, their families and their property are protected by local law enforcemt and the law. You would be surprised how vulnurable you are. Doc Rick...incredible isn't it.

[lilrascal]

You would not belive the things I have seen on my 'hidden' cameras. Neither do the Crime scene processing people or detectives. Good neighbor.

[Siouxie]

Yeah, I gotta some pervs around my area. Not too many and not too close. I actually have a site similar to this one in my "Bookmarks" so I keep checking. There a are a few schools around there as well.

heh... sorry, Rick.

[Annie Where-but-here]

*snork* @ Siouxie - nice rampartial set-up!

[lilrascal]

Reminds me of when I was living on the street and stumbled into a tata bar one afyternoon looking for garbage.

[lilrascal]

Where's Dave when alls this happens? Tahiti.

[Doc Rick]

Very. Never would have guessed it. Now a couple of doors down either direction and it wouldn't have surprised me as much. Having a white, middle-aged dedicated political supporter turn up as an offender was just weird. Oh wait, the politicians themselves are pervs too. Never mind.

[Siouxie]

cg, you should feel safe with CJ close by.

[Doc Rick]

Agreed Annie. I was thinking I was going to see some awesome Cuban cleavage and then......

Just not fair Siouxie. Not fair at all. :(

hehe

[Lizardbreath]

I bet if you buy Dave's clock and put it on your wall at work it can make an eight hour shift seem like only seven hours and sixty minutes.

[lilrascal]

Hidden camera shots! One guy in my area is either the most hung homeless guy this side of the missyeipe or he has a baseball bat in his pants. But I think he used his gun to shoot the drug dealer neighbor's garage door full of holes.

[Doc Rick]

Ok, lesson learned. No more clicking on Siouxie's links. Although it wouldn't shock me if that was CJ.

*kidding CJ...just kidding*

[lilrascal]

I'm a space cowboy...I bet you weren't ready for that...I'ma space cowboy, I'm sure you know where I'm at.

[Siouxie]

Rick, I'll try warning you next time ;-P

Get rid of the beard and that could be CJ's shorter evil twin.

[lilrascal]

Dave...Summer of '73. Led Zepplin tour. Remember?

[lilrascal]

Where was Dave in the 70's? Besides being a street fightin man.

[OkieDokie]

Siouxie! Are you trying to kill us?????

[lilrascal]

I'll be here, where will dave be

looks like Dave in his green suit, but plays much better

[Siouxie]

*hangs head down in shame*

So sorry, Okie. Annie made me do it.

FREE EYE BLEACH FOR ALL

[lilrascal]

my '73

[Annie Where-but-here]

Yes I did. And I'm proud I did. Dammit.
Sorry, Repooplican debate in town today. Poli-talk is contagious. They're all hangarin' out on Air Force One.

Siouxie - did you notice your fisherman's nail polish matched his outfit perfectly?

[Siouxie]

It's probably the moss or gangrene, Annie.

yucko!

[Annie Where-but-here]

I really didn't notice. Just wanted everyone to take another good look at that manly fisher-stud.

[DeskDiva]

Rick - I'm so very sorry about that - especially considering the minime. :( I'll keep that in my prayers. With any luck, one day soon HE'LL move.

[NotSoShyJan]

I got a lawn sign. Because I'm voting NO on A and B, and my next door neighbor has a YES on A and B sign.

neener.

[Annie Where-but-here]

So, Doc - Ron Paul or Ru Paul?

[Eleanor]

There is a Dave Barry Bra, Punkin. Your size?

[Suzy Q]

My check is in the mail, Dave. And I'll respect you in the morning.

[Tudor]

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