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December 28, 2007


Today we have what they call "excellent skiing conditions," by which they mean it is 350 degrees below zero. People are huddling inside their refrigerators for warmth. So we are of course going skiing. The good news is that we are wearing so much protective clothing that if we hit a tree we will simply bounce off.
See you later, I hope.


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Watch out for the airplanes.

If you can see, then you aren't wearing enough layers on your face.

You be careful now.

Dave, make sure you pee before layering.

Don't ya just love it when South Floridians venture antwhere north of Jacksonville? Don't forget put an extra hat in your pants, that wind can freeze your dangly bits in about 30 seconds.

Remember: You don't have to out-ski the bear. You just have to out-ski the people with you.

Does Colorado permit fridge skiing? You might end up warmer in the long run.

I can see where the activity might void the manufacturer's warranty, but you might be able to create a new Olympic (tm thingie) sport.

Is your protective clothing blue?

*zips in*™

Good luck, Dave! And try to have fun too. :)

Q: How can you tell the Floridians on the slopes?

A: They have an extra hat in their pants.

Sounds like y'all are having a time!

Just don't fall over, with all those layers you'll never get upright without the help of a construction crane.

"[Dave] lay there like a slug... it was his only defense."

Earlier post made me think of my favorite line from one of my favorite movies...

Watch out for yellow-eyed bullies!

random, at that temperature there are no bits left dangling. they have all crawled to a much warmer region.

Ah yes the dreaded Arctic Madness
1 full very full bladder (from the beer?)
4 inches of clothes
2 inches of dangly bits

Two words:

Relief tube

Little Girl on skis: "Mommy, isn't that one of the authors of the Peter Pan books you bought me for Christmas?"

Mommy on skis: "I think so. I didn't know he was that good a skier, though. Look how fast he's moving!"

Dave on skis: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Not to worry, Dave. It's all downhill from here.

Some people ski. Some stay in the lodge drinking hot drinks.

Daisymae, I vote for option 2.

Oh, and don't forget the bonus part of option 2...laughing at the people who come in minor need of medical attention. *snicker*

Could this be Dave?

Dave! WAIT!! They said turn LEFT off the lift!

Sonny Bono was pining for Cher when he bounced off his tree.

Just don't open a branch office, Dave!

I gave up on skiing when I found out how fast the lift chairs go. You know they don't stop for you to climb on. You hop on with your skis on, then you hop off when you get to the top. I had nightmares of getting on and never being able to get off, riding the ski lift endlessly for the rest of my life.

Re: protective clothing. By the time I got on all of the said protective clothing, I would need to take it off to go to the bathroom. Reason #2 to opt for the ski lodge.

(Warning: Geezer Alert)

The Chad Mitchell Trio offered advice on this question when they sang Super Skier ... as sum of y'all have suggested ... stay off the slopes and in the lodge ...

(Dunno if that link will work ... scroll down to the "listen" area, and click on your player style ...)

remember sonny bono......REMEMBER SONNY BONO!!!

and, which of the Kennedy's slammed into a tree...Michael something?

Y'all are a bunch of wimps. The idea is that ski all day with attractive members of the opposite sex, then come in at night to party in the hot tub with plenty of liquid libations to ease your muscles. Lots of fun!

Dave is incredibally funny when the temperature dictates squirrells set their nuts ablaze to keep warm.

Artic, problem seems to be that all the member of the opposite sex opt for the lodge. Or at least, that is the trend on the blog. Real Life might be different.

I thought Jackie Oasis married George Kennedy? Maybe that was Brian Dennyhee.

I have a better plan, AA. How about you gentlemen ski all day. We ladies can shop all day. After that, we will all need a good soak in the hot tub to ease our muscles. Everybody is happy. ;-)

The Blog, when he gets back to the lodge and has a warm toddy or two.

And while were on the subject of Dave and his connection to james Brown and skiing with the Kennedy's, if you play the Kennedy family album backwards, you can here Marilyn Monroe saying, "Yoko...whodat?"

It's 80 degrees here in Pinellas County Dave, but I'm sure the freezing weather there is very, um, refreshing.

snif, cover your plants before next Thursday.

If he should have a mishap with a large pile of gravity, this may be the Blog after he gets back to the lodge and has a toddy or two.

OMG, CJ. That is amazing!

Too bad about Sonny Bono. And how ironic that daughter Chastity met her fate in a nearly identical fashion. She snapped her neck diving face-first into a bush.

That's so fake, cj. Obviously the guy is wearing pants with one leg made of transparent fabric.

True. Who's to say the Blog would be wearing pants.

Reminds me of that famous Sonny and Cher duet..

"Hey.... I can't ski, babe....I can't ski, babe"

"Hey....I got yew, babe."

Take a bough.

*One-handed applause for CJ*

In your and Ridley's books about Peter Pan you have changed the Indian tribe (that was in the Disney version and, I suppose, in the Older Barry's written version) to natives called Mollusks. And you have changed the Princess from some Amerindian name to "Shining Pearl". Doesn't this render the Disney version 'wrong'? How will they handle this?
I NEED TO KNOW! So do millions of readers even if they don't know it yet!!!

CJ-- that was cool. A guy who can dance. So instead of two left feet, he has none!

After a few more toddys, everybody climbs out of the hot tub!

[This was fun for me, because when I was @ 20 (1980), I was on crutches for a year and a half, and yes, I danced]

Sorry, Dave. You'll not get any sympathy from me. it was all of 4 degrees here when I went to work this morning. and I worked outside. I'm still here.

btw, the pee before layering above is excellent advice.

There was a billboard for the Hollywood Bowl, near my apartment in Canoga Park, that said "It's why we put up with the 60 degree winters."

Fortunately, the wool socks I got for Christmas from hubby are keeping my toes warm enough that I'm not pining for CA.

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