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November 25, 2007


It has reached Greenlawn, NY.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)


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A protest march B4 lunch?

"Can't catch me!!!!!"

I don't blame them for leaving before 'dinner.' They might've been the main course.

"Bird Brain" my eye; if they'd pull that stunt a day or two sooner, they'd be leftovers.

The wild turkeys raided my peach tree this summer. Next summer, I'm setting up a perimeter of cranberry sauce.

With Diva and Wyo on the Blog, I'm staying neutral on the second game.

*sets out turkey sammich makin's*

She can't eat something she's met... Nope, npot going there....

"...in a straight line between her house and her neighbor's, and she went back inside to prepare a store-bought turkey dinner."
Probably family members coming by to pay their last respects.

March of the Turkeys, new movie pitch?

Med, I think you've got it. The protest march was led by Martin Luther Wing, Jr.

*Snork* @ igloo!

This once again raises the age-old question, "why did the turkey(s) cross the road?"

It's obvious, Ducky. To get noticed on the Dave Barry Blog.
Next week-Letterman.

Right, Igloo. They'll perform during the "Stupid Turkey Tricks" segment.

D@mmit! They said there'd be straw here! Well, let's keep movin'.

YOU!! Back in line!

They weren't about being gobblered up. It was a suburban hamlet. Obviously not kosher. Unless, maybe, it's a Jones Soda Company town.

Suburban hamlet? Just wait to see who shows up for Christmas.


Do these people have any idea how much work it would be to turn a wild turkey into a meal? (Neither do I, but it must be a lot. So we'll stick with store-bought turkeys, thanks.)

If I'm not mistakin, I made a meal out of Wild Turkey onect. Straight up. No mixer. No water. Just Ice.

If that happened in Montana you would've heard 15 gunshots. Well, maybe less. They were in a straight line and sometimes you can get two with one shot. And then the sounds of pluckin'.
PLUCKIN', people. I said pluckin'.


Just for fun, here's a little something to get into the holiday spirit!


blurk, that's plucked up.

That's why we eat beef. even on Thanksgiving. Can't trust a trukey.

With Diva and Wyo on the Blog, I'm staying neutral on the second game.

CJ, I never thought you a coward.

and med, I'd tell you I was sorry 'bout the chiefs, but that'd be a big fargin' lie.

All of KC is sorry about the chiefs, wyo. There's enough "sorry" here. just. sayin'.

Can people see my blogposts? The last couple of days I've been posting comments and fun links, but had no one react.

*waves hands*

Can anyone see me? Or is it just that I'm boring (which is entirely possible)

Quite a game!

*studiously avoids rooting*

*waves* at davcat.

Sorry, davcat. We're all bloated and on a tryptofan hangover.

we see you, DavCat. an' you're not boring. with out your submissions, where would this blog be? no, really!


The true sign of the apcalypse will be the Royals winning the World Series followed by the Chiefs winning the SuperBowl.

DavCat - love that post, and it sent me on a search for more.

Needless to say, I'll not be decorating quite as elaborately.


DavCat, you're alive!

Arkansas/LSU: 3 over times
UK/Tennessee: 4 OTs
Chicago/Denver, here we go again!

Did you see that pass Chicago caught with 24 seconds left in the 4th qtr? I see CJ already announced the OT.

I'm thinking that 60 Minutes will be on at midnight at this rate.

There goes Chicago again.

Med...does your OT mean Off Topic or Over Time?

I'm confused. Again.


daisymae... yes, dear.

When does the bartender get here?

The Bears by a Field Goal.

That catch by Berrain meant more than BOTH Hester run-backs. Wow....

*must stop pointy ball, Now!*

Thanks, Med. I'll have a champagne. Sparkling wine will do. Go Bears!

Thank God I'm leavin' before Diva shows up. I don't think I could stand it right now.

night all.

Unbelievable. The BearHesterpocalypse is here.

'Night, Wyo! Sorry 'bout the Broncs. That was an absolutely amazing comeback for da Bears, though.

Sooo, now who's a coward, huh Wyo? Oh well, your guys are still in it.

Wow, wasn't that Chicago game a good one?

Wyo, I'd tell you I was sorry about Denver losing, but...



DavCat- Brilliant!! Can't wait for the doclings to get up for me to show them that.

Wyo- nighty night!

*yawn* I'm heading to bed too. We were up early to see Beowulf in 3D (gory, but amazing animation) and get some shopping done. Now, I'm done- only internet shopping for me from now on.

Anybody else gonna be at Dave's Disney book signing?

Dave wrote a book about Disney? That Dave is indefatigable.

Alas, I am in Virginia and nowhere near any book signing. Amazing light show on that YouTube video, but I'll stick with my two little pathetic signs by my stoop.

I can hardly wait to see "The March of the Turkeys", narrated by Dave Barry, out on DVD this Xmas.

Night, all!

Wes, how'd you sneak Adrian Peterson away from the Vikings? ;-)

*snork* at Igloo (sorry for calling your 'icehouse'- it was the Fat Bastard talking)

I'll try again-

is anyone else going to the Dave book signing at Disney?

Please note that the above extraneous 'r' is silent.

Yeah, CJ, Kolby Smith looked pretty good out there...especially since half of his yardage came despite KC's weak O-line, not because of it.

He did better today than either Larry Johnson or Priest Holmes have done all season. Personally, I think LJ owes the Chiefs a refund...

And with a little seasoning Brodie Croyle will be a good QB, if they can keep him from getting killed first.

That's about all the good I could find in that game, anyway. And - for the love of God, Herm Edwards! - how the heck do you manage to lose two timeouts on a single play?! That's got to be a first...

ddd, the Eagles are up by 4, so folks are rapt/somnolent. MouseTown is a bit of an 'avoid' for locals, unless we want that experience of driving in Miami without the thongs and giant plastic chickens. Still, we may get out there and I'm sure there will be others.


Now the Chinese spammers are masquerading as Judy!

Oh, boy, was that a bad move. Much like that guy that kept pestering Chloe and her taser in "24" Season Five...

Apparently, JUDY (if that is hisher real name) wants to be LAST!

Judi- I think you are turning Japanese!! I really think so!

Good night!!


Last week, as I was attending the elementary thanksgiving luncheon, I was paged by the middle school. Seems that the bullies have "upped the ante" by taking video of their harassing my son about d!ldo's and Lezbo action. THEN they posted it to Utube, with over 2000 hits since September 21.

My son, in jail tonight for hitting his little sister, is now journaling for an attorney.

My words to the principal and counselor, "un F###ing believable." They are so arrogant and unimpressed that there will be consequences, that it is posted online for all the world to see.

The pain in my son's eyes when we watched the video (thanks to ctprof for "capturing the moment") is beyond a mother's words. No wonder kids buy guns. They go to the "authority figures" as they are instructed to, and there is no justice or ramification. The bullied are literally and figuratively forced into a corner, where even a bunny rabbit can become dangerous.

And the only and last resort, is litigation, which I abhor. Sorry, El. Seriously. The schools are failing. This brilliant child, MINE, is nothing but a punching bag to a bunch of juveniles.

And I have to watch as he journals the endless torrent of abuse, and cries as he relives the pain and humiliation.... again.

And for no good reason. I'm sorry, but when there was capital punishment in the schools, sh!t didn't get this far outta control. Even if YOUR parents didn't care enough to control you - the principal did and had the guns to back it up.


Crafty people these ________'s! How in the dickens did they bypass the captcha program.

Dave, now you really have to fire judi. She clearly has been infested with an alien spam parasite. Oh wait. "JUDY". Right, my bad.

"I can't eat something that I've met," she said. ______________________________________ (insert joke here)

Med, sorry for your troubles. May they be spammed. I have no use for 'educators' or what they have allowed our schools to become, especially in the big towns.

I suggest you access a podcast from Dennis Miller; I believe the final hour from 11/21/07. He made some interesting observations in response to a young caller.

Meanwhile, litigation is no answer...especially considering the state of the courts; if you're bringing it, get out of it and consider alternatives that may be more fruitful. Litigation ain't gonna help The Boy.

Med - maybe you've already tried this, but you can petition to Youtube to get the video booted the he!! off there, and the posters banned.

See their "Community Guidelines" (under "Don't Cross The Line") and section 7 of their "Terms of Use".

So sorry Med. I was going to advise what Meanie posted for that part of the issues.

Ouch. I would go with Meanie.Med, I realize that at this point it will not be much comfort to you or your son, but you should be able to convince youtube to take that video down. It certainly sound like it should fall under "Gratuitous Violence."

Of course the school really should take responsibility for such things. and it really should take a lawyer to force them to get their act together. But alas, it probably will.

Meanwhile, Miami fans, I'm watching A.J. Feely and Wes Welker. You don't need the first pick in the draft if you let people like that get away!

Oh, Med. How disgusting!!!! You and your boy are in my prayers, and so are these horrible little hoodlums. I really hope they gets what's coming to them.

((((((((((((Med's boy))))))))))))

PS - About my Bears....


CJ-I'm as suprised as anyone that my Iggles are giving the Pats a game. Biggest betting underdog in pro history-24.5 points. Bigger spread than the expansion Buccaneers against the champion (home)Steelers in '76. Yet another reason I don't gamble.

CJ - I completely agree that litigation is not a reliable resource, but after "working with" the principal, the counselor, the district transportation director, and the bus company (sub contracted) for 3 years, I have not even been able to convince them to reassign the bus driver, that he is unable to drive AND control his passengers. And unfortunately, attorneys do have the ability to make folks uncomfortable enough to take action.

Meanie - the Principal watched the perpetrator "remove" the video at school. Unfortunately, he only removed it under the main screen name, not both. and that really doesn't "undo" the damage. The school wouldn't tell me 'who, what, when, where' of the punishment, but the two boys involved were both in class. Hence, they were not suspended as they should have been. imho.

I cannot even begin...... and have avoided thinking about it since tuesday, for obvious reasons.

Suspended FOR STARTERS. Sometimes I think this stuff should be considered a criminal offense.

It sounds positively lousy Med. There is no way to "undo" the damage after something like that. The best you can do is ensure it never happens again, to your son or to anyone else, and I'm sorry that the school won't take the measure to do that.

Med, it won't do any good, especially for The Boy. You want to get the attention of the bus driver and the principal? Run for the School Board.

Beyond that? The Boy will find out that school is just the first round and there are many rounds to come. Neither the bus driver, nor the principal could survive the later rounds, so people like that will hide in bureaucracies. If the District (or insurer) lose money over this, it won't likely impact either employee and only impact the taxpayers that have to pay for their uselessness.

Edgar, my son just started "throwing up....." uh-huh, yeah, right. school is merely hours away....

It's bad when you are willing to fake sickness to avoid the situation.

For those of you who did watch today's Chiefs game - that was my friend Richard who sang the national anthem. He's spectacular. :)

Med - I feel for him. Life for me on the bus was hell all through junior high. A few hours of therapy now will do him wonders and give him some tools to cope - also an outlet for his feelings.

CJ... how horribly true and right you are.

Sorry to be debbie downer. I have blogged about his saga before, but it has never gone to this extreme.

And again, the litigious threat is merely a ploy to stoke the fires of change. I have already determined that he will not be attending that school district come HS... which is 6 months away. Their loss. How many geniuses/national merit/bullshit kudos students and opportunities do they have? -1. He only tested out at 99.6% on the Weschler IQ test. Missed .4% - slacker! Game on.

Med - my kids went through similar stuff...without the enhancement of Utube, thank gawd. I know how hard it is for you and them.

(((Med))) (((Med's son)))

"It's bad when you are willing to fake sickness to avoid the situation."

Yeah, I know the feeling. I went through some agonizing times myself. Not with bullies. For some reason, I escaped them unscathed, thank God. But with teachers, administrators, principles and so on.

But playing sick never really helps with these kinds of problems.

Med, I don't know or care how many people will think this is innapropriate because in this day and age you aren't supposed to talk like this but...get that kid in a boxing gym, get him trained, and then let him beat the piss outta that f*#&kin' bully.
That is all.

What blurk said. Agreed. It'll give him a measure of self-confidence, too.


Both my kids had to deal with bullies when they were in middle school. I have to agree with blurk, although I was going to suggest 1)you find someone your boy could ride to school with (carpool), and 2)karate lessons. The girlduckling ended up with a brown belt, and learned some very nifty self-defense moves. It also increased her confidence level immensely. The boyduckling didn't get quite as far along, but he learned enough to help him deal with situations more effectively. Bullies don't usually bully those who can fight back.

Pats get by in a squeaker over the Iggles. In other news, the Texans still suck*WARNING*WARNING*Doc Rick is about to deploy his signature punctuation mark* Damnit!

*Slides a cold, frosty mug down the blogbar to Doc, along with a bowl of turkey-flavored gumballs*

*Slides a cold, frosty mug down the blogbar to Doc, along with a bowl of turkey-flavored gumballs*

It's still so cold here, even my posts are chattering.

Ducky, I'll grab that second one.

Thanks Ducky! I could use a double shot of both probably.

Doc, I think blurk grabbed the extra. There's plenty more, though. And please share the gumballs with Meditrina.

Yeah Doc, you know a team is in trouble when they try to bury their standings amidst pictures of their cheerleaders. Can you say diversion?

No kidding Edgar. Sadly, the lovely gals on the cheer leading squad could probably tackle better than most of the Texans defensive line. As for the Broncos/Bears game, could somebody please tell me the exact moment when Rex Grossman went from being a combination of the Tin Man, Scarecrow, and Cowardly Lion into Joe Montana?

Doc - it was when I wasn't lookin', that's fer damned sure!!!

Doc, that was 4:14 into the fourth quarter.

Thanks for the love and the gumballs. I emailed a letter to the District PHD Superintendent, so we'll see.

I, too, was "that kid." Which makes it even harder to deal with my son.. cuz I have to deal with his shit and MINE. But that still doesn't excuse the BS. If they would have reassigned the bus driver a year and a half ago, when I insisted, perhaps we wouldn't have this situation.

Thanks, Ducky, GMTA. I have him in wrestling, which has helped. Unfortunately (or maybe not), he is an anal, by the book, kinda guy who has heard administrators say that violence WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. When what they really meant was, "Don't get caught."

I just can't get over the arrogance, MUCH LESS THE LOOK ON MY KIDS' FACE, at Youtube. UnFuckingbelievable. My apologies.

Med, it's a rotten situation. I really hope you can get Youtube to remove that video.

Raising chillens is the toughest job on the planet. Hang in there.

Med, I'm just curious, but if they had no intention of doing anything about it, why call it to your attention at all? I'd ask about that. Also - how did this get on anyone's radar?

Thanks, ducky. The main screen name is down... has been since tuesday. The kids' secondary screen name is still up and runnin'... at least until school starts tomorrow.

Isn't there some FCC law regarding sexual harassment of a minor?

*sigh* You can't take back the fact that your whole school has watched you being bullied and harrassed. I guess that is the bottom line and the source of my angst.

Most everyone has been there, at some point, but we didn't have to see it broadcast via the internet.


Middle school has always reminded me of Lord of the Flies. It's a downright vicious place. I think Nietzsche was in middle school when he said, "What does not kill me makes me stronger."

OK, if I'm quoting Nietzsche, it's past my bedtime. Nighty-night, y'all! Sweet dreams!

Ducky, that reminds me. I should go to sleep as well.

So the official end of the Thanksgiving weekend comes not with a bang, but a Nietzsche reference. To be honest, I wasn't even aware that the Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame linebacker was that noted of a philosopher? Although "Tastes Great!" is considered the most celebrated intellectual arguments against the "Less Filling" movement that pervaded the waning years of the 20th Century.

Public schooling started on the slippery slope towards anarchy when corporal punishment was outlawed in schools. One of my clients related an incident at her 16 yr old son's school where a 15 yr old boy had sex with a dog, filmed it on his cell phone and sent it to his peers at school. He supposedly did this because he felt he was unpopular and needed to do something the other boys would approve of in order to increase his popularity. To their credit, most of the other boys did not find the deed "cool".

On a much lighter note, yesterday was the annual Teddy Bear Run where all the bikers head for a particular venue with teddy bears to give to under-privilaged children. We had to go to the other side of Johannesburg for an appointment and it was great to see all the bikers on their hogs and superbikes, all dicked out in their gang colors with teddy bears on their backs. I've never seen so many bikes on the highway at one time. The tradition was started many years ago by the local chapter of the "Hell's Angels".

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