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November 29, 2007


We found this propped up on the sink in the guest bathroom, which I guess is the one Sophie figures Santa would use.


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Wow, Santa has some pressure on him this year. Somthing "especially" from him.

Sophie just keeps on moving up the cute-as-a-button list, huh, Dave??

Oh, and Awwww, how sweet...
(now I am singing "I just want a hoola hoop")

Pretty short list for a 2nd-grader. Only 4 things.

Actually, Dread Jr's (also in 2nd grade) list only has 1 line on it: "One of each, please."

A disco lamp?!

Hello, Children's Protective Services...

You may be Jewish, Sophie, but did you know that Santa is from Turkey?

Awwww that's adorable!!

*wonders what that something "special" will be*

She's a smart girl. She's one up on the lazy kids that won't make their lists till the 24th.

She might want to add just one more thing.

(wait for it to fully load...)

fiv, I had the same thought.

Dave, what are you teachin' that youngin'.

I'm sure you're teachin' her to use proper punctuation. Which is something I apparently never learned.

Is it just me or is that written on a piece of scrap cardboard? Perhaps Sophie should ask Santa for a ream of paper.

Or better yet, for her dad to get a job writing columns again. At least then they could steal "borrow" paper from the Herald supply closet and maybe even afford a stamp so she could mail it.

Of course, I asked for the same thing last year and all I got was another book of recycled columns. Better get used to disappointment, Sophie.

Those American Girl items are pretty good. My daughter had Josefina when she was in that stage. There are so many accessories that it's easy to give different ones for at least two years, until the craze passes. Then you can sell them all on Ebay. ;)

this is how it starts, first the disco lamp, then the stripper pole.....be afraid, be very afraid.

Ah, cg. The voice of experience.

I'm blown away - the penmanship, spelling, grammar - good job raising a smart kid, Dave & Michelle!


Ah, but she's learned something at Hebrew School perhaps? Note the little "p.s" to Santa - she knows if Mom is Jewish, she is, too. Even if Dad is a P.K. Good girl!(and , no, I'm not the Jew in my household - that's my DH. I'm a Methodist, which according to many comedians is close...)

Ummm Dave - "American girl things"?

Have you been buying this child underwear from Latvia or something? Have you been torturing her with raw wool bloomers and third world dresses? Get this child to a Gap or Old Navy ASAP!

CG, isn't your hair a reddish color? A friend of AlphaDog's has TWO poles and a trapeze in his bedroom. He said his wife is redheaded and he just can't build enough toys for her. AlphaDog just shook his head and said "I know whatcha mean, man".

I'm with Atticusser.

Dave, have you seen the price tag on those American Girl things....?!!!!

You better get back to writing columns so you can afford Sophie's list and the gazillion dollar vacation and tipping to a nameless tropical island.

Wow, great news y'all! According to John Smith, I just won 828,000 pounds! (Sorry, I don't know how to make that fancy L looking thing). I figure, meh, if it was 900,000, I might claim it, but why waste my time with only 828,000?

Come on guys, the disco lamp is to go with the lava lamp she got for her birthday!

I still save my daughter's old letters to Santa. When she found out the truth last year, not only did she yell,"I've been sitting in the lap of a stranger!!" and "A fat man coming down a chimney, how could I be so stupid!!!", but she demanded to know what I did with all her letters. That still cracks me up.

casey - I already claimed it, and it was 828,000 pounds of pooh. You didn't miss anything.

Compost anyone?

What happened to last year's hula hoop?

Santa's not real?!!!

Awwwwww. Hopefully she doens't learn my daughter's trick. She kept a loose tooth in her mouth for a few days, then yanked it out so the Tooth Fairy could meet Santa on Christmas Eve. She then pulled the same trick Easter Eve so Fairy and Bunny could meet. She now brings the same "creativity" to being a 17 year old.

casey, i'm not a read head. i have not toys in my room, just tools. read into that what you will.

thinks we should set up a collection for dave to buy sophie some writing paper. poor kid is reduced to writing letters on cardboard.

ack!!! wait, wait, how did that "a" get in there?!?!
how humiliating.
takes up a collection to buy cg some proofreading lessons.


I lost a tooth one Christmas eve (Well, not exactly lost). I was probably about 7 or 8 at the time. We had just gotten home from my grandmother's house for Christmas Eve dinner, and I guess I complained too much about my loose tooth, because my dad insisted on pulling it. I think I've blocked most of it, except for my dad and my ex-brother-in-law (I'm the baby, by a lot) prying my mouth open and my dad pulling out his new flashlight to check things out.

Uhm, Dave?

When you were within a block of the American Girl Doll Store in Chicago, you didn't walk out with several large red bags of stuff?

If your daughter sees the photgraphic evidence, you might be in deep trouble. Quick, destroy the evidence of the picture on Pearson Street!


Fixed now?

Yes, fivver, there is a Santa Claus.

Gee, I never used italics before.

...and she knows you've been naughty.

Yes, I have been.

(My house, late December, when I was three.)

Me: Should I believe in Santa Claus?

Mom: Ask your father, I'm busy.

(in Dad's home office)

Me: Should I believe in Santa Claus?

Dad: No. But ask your mother about it.

Me: (sigh)

Oh, brother, DPC!

That is a wonderful letter.

And I realize I forgot something last week. I had three wisdom teeth pulled. I should have tried harder to keep them (stupid OSHA regulations) and left them for the tooth fairy...

Sophie wrote this sweet note nice and big so Santa could read it, since he's getting old. Maybe he'll bring her a kosher dog or two.

OSHA won't let you keep wisdom teeth, Susan? My cousin has his. I wonder if it varies from state to state.
Ah, well.

Jemmy, I asked the assistant before I got numb, and she said OSHA regulations wouldn't let me keep them, due to the blood and so on, even though it was mine.

Never mind the wads of gauze I had in my mouth, covered with more of the same. At least I got to take a good look at them first. (Two of the three had cavities that had been filled. I put a lot of money into those teeth. I wanted at least ONE good look at them.)

I've got my wisdom teeth in a jar at home. I want to get them mounted but haven't gotten around to it yet.

Dave: Staple the Hannah Montana ticket stubs to the note.

'Nuff said.

Thank you for contacting Santa's workshop. All our customer service elves are busy right now, however, your note is important to us. We thank you for your patience.

This blog may be monitored for quality control purposes.

Dear Sophie,
I'd love to help you out with this, but your dad did some pretty mean things to a church Nativity in Armonk,NY, sooo....oooh, look - gelt!

Susan, Jemmy, several years ago I had a grapefruit sized cyst removed. I didn't get to keep it, but the doc gave me the COOLEST pictures of it! The doc was all in my guts, pokin' at it and stuff, it was so neat. That year we scanned pix of my kids and the cyst and made Christmas cards for the family. The cyst was named Joe.

I also have pix of a shoulder surgery. They actually drilled a hole into my bone, tied up some muscles and tendons and attached them with a string thing back into the hole in my bone. I have a picture of the drill going thru my bone!

I'm a very sick individual.

casey, I'll trade pictures of my last colonoscopy...

Does Santa spend a lot of time in the bathroom nowadays?

I'm Jewish and Santa never visited me.

casey, I have pics of my gut wide open when I had the c-section. I KNEW I loved you for a reason. We gotta blame Stephen King.

pssst, siouxie. me too. but didn't realize it til much later. awwwwwwww, look at the baby, awww, mom looks whupped, gee isn't the doctor cute, ohmygawd what is that?!?!!?!

We (I, with the tooth story) turned a Santa note posting into the surgury hour. God bless us, every one.

adorable ... and i'm jewish too. she needs to contact channukkah harry.
all i wanted for christmas was a good chinese dinner.

fivver, I often go to medical websites to look at videos of surgeries...I've seen colonoscopies, hemeroidectomies, all kinds of extremely gross stuff. It's so bad, my 12 yr old boy will not watch with me. You KNOW it has to be bad if a 12 yr old boy wont watch.

"Something especially from you (I'm Jewish)." Hmmm...

Blitzen's blintzes?

Two of the red-rose dreidels?

Fa la la la la, la la la latkes?

Stevie, don't forget the ever popular...

"Grandma got run over by a rabbi"

Hey y'all. Been a very long time since I posted, just been lurking deep in the shadows for the last many months, but the surgery stuff brought me back out.

I'm finishing up PA school and doing my surgery rotation this month. Think ELBOW DEEP in someone's guts. Drilled a hole in someone's skull yesterday and today drained a baseball-sized abscess. It's awesome. Nuff said.

Wow, Josh. Pictures? :-D

"Honey, why is my camera covered with blood?"

I don't think so.

Dave. Something special? Squirrel skull? Perfect timing.

In lieu of my own personal gory pics, however, I share with you these:

NEJM - An Intraabdominal Cyst

NEJM - Trichobezoar

Also click on the "Image Challenge" and test your diagnostic (ugh) skills. Make sure you go through the archives.

But should the list be in the bathroom?

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