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November 21, 2007

TERRORISM UPDATE

Now the bastards are using jellyfish.

(Thanks to Meanie the Blue)

IT SEEMS TO US...

...that these people need to contact these people.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and DavCat)

WISCONSIN

Where Beer Is Important

(Thanks to Rob Johnson and sjhaller)

WE DON'T CARE IF THIS THING LIVED 390 MILLION YEARS AGO

We're staying out of the sea.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

ATTENTION TAXPAYERS, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO TRAVEL BY AIR:

Want to avoid stress? Then do not click on this.

THE CRAPCAM: A TECHNICAL EVALUATION

OK, here is a photo of last night's Hannah Montana concert, taken for the Miami Herald by Emily Michot:
Hannahmontana
And, here, once again, is the CrapCam photo I took of roughly the same scene:
Davehannah
I frankly do not see any difference.

MAYBE THIS WOMAN...

...could hook up with this guy.

Key Name:
"Hardwick"

(Thanks to Drew Harchick)

THE APOCALYPSE

It is definitely here.

(Thanks to Siouxie)
 
WARNING: Do not click this link before, during or after breakfast.

LEAST COMPREHENSIBLE HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

Denton County guinea pig rescuers want on jury pay list

(Thanks to D**C**)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Now they're using predatory Christmas-tree wasps.

(Thanks, yet again, to DavCat)

CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff)

ATTENTION, LADIES:

He's single.

(Thanks to Moo Kow)

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

Cornslide

(Also thanks to DavCat)

YOU WOULDN'T THINK THAT ANTS EVEN NEED APHRODISIACS

(Thanks to DavCat)

HANNAH MONTANA WRAPUP

The girls squealed and bounced up and down like little Whack-a-Moles all the way through the concert. It was actually a pretty good show; here's the Herald review, by Howard Cohen. My lone complaint was this woman I ended up behind in the line for concert merchandise when I went to get posters for the girls. This woman had surgically enhanced lips that made her look like she was wearing military face pontoons, and she wanted to buy a T-shirt, but first she wanted to see, and discuss, and compare, and discuss some more, every single one of the roughly 20 different T-shirts they had. She would look at one for a good two minutes -- holding it up, turning it around, examining the label -- and then she would say to the saleswoman, "So do you think a 13-year-old would like this?" And the saleswoman, seeing that there were people waiting in line behind this woman, would say yes. Pontoon Lips would look at the shirt some more, then say, "Can you get me the purple one again? With the sleeves?" And the line would groan. But other than that, it was a nice evening. The girls giggled and squealed all the way home.

November 20, 2007

UPDATE



Here is an exclusive CrapCam photo of Hannah Montana. Or a boat explosion. Either way, it's quality entertainment.

UPDATE



Somewhere in this exclusive CrapCam photo is the opening act, a band called the Jonas Brothers. They are hugely popular with young girls, based on the screaming level in this arena, which is undoubtedly interfering with air traffic.
NOTE: This photo could also be of a recently discovered galaxy. There is no way to tell.

UPDATE



We're here. There is much screaming and many media persons covering this important story.These people are crowding imto a tent to buy Hannah Montana merchandise.

HANNAH MONTANA

Mrs. Blog, using Connections, was able to get some tickets to the Hannah Montana concert tonight. This is sort of like getting an audience with the Pope, only more difficult. Also the Pope does not lip-sync. But the point is, I'm about to get into a car and drive to the concert with Mrs. Blog and three insanely excited 7-year-old girls. I will attempt to post updates from the concert, assuming my body does not disintegrate from the combined shriekage of thousands of other insanely excited girls. Wish me luck.

19,497

(Thanks to Schadeboy)

A GIANT LEAP FORWARD FOR MANKIND

The Voice-Controlled Blender

(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff)

WE MAY HAVE BLOGGED THIS ALREADY

But, dammit, we need to blog it again.

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve)

Update: And there is this (thanks to Paul Willhite). But please stop sending this, because we blogged it already today.

SANDUSKY

Where The News Never Stops

HO HO HOOOOOOOOOOO

MOST SHOCKING HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

LAS VEGAS

City of Culture

(Thanks to Siouxie)

DEPARTMENT OF THINGS YOU PROBABLY WERE NOT AWARE OF

The Papal Tractor

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

CREEPING FASCISM

Now they want to take away our fundamental right to freedom of expression in the form of messages written on cheerleaders' bloomers.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

ADVISORY TO CUSTOMERS OF BLONDIE'S BAR

Don't argue about your order.

WARNING TO MEN: Do not click on this link.

INNOVATIVE CANADIAN IDEA OF THE WEEK SO FAR

...because diesel engines don't smell bad enough already.

(Also thanks to DavCat)

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

Andrex the Loo-Roll Stowaway Piglet

(Thanks to Siouxie)

BEER

It's not just for humans.

(Thanks to Annie Where-but-here, who asks everyone to remember, during Thanksgiving week, to give thanks for the fact that that no matter how bad things may seem, they could be worse.)

SQUIRREL TERRORISTS

Now they're coordinating their attacks.

(Also thanks to DavCat and Andrew Hoenig)

GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND

Exploding Bladders

(Thanks to DavCat)

ONLY IN MIAMI

"Castro killed here over a billion times."

November 19, 2007

THE WRITERS GUILD MAY NOT WIN THE STRIKE

But they're definitely making the best videos.

(Thanks to Beth Armogida)

AND THE POINT IS...

(Thanks to Larry Martell, who asks, "Why do we need a female robot to do this?")

UPDATE FROM THE HEARTLAND

From DeskDiva:

Recently I attended a church retreat at Prairie Star Ranch in Williamsburg, KS.  It’s a beautiful place, and the main entrance area has a nice foyer with restrooms off the sides.  The signs for each are right outside the restroom door.  One set of signs is rather commonsensical, in my opinion, but the other…well, it defies explanation.  See my attached crapcam photos for clarification!

Noballs

COMING SOON

Crouching Dragon, Hidden Toilet

(Via Gizmodo)

RHETORICAL QUESTION FOR TODAY

"Why don't we drink rat's milk?" asks Heather Mills.

(Thanks to Trouble, who states, "And I vote Heather gets the job milking them.")

DUH, PART II

(Thanks to Schadeboy)

WE NEVER GOT TO SQUEEZE HIM GOODBYE

Mr. Whipple is gone.

(Thanks to DeskDiva and John Regan)

WELL, DUH

(Thanks to ShadowKatmandu)

NEVERTHELESS, AN HOUR LATER THEY WERE HUNGRY AGAIN

Whoops.

(Thanks to Siouxie and Expat Canuck)

MMM

Spit-roasted camel.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Now they're using boars.

(Thanks to gahick)

IMPORTANT INVENTIONS THAT WOULD NOT EXIST WITHOUT GUYS

The gasoline-powered blender.

Thanks to Andy the TropicHunt.com Guy, who says:

I shot this video yesterday during a tailgate party up in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
I had one of these served to me at an earlier game in the middle of a snow-filled tailgate party. You have not lived until you've had a frozen drink served to you from a lawn mower-powered blender by a from V.P. of Oshkosh B'Gosh when the temperature is about 23 degrees outside.
WARNING: Mild swearing at the end.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

From Mr. Jeff Arch:

How come in all the westerns i've seen, nobody ever robs the saloon? They're always robbing stagecoaches and banks, and then going to a place that has not only money, but then they give it more money by buying  liquor that they could just go ahead and steal. Then they'd have the liquor and the money. Why would a guy shoot up innocent citizens and then go pay for a drink?

 

ATTENTION, GUYS WHO ARE CONCERNED ABOUT HUMAN RIGHTS

Here's a cause you can support.

(Thanks to Siouxie)

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT

Armpit
And we don't want to know.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

 
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